


let me be yours

by isaksforelsket



Series: my strange addiction [2]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends With Benefits, Hurt/Comfort, Kink Exploration, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Penetrator Even, S1!Isak, Slow Burn, a lot of kinky stuff, idiots to lovers, kind of, like...a lot, s3!Even
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2020-05-12 10:04:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 92,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19226926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isaksforelsket/pseuds/isaksforelsket
Summary: After a night of meaningless sex, Isak and Even enter a turbulent relationship filled with confusion, sex, and misunderstandings.---Where Isak is a snarky first year, and Even is a member of the Penetrators.





	1. party mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,  
> I've been wanting to write this for ages really and I got encouraged to actually do it by the lovely people of Tumblr.  
> So, here's an AU in which Even is a fuckboy member of the Penetrators, and he is definitely not falling for the sweet, cute lil first year Issy.  
> I'd recommend reading the first part of the series (which I wanted to keep as a one shot because it can stand alone AS a one shot, it doesn't really need this), but if you don't want to, here's a summary: they meet at a party, Even flirts with Isak for a while, one night Even saves Isak from some guy at a party, they walk home, they have some hot sex. That's it.  
> This chapter is in Isak's POV but I'll be changing it every once in a while.

Groaning as the sunlight shone through the window, hitting his sleeping face directly, Isak shoved his face into his pillow, hoping he’d be able to go back to the peaceful state he was just in for at least a little while longer.

After a few minutes of lying in bed and trying to focus on relaxing his body and breathing calmly, he gave up on trying to fall asleep, knowing it was impossible at this point. He turned on his back, his arm swinging to his side.

Frowning as he felt a cold, empty side of the bed he lifted his head off of his pillow, noticing that he was alone. And judging by the coldness of the covers, he knew it’s been a while since Even left. He threw his head back down, trying to figure out when exactly Even sneaked out. He would’ve thought he’d feel Even leave, since he usually wakes up at the smallest sound he hears, but it seems like he slept soundly throughout the night.

Laughing bitterly, he shook his head before a frown took over his features once again.

_Fuck._

He had no reason to be mad, or to be remotely upset that Even had left him. In fact, he didn’t even know why exactly he was a bit disappointed not to have woken up in the comforting embrace of Even’s warm body, he should be happy not to have to deal with his teasing.

It was just because he slept well with Even, thats why he wanted him to stay, that’s it, Isak tried to convince himself.

Rubbing his hands over his face, waking himself up even more, he looked over to the side, noticing a black garment on the pillow next to his.

Leaning up on his elbow, he took it in his hands, unfolding it and reading the print on the front.

Releasing a groan, he rolled his eyes as he turned the hoodie. And sure enough, there it was. Proof that he had fucked up and done something he’d been telling himself for weeks not to do, written out for him in bold red letters.

Throwing the hoodie back on the bed, he noticed a piece of paper fall onto the floor. Stretching his arm to reach it, he felt around for a few seconds before he finally retrieved it and looked at it.

_Let me know if you want to do this again pretty boy_

And written beneath it was a phone number. Scoffing and shaking his head slightly, Isak reached for his phone quickly, typing the number in and sending Even a text.

**Even**

_First of all, do you want your hoodie back or can I burn it? Second of all, don’t tell anyone this happened._

Picking on his bottom lip with his thumb and forefinger, Isak’s heartbeat sped up as he watched the dots appear, Even typing out a reply already.

_Aw you don’t like it? :(_

_It’s just to remind you of me baby_

_And don’t worry, it’ll be our dirty little secret ;)_

Rolling his eyes, he released a breath he didn’t know he was holding at the reassurance that no one would find out. Relieved that he wouldn’t be talked of as the _‘slut that gave it up for the most promiscuous of the Penetrators’_ , as all the other people that had done so were referred to. And he was definitely relieved he wouldn’t have to explain it to the guys, that he wouldn’t have to tell them that _‘yes after weeks of telling you I want absolutely nothing to do with him, I let him fuck me’_ , and he definitely didn’t want to hear Jonas say _‘I told you so, I knew you liked him.’_

The thing is, last night wasn’t planned and it definitely wasn’t something Isak thought would happen because he didn’t like Even, he didn’t.

He had heard of Even before the third year even laid his eyes on Isak, Eva having told him all the gossip she found out from Vilde, a rather chatty blonde girl she had met at the start of the year. So, he already knew of Even’s—and the Penetrators’—reputation, and all the rumours were confirmed during that party when Even approached him in the kitchen and rather confidently started flirting with Isak the second he found out he was single, the confidence he displayed making Isak want to toy with him for a bit, only to see if he would give up or if his arrogance would make him keep going.

And apparently, Isak not spreading his legs for him right then and there did the trick for Even, as he did keep going; saying hi to Isak at school, smiling at him and acting as if he didn’t really want to just fuck him and then carry on with his life, sticking his cock into the next best thing that came across his path. Acting as if this wasn’t all just a game to him to see how long it takes for Isak to sleep with him.

For a few moments, Isak thought that maybe he was actually genuinely interested, that he really did like Isak and that he didn’t just want to fuck all the first years now that the school year had begun, but then he’d hear about his conquests, or he’d see him flirting with someone else, and his bubble would burst and he’d remember that all Even thought of him was as something he wanted to fuck, that’s it.

And last night was an anomaly to what he had heard about the older boy; he was sweet, he was caring, he made sure Isak was okay, and he seemed real and honest as he spoke to Isak while they walked home from the chaotic party. And suddenly Isak didn’t care, he didn’t care what Even’s intentions were, he just wanted to kiss him and have him fuck him, and enjoy himself without caring about anything or anyone else, and so he did just that.

He moaned for Even, he whimpered his name, and arched his back when Even made him come, he curled up on his chest and fell asleep as Even played with his hair, and he was fine with that. He didn’t regret it, but waking up alone was only a bitter reminder of the fact that Even didn’t even have the decency to stay the night, he got what he wanted and left.

And Isak didn’t care, he really didn’t.

But then he remembered the gentle touches of Even’s lips against his legs as he cleaned him up, the caring nature of the third year making him look down at him in awe and he remembered a fleeting moment where a thought crossed his mind that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance that Even didn’t see him as just another random boy he got to fuck.

He shook his head to dispel the thoughts, his empty bed a cruel reminder of the truth.

He didn’t want Even to stay, he didn’t even want to date the guy really. Essentially, they both wanted the same thing: meaningless sex. And they both got it, and now they could move on, Isak could focus on finishing his first year, and Even could go back to fucking anything with a pulse.

Lifting his phone up from where it was laying on his chest, he started typing once again.

_Ugh, just keep your mouth shut._

And all he could hope for was that Even would listen.

* * *

Leaning his head against Jonas’ firm shoulder, Isak vaguely heard Magnus talk about something, possibly a party, but he couldn’t be sure, the exhaustion he felt leaving him incapable of paying attention. The cool morning breeze was hitting his face, making him shiver and push his hands further into his pockets.  

All he could focus on was trying not to let his eyes shut and just stay awake.

“Isak,” He heard Jonas say as he poked him in the forehead, making Isak scrunch up his nose and lift his head up, looking at him with a frown on his face.

“What?”

“Are you okay? You sleeping well?” Jonas said with a concerned voice, making sure to keep quiet enough so that Mahdi and Magnus didn’t hear him, but it didn’t matter anyways, as Magnus was too busy waving his hands around as he enthusiastically told some story about a girl he met at a party, and Mahdi was shaking his head, releasing a groan every once in a while as the story grew more and more ridiculous.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it man, I’m fine.” Isak plastered on a smile, his friends kindness making fondness unfurl in his chest as he watched Jonas nod slightly, not quite believing Isak but choosing not to say anything about it, before he tried to tune back into the conversation.

Isak looked around the courtyard, students moving in groups and laughing amongst themselves, apparently not having an issue with behaving like functioning human beings so early in the morning. He furrowed his brows as he kept looking around, his eyes hurting from the exhaustion he felt, when suddenly a laughter made him perk up, for some reason his mood improving as he looked towards the source of the sound, his eyes landing on Even surrounded by the rest of the Penetrators.

He watched as Even threw his head back and clutched his stomach while laughing, his eyes closing from the width of his smile, holding onto Chris’ shoulder with the other hand, the shorter boy looking at him with a smug grin.

As Even’s laughter simmered, he lowered his head and caught Isak’s gaze, making Isak look down quickly, feeling like an idiot for having been caught staring. He glanced up, noticing that Even was still looking at him.

Raising his eyebrows up in question, he watched a smirk grow on Even’s face as he winked, or tried to wink, the sight making Isak bite his lip to contain a laugh.

He rolled his eyes and looked away, suddenly noticing Jonas’ stare on him.

“What’s going on with you two?” He asked for what seemed to be the hundredth time, and Isak groaned, growing tired of the question.

He looked at Jonas, noticing that the attention of the other two boys was on him as well, Magnus turning around to glance at the Penetrators before he turned back towards Isak.

Rolling his eyes, Isak lifted his eyebrows up, “there’s nothing going on, he’s just being irritating.”

“He likes you,” Jonas said with an earnest look.

“No, he just wants to fuck me.”

“Okay, so? He’s good looking, just have sex with him,” Magnus said as he gave Isak an incredulous look, seemingly confused as to why Isak doesn’t want to sleep with him.

Snorting slightly, Isak shook his head, “why don’t you fuck him since you seem to think he’s so hot?”

Mahdi and Jonas laughed as Magnus tilted his head, “he’s not constantly staring at me, he looking at your twinky ass.”

The other two boys nodded as they looked at Isak with smirks on their faces. He sighed and looked off to the side, “shut the fuck up, I’m not going anywhere near him.”

The boys hastily changed the subject as Isak felt his phone buzz in his back pocket.

He quickly took it out and read the notification displayed on the screen.

**Even**

_Wanna come to mine later?_

Rolling his eyes, Isak looked up to see Even already looking at him, a smirk on his face as he waved his phone in the air, making Isak sigh as he typed out a response.

_Fuck no._

He glanced back at Even to see him read the reply, laughing slightly as he began typing.

_Not what you were saying last week pretty boy_

He felt his cheeks redden as he furrowed his brows, quickly sending a reply.

_One time only, never again._

He locked his phone and put it back in his pocket. He looked up to see Even roll his eyes as he read Isak’s message, he put his phone away and met Isak’s gaze, winking at him as he smirked, Isak rolling his eyes and trying to get back to the conversation happening around him, pushing Even to the back corner of his mind and making sure not to look in his direction.

* * *

Shutting the door behind him, Isak kicked his shoes off and threw his jacket on the hook, rushing to get to his room and throw himself onto his comfy bed, the middle of the week finding him exhausted already.

“Isak,” He heard Eskild yell from the kitchen, the clatter of what he presumed to be Eskild searching for something heard straight after. Throwing his backpack onto the couch, Isak headed to where Eskild was, the noises getting louder as he got closer.

Walking through the doorway, he caught sight of Eskild rummaging through the cupboards, frantically moving bowls around.

Leaning against the doorway, Isak looked at him with amusement, “Okay, what the fuck are you doing?”

Sparing a glance in his direction, Eskild turned back to the cupboards and opened the next one, “I found this recipe book full of cocktails and drinks and I wanted to try to make some.”

Snorting out a laugh, Isak watched Eskild move some pots and pans, gasping as he reached forward in the cupboard, “fuck yes, I found it.” He said as he took out the cocktail shaker, a smug smile on his face as he turned towards Isak.

Sighing softly, Isak went to leave before he got roped into helping him, “well have fun, I’m going to my room.”

“Ah, don’t you want to spend some time with me? Come on my gay little baby,” he gasped suddenly, his hand coming up to clutch his heart, “oh my god, gayby,” Eskild said excitedly as he took out all the ingredients he needed, a wide smile on his face.

Laughing slightly, Isak turned and left the room, raising his voice to be heard from the hallway, “definitely not, have fun.”

“Boring,” He heard Eskild yell, making him chuckle as he entered the living room.

Quickly grabbing his backpack off the couch, he rushed to his room.

Shutting the door behind him, he placed the bag on the chair next to his desk, turning to search for sweatpants through his messy closet, grabbing the closest pair he could find.

Taking his jeans off, he threw them to the side, putting on a pair of comfier pants and grabbing the laptop from his desk before he lay down on the bed, turning his laptop on immediately and opening up his Netflix account.

He sighed as he saw his phone light up where it lay on the bed. Reaching forward, he groaned once he saw the name on his screen, rolling his eyes he opened the conversation.

**Even**

_You don’t wear my hoodie :(_

_It’s in the trash_

_Ouch_

_I just want everyone to know I’ve been inside the hottest piece of ass in school_

Isak groaned as he read the message, rubbing his face with one hand as a blush covered his cheeks at the memories of that night.

_Thanks Even, so romantic_

He locked his phone and threw it to the side as he grabbed his headphones off of the bedside table, plugging them into the laptop and deciding to just waste a few hours away watching some random tv show, not thinking of anything else and ignoring every notification he got on his phone.

* * *

Opening up his locker, Isak took his books out quickly, wanting to get to class before he’s late, the students around him doing the same.

“Hey,” he heard Jonas say as he repeated Isak’s previous actions and took his books out as well while Isak shut his locker, leaning against it with his shoulder.

“’Sup?” Isak said as he waited for Jonas to get his stuff, knowing that they had the first lesson together.

“Wanna go out tomorrow?” Jonas swung his backpack over his shoulder, walking slowly down the corridor, Isak by his side.

“Sure, where?” He asked while pushing past a group of students still talking in the hallway, not caring about getting to their lessons in time.

He heard Jonas mumble something out, not understanding what he said he looked towards him with a frown as the boy avoided his gaze, “where?”

Looking towards him, Jonas sighed in resignation, “Some guy from the Penetrators invited Mahdi and told him to bring friends as well and he said we’ll go.”

Groaning, Isak looked at Jonas with his brows furrowed, “fuck, Jonas.”

“I know, I know, you hate them, Even is horrible, you definitely don’t want to suck his dick blah blah blah,” he said mockingly as they got close to their classroom, making Isak huff and open his mouth to defend himself, but Jonas interrupted him, “just avoid him, don’t talk to him. We’re just going to drink and have fun, you don’t even have to interact with the guy.”

Opening the door, Isak entered the nearly full classroom and headed towards their usual desk in the back, Jonas trailing behind him, still waiting for an answer.

“Fine,” Isak said with a groan as threw himself onto the chair, he watched as a smile spread on Jonas’ face.

“Don’t worry bro,” Jonas said as they both took their books out of their bags, “It’ll be great.”

* * *

Stumbling through the crowd, Isak looked around, trying to figure out where the bathroom is, the beer he was drinking earlier making it hard for him to focus.

He caught sight of Eva leaning against the wall, and just as he was about to approach her to say hi, he noticed a blonde girl with red stained lips standing very close to her, her eyes travelling down to Eva’s lips as she laughed and carried on talking, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Smiling to himself, Isak pushed between the groups of people once again, wanting to wash his hands quickly from the drink Magnus managed to spill all over his arms.

Although he didn’t want to admit it, he was having fun.  

There was a steady supply of drinks, he was talking and joking around with his friends, and he only saw Even once as he entered the house, and the older boy took no notice of him as he was sitting on the couch with a very pretty first year pressed up against him, who was giggling with a blush on her round cheeks as he whispered in her ear. Ignoring him completely, Isak headed to the kitchen to get himself a drink, and has been enjoying himself ever since.

Until Magnus started waving his hands around and consequently managed to pour out his drink all over Isak’s stretched out arm, which was now getting more and more uncomfortably sticky.

Practically running up the stairs he went to open the door to what he believed was the bathroom when someone opened it for him, a body colliding with his as it exited the room, making him stumble backwards and almost fall, but the firm grip on his arms saved him.

Releasing a breath, he opened his mouth to say thank you when he lifted his gaze and his eyes landed on Even.

Groaning slightly he pushed past him into the bathroom.

“Aw, I don’t even get a thank you?” Even said with a pout that Isak could see through the mirror as he washed his hands quickly.

Rolling his eyes, he ignored the question, grabbing the towel and drying his hands.

“I feel like you owe me now, since I’ve saved you and all,” Even said as he trailed his eyes over Isak’s body, leaning against the door frame and crossing his arms against his broad chest.  

“Are you asking me to fuck you just ‘cause you stopped me from falling on my ass?” Isak turned towards Even, leaning against the counter and tilting his head as he watched a smirk appear on Even’s face.

“I saved your ass, so it would be great if I could fuck it again,” Isak rolled his eyes as Even laughed slightly.

He fixed Even with a glare, making him roll his eyes, “I’m fucking around, god chill out. So uptight all the damn time.”

Sighing, Isak pushed himself away from the counter, walking towards Even and waiting for him to move so that he could get out. But no, Even remained in his place, arching a brow as he looked at Isak.

“Can you fuck off?” Isak snapped, just wanting to go to his friends and for Even to go talk to whoever the fuck he was planning on sleeping with that night.

Clicking his tongue, Even looked off to the side, “Or, I could bend you over and fuck you again, you liked it the last time.”

He could feel the warmth seeping to his cheeks but he refused to look away from Even, “that was a one-time thing.” He tilted his chin slightly, Even glancing down to his lips as he smirked.

Taking a step towards him, Isak stepped back in return as Even shut the door and approached him, Isak backing away until his butt hit the counter. Even placed his hands on either side of him, bringing his face close to Isak’s.

“You sure baby? You sure you don’t want me inside of you again?” Even tilted his head until he reached Isak’s ear, biting the earlobe gently before he trailed hot kisses down his neck, Isak moving his head to the side and giving Even more room on instinct, he felt Even smirk against his skin as he continued trailing kisses all over it, his tongue darting out every once in a while, “You sure you don’t want me to make you scream my name again?”

Even moved his head slowly until he leaned his forehead against Isak’s, his lips gently touching Isak’s, not applying any pressure, as Isak’s breath started coming out quicker, he licked his lips as his eyes met Even’s.

Isak glanced to Even’s lips, watching them pull into a smirk before Even leaned in, closing the distance between them and pressing his lips against Isak’s. Gripping Even’s shirt, Isak pulled him closer, whimpering as Even slid his tongue against his lower lip. Putting his hand on Isak’s cheek, Even pulled his mouth open, slipping his tongue into his mouth straight away.

Moving away from Isak, he turned for a second and Isak could hear the door locking, the sound echoing in his mind.

As Even turned, Isak splayed his hand against the back of his neck, pulling him towards him and their lips colliding in a passionate kiss once more, one of Even’s hands trailing through Isak’s hair as the other gripped his ass and pulled him closer, making Isak whimper.

Moving his hands down Even’s firm chest, Isak rushed to unbuckle his belt, pulling his pants and his boxers down and gripping his half hard cock straight after, making Even groan into the kiss and tighten his grip on Isak’s hair, pulling on it slightly.

As he started languidly moving his hand, he could feel Even growing in his hand, his hips grinding into Isak’s fist.

Reaching down with both hands, Even grabbed a fistful of Isak’s ass and started kneading it roughly, the sensation making Isak whine.

Moving his hands, Even quickly undid Isak’s pants and pulled them down, Isak’s already hard cock finally being released.

“Turn around baby,” Even said as he placed a final peck on Isak’s lips before he turned him around, his hand pushing between Isak’s shoulder blades straight away, making the boy fall onto the counter, his legs spreading as much as they could with his jeans around his ankles.

“Fuck Isak,” Even groaned, making Isak look up at him through the mirror, but Even’s gaze was facing downwards, his hands gripping Isak’s cheeks and spreading them, making Isak flush from how exposed he felt. Even suddenly lifted one hand and delivered a sharp slap across one of Isak’s cheeks, Isak gasping and flinching forwards slightly in return, but he couldn’t help but feel arousal rush through his body as his cock twitched at the slight feeling of pain.

Leaning forward, Even spat on Isak’s hole, rubbing it in with his fingers a second later.

Isak watched him reach down into his jeans, his hand returning with a condom and a satchet of lube.

“Came prepared, huh?” Isak looked at him through the mirror with a smile, their eyes meeting as Even smirked back at him.

“Yeah angel, I was hoping you’d be here so I could stick my cock in this tight little ass of yours,” a blush covered Isak's cheeks and he lowered his head onto his forearms, hearing Even laugh slightly from behind him before he heard him open the lube, a drop landing on his crack and sliding down as Even poured it over his fingers.

Isak inhaled sharply as he felt a finger spread lube over his hole, releasing his breath as Even pushed it in slowly, making sure to stretch Isak out.

Angling his finger, Isak could feel Even hit his prostate, making him gasp and moan as Even kept applying firm pressure to it, rubbing circles into it until he pulled his finger out and started pumping it in and out, making sure to hit Isak’s prostate every time.

“Fuck Even,” Isak moaned as he felt another finger enter him.

“That feel good, baby?”

“Yes, fuck, more, please,” he moaned loudly as Even started moving faster, occasionally slowing down and just massaging over Isak’s spot.

Applying one more finger, Even stretched him out, making him moan constantly as he pushed harder into him, getting him ready, Isak grinding his hips back onto his hand.

“Ev- please fuck me now,” Even groaned and met his eyes in the mirror before removing his fingers, reaching to the side and ripping the condom open and quickly applying it over his straining hard cock.

Gripping it at the base, he used his other hand to pull on Isak’s cheek, revealing his well stretched out hole. Grabbing the lube, he spread some over his cock, rubbing his fingers over Isak’s rim one more time to cover it in excess lube and to make sure he’s ready.

Sliding his cock over Isak’s ass, he put the tip in, teasing him for a while until Isak had enough; with a high-pitched whine he pushed himself back, Even’s dick halfway inside of him suddenly.

“Fuck baby, so desperate for me aren’t you?” Even groaned as he leaned forward, grabbing Isak’s chin and moving his head to the side roughly, allowing him to press their lips together. Whimpering softly, Isak started grinding his hips back, taking more of Even’s massive cock in as he felt the older boy lick into his mouth before he moved away, grabbing Isak’s hips and pushing into him all the way.

Isak gasped and shut his eyes, his mouth dropping open at the massive length inside of him.

“You take it so well baby, it’s okay,” Even spoke as he started moving his hips slowly, making small thrusts forward until Isak felt ready and he moaned loudly, pushing back against Even.

His hands held Isak’s hips in a bruising hold, his thumbs placed on the dimples above Isak’s ass, and he pulled his dick out completely before shoving it back inside of Isak, making the smaller boy release a loud moan as Even started properly fucking into him.

Moving his hips to meet Even’s thrusts, Isak saw stars behind his eyelids as Even hit his prostate almost every single time, pushing him to the edge already.

Moaning continuously, Isak looked at Even in the mirror with tears in his eyes, and he almost came right then and there. Even’s face was covered with a sheen of sweat; his cheeks flushed; his teeth digging into his plump bottom lip until he released it, leaving it slightly red; the sleeves of his Penetrators hoodie pulled up over his forearms; his blonde hair was pushed back, except for one strand that fell over his forehead, swaying with every thrust he made. Meeting Isak’s eyes in the mirror, Even leaned forward once again, this time sucking a mark into Isak’s neck.

Grinding his hips into him, applying constant pressure on just the right spot, and suddenly Isak was even closer to coming than he was before.

“Even, I need to come please, f-fuck me harder.”

Lifting himself up, Even smirked as he saw Isak’s fucked out expression in the mirror, “you want it harder sweetheart?” He asked as he slowed his movements down, Isak whining in return.

Nodding his head frantically, Isak moaned as he felt the slow drag of Even’s cock inside of him.

“Beg.”

“W-What?” Isak asked as he met Even’s smug expression.

“If you want it, then beg for it.”

Contemplating for a second, Isak shook his head as he tried to move his hips back, but the firm grip Even had on him prevented him from moving, making him lean his head against his forearms and groan in frustration.

“No?” Even asked with disappointment seeping through his voice. “You don’t want me to make you cum?” Even moved his hand down, gripping Isak’s cock where it was dripping precum onto the floor, making Isak gasp and thrust forward into his fist slightly.

His thumb slid over Isak’s slit, collecting the precum before he dragged his hand down, twisting his wrist on the upstroke and applying pressure to the tip, but still keeping his movements far too slow for Isak to cum.

Panting softly, Isak whispered, “please.”

Stopping his movements completely, Even said smugly, “What was that pretty boy?”

Groaning slightly, Isak panted out, “please Even fuck me, I need you to give it to me hard, oh my god, please I just want you to make me come, please Even.” Isak panted as he watched Even smirk at him as he leaned forward, placing a wet kiss on Isak’s red cheek.

“Such a good boy for me.”

Moaning loudly as Even started moving faster than before, the hand around his dick now moving in sync with his hips, and Isak was closer than ever. The huge cock inside of him lighting up every cell in his body, making him think he’d never feel this full again, and the strong sure hand around his cock making him moan and whimper Even’s name as he approached his climax.

“Come for me,” Even said firmly and Isak’s eyes rolled back into his head as he felt his orgasm roll out of him, his come covering Even’s hand and droplets of it falling onto the floor as his ass rhythmically tightened around Even’s dick, his toes curling in his shoes. As he whimpered through it, he felt Even move his come covered hand and put it on Isak’s ass, his hips twitching as he tried to prevent himself from pounding into the boy in front of him.

Finally lifting his head after he calmed down, Isak whined as he felt Even still so fucking deep inside of him, pressing up against his overstimulated prostate.

“Isak, fuck, can I?”

Nodding quickly, Isak gasped as he felt Even push into him harder and deeper, the stimulation making him feel like everything inside of him was on fire.

He clenched around Even and looked into his eyes, “come inside of me.”

He watched Even throw his head back and groan as he pushed into Isak harshly, his cock pulsating inside of him as he spilled out into the condom, his hands gripping Isak’s ass tighter than before as his mouth dropped open and his eyes shut while he came.

Isak looked at Even as he leaned forward onto the counter, his hands resting on the edges of it as he caught his breath, but fuck Isak couldn’t stand it anymore. Whining, he moved away from Even slightly, trying to get Even’s cock out of him.

Trailing his palm over Isak’s shirt covered back, Even leaned back, “shh, just relax baby.”

Isak shut his eyes as Even pulled out, leaving an empty space where he used to be. He felt Even grip his cheeks, spreading him apart and when he looked into the mirror, he saw Even’s eyes staring down at him, “so pretty Isak.” He said as he trailed his fingertips lightly over his rim, Isak inhaling shakily at the feeling. Even looked up at him, smiling before he reached to the side for the toilet paper, putting it on the counter while he took the condom off, tying it up swiftly and throwing it into the bin.

In a fashion similar to the last time they had done this, Even made sure Isak was okay, cleaning him up and wiping the lube and come off of him, Isak being rather useless at the moment, his body limp and exhausted after his orgasm.

Isak pulled his pants up and buttoned them up as Even did the same before they both turned to the sink and washed their hands.

“Are you going to say this is never going to happen again now or later?” Even asked with a smirk as he turned toward Isak, leaning against the counter as he crossed his arms.

Isak blushed as he walked towards the door, unlocking it before he looked back at Even, “just don’t tell anyone about this.”

He watched Even pretend to lock his mouth and throw away the key, making him roll his eyes as he left the bathroom and headed downstairs to the party, hoping his friends wouldn’t ask him about where he’s been.

Walking through the crowd, he caught sight of his friends, and he made his way over to them, running a hand through his hair to make sure he looked somewhat presentable.  

“Heey, what the fuck Isak?” Jonas laughed as he approached them, making him look at him with confusion written all over his features.

“Who’s the lucky guy?” He heard Mahdi say, all the boys snickering around him as he looked up at the ceiling and groaned.

“Doesn’t matter,” Isak said in hopes of them dropping the topic.

“Come on, tell us who it was,” Magnus said as he laughed, but Isak shook his head, knowing that he could never tell them who was just inside of him less than 10 minutes ago.

“I’m going to get a drink,” Isak moved away from them before they could carry on with their questions, hoping that they wouldn’t ask anything else once he returned.  

Pushing through the crowd, he tried to get to the kitchen, needing a drink in his hand immediately.

He turned his head as someone pushed past him, and just as he was about to turn back, he caught sight of Even. Even who was back to talking to the pretty girl Isak saw him with earlier, the girl that was getting increasingly closer to him as he leaned back against the wall, his mouth pulled up in the smirk that was usually aimed at Isak, only this time he had his eyes on someone ellse.

Turning around hastily, Isak scoffed as he entered the kitchen. Opening the fridge, he grabbed a beer out of it and opened it, taking a large swig of it straight away, hoping to be considerably less sober soon, and promising himself that this would never, ever happen again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, if you've made it this far, thank you!  
> Right, I've been wanting to write a P!Even fic for damn ages and I only just got around to it, so here it is.  
> The smutty smut at the end is a tiny bit similar to something I wrote a while back, but I just had that scene in my head and I couldn't get it out so I just wrote it like that.  
> The majority (if not all) of the chapters will contain some sort of smut because this will be a kink exploration type of fic, just a warning.  
> If you have any questions about this fic, or if you have any prompts you'd like me to write about separately OR even include in this fic, let me know on my Tumblr: isaksforelsket  
> And if you want to listen to me bitch about writing, or anything else, head over to my Twitter: vandervaltersen


	2. late night talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in Even's POV.

Leaning back against the cold brick wall, Even brought his hands up, a lighter held in one of them as he cupped the other one around the cigarette hanging from his mouth, shutting his eyes as he lit it, inhaling the hot smoke in his lungs and blowing it out, watching it disappear into the cool morning air. 

“Who did you disappear with on Saturday Even?” Chris asked with a smirk on his face, his hands stuffed in the front pockets of his Penetrators hoodie, the same one Even and Adrian, another member of the bus, happened to be wearing. 

“Some first-year girl, I can’t remember her name,” Even said as he inhaled once again, hoping that was the disappearance he was referring to. Because he did actually end up fucking the sweet little thing that batted her eyelashes at him and smiled coyly whenever she was near him, practically sitting in his lap on the couch as she twirled a strand of her brown hair, but she wasn’t the only one he was inside of that night. The first person being much more memorable in his opinion. 

“Nice one man,” Chris grinned as he offered him a fist bump, Even accepting it with a smirk before he turned his head to the side, the boys carrying on the conversation as he continued smoking and tried to tune out the noise around him, Chris laughing at something Adrian said as Even inhaled, his cigarette becoming shorter with each puff he took. 

He sighed as he rubbed a hand over his face before he ran it through his hair, grimacing as he massaged the back of his neck and tried to get rid of the stiffness he felt from sleeping so poorly throughout the night. 

“… that first year though. What’s his fucking name?” He heard Chris groan in frustration, “Isak, that’s it.” He snapped his fingers as he remembered who he was thinking of, the name which made Even look towards him straight away, his brows furrowed in Chris’s direction as the shorter boy kept his gaze on Adrian, a grin on his tan face as Adrian sighed and nodded, realizing who he was talking about. 

“What about him?” Even asked nonchalantly while bringing his cigarette back up to his lips, squinting as the sun shone towards him, hitting his face directly.  

Rolling his eyes, Chris sighed as he shot a glare at Even, ”are you not listening?” he asked, Even shrugging his shoulders in response. 

Chris opened his mouth to say something, but he glanced at something to his side, a grin spreading on his face, “there he is now,” Chris slapped his hand on Adrian’s chest, tilting his head to his right, making Even look as well, and there he saw Isak walking through the courtyard with a pretty redhead by his side; his black skinny jeans hugging his curves perfectly; his hands shoved into the pockets of his green jacket as his blonde curls swayed in the air with each step he took; both of them talking and giggling occasionally, the girl pushing him to the side slightly as she laughed at something he had said. The sight making a small involuntary smile appear on Even’s face. 

“I swear to god, that kid has the best fucking ass in school,” Even glanced towards Chris at the words, whose eyes were still firmly glued onto Isak’s back, trailing up and down his body as he bit his lip. The knowledge of Chris thinking of Isak like that making Even feel uneasy for some reason. 

“He’s okay,” Even said suddenly, wanting to get Chris’s eyes on him and far away from Isak, luckily the boy had just entered the building anyways, the girl walking in after him and shutting the door.  

Scoffing slightly, Chris turned around and frowned at Even, swinging his arms around as if to say ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’ 

“Are you fucking blind?” Chris said incredulously as he looked towards Adrian with his mouth open, Adrian’s expression just as confused as they both looked back at Even; Chris’s eyebrows raised, apparently shocked at Even’s statement. Even shrugged, not knowing what to say, and knowing fine well he’s lying, he just didn’t know what compelled him to do so, he didn’t know why exactly Chris talking about Isak annoyed him so much. 

“Yeah, you’ve been trying to get the little slut to open his legs for you for weeks and suddenly he’s ‘okay’?” Chris said, his brows furrowed as he looked at Even, the words making Even shift in discomfort and take a puff of the cigarette to calm himself, annoyance filling up his body as he listened to his friend refer to Isak as a slut and talk about him in such a way, something that has never bothered him before with any of the other people they talked about.  

They often discussed the girls, and occasionally guys, in the school, and Even took part in this every time, commenting on their appearance and if he so happened to fuck them, which often was the case, he’d talk about what they’re like in bed, laughing along with the guys and making crude comments. Deep down, he knew it might seem a bit fucked up, talking about people like that, but that didn’t mean he’d stop, or that he had a particularly guilty conscience over it. After all, it’s not like the people would ever know what they say about them. But this time all he wanted was for Chris to shut the fuck up and never mention Isak, or any part of his part of his body for that matter, ever again. 

“He’s a first year, fresh meat, doesn’t really matter if he’s fit or not, I just wanted to fuck him,” Even said as he pulled his sunglasses down from the top of his head, concealling his eyes from the sunlight, and his statement was partially true. He didn’t particularly care deeply about Isak, he wasn’t constantly thinking about the boy, wondering what he was doing, or how he was feeling, it didn’t matter to him, but he did want to fuck him, really fucking bad, and he did think the boy was just about the prettiest little thing he had ever seen. The only reason he felt annoyed at Chris’s comments was because he had fun with Isak, and he didn’t want him to experience that as well. They worked well together, Isak’s soft whines would only get Even to grow even harder than he already was, and all he would focus on was making Isak produce those noises over and over again, and Isak’s mouth around his cock was still something he caught himself thinking about far too often as he jerked himself off in the late hours of the evening, and that was it, that was why he wanted Chris to fuck off. He just wanted to keep that for himself, he didn’t want his friends to sleep with the boy as well. So, maybe he was a bit selfish. 

Snorting, Chris looked at him with his head cocked to the side, a smile pulling on his lips, “Yeah but you never went after someone for that long, did you even fuck him in the end? Or are you still running after him?” 

He opened his mouth to confirm that he has slept with him, twice actually, since every other time he would have done so without hesitation, he would’ve bragged about it and told them he turned the boy into a whimpering mess begging to be fucked, he would’ve told them he bent him over the counter in the bathroom at a party and then went on to fuck someone else later on in the same night, but then a fleeting thought crossed his mind, Isak’s voice telling him, begging him, _‘just please, please don’t tell anyone’_ and suddenly, that’s all he could think about, so he shook his head, pursing his lips as he looked back to Chris, “nah, no point, kid’s a prude, doesn’t wanna do shit.” 

He hoped he sounded convincing, not wanting them to find out the truth, and definitely not wanting them to find out that the boy was a wet dream come true during the times Even got to put his hands and his mouth on him, the mere memory of their times together making his cock stir in his pants. 

“Seriously?” Adrian asked, making Even turn his head to look at him, “you didn’t fuck him?” 

Clicking his tongue, Even looked away and shook his head as he inhaled the smoke once more before extinguishing the cigarette and throwing it in the trash, he crossed his arms against his chest as he looked at them both, smirks on their faces as he raised his eyebrows in question, making them both snort and shake their heads. 

“I bet I can get him to give it up,” Chris said confidently as he straightened up, flashing a cocky smile in Even’s direction, making Even laugh slightly as he shook his head in exasperation. 

The thing is, they would often sleep with the same people and it never bothered any of them, they didn’t care who it was, or if one of their friends had already been inside of the person, but this time Even felt different about it. He knew Chris could be charming when he wanted to be, and he knew that he’d figure out what Isak’s weaknesses were and eventually, he would fuck him. But the image of Chris with Isak made Even inhale deeply to calm himself as he raised his eyebrows in Chris’s direction, trying to act as if he wasn’t getting increasingly more irritated, “probably not man, he’ll just tell you to fuck off. His legs are closed shut.” 

“Nah, he can’t have an ass like that and not let someone fuck it, it’s a waste,” Chris said, making Adrian laugh, Even shaking his head as he snorted, rolling his eyes and looking off to the side, noticing Isak’s friends walking across the school yard and entering the school. He frowned slightly, confused as to how he even knew who Isak’s friends were since usually he paid no mind to random first years, rarely even remembering the names of the people he slept with. Shaking his head, he dispelled his thoughts. 

“Whatever man, go for it then,” Even said as he leaned back once more, sighing slightly, “but he won’t let you do anything.” 

“I’m going for it as well, fuck it,” Adrian said with a smirk making Even laugh, Chris joining him in the laughter. 

“I’m encouraging him cause he might actually have a shot, you don’t.” Even said, Chris barking out a laugh and bumping shoulders with Even as Adrian rolled his eyes, murmuring a soft ‘fuck you’. 

“But I still don’t think you’ll get anywhere with him,” Even said with his brow arched. 

Chris waved him off as he turned to Adrian, “right, let's have a bet. Whoever does something with him first wins, get the kid to give you a handjob, that’s 150 kroner, blowjob is 400 kroner, and fucking him is 1000. Deal?” 

He extended his hand towards Adrian, who was mulling over the offer before he sighed and shook Chris’s hand, both of them looking at Even.  

“You in?” Adrian asked. 

Laughing slightly, Even looked at them both, his eyes shooting from one to the other before he shook his head in disbelief, “you’re both idiots, no I’m not in.” 

“Why not?” Chris smirked at him, “you don’t think you can win?” 

“Are you losing your touch?” Adrian asked as he crossed his arms, “mister ‘I fucked 90% of the people that attend the school’. You know he’s hot as fuck, come on.” 

Looking at them both, he considered the offer, knowing that he already had fucked Isak and knowing that he will do it again eventually, the boy seemingly not being able to say no to him, so he knew he’d get the money without a problem. But something stopped him from accepting. So, he shook his head once again, “nope, not interested.” 

“We get it, you don’t want to lose money, it’s cool,” Adrian said with a cocky smirk as he arched a brow in Even’s direction. 

“Lose to you? Come on man, don’t lie to yourself like that.” Even laughed. 

“Doesn’t matter anyways, cause I’ll have him on his knees in no time,” Chris smirked in both their directions, tilting his chin up in confidence. 

Taking a deep breath, Even looked off to the side as he tried to push the thought of them flirting with Isak, and possibly even getting to touch him and hear those lovely moans of his, to the back end of his mind. 

* * *

Sauntering into the crowded coffee shop, Even shut the heavy door behind him, the bell clinking quietly as he walked up to the counter, shooting a smile towards the tall boy behind it before he ordered a coffee. He took his wallet out of his pocket, and trailed his gaze over the barista’s body before he looked away, taking a glimpse at the selection of pastries displayed next to the counter. 

Looking away, he glanced around the café while he waited for his order to be made, noticing the majority of the tables being taken by groups of people, couples, or solitary adults talking on their phones, but then he noticed the boy he hadn’t encountered in a while, and instantly a smirk fell upon his face as he watched Isak sit in the corner of the room, right next to the window, the sun shining through it and make his golden curls stand out even more as he read from the book open in front of him; his black-rimmed glasses slipping down his nose as he traced the lines written in the book with his finger, he pushed his glasses up and scrunched his nose up, sniffling slightly as he bit his lower lip, Even smiling at the sight; a cup was set in front of him as he propped up his elbow on the table in front of him, the sleeve of his pastel pink sweater covering his hand as he toyed with the edge of it with his fingertips; his curls falling over his forehead as he brought the cup to his mouth, taking a long sip before setting it back down, licking those lips that Even fantasized about far too often. 

“Here you go,” he heard a soft voice in front of him, making him turn and see the barista handing him a cup of coffee, a wide smile on his face as he looked at Even through his lashes, Even reciprocating the smile as he took the money out of his wallet and gave it to him, their fingers meeting for a split second, the boy blushing at the contact. 

“Keep the change,” he said with before he turned around and headed to where Isak was, deciding that fucking with Isak would be much more entertaining than trying to get this guy’s number.  

“Halla,” he said as he loomed over Isak, the boy startling at the sound and looking up swiftly, rolling his eyes the second he saw who it was that was speaking to him, and then he proceeded to carry on with reading his book, purposefully ignoring Even until he seemingly realized that he wouldn’t get rid of him, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“What?” He said through gritted teeth, Even groaning and rolling his eyes at the tone of his voice as he pulled the chair out and sat down on it, spreading his legs and leaning back casually, Isak gaping at him in confusion. 

“Since when do you wear glasses?” He changed the topic as he reached forward and nudged them with his pointer finger, Isak slapping his hand away immediately, an all too familiar frown on his face, the grumpiness of the boy somehow endearing rather than frustrating, making Even smile at him. 

Looking back down Isak sighed as he focused solely on the book in front of him, refusing to make eye contact with Even, “I usually wear contacts, I didn’t have time to put them in today so....Yeah.” 

Humming softly, Even cocked his head to the side and smiled as he watched Isak bite his bottom lip, “Well, they suit you pretty boy.” 

Isak rolled his eyes and huffed, still not looking at Even, but the blush on his cheeks betrayed him and Even knew he was at least a little bit charmed by the comment.  

Reaching forward, he gently traced his fingertips over Isak’s cheek, feeling the warmth beneath them, the boy’s breath hitching at the contact as he glanced up at Even, his eyes wide, his long eyelashes fluttering slightly, “that suits you even better, baby.” He said as he removed his hand, Isak’s skin reddening even further, which Even previously thought was impossible. 

“Ugh shut up, “ Isak lifted his book up as he looked back down at it while leaning forward as Even grinned at him, taking a sip of the coffee in front of him and setting it back down. 

“So, why don’t you pack up and we can go back to my place?” Even cocked his eyebrow as Isak looked up at him, his mouth dropping open at the suggestion, and subsequently drawing Even’s attention to it straight away before he forced himself to look up into Isak’s wide green eyes, he smirked as he raised his eyebrows up in question. 

“No, oh my god,” Isak hissed, taking a sip of his drink and looking off to the side, his blush now reaching the tips of his ears. 

“Why not?”  

“Cause I don’t want to,” Isak said, his voice wavering at the end, not sounding very convincing at all. 

Humming softly, Even leaned forward, his legs stretching out in front of him and grazing Isak’s, the boy pulling his legs away from him and shuffling back, putting his sweater covered hands down on his lap as Even rested his chin on his hand, his elbow placed on the smooth table, “Okay, you have three options here, I can leave you alone and then send you some dick pics later on and you can jerk off over that all by yourself,” Isak opened his mouth to defend himself, his blush deepening, but Even placed a finger on his soft lips, shutting him up before he moved it away, ”I’m not finished, or we could go to the toilets and I can suck you off and you can come in my mouth, slightly more interesting to be honest, and the third, and honestly the best, option is that you come with me and I fuck you for hours until you can’t walk and you’re reminded of me with every little move you make.” He finished with a smirk, Isak’s mouth opening and closing as if he couldn’t decide what to say, his eyes darting around the small cafe to see if anyone heard what Even had said, before his eyes finally settled on Even. 

“So, what’s it gonna be?” Even asked with a cocky smirk on his face as he kept his gaze on Isak. 

Rolling his eyes, Isak rubbed a hand against one of his pink cheeks, presumably to try to get rid of the seemingly permanent blush placed upon his lovely face, but to no avail. He seemed to give up as he placed both hands on the table, pulling his sweater down even further, covering his hands completely. 

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” Isak said confidently after taking a deep breath, his brows furrowed as he locked eyes with Even, his gaze unwavering. 

Clicking his tongue, Even grabbed his cup and leaned forward, getting ready to leave, “sad, lonely wank? Really Isak? Okay your choice, expect the photos later though.” He said with a disappointed voice before pushing himself off of the chair, Isak spluttering something incomprehensible out. 

Leaning forward, he placed a hand on the table as he bent down, his lips close to Isak’s ear, touching the skin softly, goosebumps raising on Isak’s skin as his body tensed, his breathing growing heavier in anticipation, “call me later sweetheart, I’ll help you make yourself feel good.” 

He moved away, smirking at a shocked Isak as he walked away, opening the door to the café and glancing back one last time, noticing that Isak was still looking at him. He winked at him as he exited the shop, the cold air hitting his face a harsh difference from the warmth of Isak’s company.

* * *

Turning the shower knob, the water stopped running while Even ran a hand over his face, wiping the water off of it as he opened the shower door, quickly grabbing the towel from the shelf and wrapping it low around his waist before he got out of the shower, shivering slightly at the coldness of the room. 

Stepping in front of the mirror placed on the wall above the sink, he wiped the fog off of it with his palm, looking up at his reflection, his cheeks and chest flushed from the hot shower, his nipples hard from the cooler air hitting them, strands of his wet hair falling in front of his face.  

He went to grab his phone off of the counter, taking one last look at himself before he remembered his promise to Isak. With a smirk, he quickly searched through the hordes of messages on it and opened his rather short, and more often than not one sided, conversation with Isak. 

Taking one quick look at himself, he pushed his hair back from his face, pulling the towel even lower than it already was, displaying the inviting line of muscles leading to his cock, which he gripped loosely with his hand, showing off the impressive outline of it through the cloth covering it. He moved a bit, trying to find a perfect angle which showed off his body, his mouth pulled up in a smirk once he looked at his phone. He took a quick photo, taking one last look at it before sending it to Isak with an accompanying message. 

**Isak**

_I can send you the address pretty boy_

Placing his phone down, he took the towel off, lazily drying his body before he used it to ruffle his hair, throwing it into the hamper when he was finished. 

He grabbed his clothes from the counter, quickly pulling his sweatpants on, not bothering to put boxers on, his large T-shirt hanging low down his body and lightly sticking to his damp chest. 

He took his phone and left the bathroom, heading towards his room and already thinking of what he should watch to pass the time until he was able to fall asleep. 

He threw himself onto the large bed, his phone in his hand as he bounced on the soft mattress before he started moving the pillows back, leaning against the wall and getting comfortable. 

The phone buzzed where he held it tightly as he leaned down over the side of his bed, reaching for the laptop placed on the floor, he looked back as he gripped the item he was searching for and read the notification, a message from Isak. 

Placing his laptop on the bed, he unlocked his phone and opened the conversation. 

_No thank you_

Rolling his eyes, he huffed in exasperation at the stubbornness of the boy, and decided to just keep fucking with him for a little bit. 

_Took you a while to respond, I know you’re touching yourself love, it’s okay, let me know if I can help._

Opening his laptop, he turned Netflix on, his phone laying on his thigh as he looked through his options. 

He felt a small vibration and he looked at the message, a smirk pulling on his lips as he read the late reply, knowing fine well what was happening on the other side. 

_Shut up_

_So, you are then?_

_What?_

_Jerking off?_

He saw the typing dots show up and disappear several times before he rolled his eyes, tired of waiting for an answer he pressed call, the ringing was heard for several seconds before Isak finally answered. 

“Hello?” He heard a small, yet confused, voice in his ear, an involuntary smile pulling on his lips at the sound. 

“You were taking too long and I already know what you’re doing, might as well do it with you,” He was already moving the pillows, laying down on them and getting comfortable as he heard Isak splutter, and Even knew fine well there was a blush placed on the boy’s cheeks at this point. 

“I-I’m not. I’m not doing anything, what the fuck?” Isak stuttered out in a breathy voice. 

Sighing at the obvious lie, Even softly gripped his cock, “come on baby, be honest with me. It’s not that hard to say, I’m doing it right now as well.” 

A few seconds of silence passed, Isak’s heavy breathing heard through the receiver, “you are?” He spoke quietly. 

“Yeah baby, so why don’t you tell me what you were doing and then I can help you, that sound good?” He quickly put his phone on loud speaker, turning the volume up and setting it down on his bed as he threw his T-shirt off, throwing it to the side before pushing his sweatpants down and taking them off completely, rushing to lay back down and place his phone on his naked chest, not wanting to miss out on the sounds he knew Isak would eventually be making. 

“I-I was touching myself,” Isak whispered softly, and Even could hear the slight embarrassment in his voice, but he knew that would soon disappear and pleasure would overtake him. Even’s cock grew hard at the mere thought of Isak doing such a thing, he quickly thought of going on FaceTime, wanting to see what Isak was doing, but dispelled the thought, Isak already seeming nervous about this alone, and the last thing he wanted to do was scare the boy off. 

“Yeah? Were you fingering yourself baby?” Even said as he gripped his half hard cock, long languid pulls as he listened to Isak pant, but there was no response. “It’s okay, you can say it baby, just tell me what you were doing.” Even reassured him, not wanting him to feel ashamed. 

“No, I wasn’t there yet, I was just playing with myself,” Isak finally responded quietly, his breathing getting increasingly heavier with each second that passed by. 

“Okay angel, just touching your dick?” Even panted out, closing his eyes shut and trying to picture Isak, summoning images of the first time he had fucked him, images of Isak splayed out on his bed, his dick laying hard against his stomach, pre-cum steadily leaking out of it as Even fingered him until tears pooled in his eyes. 

“Y-Yes,” Isak said, Even’s fist gripping tighter at the thought. 

“Are you still jerking off?” Even asked, only thinking about Isak feeling good, not caring about anything else. 

“Yeah, I am,” he heard a small whimper, making him inhale deeply at the lovely sound. 

“Good, don’t stop baby, make yourself feel good for me, okay?” He swiftly opened the drawer next to his bed, grabbing the lube he had there and uncapping it, pouring some onto his palm instantly, quickly slathering it all over his cock, groaning slightly at the feeling of his slick hand on his dick. 

“Even, fuck,” He heard a soft moan, followed by a high-pitched whine as he heard a squelching sound which he knew was a lubed-up hand moving over a hard cock. 

“That’s it, keep going Isak, faster sweetheart,” he groaned out as heard shuffling, small moans emitting from the speaker while he stroked his fully hard cock, his hand occasionally trailing down and massaging his balls, tugging on them before he brought his hand back up to his erection. 

“Even?” Isak asked breathily. 

“Yes angel?”  

“Can I- can I finger myself, please?” Isak stuttered out, Even groaning at the question, his cock twitching at the fact that Isak asked for permission to do such a thing.

“I don’t know baby, have you been a good boy?” He asked with a smirk, his hand still moving slowly, noticing that the sounds suddenly stopped on Isak’s end. 

“W-What?” Isak panted out in shock. 

“Do you think you deserve it?” Even asked sternly once more. 

Heavy breathing was heard as Isak thought about what to say, the sound of him touching his dick heard once again, until eventually Even heard a small ‘yes.’ 

“You sure?” Even asked as he slid his lubed-up palm over the sensitive head before pulling his hand back down, his toes curling at the feeling. 

“Yes, please Even, I’ve been so good, please let me,” Isak panted out finally, Even gripping his cock tightly at the sound of Isak begging, the memory of which will forever be engrained into his mind. 

“Yes, you have, go on sweetheart,” Even responded, the shuffling and moving of objects heard from the other side indicating that Isak was already frantically searching for the lube. 

“One finger darling, go on,” he said as he heard Isak uncap the bottle. 

He waited for a few seconds until he knew Isak was ready, his hand continuously moving in slow, yet firm, pulls, he glanced down and saw a drop of pre-cum beading at the tip. His thumb swiping over it immediately before he dragged his hand down. 

“Just relax sweetheart, go slowly,” he told Isak softly as the boy’s breathing intensified before he heard his breath hitch, ”that’s it angel, stick it in.” 

Isak moaned softly as Even reassured him, tapering off into small whines until he exhaled, “fuck, Even.” 

“There we go, can you move it baby?” 

A high-pitched whine was heard, “y-yeah, fuck.” 

“Good boy, make yourself feel good, push it in deeper until you find it, darling.” 

He listened to Isak moan quietly while stroking his cock, twisting his wrist when reaching the tip as he reached up with his hand, twisting and pinching his nipples, making himself groan and throw his head back onto the soft pillow, and then he heard a loud moan and he knew Isak had found his prostate. 

“Even, oh my god,” Isak moaned out, the sounds making Even groan as he moved his hand faster. 

“Fuck Isak, the things I’d do to you if I was there,” Even panted as he kept up with the movements, ”I want to taste you so fucking bad, you tasted so sweet when I ate you out, you liked it the last time, didn’t you? You liked being spread out in front of me, letting me lick your tight little ass, huh?” 

“Yes, fuck yes,” Isak whimpered in response. 

“Put another one in baby, whenever you’re ready, don’t hurt yourself.” 

Isak mewled softly, the sound music to Even’s ears as he bit his lip to contain a moan, wanting nothing to disrupt the sounds Isak was making. 

“Go harder baby, just imagine that I’m fucking you sweetheart.” 

He started moving his hand faster, he tightened his grip around his cock as he slid his thumb over the head before he trailed it down, putting pressure on the underside of the tip, imagining it was Isak’s smart little tongue, remembering the first time they had sex, when Isak shyly asked if he could suck his cock and Even had to constrain himself right then and there not to cum at that very moment. And then, the sight of that gorgeous Cupid’s Bow stretched over his thick cock was something that brought him ridiculously close to the edge the second he looked down at the boy bobbing his head up and down; those long dark lashes covered in tears as the boy looked up at him, a barely visible green ring surrounding his dilated pupils as he gagged on Even’s cock and kept pushing as he struggled to relax his throat, apparently determined to make Even cum as soon as possible. 

“Even, I need more, please, please, it’s not enough,” Isak pleaded desperately. 

“One more angel, come on.” He heard Isak’s breath hitch before he released a loud moan, Even groaned, knowing that Isak had done as he was told. 

“Oh god, I need you Even,” Isak whimpered, gasping as he kept fingering himself, the sounds of his movements filling Even’s ears, bringing him closer to the edge. 

“Fuck Isak, just think about me fucking you. God baby, I want to get inside you so bad, feel you around my cock, make you cum just from fucking you,” Isak whimpered at the words, “Yeah baby? You want that? You want me to fuck you hard and deep until you can’t take it anymore and you cum all over yourself?” 

“God Even, yes, feels so good,” he heard rapid gasps as Isak got closer to his climax, pleasure building in both of them, the atmosphere in his room growing thicker. 

“Come on angel, make yourself cum,” Even moved his hand faster, using the other one to grab his balls, massaging them as he kept jerking himself off, panting at the overwhelming feeling. 

“Ev-fuck,” Isak stuttered out before moaning louder than before, and Even knew he was coming. 

He groaned as he came to the sound of Isak’s loud moans, his eyes closing shut as he spurted hot liquid all over his stomach, some of it dripping down his knuckles as he felt his cock twitch in his hand while images of Isak’s blissed out expression flashed behind his eyelids, he remembered his head tipping back in ecstasy and his lips open, revealing his slightly parted teeth, his cheeks flushed and more often than not covered in tracks of tears he couldn’t contain, his body so sensitive that he could easily get overwhelmed with every little touch. 

They both stayed silent for a few moments, their breathing heavy as they panted and tried to calm themselves as they came down from their peaks. 

Even inhaled deeply before speaking, “are you okay?”  

“Yeah, yeah I’m good.” Isak panted out as Even reached for the tissues placed on his nightstand, wiping the cum off of his stomach before he threw the paper into the trash. 

“Good.” Even said with a smile, Isak humming softly in response. 

A few seconds passed by in silence, Even breaking it with a question, “So, let me guess? ‘Oh Even, I hate you so much, this is never going to happen again, you’re just so horrible.’ Is that what you want to say now?” 

Isak snorted at the impression, a small giggle escaping him afterwards, making Even smile at just how adorable this boy was.  

“Look, just don’t tell anyone about this,” Isak said quietly once more, repeating the same sentiment he had said every other time. 

“Don’t worry pretty boy, I’ll keep my mouth shut,” he sighed as Isak whispered a small ‘thank you’, Even smiling in response. 

“Does that mean you’ll stop being a stubborn little shit and you’re admitting to yourself that us having sex is a thing now?” Even asked with a smirk as Isak groaned. 

“Yeah, I guess,” Isak responded, and Even could just imagine the eyeroll that accompanied it. 

“So, friends with benefits?” Even grinned as he put his arm behind his head. 

Isak snorted softly, “we’re not friends.” 

Rolling his eyes, Even sighed, “Okay, acquaintances with benefits, that better for you?” 

“Yeah, whatever.” Isak said with a small laugh before he quieted down.  

“Sleep well Isak,” Even whispered after a short while. 

“You too, Even,” Isak said quietly, Even smiling as the call ended. 

He set his phone on the nightstand with a sigh, rubbing a hand over his sweaty face while reaching for his sweatpants off the floor and pulling them on without getting off the bed, not bothering with a T-Shirt as he reached for the laptop once again, opening it and setting it on his lap, Netflix still opened.  

As he looked through his options, trying to decide what to do now that Isak was gone, he noticed there was still a smile stuck on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii, thank you for reading this chapter, I hope you liked it!  
> If you want to leave any comments, go for it, I tend to reply to all of them and I love talking to you guys!
> 
> If you have any questions about this fic, or if you have any prompts you'd like me to write about seperately OR even include in this fic, let me know on my Tumblr:  isaksforelsket 
> 
> And if you want to listen to me bitch about writing, or anything else, head over to my Twitter: vandervaltersen


	3. numbers and figures

“Isak, fuck,” Jonas snapped his fingers in front of Isak's face, bringing him back to the tired and quite depressing reality of being in the school cafeteria when you haven’t slept for more than 4 hours the last night.

“What?” He said to Jonas, far too exhausted to even try to make any sort of snarky remark as he glared at him with a blank stare.

Rolling his eyes, Jonas looked at him with a face that some might think of as an expression of annoyance, but Isak could see the flickers of concern cross his features. He, better than anyone, could see the softness of Jonas' eyes, pleading for Isak to be honest, to talk to him and confide in him about whatever it was that was troubling him. And he knew that Mahdi and Magnus wouldn’t be able to recognize or understand why Jonas thought Isak spacing out was a reason for worry. As good of friends as they were, they didn’t know of Isak’s troubles with sleeping, and Isak assumed they had thought he was tired because he willingly stayed up late, not because he was tossing and turning for hours until he finally gave up and gotten up as he approached the verge of frustrated tears.   

“We asked if you wanted to go to the party this weekend,” Mahdi filled him in, reminding him of the topic at hand with a soft smile on his face, somehow still managing to be kind to him even though Isak was clearly not paying any attention to them. 

The images of flashing lights, drunken teenagers in a small room all crowded together, the stench of alcohol and cigarettes filling the house, and the horrific hangover that was sure to follow it all, went through Isak’s mind, the idea rather unappealing as he struggled to keep his eyes open, making him scrunch up his nose in distaste as he shook his head.

“No man, I’m not going,” he said, Jonas nodding in understanding, and most likely approval judging by the extensive concern he’s been displaying, happy that Isak would try and get back on track and take care of himself.

“No problem, bro,” Mahdi spoke as he nodded with a smile, his face a picture of understanding, something Isak greatly appreciated in the boy. No matter what, he always seemed to know when to back off, when to leave someone be, when they needed some space, and right now Isak was more than thankful at that quality in him as he smiled at him in gratefulness.

Isak took a small bite of the bagel in front of him, his appetite nonexistent but he forced himself to chew, when he heard a laugh and a rather loud conversation from the group just entering the room, the door slamming shut behind them and making Isak look up towards them. A group of guys from The Penetrators entered, Even at the centre of attention as he laughed alongside them. He lifted his gaze, his laughter subsiding and a smirk appearing on his face as he met Isak’s gaze. Winking at him, Even turned back towards his friends, carrying on with the conversation as Isak felt a blush appear on his cheeks, but then he noticed something. One of the guys, who he was sure was called Chris, elbowing the black-haired boy next to him, gesturing his head towards Isak, smiles spreading on both their faces as they looked away from him.    

“Even will be there though,” Magnus said suddenly, Isak looking away from the group, the frown which was still on his face deepening as he realized what Magnus had said. He shrugged in what he prayed was casual disinterest and not at all concern at the remark as he swallowed his food.   

“Okay,” He chuckled in what the boys must’ve thought was confusion, but was really growing nervousness, "what does that have anything to do with me?”   

“I don’t know, maybe getting some dick will calm you down a bit,” Magnus said as he took a sip of coke from his bottle, the other two boys laughing slightly as they kept eating.   

“Maybe you should get fucked then,” Isak quipped back quickly, Magnus shoving his shoulder lightly as the boys snorted before changing the topic, Isak groaning as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.  

Taking it out, he unlocked it as he frowned, the message he had received on Instagram making confusion fill his mind.  

** @chrisschistad   **

_ heyyy, just wanted to invite you to the party we're throwing this weekend  _ 😘  __

_ you can bring your friends if you want   _

Isak frowned and shook his head as he re-read the messages, not understanding what was going on. He typed quickly, responding to him straight away.  

_ Hei, no thanks, I won't be able to make it. Sorry.   _

_ Aw that's a shame, would've loved to see you there x   _

Isak's jaw dropped open slightly as he locked his phone, putting it back in his pocket and wondering what the fuck just happened.   

* * *

“What about him?” Eskild rolled over onto his back from where he was laying on Isak’s bed, casually swiping through Grindr for the past half hour when he barged in, saying that he was lonely in the living room and promptly threw himself right next to Isak, both of them enjoying the silence, and just like he was doing now, Eskild would occasionally break the quiet it to ask his opinion on some random guy. He shoved his phone in Isak’s face, thoroughly distracting him from his laptop screen as he turned his attention towards Eskild.   

He looked at the phone, frowning as he examined a photo only showing a chiselled torso, cutting off right above the man’s collarbones. There was slight dark hair on his muscular chest, and some right below his navel, a trail of it leading right down to the waistband of his dark jeans, the man showing off his rather impressive abs, obviously flexing for the photo.   

“Hot, go for it,” He said as he nodded in approval before looking back to his laptop, Eskild moving his phone away and starting to type straight away after quipping a high pitched 'thank you' in his direction, presumably to message the man and arrange to meet up with him, as he usually did with anyone he talked to on the app.   

He scrolled through his Facebook feed, the content of it rather unentertaining as he knew all of his friends were probably getting ready for the party, mindlessly drinking bottles of beer and having fun, but then he caught sight of a picture of Eva and her mom, both of them smiling in the photo, the happiness somehow making Isak’s heart clench as he glanced to the side, looking at his phone, the erratic messages from his own mother piling up and remaining unanswered, the guilt wrapping itself around Isak’s mind and not letting go. He shook his head slightly, leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes shut, trying to get rid of the thoughts of his family that plagued his mind.   

Looking off to the side, he stared at his phone laying on his bed. He bit his lip as he glanced back to Eskild, remembering that his bank account was very much so empty, and he still had not paid his rent.   

He rubbed a hand over his face and sighed as he grabbed his phone, quickly unlocking it and opening the messages, searching through them until he reached the ones with his father, the conversation making Isak feel rather uneasy, the blunt answers from his own family pulling on his heartstrings and making him take in a deep breath.   

His thumb hovered over the keyboard as he contemplated what to say, nervous in a way he knew was irrational. He glanced at Eskild, and he knew. He knew Eskild would ask him for the rent money soon, and he knew he’d have to say he doesn’t have it, and Eskild would call him a ‘lazy boy that does nothing all the time’ but then pay it for Isak without saying a thing because that’s what family does.    

Looking back to his phone, his heart started racing as he typed, anxiety filling his body when he finished the message and reread it multiple times, making sure that there were no mistakes in it.    

Shutting his eyes, Isak pressed send.    

** Pappa    **

_ Hey dad, how are you? I don’t have any money for the rent or food, so could you please send me some for this month? Thank you.    _

Locking his phone, he threw it to the side and went back to his laptop, trying to distract himself and get his breathing under control as he waited for an answer.   

“Okay, he replied, I’m heading out,” Eskild said suddenly, making Isak jump slightly in surprise as he stood from the bed, walking out of the room quickly, still looking at his phone.   

“Have fun,” Isak shouted after him.   

“I always do,” Eskild responded before Isak heard the door to the bathroom open and shut.   

His phone buzzed on his side, making his heart race once again, thinking that his dad must’ve replied already.   

He quickly opened it, but the notification left him disappointed. And suddenly, the feeling of guilt returned. He scoffed at his reaction, knowing he had no right to feel bad. He wasn’t replying to his mother, so why was he upset his dad was doing the same thing to him? No matter how much he wanted his attention, how much he wanted him to act as if he cared,  Isak no right to be upset. After all, they are both the same.   

He shook his head slightly and took in a shaky breath, opening the message he had received while rubbing his eyes with his hand, trying to get rid of the tears that had nearly fallen.   

Looking down, he read the message.   

** EBN    **

_ Are you coming to the party tonight?    _

Isak sighed as he typed.   

_ No.    _

_ What am I supposed to do now   _ 🙁  __

_ What’s the point?    _

Isak snorted lightly at the dramatics of the boy, somehow his mind trailing away from the thoughts of the message that had gotten ignored.  

_ Literally none of my concern    _

_ You keep breaking my heart  Isak     _

Isak huffed out a laugh as he started typing, a small smile pulling on the corners of his lips.   __

_ As if you had one to begin with    _

_ Ouch, absolutely ruthless    _

_ But you should come to the party, I’ll make it worth your while    _

_ No thanks, I’m sure you can find someone else to annoy    _

_ Ugh, okay fine. I’ll find another twink to fuck    _

Isak rolled his eyes and groaned as he locked his phone, throwing it to the side and leaning back against the wall, deciding to waste his time watching a movie until inevitably he had to force himself to go to bed.   

* * *

His eyes were red, his eyelids drooping as he shut his laptop, placing it on one of the nightstands before he stretched on the bed, his joints cracking from being in one position for far too long. He looked towards the window, the moon illuminating his room slightly in the late hours of the night. He looked at his phone to check the time, just a little bit past midnight. He looked up at the ceiling, reluctant to get under the covers and close his eyes as he already knew he would only spend several hours tossing and turning until he fell asleep, and only spend a few precious hours in the peaceful state.   

He yawned as he lifted himself from the bed, needing to get a drink. He dragged himself to the kitchen with slow steps, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips and his white T-shirt crumpled up slightly as he filled his glass up with water and drank it hastily. When suddenly, he heard someone knock on the door.   

With a frown, he set the glass down on the counter, walking over to the door and rolling his eyes when he heard the knock once more.   

Rubbing his eyes with a closed fist, Isak stifled a yawn as he gripped the doorknob.   

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Isak groaned the second he opened the door to see Even standing there, his hands in the pockets of his denim jacket, his hair slicked back and his lips pulled up in a grin as he rolled his eyes at the hostile welcome.   

“Really? Not even a kiss hello?” Even reached forward, softly grazing his knuckles against Isak’s cheek as Isak’s frown deepened and he batted his hand away, Even chuckling at the reaction as he put his hand back in his pocket.   

“Seriously, what are you doing here?” Isak repeated once more as he crossed his arms, standing in the way and not allowing Even to come through as the older boy leaned against the doorway.   

“God you’re annoying,” Even rolled his eyes in amusement, “I didn’t like anyone at the party and I wanted to fuck, and then I remembered your ass is available so instead of going home and jerking off, I’ve decided to come here.”   

Isak’s mouth dropped open at the bluntness as a blush covered his cheeks before he spluttered out, “what the fuck Even?”   

A smirk pulled on Even’s lips as he stepped forward, Isak  tilting his head up to look at him, his cheeks still burning red, “come on sweetheart,” Even lifted his hand up, gently gripping Isak’s chin, his thumb running over Isak’s bottom lip as he moved closer to him until their lips were mere inches apart, “I want to taste you again.”   

Flicking his tongue out,  Isak swiped it over the pad of Even’s finger, Even’s gaze zeroing in on the action and a smirk appearing on his face, and then Isak took a deep breath before grabbing a fistful of the front of Even’s shirt. He pulled Even down, closing the distance between them as Even pushed him back, their lips connecting in a firm kiss, Isak’s mouth opening and allowing Even’s tongue to enter. Taking a step forward, Even shut the door with his foot before he toed his shoes off, throwing the jacket on the hook straight after, his arm wrapping around Isak’s slim waist and pulling him closer as the other gripped a fistful of his curls, pulling on them gently, making Isak whimper into the kiss, Even inhaling sharply at the sound.   

Their tongues moved against each other as Even coaxed whimpers out of Isak, pushing towards the door of his room, his arm a steady anchor against Isak until he slammed Isak’s body against the door, the smaller boy moaning at the contact, his back arching as he wrapped his arms around Even’s neck.  

Even quickly opened the door, both of them stumbling through it, Isak chuckling into the kiss as Even smiled and closed the door behind him before he kept moving towards the bed until Isak fell on it, Even climbing on top of him, laying between Isak’s legs, their lips still connected.   

“Ev, fuck,” Isak moaned into the kiss as Even ground down onto his increasingly hardening dick, their erections pressing against each other and making Isak’s head feel dizzy as Even gently nipped his bottom lip.    

“You clean?” Even panted out as he moved away, swooping down immediately and pressing kisses down Isak’s jawline before he sucked on the sensitive skin of his neck.   

Nodding his head frantically, Isak moved his hands down, already lifting his hips as he pushed his thumbs in the waistband of his sweatpants, wanting to get naked and feel Even’s skin against his as soon as possible.   

Huffing out a laugh, Even lifted his head up before he got up from the bed, throwing his shirt off over his head and quickly unbuttoning his jeans, his eyes focused on  Isak  pulling his sweatpants and boxers off at once, before sitting up and throwing his T-shirt onto the floor, a smirk spreading on Even’s face as  Isak’s  naked body came into view.   

Isak  looked up from where he was sprawled on the bed, taking in the long lines of Even’s body; his shoulders broad and strong; the blonde strands of his hair sticking out all over the place from where Isak ran his hands through it, some of them hanging down his forehead; his cock big and hard, pre-cum already leaking from the slit and Isak whimpered quietly at the thought of tasting it, making Even’s eyes shoot towards him as he stepped out of his boxers, a smirk on his face once he got on the bed, leaning over Isak, holding himself up on his forearms on either side of Isak’s head and kissing him once more.   

Even lifted himself up, running his eyes over Isak’s body, much like Isak had done to him, and it made a blush rise on  Isak’s cheeks from how exposed he felt, his legs pressing together slightly as Even's hand gently trailed down his waist, smoothly running down each rib, every bit of pale skin, until he put it on Isak’s inner thigh, pushing his legs further apart, making them fall open and Isak whimper softly at the cool air hitting his ass.   

“Fuck,” Even groaned, his eyes quickly flitting over  Isak’s  body, as if he couldn’t decide where to look, “You’re so fucking gorgeous, angel.” He pressed their lips together in a bruising kiss, putting his hand on Isak’s cheek and pulling on it, making the younger boy open his mouth and allowing him to taste the moans and whimpers emitting from him.  

“Please, Even,” Isak said into the kiss as Even trailed light touches on his inner thigh, “I need you.”   

With a groan, Even pushed himself off of Isak, laying down onto his back as Isak whimpered, the absence of Even’s body on top of his making him increasingly more desperate.   

“Come here,” Even patted his chest as he got comfortable, a pillow placed under his head as he waited for Isak to move.   

Rolling over hastily, Isak rushed towards him, about to put his knees on either side of Even when the older boy stopped him, his hand coming up and holding him up by his waist. Isak frowned in confusion as Even reached around, patting his ass gently, and gesturing with his head, “other way baby.”   

His breathing quickening, Isak turned around, carefully straddling Even’s chest, his ass inches away from Even’s face as the older boy wrapped his arms around his legs, his fingertips gently grazing the insides of his thighs, making goosebumps rise on his skin as Even tenderly ghosted his lips over the globes of his ass, until Even pressed his lips against the skin, slowly moving towards where Isak wanted him the most. Isak panted as he waited for Even to do something, anything, but just as Even’s lips reached his crack, he nipped the skin of his cheek softly and moved away, Isak jumping slightly at the feeling before he whined, grinding back against Even’s face.   

A sharp slap was delivered to his right cheek, a yelp emitting from his mouth as he clenched his eyes shut at the stinging feeling radiating all over his ass, his cock twitching at the sensation as Even gripped his cheek firmly before releasing it, rubbing a smooth sure palm over it, “stay fucking still, be patient pretty boy.”   

Isak took a deep breath, steadying himself and arching his back as he leaned forward, holding himself up on both hands as he tried to calm down, bring himself back down to earth and do as he’s told.   

“Good boy, Isak,” Even stroked one hand over Isak’s back before running it back down to his ass.   

"Let me look at you, baby,” he gripped one of  Isak’s cheeks and pulled it to the side, revealing  Isak’s most private parts, a whimper escaping his lips as he flushed in embarrassment.   

“Shh, it’s okay angel, don’t be embarrassed. You’re so fucking pretty,” he traced the edge of Isak’s rim with his thumb, more of a tease than anything else, but Isak stayed still, wanting to be good for Even, “so tight baby, god.”   

And suddenly, Isak felt Even licking over his guiche with a wide wet stroke until he reached his hole, applying small kitten licks over it, Isak’s arms shaking where he was holding himself up as he moaned loudly, “fuck, Even.”   

Even groaned in return, the vibrations on his rim making  Isak’s arms collapse, now holding himself up on his forearms, his forehead leaning on Even’s thigh as he clenched his eyes shut, his mouth wide open as he panted in pleasure.   

Isak opened his eyes as he moaned when Even prodded his tongue inside of him before flicking it against his rim, all the while moaning as if he was enjoying the taste of Isak almost as much as Isak was enjoying the firm grip Even had on his ass and the wet pressure on his hole.   

As his eyes fluttered open, he saw Even’s cock laying against his stomach, so fucking hard, the head of it red and leaking pre-cum, twitching every time Isak released a whimper, and Isak couldn’t resist.   

He wrapped his small hand around the base of it, Even groaning at the feeling and pulling Isak closer by his thighs, shoving his face deeper between his cheeks.   

Isak leaned forward, slowly dragging his tongue from the base all the way to the tip, swiping his tongue over it and moaning at the salty taste exploding on his taste buds.   

Isak lowered his head, wrapping his lips tightly around Even’s dick and setting a slow pace as he moaned at both the weight of Even’s cock in his mouth, and Even’s tongue prodding at his hole, Even's teeth occasionally nibbling on his rim before he soothed it with his tongue, placing gentle kisses on it.   

Relaxing his throat, Isak pushed down, gagging as Even's cock went too far, he breathed through his nose, little puffs of air hitting Even's skin as Isak swallowed around him, Even groaning at the feeling which turned into a moan as Isak finally reached the end, his nose lightly pressed up against Even's balls as he moaned when Even stuck his tongue deeper inside of him, licking his walls, Isak moaning and whimpering at every move he made.   

“Fuck baby, you taste so good,” Even pulled back, his hand leaving Isak’s ass as he opened the drawer. Isak pulled off of his cock, panting heavily, strands of spit connecting from his lips to the tip of Even’s dick, but he didn’t care, getting right back to it as he heard Even uncap a bottle of lube he must’ve found in the drawer.   

Bobbing his head up and down, his pace faltered as he felt two lubed up fingers stroke over his hole, making him grind back, desperate for something to fill him up and make him scream.   

“So desperate sweetheart,” Even groaned as Isak swiped his tongue over the head, Even’s finger slipping into Isak’s hole and making Isak moan in relief.    

“Such a pretty hole, god you’re so beautiful, I want to destroy you.” Even ran his mouth as he worked his finger deeper inside of Isak until it was fully in, Isak’s thighs shaking as he tried not to grind back and just focus on the cock in his mouth.    

He angled his finger, Isak jolting as his fingertip came in contact with his prostate and Even kept firm pressure on it, moving his finger in circles as he licked around it, licking Isak’s rim before moving his head away, moving down and sucking Isak’s balls into his mouth. Moaning at the feeling, Isak moved his head up and down, desperate to make Even feel good, desperate to destroy him the same way he was destroying Isak.   

Isak moved his hand, gripping Even’s cock and stroking what he couldn’t reach with his mouth, he twisted his wrist as he slid his tongue against the underside of the head, Even groaning as he stuck another finger in Isak’s ass, Isak clenching tightly around them as he whimpered.   

“Relax baby,” Even said while he stroked a hand over Isak’s  arched back, Isak calming at the touch and allowing Even to push further inside of him, hitting his spot straight away, Even’s cock slipping out of Isak’s mouth as he moaned loudly, his ass grinding back, needing more.   

“Does that feel good angel?” Even said as he flicked his tongue where his fingers were stretching Isak out, sticking it in alongside his fingers occasionally.   

“Mhm,” Isak moaned out, unable to get his words out.    

Lifting himself back up, he gripped Even’s cock once more, wrapping his lips around it and hollowing his cheeks out as he sucked, moving his head up and down.   

Suddenly, he felt Even grip his dick in a firm hold, moving his hand up and down, jerking him off as he kept licking around his fingers, still applying firm pressure on his prostate, making Isak moan loudly and arch his back even further as he sucked harder.   

“Fuck, such a good boy Isak, sucking my cock so well,” Even groaned out, his hips tilting upwards slightly, making  Isak gag, his movements speeding up, Even's fingers still rubbing his spot, his hand moving quickly over Isak's dick, his tongue soothing the edge of his hole, Isak's entire body shaking from all the sensations he was experiencing.   

His thighs were trembling, his hair bouncing slightly as he bobbed his head up and down, a light sheen of sweat covering his back as Even kept up his ministrations.   

“Are you gonna come sweetheart?”    

Isak hummed in confirmation as he twisted his wrist, his jaw aching from the massive cock inside of his mouth, but he didn’t care, all he wanted was to make Even come.   

“Me too baby, come on,” He started moving his fingers as he spoke, thrusting them in and out and hitting Isak’s spot every time, Isak moaning and whimpering non-stop, sending delicious vibrations all over Even’s dick, “come for me.”   

With a light squeeze around Isak’s  dick, and his fingers firmly pressing into his prostate, Isak’s  body shuddered, pleasure taking over every single one of his cells, come spilling out of his dick and all over himself and Even’s chest, and suddenly, he felt Even’s cock twitch in his mouth, a loud groan emitting from the older boy as he came in Isak’s mouth, shooting down his throat. Swallowing every drop as Isak came down from his high, he whined from the overstimulation, Even cooing at him as he slowly pulled his fingers out, gently kissing his hole one more time as Isak swiped his tongue over the head of Even’s cock, making sure he had gotten all of it before he moved his head away. He sighed as Even nudged his side, Isak taking the hint and flopping down onto his back, panting wildly from exhaustion.   

Isak watched as Even reached for the tissues on the nightstand, gently moving Isak’s legs and cleaning him up first, wiping the lube and come off of him before doing the same to himself, hastily throwing the paper into the trash.   

Even leaned towards him, brushing his hair away from his face and stroking his cheek gently, Isak sighing at the contact and leaning his head towards his hand.   

Moving so that he was leaning over him, Even smiled before placing a delicate kiss on Isak’s lips, Isak humming softly and putting his hand on Even’s neck.   

Even pecked his lips one more time before lifting up slightly, holding himself up on his forearms, “are you okay?” He asked quietly.   

Isak nodded before lifting his hand up, covering his mouth as he yawned, Even chuckling softly at the sight.   

“Come on,” He sat up, gently gripping Isak’s arm, “let’s get you to bed.”   

Isak smiled as Even manoeuvred him around, shuffling as Even drew the covers down, Isak quickly laying down onto the bed before Even pulled the blanket over Isak and pecking his forehead, “I’m gonna go get you some water.”   

Isak hummed in confirmation as he lay on his back, pulling the blanket up to his neck as he watched Even pick his boxers up from the floor, stumbling slightly as he put one leg in them, Isak  laughing faintly, making Even glance towards him and shoot him a smile as he pulled his boxers up before padding out of the room.   

Isak shut his eyes, enjoying the soft weight of the blanket pushing him down onto the bed, enveloping him like a hug as he awaited for Even's return.   

He shuffled slightly as he heard steps approaching his room, and when he opened his eyes, Even entered, meeting Isak’s eyes and smiling as he approached, handing him the glass of water as Isak sat up, drinking half of it and setting it down onto the nightstand as Even got in bed, his arm moving straight away as Isak lay his head on his bare chest, the familiarity and cosiness of the position making him remember the first time they had done this.   

Even gently stroked Isak’s hair, twirling his curls around his fingers before threading through them, his fingers lightly scratching at his scalp, Isak humming in appreciation at the feeling and burrowing closer to him, lifting the blanket up slightly.   

“We should probably set up some rules,” Isak mumbled into Even’s chest, the older boys hand stopping before he carried on with the movements.  

“Is this where you say ‘you have to promise you won’t fall in love with me’?” Even imitated Isak in a mocking voice, making Isak groan and push him away softly.  

“Why would I say that?” Isak asked as he looked up at Even with a frown from where he lay.  

Furrowing his eyebrows, Even’s mouth dropped open in shock, opening and closing for a few seconds, unable to say anything as a small smirk appeared on Isak’s face, cocky that he had left the older boy speechless.  

“W-what?” Even said, “A Walk to Remember? It’s a classic.”  

Isak shook his head as Even threw his head back onto the pillow, his hand falling down from where it was playing with Isak’s hair, and Isak couldn’t help but let out a giggle.  

A few seconds of silence had passed, Even apparently still processing that Isak had not seen some movie, before Isak spoke, “seriously though.”  

He lifted himself up, leaning on his elbow and looking at Even with raised eyebrows, the older boy rolling his eyes and sighing slightly, “it’s just sex, that’s it, why do we need rules?”   

Isak gave him an unamused look, Even shrugging as he looked at the boy with something akin to glee in his eyes, something which annoyed Isak endlessly, the way he seemed to not be bothered at all when Isak was in a bad mood or said something which would usually result in annoyance from others, but not from Even. Even just got that half-smile on his face as he kept looking at him as if it was entertaining.   

Even lifted his hand up again, playing with strands of Isak’s hair as Isak spoke, “I just don’t want anything to get fucked up.”   

Sighing in resignation, Even dropped his hand onto the pillow once again, glancing up at the ceiling before looking back to Isak, pursing his lips and nodding slightly, “Okay fine, what are the rules then?”   

Isak licked his lips as he furrowed his brows, thinking for a few moments before he spoke, “we can sleep over,” Isak started with a stern look.  

“Obviously,” Even interrupted as he rolled his eyes, gesturing at the bed with his hands.   

“Oh my god, do you ever shut up?” Isak snapped, making Even bite his lip to, rather unsuccessfully, try to contain a smile.   

“Anyways," Isak said loudly, wanting to grab his attention, "we can sleep over but get out as soon as one of us wakes up. So, tomorrow if you wake up before me, get the fuck out. But if I wake up before you, I’m waking you up and you’re leaving. No breakfast, no small talk, or cuddling or any of that shit, just get out.”   

Even smiled as he lifted his hand up, stroking  Isak’s cheek slightly as he cooed, “Aw baby, you don’t want me to make you breakfast and serenade you in the morning?”   

Slapping his hand away, Isak rolled his eyes as Even laughed slightly, “no, I don’t.”   

Even nodded as his laughter died down, “what else pretty boy?”   

Isak blushed at the familiar nickname as he licked his lips while looking down onto the sheets, his fingers pulling on the edge of the blanket, “just, don’t tell anyone.”   

He heard Even sigh before he felt a hand tilt his chin up, Even making him look at him, “I’m not going to tell anyone, don’t worry about it.”   

Nodding slightly, Isak threw himself back on the bed, his head laying on Even’s arm.   

They spent a few moments in silence, Isak closing his eyes and being close to falling asleep, but then he heard Even speak, “So, no morning sex?”

Groaning, Isak pushed him away slightly as Even laughed, he quickly turned away from him, laying on his side and shutting his eyes, hoping Even would just shut up and let him sleep.

“Aw,” he felt Even shuffle closer until his chest was pressed up to his back, his legs tucked behind Isak's, his boxer clad crotch pressed up against Isak's naked ass as Even threw his arm around  Isak’s waist, hooking his chin over Isak’s shoulder to be able to see him, pulling him closer to him, and Isak could practically feel the smirk the older boy was carrying, “do I not get a kiss goodnight?”

Elbowing him slightly, Isak huffed as he heard Even groan in pain while he leaned his forehead on Isak’s shoulder, his grip around Isak’s waist not loosening though, instead he pulled him closer, leaning over him and placing a kiss on his cheek, making a blush rise on Isak’s face, for some strange reason the action making him feel more relaxed and comforted than he’d ever been.

“Goodnight Isak,” Even sighed as he got comfortable behind him, his body keeping Isak warm.

“Goodnight Even,” Isak said and shut his eyes, letting out a deep breath and burrowing further into the soft pillow beneath him. He slowly drifted off to a calm sleep, and for the first time in a few days, he dreamt peacefully.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, well I hope you liked the chapter even though a large portion of it is smut (what can I say, I like my smut ok).  
> But, I've been wanting to write some 69-ing for quite some time now, and then I got sent a prompt on Tumblr and I decided to do it for this chapter, so this is dedicated to whoever sent that prompt, thank you ily
> 
> So, if you want to send me prompts to write into my fics or write one shots for (doesn't matter how kinky tbh), or if you just want to discuss hc's with me (which I do all the time), then head over to my Tumblr:  isaksforelsket 
> 
> And on Twitter I tend to just bitch about writing tbh:  vandervaltersen 
> 
> Aaand, as always, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated, I really do love hearing your thoughts on the chapter and talking to you in the comments❤️


	4. next best thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read notes below for warnings! (not a trigger, just something some people don't like to read)

Even pushed the thick book back onto the shelf, dust flying up into the air from how long it stayed untouched, visible from the sunlight pouring in through the large windows surrounding the room.  

He wiped his hands on his jeans to get rid of the remains of the dust, sighing as he went back to the desk which was previously covered in books, as he had spent the free lesson he had had studying and trying to catch up with all the work he had been dutifully ignoring, instead focusing on all the parties his friends were hellbent on throwing. Bending down, he picked his backpack up, swinging it onto one shoulder and taking one last look at the desk, making sure he hadn't left anything behind before he turned and walked away.    

He rubbed a hand over his tired face as he turned into the path between two shelves, his steps echoing in the room, the strap of his backpack digging into his shoulder as he sighed in exhaustion, and then he heard a soft high pitched giggle. A sound that he would probably recognize anywhere, making him look up, a smirk pulling on the corners of his lips at the sight in front of him.   

Right there, next to the large window, at a desk pushed up against the white wall, sat Isak. A large book splayed out in front of him, his utensils surrounding it; his back arched as he sat on the edge of his seat, his elbows leaning on the table, and the curve of his ass pronounced slightly, the black jeans he wore hugging it perfectly, his T-shirt riding up a tiny bit and revealing a sliver of smooth pale skin; he crossed his ankles delicately underneath his chair as he put a small hand over his mouth to contain his laughter, a pink colour rushing to his cheeks as Chris kept talking to him, most likely telling him one of his stupid stories that he had used far too often for Even to find them remotely funny or charming.   

He rolled his eyes as he watched Chris speak in hushed tones to Isak, his dark brown hair slicked back as he slid closer to him, placing his head on his hand, his elbow planted on the smooth desk in front of him, making his bare biceps bulge underneath his tight black T-shirt, Isak's eyes glancing towards them whenever Chris looked away, which Even knew he was doing on purpose, he knew he was simply just letting Isak get a taste of what he could have. A smirk Even was all too familiar with, having witnessed it far too many times he had tried to get a person to sleep with him, rested on his tan face, and Even bit back a laugh as he noticed how flustered Isak was getting at this point. His cheeks flushed as he looked down onto the table, apparently unable to look at Chris as he toyed with a pen with both of his hands, fidgeting constantly and occasionally letting out a nervous laugh, his curls falling over his forehead, and Even wanted nothing more than to pick him up by those beautiful thick thighs and carry him off to the secluded part of the library and just bend him over right then and there and fuck him with a hand over that beautifully sculpted mouth to contain the gorgeous whimpers he was bound to let out.   

Even bit his lip to hold in a laugh at the fact that Chris was so obviously trying to win the bet, already flirting with the boy, practically cornering him in the library; he approached them slowly, Isak raising his gaze and meeting his eyes, narrowing them slightly in suspicion, those luscious lips pulling up in a thin line as Even got closer and closer until he could reach up, Isak following his every move and gasping quietly as Even slapped the back of Chris's head.   

"Leave the kid alone," he smirked as Chris turned around, a scowl on his face as he held the back of his head, rubbing it softly to alleviate the pain, his expression turning from anger to annoyance as he realized who it was, "we're gonna be late to class."   

Chris scoffed as he leaned back against the chair, putting his hand back on the table and tilting his head up to look at Even with a smile on his face, "you can go, I'm good right here."    

He looked back to Isak, whose face was now even redder than before as he delicately pushed a loose curl behind his ear, his gaze fixed on the book in front of him, avoiding meeting Even's eye, Even smiling at the shyness of the boy before he kicked the leg of Chris's chair, "you can find something else to stick your little dick into, let's go."   

Isak scoffed in the offence as his mouth fell open, opening and closing before he spluttered out, "what the fuck?"   

He finally looked up at Even with those green eyes as the grin on Even's face widened at the blush covering the boy's face, all the way up to the tips of his ears, which Even thought was a rather lovely look on him, the rosiness of his cheeks making him look more delicate than usual. And consequently, reminding Even of the striking way his skin would flush whenever Even would fuck him.   

"Yeah Even," Chris looked up at him with faux hurt, a corner of his lip quirking up for just a second in a small smile before he neutralised his expression, "what the fuck?"   

He laughed as he tilted his head towards the door, walking back towards it, raising his eyebrows as Chris sighed in resignation and grabbed his hoodie off of the chair before seizing his backpack from the floor.   

"See you around Isak," Chris smirked at the smaller boy, Isak giving him a small shy wave before his eyes flickered towards Even, the older boy grinning at him before he turned around, pushing the door open and walking through it, hearing fast footsteps approach him as he walked down the hallway.   

"What the fuck?" Chris pushed him slightly as he walked beside him, "I can't believe you did that."   

Even looked at him with his brows furrowed in confusion while he held back a smirk, "what do you mean?"   

Chris groaned as he swung his jacket over his shoulder, "you know what I mean you dick, I was talking to that fine piece of ass and it was going great and then you had to come and interrupt it."   

Even snorted as he raised his eyebrows in his direction, both of them turning the corner, "Was it really going great though? Or were you just annoying the fuck out of him and he was too shy to tell you to fuck off?"   

With a groan, Chris tilted his head back as they walked past groups of students rushing to get to their lessons, the two of them carelessly strolling the halls, knowing that their Chemistry professor is more than lenient and won't care if they're late. 

"Shut up, I'll get him on all fours eventually," Chris smirked at him, confidence oozing out of him.   

With a high pitched hum, Even narrowed his eyes in Chris's direction while pursing his lips, "somehow I doubt that. He can barely talk around you."   

Chris sighed before he smirked in Even's direction, pushing a hand through his hair while he spoke, "yeah but I have a feeling he's one of those types."   

Even snorted slightly before he turned his head to the side, a girl walking past him with a smile on her face, looking at him catching his eye, making him smirk as he trailed his gaze over her petite body; her brown hair tied in a high ponytail; her hazel eyes glimmering as she looked at him, a blush on her cheeks as she lowered her head when she walked past him, their arms grazing against each other. Even turned his head and kept his eyes on her as she walked down the hall, his gaze stuck on the sway of her hips; her ass round and perky and Even desperately wanted to get inside of her.   

He shook his head as he turned back to Chris and looked at him once more, suddenly remembering their conversation, "what type?"   

Chris moved his hands in front of him in a _'you know'_ sort of manner, "Shy and stuttering but then when you get them in bed they're really kinky and loud as fuck, I just know that's what he's like."   

Even smirked at the words as memories of the boy on top of him, deepthroating and choking on his cock and moaning like a whore with every swipe of Even's tongue flooded his mind, and he felt an odd sort of satisfaction at knowing that he was well aware of what Isak was like while Chris was had no idea.   

He glanced at Chris as he licked his lips, shaking his head slightly, "Nah, I don't think so."   

Chris stepped forward as he opened the door to the classroom, taking a glance at Even and smirking at him when he realized the professor was yet to start the class.  

"I'll let you know when I find out," Chris sat at the desk in the back casually.  

Even laughed slightly at the cockiness of his friend, "you do that." 

* * *

He threw his backpack onto the floor as he sat on the chair in front of Isak, the chatter in the cafeteria filling the entire room as Isak's eyes widened before he rolled them in a far too familiar fashion. Even sighed, a smile spreading on his face while he made himself comfortable and leaned back against the rather uncomfortable chair, spreading his legs widely as Isak placed his phone down onto the table, right next to his lunch.   

"What?" Isak said with an exasperated tone of voice, Even's grin widening at the sound, somehow the boy's annoyance becoming rather endearing with every encounter they shared.   

Rolling his eyes, Even nudged Isak's leg with his foot, the boy pulling them back straight away and crossing his arms against his chest.  

"Are you ever in a good mood?"    

He raised his eyebrows in Isak's direction as the boy scoffed, "no, what do you want?"   

He leaned forward slightly, Isak waiting for an answer with a bored face as Even smirked, "Wanna meet up later?"   

Isak sighed as he pushed a curl behind his ear, something Even had noticed him do before and found incredibly charming every time he witnessed it for himself. A blush spread on his cheeks as he looked away from Even, confirming that Isak knew exactly what he wanted to meet up for.   

"I can't", he licked his lips as he looked back to Even, "I'm busy, I'm doing something with Eskild."   

He raised his eyebrows as he smirked, "oh, so you're going to fuck someone else?"  

Isak's mouth dropped open before he vehemently shook his head, "no, what the fuck? He's my roommate." He spluttered out as his cheeks reddened.  

Nodding slightly, Even licked his lips before speaking, "Right, whatever. Some other time then?"   

Isak rolled his eyes and looked away from him, releasing a sigh as he spoke, "Yeah, sure."  

Even grinned as he grabbed his backpack from the floor, getting ready to leave, "Finally, you're not being a pain in the fucking ass about it," he stood from the chair, leaning onto the table with both hands, "can't wait to be a pain in yours though."  

Isak groaned as he covered his face with one hand, "what the fuck? Why are you like this?"   

Even was about to respond when Isak's eyes flickered to the side, widening in what appeared to be panic, making Even turn his head as he straightened up, noticing Isak's friends were approaching the table, all of them appearing to be rather perplexed, frowns placed on each of their faces. Well, except for the blonde guy, who seemed to have an expression of pure and utter glee at the sight of Even talking to Isak.   

He turned back to the boy with a smirk, "see you soon."   

Isak nodded as he glanced towards the exit quickly, letting Even know he wanted him to fuck off.  

Rolling his eyes, he stepped away from the table, but not without shooting a smile at Isak's friends before he turned and walked towards the door, quickly looking back to them to see Isak with a delicious blush on his cheeks as he rolled his eyes, all of his friends speaking to him at once, most likely asking questions about why they were even talking.  

With a sigh, Even left the building, walking into the courtyard, where students were sparsely spread out, sitting on the benches and standing in small groups as they waited for the bell.   

He took his phone out of the pocket of his denim jacket, quickly unlocking it as he walked over to one of the benches, putting his backpack to the side and flopping down on it, spreading his arm across the back of it.   

Thumbing his way through his contacts, he finally reached the letter M, his eye stopping at a certain name that made his heart race and his lungs constrict. He inhaled sharply as he kept going, ignoring the pang in his chest and pressing the contact he was looking for, bringing it up to his ear and listening to the ringing.  

"Halla," he heard his mom say, the softness of her voice making a smile appear on his face as he glanced around his surroundings, a random girls laugh making him look towards them, the noise coming from a blonde girl talking to a group of friends, the shrill sound heard clearly in the empty yard. A girl in a hijab looking at her with what appeared to be well-hidden amusement stood opposite her; the girl next to her, wearing a snapback and a rather colourful jacket, looked at her friend and laughed along with her, but the other two, a rather pretty girl with red-stained lips talked to a redhead, both of them whispering to each other and standing rather close, seemingly in their own little world.  

"Hey mom," he spoke quietly as he heard clatter in the background, a soft curse escaping his mom's lips, something only heard when she was growing increasingly more frustrated.   

"Everything alright?" He asked with a frown as he ran a hand through his hair.   

"Yeah, yeah," she said as there was another sound of something falling, a small gasp following it, "I'm just trying to reach for this damn pan."   

Snorting slightly, he kicked at the gravel with the toe of his shoe, rocks skidding further away from him, "Is dad at work?"   

He heard his mom say a small victorious 'aha' before she spoke, "Yes he is, he had to go in today."   

He hummed in understanding, "what time do you want me to come over tonight?"   

"Around 7 would be good, darling," she said with what Even knew was a smile on her face, always ecstatic when he would come over for dinner.   

The bell rang, making him look up to see the remaining few students standing outside, the group of girls he was previously observing now making their way into the building, two of them trailing behind the rest, slowly walking behind them as one of them linked their arms together.   

He rubbed a hand over his face before reaching for his backpack, "Right, I'll see you then," he was just about to say bye when his mom interrupted him.   

"Oh, did you take your pills?" He heard the concern in her voice, and it made his body tense up as he shut his eyes, trying to calm himself down as he knew she meant well.   

"Yeah, I did," he sighed as he slowly made his way towards the entrance.   

"Good, good," she said happily, making Even take a deep breath to stop himself from snapping at her.   

"I have to go, mom," He said while he opened the door, the hall empty as he entered it.   

"Okay sweetheart, I'll see you tonight. Love you," she chirped, completely oblivious to the apparent change of mood that had happened.   

"Love you too, bye," He said as he quickly hung up, his spirit dampened as he walked to his classroom, wishing Isak had said yes so that he could at least have a nice quick fuck before he had to leave tonight and alleviate some of the stress he was feeling. But then he saw her.   

The girl he walked past when he was walking with Chris, and she looked just as fuckable now as she had before.   

Fuck it, since Isak won't be able to do it, looks like he'll have to settle.   

She was pulling her books out of her locker, barely holding them up as she reached further into the locker when he walked up to her, the girl looking up at him with her brown eyes, a smile pulling on her lips as she trailed her eyes over his body, so obviously checking him out.   

He smirked as he stood in front of her, "Need any help?"   

She sighed slightly, her brown hair falling in front of her face, "Yes please."   

He rushed to grab the books from her hands, the girl pulling out a notebook from the back before she grabbed the objects from Even's hands, quickly putting them back in and closing the locker shut.   

"I'm Even by the way," he extended his hand towards her, the girl smiling as she shook it.   

"I'm Elise," she spoke softly as she pulled her backpack strap over her shoulder.   

"I've never seen you before, you a first-year?" They started walking down the hall, Elise smiling up at him as she nodded.   

Even hummed, "thought so," he smirked as he looked at her, "I would've noticed someone that looks like you."   

She laughed softly, but a blush covering her skin betrayed her and Even knew she was charmed by the cheesy, cliche comment, and he smirked to himself, trying not to roll his eyes at just how easy this was.   

They kept talking casually, Even walking close to her, their hands brushing against each other as they approached their classrooms and Elise giggling with every stupid thing Even said.   

"This is me," she said suddenly, tilting her head towards the door of the room.   

Even nodded before licking his lips, "look, do you wanna go out tomorrow? Get some coffee or something." He asked sincerely, even though he knew fine well he couldn't care less about the date, it was mere foreplay leading up to the main event, and he knew this blushy, flirty little thing would spread her legs eventually.   

She smiled as she looked down onto the floor before looking up at Even through her dark, thick lashes, "I'd love to." 

* * *

"I'll be right back," Elise said with a smile as she placed her cup of coffee back onto the table in front of them before standing up, pushing her chair back and walking away, accidentally stumbling into a man on her way there, shooting him a small 'sorry'. Even watched as the man kept his eyes on her, trailing his gaze over her petite body as she walked into the toilets, making him roll his eyes at just how obvious he was being.  

He looked down at her mug, almost empty as they had spent an hour talking to each other, Even trying to charm the pretty little thing so that he could take her home already, the previous evening having left him feeling exhausted and more than irritated.  

The thing is, he loved his parents, and he most definitely loved spending time with them, but when the conversation had steered to how his therapy was going, how he was feeling, and how he's been sleeping, he suddenly remembered why exactly he was so desperate to move out when he had transferred schools 2 years ago. So, he had rushed to tell his parents he had to go home, having to wake up early for school tomorrow and wanting to be well-rested, leaving his mother quite happy with him keeping up his sleeping schedule as she packed him some food to take with him and sent him home with a kiss on his cheek.  

So, he happened to be in desperate need of some sort of release, and Elise had been looking at him and giggling and twirling her hair throughout the entire date, well he wouldn't really call it a date, as much as he'd call it a necessity to get to what he actually wanted, he only hoped she wouldn't become clingy and expect anything more to come of this.  

He drummed his fingers on the tabletop to the random song playing in the cafe when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, making him roll his eyes as he took it out. He sighed as he read the notification, opening the conversation quickly.  

**Chris**

_We’re throwing a party this weekend._

Even took a deep breath and rubbed a hand over his face before he began writing a reply.  

_Again? Seriously?_

_Ugh, shut up, William's brother just left and he's trying to fuck some first-year blonde girl, I don't fucking know. So, we're doing it._

He laughed softly before glancing up, Elise still not exiting the toilet.  

_God, fine._

He waited for Chris’s response as he took a drink of his coffee.  

_Plus, I can ask that little twink to come and just fuck him already_

_Good luck with that, you'll need it._

Even noticed the door to the toilets being opened, Elise coming out. He put his phone away as he shot a smile at her, the girl's lips shining from the lipgloss she clearly reapplied.  

Elise sat back down onto the chair, finishing her drink before she opened her mouth to say something when he interrupted her, tired of doing this silly game when he had no interest in it, "do you wanna go back to my place?"  

A blush covered her cheeks as she looked down, nodding her head in confirmation.  

 _Finally._  

* * *

They stumbled through Even's apartment, his hands gripping her small face as their tongues moved against each other before they were tearing each other's clothes off, leaving a trail of jackets and T-shirts behind them leading up to his room.   

He pushed her onto the bed, her body bouncing slightly before he started peeling her jeans off of her tan legs and throwing them onto the floor, leaving her only in her matching underwear, the light shining through the window illuminating her golden skin and the sight making Even's cock twitch. He stood up, taking the rest of his clothes off as she pushed herself up the spacious bed, laying her head back onto the white pillows and waiting for Even to come back.   

He lay back between her spread out legs, his hands trailing over her body, fingertips digging into her thighs as he pressed a firm kiss on her lipgloss covered lips, the taste lingering in his mouth before he moved lower, reaching down under her back and unclasping her bra and throwing it to the side, lowering his head and kissing and sucking on her nipples until she was trembling beneath him, grasping at his shoulders.   

He pressed his lips to her skin, travelling lower and lower until he reached the hem of her panties, hastily pulling them down and revealing her shaved pussy to his hungry eyes.   

He leaned forward, laying down onto his stomach, and pushing her legs further apart, allowing him to stick his tongue between her folds as she tangled her fingers in his hair, moving him to where she wanted him the most as she shivered beneath him.   

He flicked his tongue against her clit, circling it around and making her moan his name as he put two fingers inside of her, angling them and pressing them against her spot as he tasted her, her thighs squeezing his head and keeping him in place.   

He kept up the ministrations until she tightened her thighs around his head even further, her pussy pulsating around his fingers as she came on his tongue, her back arched and her mouth wide open.  

He pulled away from her slowly, licking her clit one last time before coming up, watching her grip the sheets in her hands, her knuckles white from the force. He licked his fingers clean, climbing over her and kissing her once more, allowing her to taste herself on his tongue before he reached to his nightstand, taking a condom out of the drawer.   

"Turn around," he said as he kneeled, ripping the packet open with his teeth, rolling the condom down his length while she turned on all fours, arching her back and presenting herself to him.   

"Good girl," he said absentmindedly as he gripped her hip with one hand, leading his cock inside of her with the other; the tight, wet head enveloping him, Elise moaning as he stretched her out.   

Pounding into her straight away, he set a punishing pace, angling his hips and hitting her at just the right spot with every move he made, making her arms collapse and her back arch even further.   

He gripped her hips tightly, keeping her in place as he thrust into her, sweat covering his body from the exertion as Elise moved her hips back, meeting him halfway and tightening her walls around him.   

"Fuck, so tight," he groaned as he slid his hand down her back, gripping her shoulder and pulling her back on his cock harshly before he pulled it away, moving his hand down to her chest, pinching her nipples, twisting them and making her shiver before he moved on, slowly tracing his hand down the soft skin of her stomach, reaching the smooth wet heat between her legs. He could feel his cock sliding in and out of her on his fingertips as he circled her clit with firm, focused movements until she shuddered around him, her walls clenching around his thick cock rhythmically as she came loudly, a moan emitting from her as he thrust forward one last time, his cock twitching and releasing into the condom.   

He pulled out, Elise laying onto her back as she panted while Even removed the condom, tying it up and throwing it into the trash before reaching for the tissues, cleaning himself up and laying down next to her, the smell of sweat and pure sex filling his room.   

"You good?" He asked as she turned to the side, leaning her head on his shoulder slightly as she looked up at him.   

"Yeah," she licked her lips as apprehension took over her features, "are you gonna kick me out now?"   

Even snorted slightly before sitting up, throwing a look over his shoulder at her and smiling, "Nah, it's fine. You can stay."   

He reached onto the floor, grabbing his boxers and pulling them up, "bathroom is down the hall on the left if you need it, by the way." He shot a smile in her direction as she shuffled down the bed, reaching for her underwear.   

"Thanks," she smiled softly, "can I borrow something to wear?"   

"Sure," he replied as he headed over to the closet, opening it and looking through his stuff before he smirked, grabbing a hoodie from a shelf and turning around, bringing it over to her.   

She rolled her eyes and smiled as she unfolded it, "Really?" she said as she pulled it over her head and stood up, a satisfied smile on her face.   

"You earned it," He smirked as he threw himself back onto the bed, Elise heading out of his room and shaking her head, a small sigh emitting from her.   

He rubbed a hand over his face as he let out a breath, stretching his arm out and reaching for his jeans next to the bed, taking his phone out of the pocket once he found them.   

He unlocked it as he saw a notification, quickly opening the conversation.   

**Pretty Boy**

_Why the fuck are two of your friends asking me to a party next weekend?_    

Even snorted slightly as he read the message, realizing that both of his friends had the same plan, and also knowing that they wouldn't succeed in what they were planning as Even knew fine well he would end up inside of the blonde that night.   

_You have a nice ass, they wanna fuck it._

He sent the message and smirked, the mere memory of those perky cheeks making his cock twitch even though he just came.   

_Thank you Even, you sure do know how to make a boy swoon._

_You're coming to the party though right? I haven't fucked you in a while_

_We had sex last Friday Even_

_What can I say, your mouth is just that good_

He watched the typing bubbles appear and disappear several times, Isak apparently not knowing what to say.  

 _Fine, I'll come._  

Even huffed out a laugh as he glanced up, Elise coming through the door. He looked back down to his screen before he started typing.   

_Gotta go, my date is back._

He was just about to put his phone away when he noticed Isak typing again as Elise took her own phone out of the jeans discarded on the floor.  

_You're talking about fucking me while you're on a date???_

_Are you jealous pretty boy?_

_Fuck no._

_Aw, don't worry baby, you're a much better fuck than her._

He locked his phone, putting it on the nightstand before he lay back down onto the bed as Elise got comfortable next to him.  

"Everything alright?" She asked as she lay on her side, her hand beneath her cheek as she gazed up at Even.   

He covered his mouth with his hand while he yawned, Elise shuffling closer to him and placing her head on his chest, his arm wrapping itself around her waist loosely, “yeah, my friends are trying to fuck this first year by throwing a party and hoping he shows up.”    

He stretched his back slightly as Elise trailed her fingertips over his bare chest, "what first-year?"   

Even sighed at the question, for some reason feeling rather uneasy even mentioning Isak to the girl he had just slept with, "Isak."   

She hummed softly as she continued her nonsensical patterns, "is he cute?"   

Taking a deep breath, Even bent his arm, placing it under his head as he pursed his lips in thought, "he's alright." He settled on eventually, looking to the side as he spoke, the words themselves not sounding very convincing as they came out of his mouth. But all he wanted was for the conversation to be over and done with.   

Snorting slightly, she leaned up, looking at Even, "two people are trying to get with a kid that's 'alright'?" 

He shrugged his shoulders as she raised his eyebrows, "Chris will stick his dick in just about anything."   

Elise seemed to believe him as she lay back down, her dark hair sprawled out onto the pillow behind her as she raised her leg, placing it over Even's.   

"Seems weird to go through so much trouble, and go after someone like that if they're nothing special," She mumbled into his chest, the words making Even feel increasingly more uncomfortable, his breath hitching as he remembered all the weeks he spent talking to Isak before they slept together, all the times he smiled at him for seemingly no reason, the time he had saved him from the guy cornering him at the party, and every time he was actually nice to the younger boy, for no reason other than wanting a smile to adorn his face.   

He closed his eyes shut, willing the thoughts to disappear as he dropped the hand that was around Elise onto the bed.  

_No, nothing special at all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: in this chapter Even has sex with a girl, it's not as graphic as my other work, but it does happen and I do describe it, and I know some people don't really want to read that. So, if you're not into it just skip from the bit where he asks her to go home to the part where he starts texting.
> 
> But, yeah I updated a few days ago and I'm updating again, shocker I know!!  
> I hope you liked the chapter, I'm slooowly building everything up and I'm excited for shit to actually start going down and all that.
> 
> If you want to send me prompts to write into my fics or write one shots for (doesn't matter how kinky tbh), or if you just want to discuss hc's with me (which I do all the time), then head over to my Tumblr:  isaksforelsket 
> 
> And on Twitter I tend to just bitch about everything:  vandervaltersen 
> 
> And as always, your feedback is greatly appreciated!! Thank you ly ly


	5. midnight rides

He could see the flashing lights behind his eyelids, the colours changing and shifting like a kaleidoscope, the music blasting in his ears, the bass filling the entire room, but he couldn't be sure whether it was purely the music or if it was the jumping of the dozens of dancing teenagers, but he knew were all the noise gone, he'd be able to clearly hear the moans the boy pressed up against him was emitting whenever Isak tugged on his hair or moved his hips towards him, but as of now, he could only feel the vibrations against his lips.

They stood in the corner of the room, only a small table next to them littered with empty cups and ashtrays filled with cigarette butts, there was a crowd of people standing all around them but no one seemed to pay any attention to them, being either far too intoxicated to mind, or simply not caring about someone deciding to make out.

He could feel a small vibration against his hip, a phone buzzing in the boys pocket, but they had both been dutifully ignoring it for quite some time now, the blonde rather focusing on squeezing Isak's ass and stroking his hands along the sides of his body as he crowded against him.

“Fuck,” He heard the guy, whose name he was pretty sure was Julian but at this point he didn't know nor care, groan as he leaned back from  Isak , his hand reluctantly moving away from  Isak’s  waist as he dug into his pocket, taking his phone out and reading all the texts he had received.

And the second he looked up at  Isak  with pure regret in his brown eyes,  Isak  knew what was about to happen and that his plans of someone making him come that night had been ruined.

“I have to go,” he leaned closer to  Isak  to tell him before he sighed, placing his head on  Isak’s  shoulder just for a second before he moved away, leaning against the wall with his palm.

“What the fuck?” Isak spluttered out, “Seriously?” He gestured towards his crotch, his hard-on pressing up against Julian's hip as he groaned in frustration.

“I’m sorry,” he said apologetically, his blonde hair falling down his face, making him reach up and push it back.

“Fine, whatever,” Isak took the bottle of beer on the small table next to him, taking a swig of it as Julian observed his every move.

He felt the boy put a hand on his cheek and move his head so that he was looking at him again before pressing  his lips  to  Isak’s , moving away afterwards as he bit his lip in what appeared to be nervousness.

By the clear rise of his chest,  Isak  could see him take in a deep breath before he licked his lips and spoke, "can I see you again sometime?"

Isak looked off to the side, happy that the room was rather dark and that he had been drinking, which had given him a convenient excuse as to why he had a blush rapidly spreading on his face.

He shrugged his shoulders as he looked down onto the floor, hoping the boy would just go away without any resistance as  Isak  had no desire to actually go out with him, no matter how sweet he was, or how much he smiled at  Isak , or how he apprehensively stuttered around him at first before he finally relaxed.

And he really was glad that he approached  Isak  because the second he walked in he could feel Chris's eyes on him, watching him walk through the  filled up  house with Jonas trailing behind him. He quickly went to grab a beer in the kitchen, Jonas telling him he'll be right back and leaving him on the way there.  So  he was careful to avoid making eye contact with the infamous third year, and just leaned back against the wall, nursing his drink as he looked around the room. And then he caught sight of a boy, a boy that was staring at him from the other side of the room but quickly looked away when  Isak  caught him, a boy with floppy blonde hair and when he looked back up,  Isak  couldn't help but smile sweetly at him. And, just as he noticed Chris making his way over to him, the boy came up to him, and soon enough,  Isak  was being pressed up against the wall.

He blinked slightly to get out of his thoughts, and when he looked up Julian was still staring at him expectantly, until he nodded, giving him a small smile, "that's okay. Think about it and let me know."

He stepped away from  Isak  before he turned around and left, leaving  Isak  horny and frustrated and all alone, Jonas still nowhere in sight.

He tilted his head back as he went to take a drink, but was left disappointed as only a drop fell on his tongue, the bottle now empty. He rolled his eyes in annoyance, placing the bottle onto the table next to him as he went to shove himself away from the wall when he noticed a figure settle in right next to him, leaning against the wall on their side.

He turned his head towards them, and he watched as a smirk spread on Chris's face as he took in Isak's surprised expression.

He leaned closer to Isak, the smell of cologne filling his nostrils as he took a deep breath at their proximity, "where'd your boyfriend go?"

Isak snorted as he raised his eyebrows in his direction before shaking his head lightly, "not my boyfriend."

He looked towards the mass of people in front of him, all of them getting increasingly drunker, but out of the corner of his eye he saw Chris shuffle closer to him, his broad chest now brushing against Isak's shoulder, making heat rise to Isak's face.

Chris leaned even closer to him to speak, "a pretty boy like you is single? Somehow I find that hard to believe."

And no matter how cheesy he found the comment, or how he would usually scoff at something like that,  Isak  couldn't help but feel charmed by it, a small demure smile spreading on his lips as he glanced at Chris, the third year seemingly pleased with the effect he had on him.

Taking a deep breath, Isak pushed himself away from the wall before speaking, "I'm going to get another drink, I'll see you around."

Chris nodded slightly as he trailed his gaze over Isak's body, making Isak feel even more flustered than he already was.

He turned away, pushing his way through the crowd to get to the kitchen, desperate for another drink.

He squeezed through the party, finally making it into the small hall leading to the kitchen when he felt a hand wrap around his bicep, making him turn his head and look up at the offender with a quizzical expression on his face.

_ What the fuck is it now? _

Curly black hair fell in front of the boy's face still holding a firm grip on  Isak , a crooked smile pulling on his lips and his dark brown eyes hazy from whatever substance he had taken.

Isak  furrowed his brows as he glanced at the hand holding onto him, the boy moving it away and stepping closer to him so that  Isak  could hear him as he spoke, “looking for something baby?”

Isak  grimaced at the slurring of his voice, the alcohol stench from his mouth hitting him in the face, a mixture of vodka and beer, and just a slight tinge of weed, making him want to get as far away from him as possible.

Isak shook his head and was about to turn around when the boy stopped him once more, stepping closer until Isak was pressed up against the wall, the people around them paying them no mind.

“I’m Adrian,” he said as he swayed, nearly stumbling over until he held himself up, placing his hand on the wall next to Isak's head.

Isak’s breathing quickened slightly at the closeness of the boy, Adrian's smirk widening as he noticed the redness of Isak’s cheeks, mistaken it for coyness but in reality, it was only growing nervousness.

“I’m  gonna  go,”  Isak  stuttered out as he placed his palms on Adrian’s chest, pushing him away gently but still making him falter backwards.

“Hey,” he grabbed Isak’s arm once more, “let’s go upstairs sweetheart.” He leered at him before Isak shook his hand off, his brows furrowed as he stepped back from him, Adrian's grin still in place as he looked at Isak with glazed-over eyes.

“No,” he said firmly before he turned away from him, rubbing a hand over his face and trying to calm his rapid breathing as he stepped into the kitchen, heading towards the fridge and opening it straight away.

“You alright?” He heard a familiar deep voice rumble from the entrance, making him jump slightly and hit his head on the shelf.

“Fuck,” he gripped the back of his head as he reached into the fridge, grabbing a beer bottle and closing the door before he looked up, Even leaning against the doorway and looking at him with a grin on his face, obviously trying to contain his laughter.

“Yes, I’m fine, why?” He answered before he turned, opening random drawers until he found the bottle opener and looked back to Even as he opened the beer.

Even tilted his head back towards the hall, “saw you and Adrian and you didn’t seem so happy to see him.”

Isak shrugged his shoulders, trying to appear relaxed even though the encounter still had him quite shaken up. He took a sip before speaking, “I’m fine.”

Even nodded as he pursed his lips, looking off to the side before a smirk appeared on his face and he looked back at  Isak , “who’s your boy toy by the way?”

Isak choked on the drink, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, “what the fuck? Who?"

Even raised his eyebrows in that all too familiar fashion, quickly moving them up and down, “the guy you were dry humping in the living room.”

Isak rolled his eyes as he propped himself up on the counter, crossing his ankles and releasing a sigh, "why the fuck does everyone care so much?"

"Who's everyone?" Even asked as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, his white T-shirt straining against his arms, Isak looking down onto the floor to stop himself from staring.

"Chris asked as well," Isak took a drink, lightly swinging his legs back and forth as he watched Even nod slowly, looking away from Isak.

Isak frowned slightly, a grin spreading on his face as he observed Even, "are you jealous?"

Even snorted and looked down, but Isak could see the slight clenching of his jaw, and a glimmer of some sort of emotion in his eyes when he looked back to Isak, “nope.” He said simply before walking over to Isak, leaning against the counter right next to him.

“You were literally on a date last Friday, you don’t get to be jealous,” Isak teased him with a smile on his face.

Even groaned as he rubbed a hand over his face, turning his head to look at Isak, “I’m not.”

Humming softly, Isak nodded before leaning closer to Even, poking his cheek with his finger, “aw, yes you are.”

Even rolled his eyes and huffed as he swatted Isak's hand away before looking at him, "it wasn't a date anyway."

Isak frowned at him slightly, a strange feeling taking over his mind, "what was it then?"

Even sighed, licking his lips and glancing at Isak, "I wanted to fuck her so I took her out, that's it."

Isak rolled his eyes as he took a sip of the beer, "that's kind of fucked up, man."

Even shrugged his shoulders noncommittally, staying silent for a few seconds before he pushed himself away from the counter, turning to look at Isak with a smirk on his face, “head outside in 5 minutes, turn right and walk to the end of the street.”

He winked at Isak before walked back to the door, leaving Isak with his mouth wide open.

He took a deep breath as he finished his beer off, swinging his legs back and forth, his heels hitting the counters occasionally as he checked the time on his phone and watched the painfully long minutes tick by until he thought a sufficient amount of time had finally passed.

He decided to text Jonas before leaving, knowing that he wouldn't be coming back and that Jonas would worry way too much about him if he couldn't find him.

** The Jonas Brother **

_ Hey bro, heading out, don't feel well. Talk to you tomorrow _

He jumped off of the counter, locking his phone and putting it in his pocket before placing the empty bottle in the sink and heading out, rushing down the hall and looking around not to run into Adrian as he pushed through, careful not to stumble into anyone. He looked around the room and noticed Eva standing behind Noora, who was talking with the guy he was pretty sure threw the party, his dark brown hair swooping over his face, and a look of pure annoyance on his face as the pretty girl grimaced in his direction as she spoke before turning around and leaning back towards Eva, smiles spreading on both their faces immediately as the guy stalked off.

He beamed at the sight as he kept walking until he reached the hall next to the exit, quickly going through the jackets hanging on the hooks until he grabbed his own, pulling it on and heading down the street where he could see a faint slim figure leaning against a car.

He took a step after step, the alcohol he had consumed only making him slightly in a better mood than usual, not affecting him greatly so when he saw the smirk on Even's face as he stepped close to him, he couldn’t even bother to be annoyed, he only rolled his eyes halfheartedly and bit his lip to contain a smile.

“Get in,” Even said with a smirk before he went to the other side, opening the door and sitting into the driver's seat as  Isak  rushed forward and got into the car.

Isak strapped his seatbelt on as Even started the car, the rumbling of the engine filling the tense silence as a blush spread on his cheeks, knowing fine well what was going to happen.

“Are we going back to your place?” Isak asked quietly as Even got on the road.

“Yup,” Even nodded slightly, popping the p and licking his lips, Isak's eyes tracking the movement before he looked off to the side, watching the houses blur in his sight as he looked out the window and hummed, wringing his hands in his lap, stretching his legs forward and trying to relax, the excitement making his heart beat faster.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a small smirk on Even's face, and his hand moving, so he really shouldn't have been surprised but he still jumped when he felt Even's large hand on his leg, the placement of it much too high for it to be innocent in any way.

He looked towards Even, his mouth opened slightly as Even's hand trailed upwards, that damn smirk still pulling on his lips as he glanced towards  Isak , his fingers trailing gently on  Isak's  inner thigh, the touch making goosebumps rise on his skin and his legs spread subconsciously when he  realised  where he was heading, the smirk on Even's face widening at that as his hand gripped his thigh firmly before he continued moving it up,  Isak  sliding down the seat as his mouth dropped open, panting when Even's hand finally reached its destination; trailing touches on his crotch, directly over his rapidly hardening cock before he gripped it tightly, a whimper coming out of Isak at the feeling.

“Even,”  Isak  said breathily as he gripped his wrist, Even's fingers still squeezing his dick through his jeans, making him pant and throw his head back against the seat, squeezing his eyes as he pushed into Even's hand.

“Hm?” Even hummed, glancing towards Isak before looking back at the road, Isak's hand still loosely wrapped around his wrist.

“Stop somewhere,” Isak spoke quickly, flicking his tongue out to wet his lips.

Even looked at him swiftly, his brows furrowed but  Isak  could see a flash of excitement in his eyes, “seriously?”

Isak nodded quickly, just wanting to come as soon as possible, “please.”

And apparently, that was all the confirmation Even needed as he smirked, nodding his head and giving Isak's dick one last squeeze before he moved his hand down onto his leg, “give me ten minutes, I know the spot.”

Isak nodded as he put a hand over Even's, keeping it in place as he enjoyed the small tease, Even's fingers continuously trailing over the inseam of his jeans.

They kept driving, Isak wriggling in the seat and patiently waiting, getting more and more desperate as Even kept a hand on his upper thigh, not moving it for a second. And when Isak looked over, he could see Even's cock straining against his pants, the massive length tenting them slightly, and Isak had to take a deep breath to stop himself from taking it out and sucking it right then and there.

And suddenly they turned down a narrow road, finally getting to a small abandoned spot surrounded by trees, hidden from everyone else, the place overlooking the glowing lights of the city, sparkling like stars as Even turned the car off, turning the small light in the car on and unbuckling his seatbelt hastily. And suddenly,  Isak  was being pulled towards him by the back of his neck, a firm hand holding his head in place as their lips smashed into each other, the taste of cheap beer on Even's tongue somehow tasting good, his hand trailing upwards into  Isak's  hair and gripping it tightly, pulling on it and making  Isak  whimper as he pulled away, with shaking hands trying to unfasten the seatbelt and failing until Even chuckled softly, doing it for him and pulling him in for another kiss, languidly moving their lips together until he spoke, “get in the backseat.”

Isak  opened the door hurriedly, already pushing his jacket off of his shoulders and getting in the back, waiting for Even to join him. He watched the older boy frantically searching through the glove department until he found what he was looking for, putting the lube, condom, and tissues onto the floor of the car in the back and getting out of the vehicle, immediately sliding in next to  Isak .

Pulling him in by his jacket, Isak lay back, leaning against the car door as Even hoovered above him, his hands gripping Isak's slim waist before they slipped under his T-shirt, sliding over his skin smoothly and making his breath hitch, goosebumps raising with every stroke of his fingers as Even leaned in, kissing him roughly.

Even's hand reached up, his nimble fingers pinching and twisting his nipples until he couldn't contain himself, moans being swallowed by Even's smart mouth, his hips thrusting upwards as his cock strained against his skinny jeans, desperate for some contact, but Even moved his hips away from him, Isak whining as his dick throbbed. 

"Even come on," he panted against his lips as Even chuckled, withdrawing from him and moving a curl behind his ear gently before he moved away, pulling on the hem of Isak's T-shirt, Isak getting the hint and sitting up in the cramped space, removing the cloth, throwing it onto the front seat as he watched Even push his jacket off before taking his shirt off.

Isak  watched as all that beautiful unmarred skin appear before his eyes, his chest broad and strong, the muscles in his body shifting as he threw his shirt to the front, and  Isak  couldn't help but lean forward; his fingers  trepidly  grazing Even's sides as he kissed his chest gently, tracing his lips against the pronounced collarbones and moving downwards as Even groaned when his tongue found the stiff peak of his nipple, gently kissing it before he moved upwards, kissing and sucking on the skin of his neck, creating marks which he was sure will be prominent tomorrow before he reached his lips and pressed his own against them.

Even grasped his waist, his fingers almost meeting in the middle as he moved him down against the door once more, laying between  Isak's  legs, steadily grinding against  Isak  and making him moan,  Isak's  arms wrapping around Even's neck, his hand running through his hair and gripping, pulling on it, eliciting a groan from Even as he pressed his crotch harder against  Isak's .

He trailed his fingertips down Even's body until he reached his pants, quickly undoing his belt and unbuttoning them with shaky hands, immediately reaching into them and squeezing a firm hand over his boxer clad cock.

Even moved away from his lips as he groaned, his hips moving towards Isak's palm as he buried his head in the crook of Isak's neck, "fuck, Isak."

Isak panted as he moved his hand, feeling the wet patch on the cloth where the tip was, the pre-cum soaking through them, and before he knew it, he was pushing a hand into his boxers, feeling the hot skin and trailing a finger over the head, picking up all the pre-cum before he brought his hand up, Even lifting his head up and watching his every move, his cock twitching against Isak's and his mouth dropping open as Isak pushed his finger in his mouth, hollowing his cheeks out around it and sucking, sliding his tongue over the pad of it and tasting the salty liquid, the taste exploding on his taste buds making his eyes roll into the back of his head as he moaned.

"Fuck baby," Even moaned, Isak's eyes fluttering open as he took his finger out, "you're so gorgeous."

He kissed Isak once again, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, before leaning on his palm, lifting the other hand, trailing a thumb over Isak's bottom lip gently. 

"Please, Even," he whispered, the desperation seething through every word he spoke, every exhale of breath.

He watched Even sit up, the older boy quickly undoing Isak's jeans as Isak kicked his shoes off, both of them falling onto the floor, the sound echoing in the small confines of the car before Even started peeling his pants off, his boxers following, the blush that was already on his face deepening at how exposed he felt, Even tracing his gaze over his body, his pupils dilated as he watched Isak go to close his legs, feeling far too self-conscious, but before he could make a move, he felt a hand pushing on his inner thigh, making them fall back open once more.

"Don't baby," he licked his lips as Isak took a deep breath and moved his leg up, propping it up on the front seat as Even reached forward, using the thumbs of both his hands to pull his cheeks apart, revealing him fully to his lustful gaze, "let me see that pretty hole."

Isak whimpered as Even traced his fingers over his rim, barely-there touches that left Isak panting, grinding downwards, trying to get Even to put them inside of him, but then he felt a sharp slap delivered to his inner thigh, the skin prickling and stinging as his cock twitched at the feeling.

"Stay still, angel. You haven't earned it yet," Even smirked as Isak tensed his muscles, trying to stop himself from just grabbing the lube and sticking a few fingers inside of himself since Even seemed determined to tease him, but he knew he had to wait, he had to be good because he knew Even would stick that huge cock inside of him eventually.

"Good boy," Even praised him, the words making him glance down towards where Even was still moving his hand lightly over Isak's hole, barely applying any pressure. He took in a shaky breath, his desperation growing with each second that passed by.

"Please, fuck, please Ev," Isak moaned as Even kept tracing around his rim, just on the outskirts of it, the sensitive skin just begging for a tongue on it.

"What do you want, baby?" Even smirked as he leaned down, placing kisses on his inner thighs, his cock twitching as Even sucked on the skin where he knew purple would bloom tomorrow, a reminder of every moment Even spent focused on him and his pleasure.

"Please," Isak said simply, hoping, praying it would be enough.

"Come on angel," Even traced his hand upwards, hovering over Isak's dick before he moved on, Isak's hips tilting upwards at the tease, a whine coming out of him but turning into a moan as Even pinched and twisted his nipples, leaving them red and puffy, "tell me what you want."

"Touch me Even," Isak finally said as Even kept kissing his thighs, trailing lower and lower to the place where his groin met his thigh, until he carried on, kissing the smooth soft skin around his dick, avoiding every part that Isak wanted him to feel.

Even hummed as he shuffled closer, bringing his hand back down, fingertips grazing over the flushed skin of Isak's chest and stomach.

"You want me to touch you here," he trailed a tender touch down Isak's cock, his hips moving up into it but Even moved on, brushing past the soft skin of his balls until he trailed past his perineum, down to his rim, "or here?"

Isak  whined in frustration, "anywhere you want Even, please, do whatever you want to me." 

He heard Even groan at the words as he clenched his eyes shut, trying to get his breathing under control and then he felt a tight wet heat around his cock, a desperate moan exiting his body as he opened his eyes, looking down to see Even's head bobbing up and down as he sucked Isak's dick.

Isak dropped his hands down, scrambling for purchase until he threaded them through Even's hair, strands of silky blonde hair trapped between his fingers as Even slid his tongue over his slit, Isak pushing upwards slightly, Even pulling off and pressing a firm hand over his stomach, his fingers digging into the bone of his hip.

"Don't move," he growled before sucking Isak's cock back into his mouth, moving his head in a practised manner as Isak wrapped a leg around his head, keeping him in place.

He kept moving his head, his tongue slipping all over his dick as Isak tried to stay still, not to move and just enjoy the sensations as he kept his hands in Even's hair, pulling on it lightly and scratching his scalp, Even moaning at the feeling.

Even came off for a moment, blindly reaching for the bottle of lube discarded on the floor until he gripped it and uncapped it, Isak following his every move intently, his breathing heavy as he watched Even spill some of the liquid onto his long fingers before he gripped Isak's thigh with his clean hand, pushing his leg up to his chest as Isak wrapped his arm behind his knee before he did the same to the other one, feeling fully exposed as Even looked at him for a moment.

"Fuck baby," he reached forward, sliding his  lubed up  fingers over  Isak's  fluttering hole,  Isak  keening at the feeling before Even stuck a finger inside of him, making  Isak  whine in a tone much higher than his usual voice, "you look so fucking good like this, such a pretty boy."

"Ev," Isak reached for him, his leg falling back onto the front seat as he moved his hand, Even raising his own and interlacing their fingers, a strange feeling unfurling in Isak's chest at the tender action, but before he could even begin to think about what it meant, Even was moving his finger in and out, hitting his prostate on every stroke, making Isak's thighs shake and continuous moans come out of his mouth.

And suddenly, stealing all the breath from Isak's lungs, Even put his dick in his mouth once more, Isak's hips moving as if he didn't know whether he wanted to push into the wet heat of Even's mouth, or if he wanted to get his finger deeper inside of him.

As Even pushed another finger inside of him, Isak knew he wouldn't last long, with all the stimulations he was experiencing he knew it was only a matter of seconds until he came.

"Even," he moaned, Even groaning around his cock and bringing him closer to the edge as he shoved his fingers inside of him harder, scissoring them and spreading his ass, getting him ready for his cock, "I'm gonna come."

Even sucked harder, his fingers still working inside of him, making Isak moan and pant until he was right there, right on the edge, only a second longer. And, as if he sensed it, Even pulled his fingers out, moving away from Isak's dick and gripping the base tightly, almost painfully. Isak's eyes opened straight away, betrayal flashing in his irises as he looked at Even, a smirk on the boy's red, slick lips as he watched Isak's thighs quiver and his chest rise and fall rapidly.

"Not yet baby," he said as he removed his hand once Isak calmed down, his high disappearing, but he knew it wouldn't take long to bring him back to the edge. And then, Even was shoving his fingers back inside of him, Isak's hand shooting upwards, holding himself still by putting his palm on the roof of the car while Even pumped his fingers, spreading them inside of him until he was able to put another one in, Isak whining at the feeling.

"Even," he moaned out as Even kept going, expertly moving his fingers inside of him, "please fuck me."

Even groaned as he pulled his fingers out, sitting back on the seat as Isak shuffled backwards, Even trailing a hand down his leg until he reached his ankle, his thumb stroking the soft skin tenderly, "how do you want to do this angel?"

Isak moved on his knees, "wanna ride you."

Even muttered a strained 'fuck' before sitting in the middle of the backseat, trying to get comfortable as he unbuttoned his pants, lifting his hips and pulling his jeans down to the middle of his thighs, his huge, hard cock slapping his stomach, the head of it red and soaked in pre-cum, the vein on the underside prominent as Even reached over to  Isak , putting a hand on his waist, but  Isak  didn't take his gaze off of his cock, he reached over and he gripped it tightly, moving his hand up and down, sliding his palm over the tip before he pulled it down, the girth of it making his mouth salivate, and for a moment he contemplated sucking him off, but he was far too desperate, he needed it inside of his ass.

Even reached down, bending over to the side over Isak's thighs as he grabbed the condom off of the floor, ripping the packet open with his teeth as Isak kept his hand on his cock, still moving it.

"You're gonna have to move away baby," Even smirked at him as the blush on Isak's cheeks deepened, his hand timidly pulling away as Even put the condom on before he reached for the lube he had thrown on the seat, pouring some onto his palm and spreading it over.

"Come here," Even gestured as he looked up at him, his pupils dilated and his hair fucked up from where  Isak  was gripping it.

Isak shuffled forward, carefully straddling him and sitting back on his thighs before he gripped Even's cock once more, jerking him off for a moment before he felt Even's hands on his ass, his fingers moving towards where he wanted him the most, Isak's back arching involuntarily, Even smirking at the sight before he pushed two of his fingers inside of him, Isak's hand around him tightening as his eyes fluttered shut, his teeth digging into his bottom lip as Even moved his hand slightly, his fingers moving in waves over his prostate as his other hand gripped onto his cheek, pulling it to the side.

"Come on baby," Even put a hand on his waist, his palm stroking up and down, "make me feel good."

Isak's mouth opened slightly as he moved forward straight away until Even's cock was between his buttocks, grazing his hole, the head catching at his rim before he moved his hand back, gripping it and placing it where he wanted it, slowly starting to sink down, the grip Even had on his waist and ass tightening as Isak whined until he was halfway down. His hands coming down to Even's chest as his eyes opened, and his breath hitched at the sight. Even was looking at him like no one ever had before, his eyes tracing over every line of his body, his hands starting to move over his chest, his back, his thighs as if he was trying to memorize every mark, every bit of him, as if he was something worth looking at. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see that look in Even's eyes.

Isak  panted at the wide stretch, the burn only serving as more of a turn on, Even's lips parting open as  Isak  slid down a bit more until he stopped, moving his hips in circles as he tried to get used to the size.

"You okay?" Even asked him as he put a hand on his ass cheek, his fingers trailing forward until he rubbed Isak's rim with them, trying to get rid of his discomfort.

"Yeah," Isak moaned as he moved downwards until he bottomed out, his eyes clenched shut and his mouth wide open, "it's just so fucking much."

Even groaned as he ground his hips upwards, Isak whimpering as he grazed his prostate, his hands turning into fists against Even's chest.

Isak moved his hips in small figure eights, trying to get used to the massive length inside of him as his eyes fluttered open and he looked at Even, whose hands were gently placed on his ass, each hand covering one of the perky globes, not moving him or pushing him, just a soft comfort, his fingers occasionally trailing over his rim and rubbing at the strained skin.

"So tight Isak, you feel so good," Even groaned as he tilted his hips upwards lightly, Isak gasping at the overwhelming feeling, his cock buried so deep inside of him he knew he would feel the ache for days to come, but he didn't care.

Lifting himself up slowly, carefully, until only the thick head of Even's dick was inside of him, he kept his eyes locked on Even's and for that small moment, he could see the lust and desire in his eyes, he knew Even wanted him, he knew he still wanted to fuck him even though he fucked someone else only a few days ago, he was still desperate for him, and for once, he felt wanted, he felt desired.

And with that thought, he slammed back on his dick until he was deep inside of him, both of them moaning at the overwhelming sensation.

He set up a rhythm, bouncing on Even's cock, changing the angle until he was hitting his prostate every time, his own dick bobbing slightly as Even controlled himself and stayed still, letting Isak move at his own pace and chase his own pleasure.

Leaning forward, Isak wrapped his arms around Even's neck, his back arching and Even's cock pressed up against just the right spot making his eyes roll into the back of his head. He stopped moving, only grinding in slow circles as he pressed his lips against Even's, languidly making out as he got closer and closer to the edge.

He could barely move his lips, his hips stuttering forward as he kept grinding, desperate for the pressure of Even's dick on his spot. He moved away from him, resting his head on Even's shoulder and whimpering, "fuck Even, so good."

Even groaned and gripped Isak's cheeks firmly, spreading them apart before he started fucking into the smaller boy roughly, Isak moaning loudly at the sudden change of pace, his thighs trembling as he slammed down every time Even moved up, setting up a rhythm which was bringing him closer to the edge.

"You like that baby?" Even groaned into his ear, nipping his earlobe gently and sucking it into his mouth for a moment, "does that feel good?"

Isak nodded as he moaned loudly, the sound echoing in the car as Even kept pounding into him, kneading his ass and suddenly he moved his hand away, bringing it down in a sharp slap, Isak yelping for a second before he moaned, subconsciously arching his back further.

Even brought his hand down, gently moving his palm over the stinging flesh as Isak kept moving his hips up and down, moaning as he spoke, "Ev, do it again, please."

Even's pace faltered, making Isak whine and quicken his own until Even started moving once again with a groan, and once more, he slapped Isak's cheek, Isak moaning loudly and clenching around his cock as Even did it once again, and again until Isak's ass was burning, his skin tingling as Even moved his hands over it, trying to soothe the pain.

"Such a dirty little boy," Even moaned as he started sucking on the skin of Isak's neck.

Isak whimpered as he felt his orgasm approaching rapidly, "Even, I think I'm gonna come."

Even moved his head away, looking up at Isak's dishevelled appearance, "you gonna come on my cock?"

Isak nodded quickly before releasing a moan, his eyes closing shut.

"Come on sweetheart, I know you can do it. Don't even need me to touch your cock, do you? You love getting fucked so much, such a little slut Isak," Even ran his mouth as he quickened his pace, the sound of skin slapping against skin, and the squelching of lube filling the small confines of the car, "be a good boy for me and come."

And with those words, he lifted his hand, and one last time, delivered a harsh slap on Isak's cheek before he gripped it firmly, and with that sensation, Isak could feel the orgasm dragged out of him. He clenched his eyes until he could see stars behind his eyelids; his mouth dropped open, loud moans and whimpers coming out of it; his thighs squeezing and trembling on each side of Even's hips; the strands of Even's hair being squeezed and pulled by his fingers as he shot rope after rope of come all over himself and Even.

"There we go sweetheart, so good, you look so pretty baby," he could hear Even speak as he shook in the midst of the orgasm.

Even slowed his movements down as Isak came down from his high, his come sliding down his cock and Even's stomach, the feeling of the cock inside of him becoming more and more overwhelming with each aborted thrust Even made.

He leaned closer to him, placing his head back into the crook of Even's neck as the older boy ran his hands down his back while Isak caught his breath.

"Is it okay if I move pretty boy? Or is it too much?" Even asked softly before kissing the sensitive skin beneath Isak's ear, making Isak's breath hitch before he nodded slightly.

"It's okay, you can move," he whimpered as Even started thrusting once again, moving slightly to avoid hitting his prostate, but there was no point, Isak could still feel the slow drag of his cock against his walls, his whole body shuddering as Even kept going, chasing his own orgasm, his hands back on Isak's ass.

"Please, Ev," Isak whimpered as he used all his remaining energy to clench his ass tightly around his cock, "please come inside of me."

Even groaned loudly, muttering a 'fuck' as he gripped Isak's butt tightly and thrust upwards, his hips stuttering and his cock pulsating inside of Isak as he finally came into the condom, he moved a few more times, riding his orgasm out until Isak whined from the overstimulation, feeling as if his skin was on fire.

Even kissed his cheek gently, shushing him as he stroked his side with one hand, "it's okay baby, just relax."

He pulled out slowly, Isak's hole clenching around the space he left behind as he whimpered, Even reaching behind him and pulling the condom off, tying it up and throwing it on the seat without care, Isak placed firmly on his lap, his arms wrapped around Even's neck as his body became soft and malleable.

Even wrapped his arms tightly around Isak's waist, pulling him closer to him as he inhaled deeply, softly kissing the hot skin on Isak's neck before speaking, "so good baby, so good for me."

Isak nuzzled further into his neck, slowly steadying his breathing and focusing on Even, his scent, his hands moving up and down his back comfortingly, his lips continuously pressing against his neck, moving up until he kissed his cheek in a gesture much too soft and gentle, and it made Isak's heart clench, the thought of how he had never felt so cared for crossed his mind, and a quiet whimper came out of his mouth.

"You okay?" Even asked straight away, worry bleeding into his voice as he moved his head back to look at Isak, but Isak refused to move, instead tightening his arms around him as he nodded slightly, tears filling his eyes as he took in a shaky breath and gripped the hair at Even's nape, not understanding why he was feeling the way he was.

"It's okay, I'm here, you're alright," Even moved his hand up, threading it through Isak's hair and scratching his scalp as the other one remained on his lower back, moving in slow circles.

Isak  focused on his breathing, trying to control his emotions and just calm down, the steady pressure of Even's hands on him bringing him back to earth, soothing him.

They spent a few moments in silence, holding each other until Isak blinked his eyes open, breathing in deeply and moving his head up, a blush spreading on his cheeks in embarrassment at how he was behaving.

He could feel Even's eyes on him, watching his every movement, observing him, but he couldn't look up.

He looked down to his lap, his hands moving from where they were placed on Even's neck but Even gripped them, moving them back as he waited for Isak to speak.

"Sorry," he whispered as his hands shook lightly where he moved to play with Even's hair.

"Hey," Even spoke softly, gripping Isak's chin and lifting his head, making him look at him, "did I hurt you?"

Isak could see the fear in his eyes, the worry, and he could see it disappear only a little bit as he shook his head vehemently.

"What is it then?" Even moved his hand and placed it on Isak's cheek, gently stroking his thumb over his cheekbone, the action so soft and tender Isak had to look away again.

"Nothing, I just," he stopped and took in a deep breath, "just feeling a bit overwhelmed."

Even nodded slightly before placing his hand on the back of Isak's neck, pulling him in for a gentle kiss, shivers taking over Isak's body as he moved away, leaning his forehead against Even's, his eyes still closed as the third year nuzzled his nose against Isak's, making a smile unfurl on Isak's lips.

"There we go," Even said softly, grazing the pad of his thumb against the corner of Isak's mouth, the younger boy opening his eyes to see a smile on Even's face, his own widening at the sight before he rolled his eyes, batting Even's hand away, the older boy chuckling as he placed his hand on Isak's waist before trailing it downwards to his ass. Isak hissed in pain as his fingertips grazed over the sensitive skin, Even moving his hand away straight away and placing it back on his waist.

"Fuck, sorry," he furrowed his brows as Isak looked at him, "we should put some cream on that so it doesn't hurt."

Isak looked away from him as a blush rose on his cheeks at the reminder of him begging Even to spank him. He darted his tongue out to wet his lips, "it's okay, I'll be fine."

Even groaned and leaned his head back against the seat, "stop being so damn stubborn, just do as you're told."

Isak huffed slightly but kept quiet before looking down, noticing that his come was still splattered all over them, making him look up at Even with raised eyebrows.

Even seemed to notice it as well as he snorted, wrapping his arm around Isak's waist as he leaned forward, getting the tissues from the floor and taking one out of the packet.

He gently cleaned Isak up first, wiping everything off of him before doing the same to himself, taking another tissue out afterwards and wrapping the condom in it, placing it on the seat.

He placed his hands on Isak's thighs as Isak trailed his own down Even's arms before he spoke, "We should get dressed."

Even sighed before gently tapping Isak's thighs, "come on then, get up."

Isak huffed as he moved away from him, gently sitting down and reaching for his clothes discarded on the floor and the front seat, quickly getting dressed as Even did the same.

Even stepped out of the car, stretching slightly with a groan before he shut the door, Isak rushing out and getting in the front seat as Even sat down next to him.

Putting the seatbelt on, he held his jacket in his lap as he squirmed in the seat, his ass still burning.

He could feel Even look at him before he reached over, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, "you sure you're okay?"

Isak took a deep breath as he turned his head towards Even, the third year's hand now pushed through his hair as he trailed his eyes over Isak's features. Nodding slightly, he licked his lips before speaking, "Yeah, I'm good, I'm- I'm sorry about all that."

Pulling on his hair gently to get him out of his thoughts, Even smiled at him in reassurance, "Hey, it's okay. Don't worry about it."

Isak  nodded as he looked down at his lap, still embarrassed at the fact that he was brought to tears simply because someone held him so delicately.

"Do you want to go back to my place?" Even asked as he moved his hand to the back of Isak's neck.

Shaking his head, Isak looked back to him, "no, just drop me off at my place."

Even bit his lip in contemplation before speaking, "you sure? I don't really want to leave you alone if you're still upset."

Isak huffed out a laugh and leaned back against the seat, looking at Even with a small smile, "I'm fine, don't worry about me."

Looking at him for a few more seconds, Even nodded and moved his hand away, starting the car, the engine revving in the dead of the night.

Sitting back, Isak turned the radio on, some random song he didn't know filling the comfortable silence as he shut his eyes, just wanting to go to sleep, the exhaustion of the night catching up to him.

And he must've dozed off because the next thing he knew, he was being gently shaken, making him grumble slightly as he furrowed his brows and raised his hand, rubbing his eyes with a closed fist. He heard a small chuckle to his side, making him look towards it and realize he's still in the car with Even.

He groaned slightly, dropping his hand, "shut the fuck up."

Even  _ ' _ _ awwed _ _ '  _ at him as he turned the car off, making  Isak  scowl in his direction.

"You're so annoying, fuck," he said as he leaned his head back, closing his eyes for a second and inhaling deeply.

Even snorted as he leaned towards him, "Back to being a little shit now, huh?"

Rolling his eyes,  Isak  unbuckled his seatbelt before looking back to Even and smiling, "Goodnight Even."

He opened the door to step out when he heard Even speak, "Sleep well, pretty boy."

Blushing at the pet name, Isak shot him a smile before getting out of the car, slowly walking towards the door to the building, and when he looked back, Even was just then turning the car on, patiently waiting for Isak to get in safely.

With a soft smile, Isak unlocked the door, and rushed to the safety and warmth of his bed, the last thoughts before he drifted off to sleep being those of sure hands, sparkling blue eyes, and a comforting embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....This got a bit long...And smutty... I feel like I'm trying to overcompensate for the fact that there wasn't any Evak smut in the last chapter, so here we are.  
> If you want to send me prompts to write into my fics or write one shots for (doesn't matter how kinky), or if you just want to discuss hc's with me (which I do all the time), then head over to my Tumblr:  isaksforelsket   
> And on Twitter I tend to just bitch:  vandervaltersen 
> 
> As per usual, all your feedback is greatly appreciated since I love talking to you guys in the comments and hearing your thoughts ❤️


	6. dirty little secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, an anon on Tumblr told me it's their birthday today and that they'll pretend like I'm posting this specifically for them, so happy birthday anon, this one's for you!❤️❤️❤️

Even placed the cigarette between his plump lips, lifting his other hand and sheltering it from the harsh wind while he lit it, the flame warming his palm for a moment before he put the lighter away into the pocket of his denim jacket. He inhaled the hot smoke, his chest expanding as it filled up his lungs before he released it, the vapour flowing in front of him before it disappeared into the cold morning air. 

The gravel crunched beneath his feet as he languidly strolled through the courtyard, not really paying attention to his surroundings or particularly caring about them, the fresh start of the week having him feeling exhausted and unready to face anyone, let alone talk to any of his friends after the party he had barely spent any time at the past weekend, having left with Isak somewhat early. 

“Even,” He heard a familiar voice yell out, his pace faltering as he turned to the side at the sound, noticing Chris walking up to him with sluggish steps, clearly just as unwilling to start the week as Even was. Chris hurried his movements when he saw Even stop in his tracks, turning towards him, and waiting for the boy to approach him as he adjusted his sunglasses, pushing them up his nose before he took the cigarette between his two fingers and moved it away from his lips, exhaling the smoke out of the side of his mouth. 

“Hey man,” Even said while raising his hand for a high five, Chris accepting it before they pulled each other into a one-armed hug, Even's hand carefully moving away so as not to burn Chris with his cigarette as they started walking side by side, slowly trotting towards a small group of The Penetrators standing near the entrance to the school. 

He kept smoking as Chris rubbed a hand over his face and groaned, his hands finding their way into the pockets of his hoodie while he spoke, “Fuck, I can’t do this shit. I’m still fucked up from the party.” 

Even snorted after blowing the smoke out, a smirk pulling on his lips, “You weren’t even that drunk.”  

Chris glanced at him with his eyebrows raised as he pulled the strap of his backpack higher over his shoulder, a strand of dark brown hair falling over his forehead, “How the fuck would you know? You disappeared at like midnight or some shit.”  

Even smirked when thoughts of what had happened crossed his mind, remembering fucking the first year in the back of his car. He felt a flash of an unpleasant feeling course through his chest when he recalled what happened afterwards, the tight grip Isak had on him as his body trembled and shaky exhales of breath emitted from his small body before he finally calmed down, all the while Even couldn't stop thinking of what he could do to make it better, how to make Isak okay. 

Even shook himself out of his stupor, trying not to think of that particular moment, as he had been doing ever since he dropped Isak off at his place, instead spending time telling himself that the boy was fine and that he was being a fucking idiot for even worrying or caring so much about him. 

He shrugged his shoulders as his mind returned to the current conversation he was having, licking his lips to wet them before he spoke, “I had better shit to do than to watch you drink yourself to death.” 

Chris huffed as they walked up to the group of The Penetrators, all of them laughing at William who seemed to be getting more and more aggravated as he told a story to them all. 

“There is nothing more important than me, babe,” Chris spoke smugly, bumping his shoulder against Even's. 

With a roll of his eyes, Even took a drag of his cigarette and threw an arm over Chris’s shoulders, pulling him closer to his side as he said, “Of course not my love.” 

Chris shoved him away, a grin on his face as they finally reached the group, being greeted by low rumbles of 'hello's', no one in a particularly good mood to give them an enthusiastic welcome, yet they still managed to find the strength to grin and laugh at the rather moody William. 

Even took one last puff of the cigarette, shutting his eyes and blowing the smoke out slowly before he threw the butt of it away. He listened to the boys carrying on their conversation about the party that had happened the previous weekend, and what exactly they had done, or more specifically who they fucked. 

Yet, when William spoke, it was not to say he took someone to bed with him, instead it was the exact opposite. 

“She told me she’s a lesbian,” He heard William speak, making him snort as he looked over to him to see him leaning against the wall, a scowl on his face as the rest of the guys laughed at his misfortune. 

“The blonde chick?” Chris asked, clearly trying to stifle a laugh before he beamed when William nodded and looked away, a bitter look on his face. 

"So, you threw the fucking party for this girl," Even started with a grin, William already rolling his eyes, "Only for her to tell you she's a lesbian?" 

William leaned back against the wall, his head hitting the bricks as he groaned, the sound getting lost in everyone's laughter. 

“Even still got lucky though,” Adrian laughed after a beat of silence as he poked the bruises covering Even’s neck, making him smirk when he remembered Adrian had no idea whose beautiful lips were creating those during the weekend, the thought filling Even with indescribable satisfaction. 

“At least someone did, all you did was be a fucking creep,” Even grinned as Adrian frowned in confusion and tilted his head, his black curls falling into his eyes as he pursed his lips in thought, apparently unable to recall the moment he crowded against Isak, but Even did, the memory engraved inside his brain, for some reason unbeknownst to him making him clench his fists tightly where they were stuffed in the pockets of his jacket. 

“When did I do that?”  

Even rolled his eyes, luckily not visible beneath his sunglasses, “You pretty much cornered Isak, the kid had to push you off to get you away from him.” 

Adrian snorted at that and waved a dismissive hand, all the guys looking at the interaction, “Ah who cares, he’s a little slut anyways.” 

Even clenched his jaw at the words, trying not to react and keep a cool head even though he didn’t really understand why he was bothered anyways, having heard this kind of talk many times before, yet he couldn't help but ask, “How is he a slut?” 

Adrian waved his hands around before speaking, squinting his eyes as the sun shone in his face, his dark skin shining in the sunlight, “He hooked up with Julian at the party and flirted with Chris straight after, and he probably said something to me as well and that's why I even went near him. And he's like covered in hickeys and shit, so he must've done shit with someone.” 

Even frowned as he felt a flush rise to his face at that, knowing he was the one to put those marks on the first year. He bit his lip and released it as he turned towards Chris, a smirk placed on the dark-haired boys face as he observed the interaction. 

“Seriously?” Even asked incredulously, not believing for a second that Isak would actually flirt with him and then fuck Even straight after. 

“Yup,” he said while nodding, popping the p as he grinned rather smugly, most likely happy that someone brought it up in conversation, allowing him to brag in front of all the guys as they were all aware of the bet going on between him and Adrian. Even watched as most of them nodded at him, some of them even throwing out a 'nice one, man.' 

Even nodded slowly, looking off to the side as he tried to tune out the conversation, his mood being dampened even further, yet he couldn't pinpoint why that was, why this bothered him so much. 

But he still heard Chris speak, “Might as well give up now Adrian, what’s the fucking point? The kid will probably be begging for me to fuck him in a few days.” 

 _That's funny,_ _cause_ _he begs me to fuck him all the fucking time._  

Even bit his lip to stop the hostile words from spilling out of his mouth, even though he desperately wanted to rub it in both their faces, to let them know that he got the boy to spread his legs before them, he wanted to tell them how prettily Isak moans for him, how he bends over for him, how he says his fucking name while he’s coming, no one else's, and definitely not theirs. 

He wanted to let them know that Isak wanted him, not them, the same way he bragged about every other person he had fucked. But, the fact that he was unable to share the information somehow made him want to tell them even more. He needed them to know that he did what they are clearly struggling to do. 

He shook his head to dispel his thoughts, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he turned to Chris, changing the subject and trying to get away from them all as soon as possible, “You coming?”  

Chris pushed his hands further into his pockets as he spoke, “Nah bro, I’ll meet you there.” 

Even nodded, bumping fists with the boy and promptly ignoring everyone else before he turned around hastily and rushed towards the entrance, pulling his sunglasses up and placing them on the top of his head as he opened the door, stepping inside the school and into the swarm of students. 

He walked through the crowd of people, slowly pushing through between the small groups of friends, all of them still chatting away as the bell had not rung yet. But all Even wanted to do was get to the classroom, hoping it was at least a bit quieter and he could relax for at least a few moments, without anyone talking to him or telling him about shit he had no interest in.  

Yet, as if the universe had heard his thoughts and decided to fuck with him, he heard a high pitched voice calling his name, “Even.”  

He rolled his eyes, his nostrils flaring as he took a deep breath, attempting to contain a groan, instead putting on a smile he prayed didn’t look too fake as he looked over to the source of the sound. 

He watched as the dark-haired girl walked up to him with a nervous smile on her petite face, tucking a loose curl behind her ear with carefully manicured fingers and rocking on the balls of her feet restlessly as she finally came to stand in front of him. 

“What’s up?” He asked as he examined her movements, Elise's brown eyes flitting down to the floor for a moment in a nervous gesture. 

Even secretly hoped she’d just fuck off and leave him alone, but he knew what was coming before she even asked, before her plump lips even parted, but then she spoke. 

“Why didn’t you call me back?” She said with a shaky voice, a nervous laugh coming from her straight after as she clutched the straps of her backpack tightly, biting her bottom lip softly and releasing it. 

Even clenched his jaw to calm down, trying his hardest not to roll his eyes at the stupid question and burst out and tell her he didn't care, that he didn't want to have this pointless conversation or explain to her why he did what he did. As if she didn’t know why he didn’t call, as if she wasn't fully aware he got what he wanted and he didn't need her anymore. He didn't need anyone, he didn't want anyone, especially not some random girl he fucked once. 

“I’ve been busy, I’m sorry,” He shot her a genuine smile, not really wanting the girl to be upset no matter how annoying this whole situation was, and deep down he knew that what he was doing wasn't right, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Not about her, or the position he put himself in. 

“So,” she started after a few moments of silence, during which Even diligently looked anywhere but directly at her, instead choosing to observe the students moving through the hall.  

A blush rose on her cheeks as she licked his lips before she continued, “Wanna go out again sometime?” 

And there it was.  

He looked down to the ground, scuffing the tiles with his sneaker while biting his lip for a second before peering back at her nervous, expecting face. And he wondered, if only for a moment, if he should give her a chance. Their date had been pleasant enough, the girl really was kind, funny, and undeniably good looking, yet something inside of him prevented him from doing so, the desperation to keep himself as far away from any sort of relationship prevailing as he spoke. 

“Look, Elise,” he saw her face crumble a bit, the smile she had on her face wavering, the girl already knowing exactly what he was going to say, and that it definitely wouldn't be good, “You’re a really nice girl, and I had a great time with you but I’m not interested in a relationship right now. I just don’t want to be with anyone like that, I’m sorry if I gave you false hope or anything.” 

He watched as her lips parted, colour now covering her cheeks for a reason other than nervousness and her gaze faltering downwards as she let out a simple, “Oh.”  

He bit his lip and grimaced in discomfort, not really knowing what else to say to her to make the situation any better.  

“I’m sorry,” He said once more, although he knew his attempts were futile. 

She took a deep breath and looked up at him, and he could see the anger and embarrassment in her eyes as she crossed her arms against her chest and tilted her chin up in a way that reminded him far too much of Isak, but when she had done it, he found it anything but endearing.  

And then she spoke, interrupting his thoughts, “You know, if all you were interested in was sex you could’ve just said so, instead of taking me out on a date, fucking me, and then just ignoring me as if I don't matter.” 

He raised his eyebrows at the words, lowering them quickly and grimacing slightly when he noticed some people in the hall glancing at them as she carried on speaking, “But no, instead you chose to be an asshole that just uses people for his own needs. So fuck you, Even.” 

The words settled in his mind, consuming his thoughts fully. But he couldn't allow himself to care, he couldn't let himself think about what this girl was saying, so he rolled his eyes in annoyance, more at the situation he put himself in than at her words, and he watched as her mouth dropped open at that.  

Taking a deep breath, he let out a humourless laugh before looking back to her and speaking, “You done?” 

She blinked up at him in shock, her mouth opening and closing several times, and it was clear she didn't know what to say, or how to react, obviously having expected a different reaction from him. 

Even nodded and pursed his lips before sighing, looking straight into her eyes once again. 

“Listen, yeah I took you out and didn’t call back, and I said sorry, and I am. But there’s nothing else I can do about it so I recommend you get over it. We won’t be going out again, and we definitely won’t be fucking again cause let’s face it, I’ve had much, much better than you and I don't settle for anything below average.”

She looked up at him with her mouth wide open before she shut it, biting on her bottom lip to prevent it from trembling, the tears he was sure he could see in her eyes making him regret the things he had said to her, but it was too late now.  

He raised his eyebrows in question, tilting his head to the side, “Okay?” 

She nodded and allowed her gaze to fall downwards, her lip still placed between her teeth as people looked at them both, watching the argument unravel before their eyes. 

“Okay, great,” He said quickly before he walked away from her, not looking back as he shook his head, running a hand through his hair and releasing a deep breath, trying to stop his heart from beating so fast and his mind from reeling. He moved through the crowd, the majority of the people moving out of his way and watching him with judgemental eyes, and he knew what they were thinking. 

 _Player, asshole, cunt, how could he be so mean to such a nice girl?_  

He didn't even have to look at the expressions on their faces, he knew already. 

He released a breath once he reached the classroom and opened the door, his shaky hand gripping the handle. He looked around the room, relief flooding his body as he saw that it was yet to be filled with chattering students. He let the slam shut behind him as he rushed towards his seat in the back and plopped down onto it, setting his backpack on the floor as he took his phone out of the back pocket of his jeans, hoping to distract himself until the lesson started. 

Even clutched his eyes shut when he felt it buzz in his hand, the need to be left alone now becoming rather overwhelming, yet everyone seemed to be feeling the need to say something to him. 

He looked at the bright screen, reading the notification and something compelling him to open the conversation, even though he didn't actually want to talk to anyone and he would usually simply ignore it, but somehow he couldn't this time. 

**Pretty Boy**

_Well, that was fucking brutal._

Even rolled his eyes at the words, yet he felt colour rush to his face at the knowledge that Isak had witnessed the altercation, wishing that the boy wasn't there to hear him say all those things. 

 _Not really._   

He said as he realized he was about to be called an asshole once more. 

_Yes really._

_Bit of an asshole thing to say_   

And there it was. He felt a small smile pull on his lips at how predictable the boy was, at just how easy it was to guess what he was going to say at this point. 

_Which part?_

_All of it_

_But ‘I’ve had much much better’????? Dick move_  

Even snorted before he looked up to see the door opening, other students walking in, all of them glancing at him before averting their gaze, presumably having seen the incident in the hall and not wanting to be the ones on the receiving end of Even's anger. 

He rolled his eyes and sighed as he looked back to his phone, beginning to type once more. 

 _Baby if you want to know if you’re better than her all you have to do is ask._  

 _Ugh I don’t, shut up_   

 _Cause you are_   

He bit his lip in thought, wondering if he should do what he wanted to. But then he realized that he didn't care, and he knew Isak wouldn't care either, and Even could just imagine the gorgeous blush that would appear on those beautiful cheeks as he read Even's message.  

He felt a smirk spread on his face as he typed. 

 _The way you whine and moan when I fill you up, how you grind on my cock, the way sucking me off turns you on as much as it turns me on, the way your legs tremble when I eat that sweet ass of yours, god I want to taste you again, have you writhing on my tongue and begging me to fuck you. Fucking beautiful.  Of course  you're better than her, how could you not be?_  

He watched the three dots appear and disappear several times, the boy apparently not knowing what to reply. He smirked as he realized that his plan had worked, his words having the desired effect on Isak. 

 _Have fun dealing with that hard on while you're in class babe_   

 _Fuck you Even, you really are an ass_   

He snorted at the message and looked up when he heard a familiar laugh, locking his phone as Chris shook his head when the guy he was talking to walked away to take his seat. Chris sat down next to Even, releasing an over-exaggerated sigh when Even pointedly avoided making eye contact with him, but he could see still see Chris smirking out of the corner of his eye until he rolled his eyes, finally looking at him. 

“What?” He spoke exasperatedly, his eyebrows shooting up in the air.  

Chris’s smirk broadened at the tone of his voice, “Heard you broke a heart already today?”  

Even rolled his eyes and put his phone in his jacket pocket, “How the fuck do you already know about that?" 

Chris waved a dismissive hand, "I have my ways, don't question it. Well? What the fuck did you do?" 

Even sighed and looked up at the ceiling before speaking, "I didn’t break anyone’s heart. I just told a girl to fuck off cause she wouldn’t leave me alone after we hooked up.”  

Chris snorted and raised his eyebrows in a disbelieving manner, “Right, that’s not what I heard. Apparently, you tore her to shreds in front of everyone, made her cry and all.” 

Even's heart clenched at the words, guilt filling his mind as he released a sigh and spread his legs under the table, crossing his arms against his chest in an attempt to appear as if he wasn't bothered by it, “Whatever, I don’t care.” 

Chris shrugged, humming at the words, "Okay, cool." 

Chris turned to the side to take his stuff out of his backpack, leaving Even to his own thoughts, allowing the memories of what he had said to flood his mind, Elise's teary eyes stuck inside his head, the sound of her voice calling him out on his bullshit repeating itself constantly. 

No, he didn’t care at all.  

* * *

With a groan, Even dropped his head onto the bed where he was laying on his stomach, his hands still placed on the keyboard of his laptop on which he was diligently trying to do his homework, but the closer he got to the end of it, the more impatient and unfocused he became.

He forced himself to lift his head up and re-read the last sentence he wrote, trying to think of how to carry on, yet his mind remained blank.

But then, he heard his phone ring next to him, the noise forcing him to avert his attention from the task at hand and promptly answer the call as he rolled over onto his back.

"Hello," he rubbed a hand over his face as he spoke, his voice coming out grumbly and deep, making him cough to clear his throat.

"Hey, sweetheart, how are you?" He heard his mom say in a cheery voice.

With a sigh, his hand coming to rest on his stomach as he looked up at the ceiling, "I'm good, doing homework and all that."

"Oh, that's good. I was just calling to ask if you're coming over this Thursday?"

Even bit his lip in thought, the mood he's been in since yesterday still encompassing him and he knew it would only get worse if he was on the receiving end of his mother's interrogations about his life and the way he was handling everything.

"No, I have too much work to do. I'll try to come over during the weekend."

His mom hummed softly, a beat of silence before she spoke, "You have your appointment tomorrow, yes?"

Even shut his eyes, carefully counting backwards from 10 to steady his breathing and calm himself.

"Yes mom, I do."

"Okay," she took a deep breath, staying silent for a few seconds, almost as if she was contemplating something, and Even already knew he wouldn't like what she had to say next.

"Have you heard that Sonja started working?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose, clutching his eyes shut as he tried to stop himself from snapping.

"No mom, I didn't."

"Well she has, she works in an office or something, I don't really know," she paused for a moment, "Maybe you should text her and ask her how it's going."

_Fuck._

He couldn't help but release a groan at that, "Mom..."

"I know, I know," she backtracked quickly, speaking in a calming voice, knowing that Even was growing increasingly more frustrated, "But you used to be so close, I'm sure she'd like to talk to you."

He took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling before speaking, "Have you ever thought that maybe I don't want to talk to her?"

A few seconds ticked by in silence, his mom probably thinking of how to calm the situation and convince him to do what she wanted him to.

"It would still be nice if yo-"

"No, I'm not going to call her or text her and I honestly don't care about what she's doing, so just drop it." He interrupted her, not allowing her to push the matter any further.

She kept quiet for a moment before she took a breath, speaking in a comforting voice in an attempt to soothe him, "Okay, I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't push it."

Guilt filled Even's thoughts immediately, wishing he hadn't snapped at her, knowing that he should've kept his mouth shut.

"I'm sorry too," He said quietly, "I'll talk to you later, I have to go."

He rushed to finish the conversation, just wanting to be alone and not speak, or think.

"Okay sweetheart, have a nice night."

He hung up, throwing his phone to the side and rubbing his hands over his face, trying to get rid of the frustration he felt so that he could carry on with what he was doing before he was interrupted.

But there was no use, he knew now he wouldn't be able to finish his work, he knew all he would do was stare blankly at the screen as his thoughts spiralled and he got even more annoyed with himself and everything around him. 

He sat up, folding his legs beneath him and running a hand through his hair as he looked around the room, trying to think what he should do, how to distract himself.

He glanced to his phone, contemplating calling Chris and telling him to come over so they could get high, but the thought of his friend brought back memories of the things he had heard yesterday morning, Chris's smug grin as he talked about Isak flirting with him at the party, and the thought seemed to irritate Even even further. But then, he had a thought. He bit his lip as he considered his options, contemplating for a few seconds before coming to a decision, quickly grabbing his phone and opening the conversation with the only person he knew would have what he needed right now.

 **Pretty Boy**  

_You home?_

_Yeh, why?_  

_Can I come over?_

_It's a school night dumbass_  

 _Ugh, god shut up. I'll leave before you wake up don't worry_  

_Fine, I'm alone anyways_

_Be there in a half an hour_  

He found himself grinning as he locked his phone, pushing it into the pocket of his hoodie and leaning forward to save his work on his laptop before he closed it, getting off of the bed and placing it on the desk. He lifted his arms in the air, stretching and feeling his joints crack before he rushed through his apartment, not bothering to change his sweatpants, knowing that they will be taken off soon enough anyways. He grabbed the keys to his car from the small table in the living room, desperate to get to Isak's place and forget about everything.

* * *

He bounced on the balls of his feet, his hands in the pockets of his denim jacket and his hood pulled up over his head as he waited for Isak to open the door. Several moments had passed since he knocked and he finally heard quick footsteps approaching. 

He watched as the door opened slowly, a grin spreading on his face as he saw Isak standing there, grey sweatpants hanging low on his hips, a loose white T-shirt enveloping his small body, and the part which was the reason for his wide smile in the first place, the black-rimmed glasses placed on Isak's face. 

"Aw, look at you," he cooed softly as Isak rolled his eyes, stepping to the side and allowing Even to walk inside the apartment. 

"Literally, shut the fuck up," Isak said while closing the door shut, Even leaning against the wall with his palm as he tossed his shoes off, quickly pulling his jacket off and placing it on the hook. 

"I can't help it," He stepped towards Isak, placing his hands on his waist as Isak looked up at him, arching his brow, "You look so fucking cute." 

Isak groaned before fisting the front of Even's hoodie, pulling him lower towards him, "God, I fucking hate you." 

He didn't give Even a chance to say anything as he pressed their lips together, Even's grip on his waist tightening as he crowded against him, opening his mouth straight away as Isak licked along his bottom lip, their tongues sliding against each other as Even started slowly moving them towards Isak's room, taking careful steps forward so as not to crash into anything. 

As they reached his room, Even pushed the door open with his palm, Isak not separating from him as they stepped inside, Even shutting the door behind them with his foot and taking careful steps until the back of Isak's legs hit the bed and he sat down on it. 

"Wait, wait," He heard Isak say against his lips, making him stop and move his head away from him. 

He was just about to ask what was wrong, his brows furrowed in confusion when Isak took his glasses off, placing them on the nightstand before turning the lamp on, the light filling the dark room. Isak put his hands on Even's neck, pulling him back down towards him. 

"If you had broken those I would've killed you I swear." 

Even snorted before pushing Isak down onto the mattress, climbing on top of him and settling between his spread out legs, holding himself up on his forearms situated right next to where Isak's curls fanned out on the blue pillow. 

He traced his gaze over Isak's face, his hand coming up as he brushed his knuckles over his warm cheek, until he trailed it downwards, placing his hand on Isak's pretty little throat, not applying any pressure but still noticing the way Isak's breathing hitched at the light touch. He smiled before leaning in, capturing his lips in a bruising kiss once more as he used his hand to move his head wherever he wanted to, the boy malleable to him and his every whim and desire. 

He felt Isak's hands tracing touches across his back before they slowly moved over his shoulders and to his chest, gripping his hoodie with small but sure hands. 

Isak broke the kiss for a moment, Even immediately moving his head to the side as he ducked down, sucking and kissing the delicate skin of his neck. 

"Fuck," Isak started, cut off when Even sucked particularly hard on a rather sensitive spot, grazing his teeth over it before pressing his lips against it, knowing that new bruises would be covering the skin tomorrow, right next to the ones he had made the last time. 

"God, why the fuck are you wearing this thing? I fucking hate it," Isak groaned out, his hands pulling on the hem of his hoodie, making Even smirk before he lifted his head, kissing him once more. 

"You literally have the same exact one," Even said between kisses. 

"No, I don't," Isak whimpered when Even nipped his bottom lip, taking a shaky inhale of breath when Even lifted his head to look at him.  

"I threw it away," He said as he tried to pull Even down by gripping the hair at Even's nape. 

Even's mouth dropped open in offence before a laugh escaped his lips, Isak rolling his eyes as he tilted his chin up. 

"What the fuck, you little shit?" He pressed a kiss to his lips as Isak wrapped his arms around his neck. 

"I gave you that to remember me by," He said softly while sliding his hand down Isak's waist until he reached his thick thigh, his fingertips digging into it as he hitched it higher above his waist, Isak's back arching at that and allowing Even to feel just how turned on he was. 

"I don't want to remember you," Isak whispered quietly before dragging Even down to his lips, swallowing whatever words Even meant to speak. 

Even hummed into the kiss, slowly grinding his hips in circles against Isak's crotch as he felt the boy tremble beneath him, whimpering when Even pushed a hand through his curls, pulling on the strands of it. 

He felt the sounds Isak let out vibrate against his lips, the boy wrapping his legs around Even's waist, tilting his hips up and bringing them closer together, already so worked up and desperate. 

Even sat up, pulling on the hem of Isak's T-shirt and pulling it off of him, throwing it down to the floor as Isak dragged him back down on top, trying to grind upwards to get some pressure on his dick. 

Even moved his hand away from where it was stroking Isak's waist, moving it towards where he knew the nightstand was until he gripped the handle on the drawer, pulling it open and reaching inside of it in search of the lube, all the while not breaking contact with Isak's lips. 

His fingertips grazed against something, making his eyebrows furrow at the contact while he reached forward towards the object, his eyes shooting open and his head snapping to the side quickly as he leant up on his elbow when he gripped the article and realized what it was. 

He looked towards the drawer, his hand not moving from within it as he heard Isak whine in discontent at Even breaking the kiss and not paying attention to him. 

A sly grin spread on his face, his eyes turning towards Isak as the boy looked up at him with furrowed brows, his bottom lip sticking out in a rather adorable pout. 

"So," Even started as Isak's expression grew more and more confused at why Even wasn't kissing him, "I guess you don't really need me that much, huh?" 

Isak's frown deepened, his lips parting a tiny bit, and then Even pulled his hand out of the drawer, drawing Isak's gaze towards it. 

His mouth dropped open and his eyes widened at the sight of the dildo in Even's hand, the boy reaching forward to put it away but Even moved his arm further away from him, Isak looking up at him with a scandalized look on his face. 

Even opened his mouth to speak, but Isak interrupted him, his head shaking vehemently as he placed a hand over Even's mouth and glared at him, "Do not, don't say a word." 

He rolled his eyes as the boy kept a hand on him, making him stick his tongue out and lick his palm, Isak pulling away immediately with a grimace on his face. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you? How old are you?" He spoke as he wiped his hand on the sheets, pointedly not looking at Even. 

"Old enough to know that you're a dirty little boy," He said with a smirk, reminding Isak once more of what he held in his hand, and making the redness of his face grow greater as he dropped his hands from where they held onto Even's hoodie, now gripping the sheets beneath him. 

"Its none of your business what I do," Isak tilted his chin up in defiance, still refusing to make eye contact with Even as he looked off to the side. 

Even hummed lightly, pursing his lips and nodding, "True, but I kind of want to see you use it now." 

That got Isak's attention, making him snap his head towards Even, his mouth opening and closing as if he didn't know what to say to the proposal. 

"What the fuck?" He spluttered out as Even rolled his eyes at his innocence. 

"I just think," He leaned forward, trailing his nose over his cheek, leaving light kisses on the skin before he reached his ear, nipping his earlobe before whispering, "Seeing you fuck yourself with this would be so fucking hot." 

Isak looked down, his hands coming up and his fingers toying with the strings on Even's hoodie in a nervous gesture, his teeth digging into his bottom lip as he scrunched up his nose for a second, making a smile appear on Even's face as he observed him. 

Even watched him contemplate his decision, most likely overthinking this situation, but Even could see that the only reason he was resisting was nervousness rather than actual reluctance and disinterest in the offer. 

"You always look so pretty when I fuck you, baby," He started, pressing a kiss to the corner of Isak's pouty mouth, "let me see if you look even better when you make yourself feel good." 

He placed the toy on the side of the bed, his hands finding their way across Isak's smooth chest, travelling downwards until he found his nipples, slowly trailing circles around them until they turned into stiff peaks and he was able to pinch them, his fingernail lightly digging into it, Isak's breath hitching at the feeling, his hands trembling where he placed them on Even's neck. 

He licked and kissed his way over his stomach, his tongue dipping into his navel before he moved on, pressing his lips onto his hip, his other hand running down his side as he sucked on the skin, knowing that he was leaving marks on the boy, knowing that purple would show at that exact spot tomorrow morning. 

Even pushed his fingers into the waistband of Isak's sweatpants, pulling them back and allowing them to snap back against his skin, Isak whimpering at the feeling. Even sat up and pulled them down Isak's long, pale legs. He moved his hands over his legs, running down the smooth skin before reaching his boxers, slowly pulling them off as well, Isak's cock slapping against his toned stomach, and Even couldn't help but notice just how wet the tip was.  

He leant down, wrapping his hands around Isak's thighs and kissing and licking the soft skin until he suddenly pushed Isak's thighs up to his chest, exposing his pink tight hole fully. 

"Even," Isak whimpered out as his hands covered Even's where he was holding Isak's legs up. 

"Shh," He leant forward, placing a kiss on his perineum, listening to Isak whine as he dropped his hands onto the bed, "It's okay baby, I'll take care of you." 

He licked wide across his hole with a flat tongue, stopping just beneath his balls as Isak pushed his hands through Even's hair, gripping the strands and keeping him in place. 

He flicked his tongue around Isak's rim, slowly circling the entrance but not making any contact with it, Isak whining and trying to push his head further between his cheeks at that. 

Raising his hand, he slapped his thick thigh gently, Isak whimpering at the contact but stilling immediately, allowing Even to point his tongue and push it in, the ring of muscles tight around him and pushing him out straight away. 

He switched between wide, long licks and quick movements with his tongue, determined to reduce Isak to a trembling mess, spit dripping down his chin as he enthusiastically licked Isak's hole. And he finally succeeded at his attempts when he placed his lips over his hole and sucked, softly nipping the rim before soothing it with his tongue, dipping it inside of the boy and tasting him, moaning at how tight he was around him. 

"Even," Isak took in a shaky breath, breaking off into a moan as Even hummed against his rim, applying kitten licks on the edge of his entrance. 

"Please, fuck me," Isak begged as Even moved upwards, taking his balls into his mouth one by one, swirling his tongue over them as Isak moaned loudly.  

He released them before moving down again, watching Isak's hole twitch as he moved his thumb over it, pushing in slightly before he pulled away. 

With one final swipe of his tongue, Even moved away, kneeling back and wiping his mouth and the spit dripping down his chin with the back of his hand, his gaze focused on the boy in front of him. 

He leaned forward, grabbing the bottle of lube from the previously opened drawer, quickly uncapping it and pouring it over his fingers, rubbing them and heating the liquid up, not wanting it to be too cold for Isak. 

He softly massaged the pads of two of his fingers over Isak's rim, gripping Isak's leg and placing it on his shoulder, rubbing a hand against his soft smooth calf, moving his head and pressing a kiss to the skin while slowly pushing a finger inside of him. 

A whine came out of the boy, his back arching as he let his other leg fall to the side, spreading himself wider as Even's finger slowly moved inside of him, grazing his prostate every time until he could feel him loosen up, allowing him to stick another digit in, gently scissoring his fingers until he was pumping them in and out, the squelching sounds of the lube filling the room alongside Isak's loud moans 

Once he felt he was loose enough, Even pulled his fingers out of him, knowing that the dildo Isak would use wasn't as big as his cock so he didn't have to stretch him any more.  

Isak whined at the loss before he focused his glazed over eyes on Even and what he was doing, following his every movement. 

He gripped the discarded toy from the crumpled up bed sheets, lifting it up for Isak to see. 

"Can I?" He asked gently, not wanting to do anything Isak wasn't comfortable with, only caring about the boy's pleasure, but he couldn't help but hope and pray that Isak would say yes. 

He watched as Isak bit his bottom lip, taking in a shaky breath before nodding at him and spreading his legs further. 

Even uncapped the lube once more and poured some onto the dildo, moving his hand over it and covering it completely, leaving it wet and glistening. 

He shuffled forward, his dry hand pushing Isak's thigh up before he slid his palm down, his thumb pulling Isak's cheek to the side as he glided the tip of the dildo over Isak's hole, letting it catch on his rim before he pushed, his body opening up beautifully, his back arching and his mouth dropping open at the intrusion. 

As the tip slid fully in, Even gently grabbed Isak's hand, the boy looking at him with hazy eyes as Even pulled his hand down, placing it on the base of the toy and moving away from him. 

"Come on angel," He said as Isak took a deep breath, "Show me how you play with yourself." 

He stood from the bed quickly, pulling his pants and boxers off, not bothering with taking his hoodie off as he did not want to miss a single second of this, he didn't want to miss the way Isak's eyes fluttered shut as he placed his feet on the bed, his toes curling while he slowly pushed the toy deeper inside of himself, a whimper coming out with every inch going in. 

Even sat between his legs, his cock brushing against the fabric of his hoodie as his hand rubbed soothing circles on Isak's inner thigh until the toy was fully in, Isak's breathing coming out ragged, his chest falling and rising quickly until he angled the dildo, releasing a loud moan at that and his thighs trembling. 

"There you go Isak, such a good boy, you look so fucking pretty like this," He spoke while moving one of his hands and gripping his now painfully hard cock at the base, groaning at the contact and the sense of relief, having previously forgotten completely about himself, focusing only on Isak's needs and ignoring his own. 

He kneeled in front of him, his eyes not looking away from where Isak was now pulling the toy out, only to push it back in, setting up a quick pace, moaning with every thrust forward, his legs lifting from the bed as he pulled them up towards his chest. 

"Keep going baby, that's it," Even encouraged him as his palm slid over the tip of his dick, dragging all the pre-cum down as he fought to keep his eyes open, to keep looking at Isak and not throw his head back in bliss. 

Isak's knuckles turned white where he was gripping the toy, his cock twitching and releasing a steady flow of precum onto his stomach, making Even want to lean forward and taste it, see if it's as good as he remembers, but he couldn't. He didn't want to take his eyes off of this beautiful creature showing him the most intimate part of himself, what he does in those dark hours of the night when he's all alone when he is focused on nothing but his own ecstasy. So he kept looking, he kept watching the toy disappear inside of his tight hole as he jerked himself off, his thumb rubbing on the underside of his cock and making shivers run through on his body. 

His breathing was coming out ragged as Isak dropped his legs, his back arching and his head thrown back onto the pillow, beautiful moans coming out of his parted lips, a sheen of sweat covering his body, the orange glow coming from the lamp beside him illuminating his skin. 

Even's eyes flitted over every inch of Isak's skin, memorizing every bit of him, every mark, every part of his beautiful body that he wished to remember for the rest of his life.  

He licked his lips and released a groan, Isak's eyes flitting open and looking up at him before he spoke with a trembling voice, "Even, please, I need you." 

With a groan, Even released his cock, shuffling forward until he leaned over Isak's shaky figure, capturing his lips in a kiss, sliding his tongue against Isak's as his hand travelled down his body until he reached the toy, pushing Isak's small hand away and gripping it, pushing it deeper inside of the boy, making Isak release a gasp of pleasure and throw his head back against the pillow, moaning as Even started to move. 

"Yeah, fuck, that's it Isak," He started to talk as he leaned back away from him, kneeling back and watching as he kept moving the dildo inside of Isak. 

"Does that feel good angel?" 

Even watched as Isak nodded furiously, his hands coming down and gripping the sheets tightly. 

"God, you're so fucking beautiful, look at you, such a pretty little boy Isak. You look so good with this fucking toy splitting you open, but you look even better with my cock inside of you. Bet you'd love that, huh? You want me to fuck you baby?" 

Isak looked up at him with teary eyes, drops covering his long dark eyelashes as he bit his lip and nodded. 

Even looked down to his hole, his rim stretched out and pink and so fucking inviting. But still, he grinned as he spoke, "No, I don't think I will." 

The aborted sob Isak let out almost changed his mind, a high pitched whine coming out of him straight after when Even gave a particularly harsh thrust. 

"Please, fuck, please Even fuck me, I need you inside of me, please give me it," Isak begged, the words making Even's neglected cock twitch. 

"I don't think you've earned it angel," Even said with a smirk as Isak whimpered, "I think you should come just like this." 

Isak moaned loudly when Even quickened his movements, his wrist starting to hurt from the continuous thrusts but he knew he had to keep going. He moved forward, and right as Isak's eyes closed shut, he gripped his dick tightly, moving his hand up and down as he kept pushing the toy in and out at the same time. 

He twisted his wrist on the upstrokes, desperate to bring Isak to the edge, the dildo grazing his prostate every time he shoved it further inside of him. 

He glanced down for a second, noticing the pre-cum leaking from the tip of his own painfully hard cock, the head of it red and desperate for a release. 

"Even," Isak whimpered out, "I'm gonna come." 

Even groaned at that, fastening his movements and biting his lip as Isak writhed on the sheets. 

"Come on baby, show me how pretty you look when you come, show me how good it feels," Even spoke, trying to push Isak over the edge. 

And, a few moments later, he watched as the boy's mouth dropped open, his back arching almost painfully and his thighs shaking as come flew out of his hard cock, sliding down Even's knuckles and down onto Isak's stomach. 

He slowed his pace down, still moving the dildo where he knew Isak's prostate was, still gripping his pulsing cock until Isak whimpered and whined from the overstimulation, writhing and trying to move away. 

"It's okay baby, such a good boy. You look so beautiful, Isak," He spoke in a soft voice as he released his dick, slowly starting to pull the toy out of him until he could throw it to the side.  

And he didn't think he'd ever been more honest when saying something. Isak's hair curled at the edges from the sweat; come covered his slim waist as his dick lay against it, softening slowly; his rim was glistening from the lube, fluttering around the space the toy left behind; those beautiful green eyes were hazy and filled with desire and lust, and fuck, Even thought he could stare at them forever. 

But then he moved and remembered his cock was almost painful from how hard he wanted to come. He gripped it tightly, a shaky exhale coming out from him at the contact and his eyes focusing on Isak's ass. He reached forward, pulling his cheek to the side as he continued to stroke himself. 

"Even," He heard Isak say with a quiet, tired voice, making him look up at the boy as he jerked himself off. 

"Come in my mouth, please," Isak whimpered out, Even's cock twitching at the words as he went to lay on the bed. 

"No, no," Isak said as he gripped his sleeve with his hand, "Come here." 

He patted his chest lightly, Even whispering out a strained 'fuck' as he straddled him, jerking his cock off right in front of Isak's pretty face as Isak's hands gripped the back of his thighs. 

He slid his thumb over the head, quickening his pace as he pushed his hand through Isak's hair, gripping the curls and moving his head back. 

"Open your mouth, pretty boy," He groaned out as Isak did as he was told, bringing him closer to the edge. 

"Fuck Isak, you look so fucking good. Stick your tongue out baby." 

As he watched Isak laying there, his expression relaxed and his eyes focused on the quick movements of Even's hand over his cock, Even couldn't hold it in any longer. 

"Isak, fuck, I'm gonna come." 

Isak whimpered and lifted his head up as much as he could, the tip of Even's dick right on his tongue, and then he looked up, those green eyes peering up at him and Even felt his orgasm roll out of him. His eyes closing shut as his come shot onto Isak's tongue, some of it dripping down his cheeks as the boy moaned while Even stroked himself through his high. 

He glanced down at the boy, his mouth still opened as Even moved the head of his dick over his lips, slowly, carefully, until Isak closed them around it, swirling his tongue around it and licking all the come off before Even pulled away, the younger boy swallowing it all. 

Leaning back, Even reached down, wiping all the come off of his cheeks with his thumb before he pushed it between Isak's lips, making him lick it off. 

He moved his hand, gently grazing the back of his knuckles over Isak's soft face. 

"You're so fucking pretty," He said more tenderly than he intended it to sound, but it was the truth. 

Isak glanced down as Even moved away from him, immediately reaching for the tissues placed in the same spot they always were. He slowly cleaned Isak up, lifting his leg up and cleaning him of the lube, placing a soft kiss on his knee as he let it fall to the bed. 

He leaned forward, holding himself up on his elbow as he used his other hand to push Isak's curls away from his face before moving towards him, placing a gentle kiss to his lips, leaning his forehead against Isak's and nuzzling their noses together. 

"You good?" He asked quietly, Isak humming softly and nodding before moving his hand up, placing it on Even's neck, his fingers pushed up into his hair. 

"Come on," Even said, softly tapping Isak's cheek, "Let's get to bed." 

He sat up, pulling his hoodie off and throwing it onto the floor before looking to the side, about to pull the covers down--as Isak was already getting underneath them--when he noticed the dildo still discarded on the sheets. 

He huffed and took it in his hand, raising an eyebrow in Isak's direction. 

"So, where do I put this?" 

Isak groaned, throwing an arm over his eyes as he pulled the covers up to his neck, "Just put it in the drawer, I'll take care of it tomorrow." 

Even leaned over him, placing the toy in the nightstand and turning the lamp off before he slid in under the sheets, laying on his side as he watched Isak do the same, both of them facing each other. 

He moved his hand, tucking a strand of hair behind Isak's ear, the first year releasing a content sigh as he shuffled closer to him, nuzzling into his chest as Even huffed out a laugh, moving to lay on his back and pulling Isak in towards him, the boy placing his head on Even's chest and his hand on his stomach. 

"I can't believe I didn't know you have that," He said with a grin as Isak groaned quietly. 

"You don't need to know anything about me Even, you don't have to care about me enough to want to know anything," Isak whispered into the dark. 

Even's grip around his shoulders tightened at the words, an unsettling feeling enveloping him as he heard Isak sigh and move his leg over Even's. 

"No," He said as he closed his eyes, "I guess I don't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Well this one turned out quite long, but oh well. I just like writing this sort of dynamic ok shush  
> But, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter, anything that happened in it. What do you think? 
> 
> If you have any questions about this or any other of my fics, OR if you have any prompts/headcanons you'd like me to either put in some of my fics OR write a one shot for, or if you just want to talk about hc's, you can head over to my tumblr:  isaksforelsket   
> Twitter: vandervaltersen


	7. temporary distractions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've kind of talked about a situation similar to the one at the end on Tumblr with an anon, I don't know if they're still reading the fic but if they are this one is for them!!

Isak groaned and pushed his head into the soft pillow placed beneath his head as he heard the alarm go off, waking him up from the deep sleep he had fallen into the previous night after his and Even's exertions. He moved his arm around until his hand landed on his phone, his fingers trailing all over the screen until he somehow managed to turn the alarm off, silence filling the room once more. 

He turned around in his bed, hoping to get at least 5 more minutes of rest until he had to force himself to get up. As he nudged his face against the blanket covering him, his hand moving to the side, he frowned slightly. He opened his eyes and noticed the emptiness of the bed, the covers were thrown over and the blue pillow now cold. Isak huffed at that before flipping over to lay on his back, frowning at his reaction, realizing that Even had done exactly what Isak had wanted him to do. He shook his head, the thoughts disappearing from his sluggish mind while he rubbed a hand over his face and his tired eyes.

But luckily, he wasn’t as tired as he normally was. The sleep he had gotten the night before seemed to revive his senses and make him feel normal once more, make him feel as if he wasn’t yearning to simply lay back in bed again and not get up. He sat up with a sigh, the blankets falling off of his bare chest and pooling around his waist, reminding him of his stark nudity, and making him praise every deity that Eskild had not walked into his room as he usually does.

As he ran a hand through his tangled hair, he looked around the floor of his room until he spotted the clothes Even had practically ripped off of him last night. A shudder went through him at the thought of what had happened, the third year finding out about what he does when there is no one there to please him, when it’s just him and his filthy thoughts, and occasionally a video helping him bring himself to the peak of ecstasy. He felt a blush creep up on his cheeks as he glanced towards the now closed drawer, the toy safely hidden inside of it.

He crawled out of bed with slow movements, annoyance at having to actually leave the warm place enveloping him completely. He walked over to his closet and took out some clean boxers and a T-shirt, swiftly pulling them both on before he stumbled over to the door, rubbing a closed fist over his eye as he took slow steps down the hall and entered the bathroom, luckily finding it unoccupied.

While he brushed his teeth, he stared at his reflection in the mirror, his hand stopping its movements when he noticed the colours covering his neck, undeniable marks made by a pair of luscious lips. He inhaled through his nose before spitting the toothpaste out, washing his mouth and face before looking back to the mirror, his fingers trailing over the purple shades as he tilted his head to the side, heat filling his cheeks at the memories of what had lead to those being made. 

Quickly rushing out of the bathroom, he went back to his room, grabbing a pair of jeans and pulling them over his legs, and as he went to zip them up, he noticed the marks covering his hips in the large mirror on his closet, his fingers brushing over them before he groaned and buttoned up his pants and grabbed his phone and his backpack, leaving the room while checking the time, releasing a sigh of relief when he realized he still had a few minutes left before he had to force himself to leave the apartment.

He trotted into the kitchen, needing some food in his system. And as he stepped into the room, his eyes fell upon Eskild, sitting in the corner at the small table with a laptop in front of him, diligently typing and taking a sip of his drink before he glanced up at Isak, his eyebrows raising up in the air as he placed the cup back down onto the table.

“Morning, Issy baby,” He chirped happily, a strange note to his voice that told Isak he had something he wanted to talk about. And it only made Isak want to get the fuck out faster.

He hummed in greeting and quickly opened the cupboard, looking at the shelf with his name written on it and taking stock of the small amount of produce piled on top of it before he reached forward, standing on his tiptoes and grabbing a granola bar, shutting the cupboard as he moved away and leaned back against the counter.

“What are you doing up so early?” He asked while pulling the strap of his backpack higher, opening the bar and taking a bite of it straight away.

“I have an essay I need to finish,” Eskild said, still typing and biting his lip to contain what seemed to be a smirk. Isak frowned at that, about to leave when he realized Eskild was about to say something, something he was sure he didn't want to hear this early in the morning, but luckily, Noora saved him, walking into the kitchen already ready to leave, her outfit as pristine as always, her lipstick painting her lips red.

“Morning,” She said cheerily as she opened the fridge, taking out a bottle of cold water.

“Do you guys wanna do anything in the afternoon?” Eskild said while leaning back in his chair, eyeing them both up and apparently giving up on talking to Isak now that Noora was in the room, making the younger boy even more scared of what it was that he wanted to say.

“I think I’m going to Eva’s after school,” Isak said while shaking his head, watching as Noora’s face lit up at the mention of the redhead, her eyes sparkling bright and her lips pulling up in a smile.

“Oh?” She said with a soft voice as Isak arched his brow in her direction, slowly chewing and watching Eskild roll his eyes.

“Yeah,” Isak nodded slowly, Noora opening her mouth to say something, but Eskild interrupted her.

“Why so curious, Noora? Are you jealous that someone else is spending time with your girlfriend?” 

Isak smirked when she turned around, her chin tilted up in the air as she put a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

“Nei,” She said, Eskild raising his eyebrows in the air at that, “She’s not my girlfriend.”

Isak looked down onto the floor before throwing the wrapper into the trash, looking up at her with a grin.

“Not yet.”

She huffed in annoyance and flicked her hair over her shoulder, awkwardly moving her hand around in the air before she spluttered out, “Shut up.”

Both Isak and Eskild snorted at that and watched her leave the kitchen, Isak about to follow after her when Eskild stopped him.

“So, Isak,” Isak looked at him and watched as a smirk spread on his face, making Isak raise his eyebrows up in question.

“Who’s Even?” Eskild said with a grin, Isak’s mouth dropping open at the question, heat filling his cheeks as Eskild placed his elbow on the table, leaning his head on his palm and smiling up at him sweetly.

“How do you know him?” Isak asked, his voice cracking at the end and making him cough awkwardly as he shuffled on his feet, his heartbeat speeding up at the fact that someone knew, Eskild knew about them. Which meant that Noora might know as well.

_ Fuck. _

“I saw him sneaking out of the apartment this morning, honestly I thought I picked him up last night or something but fuck, I couldn't remember. And obviously Noora won't fuck him, and then I thought maybe it was Linn. But Linn really isn't in the mood to fuck now, for a change,” Eskild babbled on, his hand swinging in the air as Isak gaped at him in shock, Eskild apparently oblivious to the fact that he was rambling.  


“Eskild, what the fuck does this have anything to do with this?”

“God you’re no fun,” Eskild rolled his eyes, “Anyways, your little boyfriend was about to leave when I saw him and, as a good host, I went up to him and said hi. He was very nice Issy, you have good taste, nice smile, pretty eyes, very firm grip, you lucky bitch.”

Eskild winked at him as Isak's entire face burned hot, and he was positive his skin was red all the way up to the tips of his ears.

"He’s not my boyfriend.”

Eskild hummed and nodded, the arch of his brow and his pursed lips clearly telling Isak that he didn’t believe him but decided not to say anything about it.

“So, fuck buddy then?”

Isak groaned and rubbed a hand over his face, feeling more uncomfortable than ever before at the fact that he was actually talking about this with someone, and it had to be Eskild, of course.

“Why does he have to be anything? Maybe he’s just a friend that stayed over.”

“Cause, first of all, you’re blushing like crazy, it's cute you're getting all flustered over him,” Eskild said with a smirk as Isak lifted his hand up, rubbing his cheek as if he was trying to will the redness away, ”And I can see the marks on your neck, and he had the matching ones.”

Isak groaned and tilted his head back, shutting his eyes in frustration before looking back at a rather pleased looking Eskild.

“And he was hot as fuck, I’d be so disappointed if you didn’t snatch him up.”

"I'm not 'flustered' or whatever over him, I don't care about him."

Eskild just nodded at him slowly, his features clearly displaying his disbelief.

Isak sighed at that, shaking his head and looking down onto the floor and regretting not leaving the flat with Noora.

_ Fuck. _

His eyes widened as he remembered the girl, and he knew that she was aware of who Even was, the third year having quite the reputation at school, and even if she somehow wasn't aware of who he was, she’d probably tell someone about 'the blonde James Dean lookalike' being in the flat, she’ll probably confide in Eva and then she’ll tell Jonas and then... Everything will be fucked.

Isak looked up at Eskild, his tongue darting out as he wet his lips before asking carefully, “Did Noora see him?”

Eskild shook his head before taking a sip from his mug, placing both his elbows on the table and holding it up, “No, I ran into him pretty early, no one else saw him.”

Isak released a breath of relief, nodding slightly, and watching as an understanding smile spread on Eskild's face.

“Can you not tell anyone he was here? I don’t want anyone to know we’re, you know,” Isak paused and tilted his head to the side, “Hooking up.”

Eskild observed him for a moment before nodding, “Sure, I won’t say a word.”

Isak nodded, rubbing a hand over his eyes before sighing in relief.

"Is he good though?" Eskild said suddenly, making Isak's head shoot up towards him as the older boy carried on, "He seems like he'd be good. Do you know what rimming-"

"No, nope, I'm not doing this, bye," Isak said before practically running out of the kitchen, hearing Eskild snicker behind him as he cursed and grabbed his scarf, rushing to catch the tram.

* * *

Isak slowly walked into the tram, his gaze still directed downwards towards his phone, his thumb hovering over the keyboard as he read the last message his dad had sent him.

_ ‘I sent the money.’ _

That’s it, nothing else. Isak bit his lip to contain a frustrated groan as he gripped the pole and held on tightly when the vehicle started to move, his brows furrowing while he tried to think of what to say, how to get his father to actually do him a favour and send him money at the start of the month for once, allowing him to spend the rest of the days without the stress of worrying whether he’ll have to apologize to Eskild once again or not.

“Halla, pretty boy,” He heard a deep voice rumble right next to him, making him jump slightly before he looked up to see Even’s face split up by a wide grin, his head tilted to the side as he observed Isak and his shocked expression.

Isak sighed, shutting his eyes for only a second before looking back up at Even, giving him a visibly fake smile and speaking with a bored voice, “Hi.”

Even’s smirk widened at that, his eyes moving over Isak’s face and down his body, making him squirm and look down as he felt a blush cover his face, hoping that Even would believe it was because of the cold and not because of the third year being so blatant about checking him out.

Suddenly, Isak felt a hand pulling his scarf down, making him splutter and look up, batting Even’s hand away as the boy laughed at his reaction before arching his brow in Isak's direction.

“What?” Isak snapped at him, a frown on his face as Even cooed at him, grazing his knuckles over Isak’s cheeks before pulling back when Isak moved his head further away from him.

“Were you wearing that thing all day?” He tugged on the hem of his scarf slightly, making Isak frown up at him.

“Hiding all those marks I left on you? I was proud of those, dammit, I can't believe you're not showing them off.”

“Ugh, god just shut up.” Isak looked out the window, dutifully ignoring Even’s gaze on him, but he couldn’t help but look towards him when the older boy averted his eyes to where Isak was looking only a moment earlier. Isak trailed his gaze over his features--- the slope of his nose; the plumpness of his lips making him bite his own and remember how they felt on his skin; the long eyelashes fluttering as Even blinked; the sharpness of his jawline leading to the marks which Isak had left before, making him blush at the memory. Even looked back towards him, Isak quickly averting his gaze downwards and shuffling on his feet, trying to act as if he had not been caught staring.

After a beat of silence, Even spoke, “I met your roommate this morning. Eskild, right?”

Isak looked up at him, nodding in confirmation.

“He seems nice,” Even said with a smile.

“He is,” Isak smiled at him as Even’s eyes twinkled at the words before he bit his lip in thought, a sheepish look appearing on his features.

“You don’t mind that he knows, right? I thought that no one was up, I would've waited until he left if I knew, sorry,” Even spoke, and Isak thought he had never seemed more sincere, honesty seeping through every line on his face, his expression almost appearing nervous as he awaited for Isak to answer, and Isak knew in that moment that he didn’t care, and he felt a smile appear on his face, not even noticing that he had subconsciously shuffled closer to Even, their chests almost touching where they stood.

“No, it’s okay,” He licked his lips, watching as Even’s eyes traced the movement, “He won’t tell anyone, he’s chill.”

Even nodded, pursing his lips and bouncing on the balls of his feet before speaking, “How the fuck do you even know him? He’s like in his 20’s or something.”

Isak bit his bottom lip, sighing before speaking teasingly, “Yeah, that’s a long story and I don’t care for you enough to tell you it.”

Even rolled his eyes at that, shaking his head with an exasperated smile on his face before looking back to Isak, lifting his brows up once, a quick up and down movement.

“Okay. Well, when you do start caring, you can tell me then. We both know it's going to happen, I am very lovable, you know?”

Isak shook his head in exasperation, looking down to the filthy floor of the tram and sighing. He stumbled forward from the movement of the tram and bumped into Even’s chest, the older boys arm wrapping around his waist before he moved it, his hand remaining on the dip of it as a blush spread on Isak's face and he looked up, mumbling out a soft sorry when he noticed Even looking down at him with a grin, the smaller boy shyly glancing back down while Even moved his hand away.

Isak counted down the seconds they spent not speaking--- the silence seemed far too loud in his mind, he could practically hear Even's heartbeat, he could hear every inhale and exhale of breath from the third year, and he couldn’t stand it, he couldn’t stand the quiet between them.

“Are you going home?” He stuttered out, watching Even lift up his eyebrows in shock as he looked at Isak before his tongue flicked out and he looked away, a strange sort of emotion filling Even's features as he shuffled on his feet and shook his head, and straight away Isak regretted asking when he noticed the apprehension, and something akin to fear, showing on his face.

Isak looked down awkwardly, tension rising between them yet he didn’t know why. He didn't know why a simple question like that would cause Even to pull back from him. He kept stealing glances at Even, trying to figure him out, desperately thinking of why Even's mood changed, and then he realized what it was. It wasn’t the question itself that bothered the older boy, it was the fact that Isak was the one asking it--- it was the fact that Even didn’t want Isak to ask questions or know anything about him, it was Isak doing something he shouldn't have done, trying to connect, whether he realized he was doing it or not, Even must've thought that's what he was doing. Isak bit his bottom lip and kept his gaze facing downwards, willing himself not to even look at the third year as he knew Even didn’t want him to, after all, this isn’t what it was all about. They were not meant to talk or be friendly, and for some reason the thought had Isak feeling a certain type of pressure constricting his lungs.

He gripped the pole tighter as he rocked where he stood, slowly moving further away from Even, sensing his gaze on him as he kept looking down onto the floor.

Suddenly, he felt the tram stop and Even moved away from him, and he couldn’t help but look up, something forcing him to watch as Even took a step away from him, and as he stood there, seemingly transfixed, Even turned his head towards him and smirked when he caught Isak looking, making Isak roll his eyes while a brush spread on his face before looking back at Even.

“I’ll see you around, pretty boy,” Even said loudly as he got out, making a blush cover Isak's face entirely when he sensed the gaze of several people in the cart on his body.

He leaned his head against the pole he was clinging to, and closed his eyes, trying to calm his racing heart.

* * *

Isak looked up at Eva’s face from where he was laying haphazardly on her bed, his head pillowed on her stomach as she twirled his curls around her finger before releasing them and repeating her previous actions, a random song Isak barely knew playing from her phone from where it was thrown onto the mattress. 

It had been several moments since the last time they spoke, instead simply listening to whatever song came on and enjoying each other’s company, Isak occasionally showing Eva something he saw on Instagram, but now his phone was placed on his stomach as he drummed along to the beat of the song with his fingertips, tapping on the phone case.

"So," Isak started slowly, Eva humming in response, "What's going on with you and Noora?"

“What?” Eva said, a nervous tone in her voice as she looked at Isak, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth as Isak gazed up at her before rolling his eyes at the apparent confusion the girl felt at the question.

“I mean, it's kind of obvious there's something there,” He licked his lips before speaking, “So when are you two gonna actually start dating?”

Eva’s mouth dropped open at that, a red flush covering her cheeks, matching the colour of her hair.

She let out a breath, groaning and tilting her head up before she looked back down to Isak.

“I don’t know if she likes me like that.”

Isak snorted at the words, rolling his eyes and lifting his brows up and down, a quick almost unnoticeable movement.

“Eva, you’re a fucking idiot if you can’t see that she likes you a lot.”

He arched a brow and smirked in a knowing way as Eva tried to fight off a smile before glancing down at her lap and her face taking on an expression of clear worry.

“What if she’s just really friendly with everyone? Like, yeah she touches me a lot and tells me I’m pretty and spends a lot of time with me but what if I ask her out and it turns out she’s doing the exact same things with like Vilde or Sana or Chris.”

Isak grimaced in disbelief, shaking his head and trying to sound as sincere as possible when he spoke, “I’ve seen the way she’s around you though and she’s not like that with anyone else, I live with her, okay? I’d know how she is, and she's definitely not like that with me, Eskild, or Linn.”

Eva smiled at him, her eyes glimmering with hope as the blush on her cheeks remained in place.

“Thanks, Is.”

He returned the smile before grabbing his phone off of his stomach, his T-shirt slipping upwards a tiny bit but he didn’t think anything of it, at least not until he heard Eva release a shocked gasp before she squealed in excitement as Isak looked up at her, his brows furrowed in confusion at the sudden reaction.

She grinned at him and tilted her head to the side, “Okay, but when were you going to tell me about whoever it is that you’re fucking?”

Isak’s eyes widened at that, his heart skipping a beat and his breath hitching, his mouth opening as he tried to think of what to say.

_ Fuck, fuck, fuck. _

He couldn’t figure it out, he had no idea how she knew, if she saw him and Even, if someone texted her something, and the questions piling up in his mind only made his heartbeat speed up even further. But then she glanced down and he followed her gaze all the way down to his...stomach?

_ Oh fuck. _

He let out a quiet gasp before pulling his T-shirt down as quick as possible, even though he knew it was pointless. Eva had already seen the many bruises covering his hips, mouth shaped marks undeniably made by someone pressing their lips to the sensitive skin and sucking.

“What the fuck Isak? You little slut,” She reached down while giggling, pulling on the hem of his shirt and looking at his skin again before Isak batted her hand away, Eva laughing as she leaned back against the headboard and smirked at him.

“It was a one-time thing, shut up,” He rubbed a hand over his face and avoided her gaze, feeling his cheeks redden just as hers had only a few moments ago.

“Okay, but who is it?”

“You don’t know him,” he paused for a moment and thought about what to say, knowing that she would ask him where they met, “I met him on Grindr.”

He would’ve facepalmed in that very moment had she not been there, knowing that he had spoken to her before about his avid dislike for the app, about how he’s convinced someone would murder him if they actually met up, the fear stopping him from downloading again it after he used it only once, receiving an influx of ‘top or bottom’, ‘wanna see my cock’ and all sorts of crude messages before hastily deleting it.

And by the expression on her face, he knew that she was shocked by the admission, but he saw no disbelief.

Her brows furrowed as she squinted her eyes before blurting out, “What the fuck? You hate that thing.”

And Isak could feel the very last bit of his dignity evaporate from his body as he spoke, “I was desperate.”

Eva snorted at that, letting out a laugh before shaking her head and arching a brow in Isak’s direction, “Was it good though?”

Isak felt his cheeks get even hotter than they already were at the thought, his body suddenly overwhelmed by the memory of Even's strong and sure hands on him, holding him down, straddling his chest and feeding him that huge cock. 

He nodded before speaking breathlessly, his voice quiet and soft, “Yeah, he’s incredible.”

He looked up at Eva to see her already gazing at him, a strange sort of emotion flashing through her eyes before she said softly, “Do you actually like him?”

Isak knew he should’ve answered straight away, because he already knew the answer to that question, he knew that the only thing he liked about the third year was the way he could make him moan. But, he still hesitated, glancing down and taking a deep breath before looking back at Eva, her mouth pulled up in a kind and understanding smile.

“No, I don’t like him at all.”

* * *

Isak slammed his fist against the locker firmly, the stupid thing finally flying open and allowing him to get the books he needed for the second lesson of the day, as he had already missed the first one after sleeping through his alarm and subsequently failing to catch the tram on time, having to wait far too long for the next one and growing increasingly more frustrated with each second that ticked by, his mood already ruined by the time he reached the school.

As he searched for his books, he knocked over a notebook with his hand, the item falling to the ground. He leaned his forehead against the cool metal, taking in a deep breath before he leaned down and grasped the object, pushing it back into the locker and finally grabbing the book he was looking for. 

As he went to close the door to it, he noticed a tall bulky figure slide in next to him, leaning against the lockers and making him look over, his mood souring even further when he realized just who it was.

"Hey," Adrian spoke with a confident grin, his hands shoved into the pockets of his Penetrators hoodie and his hair falling over his forehead messily, an aura of cockiness surrounding him. And all Isak wanted was for him to fuck off and not speak to him ever again, but especially not in that very moment.

"Hi," Isak said slowly, a confused hint in his voice, wondering why exactly he thought that Isak wanted to talk to him.

After a beat of awkward silence, Adrian spoke again, "Look, I just wanted to say sorry for the shit I did at the party last weekend. It wasn't cool of me."

Even though he wasn't specific, Isak knew which incident he was referring to, as he still felt anger and discomfort fill his body at the thoughts of the third year pushing him up against the wall and not letting him leave. And, as much as he appreciated the apology, he could still tell that it wasn't sincere---it was far too obvious that he didn't really mean it.

"Okay," Isak said simply, shutting the locker and getting ready to step away before Adrian gripped his arm, in a fashion much too similar to the way he had done it at the party. Isak looked down at the fingers clutching him before looking back up at the older boys face, raising his eyebrows and hoping he would get the hint and leave him alone.

Luckily, Adrian released him, raising his hands in surrender before putting them down and grinning at him in a way he probably thought was charming.

"So, are we good?"

Isak grimaced at him, confused as to why exactly he thought a half-assed apology would do the trick and make the situation any better.

"I mean," Isak started before letting out a humourless laugh, shaking his head in disbelief at the situation he was in, "Not really. It's cool that you said sorry but the way you acted still wasn't okay."

He noticed Adrian's confidence falter, his brows furrowing, lines creating on his forehead and his lips pulling up in a thin line, indicating both his confusion and lack of patience at not getting what he wanted.

"I mean, I said sorry. What's the problem?"

Isak widened his eyes in order to stop himself from rolling them, anger slowly taking over his thoughts, "You cornered me while drunk out of your mind, made some really shitty comments and wouldn't let me go. What do you mean what's the problem? You saying sorry doesn't make it any better."

He watched as any sort of faux kindness that was previously on Adrian's face disappeared, his eyes stormy and expression frustrated.

"You know, maybe if you weren't such a fucking cocktease I wouldn't have done that."

Isak gaped at him, at a loss for words as Adrian waited for his response, but Isak had no idea what to say.

His brows furrowed and his face heated up, "How the fuck am I a cocktease? I was walking past you, that's it."

Adrian snorted and shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest before looking back to Isak.

"Come on, you hooked up with one guy, then almost did the same with Chris, of course I thought you'd give it up easily. And the fucking tight pants you wear, you're practically asking for it."

Isak stared at him, his lips parted as he tried to contain himself and not snap, to carry on with the rest of this already awful day and not waste his energy. He looked down, pinching the bridge of his nose and releasing a breath he didn't even know he was holding before looking back up at the third year.

"Whatever, man," Isak shook his head and walked around him, careful not to touch him with any part of his body before strolling down the hall, feeling Adrian's eyes on his back as he tried to calm his thoughts, make the frustration he was feeling disappear, frustrated tears springing to his eyes and forcing him to bring up a fist, rubbing them and willing them to go away.

He hurried his steps, now desperate to arrive to the classroom and have his mind focus on something other than the previous events of his day, needing to distract himself from reality.

Finally grabbing the handle to the classroom, he opened the door and walked to the back of the sparsely filled room, pulling out a chair and sitting behind the desk, placing his things on it and releasing a sigh, his foot tapping against the wood floor and his fingers picking on his bottom lip, a fingernail digging into it and pulling until the flesh was red and sensitive. He moved his hand down to his thigh, rubbing his palm against it, his heartbeat still the only thing he could focus on, the speed of it making him even angrier than before. 

In a desperate attempt to distract himself, he grabbed his phone from his pocket, quickly unlocking it, his thumb hovering over the bright screen before he took a deep breath and opened the conversation with his dad, quickly typing out a message and pressing send before he could allow himself to overthink it.

**Pappa**

_ Dad, I need you to send me the money for this month, I don't want to be late with the rent again and I need food. _

He placed his phone on the table but the second he had done so, he heard it buzz. His brows furrowed in confusion, disbelief filling his body at the thought of his father replying to him so soon.

_ I will if you go and see your mother. _

Isak inhaled sharply as he read the words, and he knew he shouldn't respond, not when his mood had already previously been ruined, not when anger was all he had felt the entire day, yet he couldn't stop his thumbs from flying over the keyboard.

_ Why don't you go and see her for once? _

_ She's not my responsibility Isak, we're not together anymore. And I don't have the time to do it. So, just go and see her. _

Isak shut his eyes, breathing in through his nose and trying to calm himself, desperately trying to control his emotions before he reached the end of his tether. He opened his eyes to see a group of students enter the room, all of them talking to each other and smiling while all Isak could hear was ringing in his ears, and the sound of their voices and their giggles only infuriated him further, and he typed once more.

_ When do you ever have the time for anything but yourself? She's not your responsibility? She isn't mine either. You don't do anything for me or for her, so just send me the money and you don't have to bother with me or mom for the rest of the month and you can go back to pretending like you don't have a son again. _

He locked his phone and held it in his hand, his knuckles white from the force, his jaw clenched tightly and his breathing harsh as he kept his eyes on the table in front of him. He didn't know how to calm himself, how to get rid of the burning rage within his body and get through the day. He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, trying to get rid of the tension there before bringing his fingers to the side, slowly rubbing the skin which he knew was still covered in colours. 

Then, he remembered. His eyes opened and his hand stilled. He knew what to do, how to forget.

He unlocked his phone and opened the conversation with Even as quickly as he could, desperate to send the message and leave before the professor walked into the classroom.

**EBN**

_ Meet me in the toilets near my locker in 10 minutes. _

_ Oh, kinky. See you there. _

Grabbing his backpack, and shoving the books from the table in it, Isak pushed the chair back and stood from it before pushing it back under the desk, the legs of it scratching against the floor and getting the attention of everyone in the room. But he didn't care. Throwing his bag over his shoulder, he gripped the strap of it and quickly headed towards the door, feeling everyone's eyes on him and only getting more irritated with each step he took.

He left the room in a rush, letting the door slam shut behind him as his footsteps echoed through the empty hallway of the school, his breathing loud as he tried to stop himself from running, and after a few more moments he finally reached the toilets. 

As he walked in, he realized Even wasn't there yet, making him take in a deep breath as he walked over to the counter, leaning against it and feeling the edge of it dig into the back of his thighs, his arms crossed and his lip between his teeth as he watched the door, waiting for it to open, his hands clutching his jacket and his backpack nearly slipping off of his shoulder, yet he still didn't look away.

And suddenly, Even walked in, a huge cocky smirk on his face, his blue eyes twinkling as he parted his lips, and Isak knew he was going to say something, something that will rile him up even further and lead to him snapping straight away, his plan ending up destroyed in a matter of seconds. 

So he didn’t give him the chance to do anything. With a few long strides, Isak was in front of Even, gripping his hoodie and pulling him down towards him, smashing their lips together and swallowing the huff of laughter Even let out. It only took a second for the older boy to catch on, and suddenly, strong large palms were on Isak's hips, squeezing and gripping so firmly he was positive new marks would appear right next to the ones he already wore on his pale skin. 

Even pushed him carefully, kept walking until he moved his head away from Isak and gripped the handle to one of the doors to the stalls, pushing Isak inside and locking it behind them straight away. Isak dropped his backpack onto the floor, pushing his jacket off as Even leaned forward to kiss him again but Isak dipped lower, his hands now pulling on the clothes Even was wearing as he attached his mouth to his neck, sucking and nipping the skin, making Even hiss in warning before he placed a hand on the back of Isak's neck and pulled him away, smirking at Isak's most likely rather dishevelled appearance.

“Let’s see what else you can do with that pretty little mouth of yours, sweetheart,” And Isak didn’t need to be told twice, immediately falling to his knees in front of the third year, his shaky fingers working on Even's belt and undoing it before he tried to unbutton his jeans, yet his hands seem to refuse to cooperate, fingers slipping off of the button and making him whine in frustration.

Distantly, he heard Even chuckle at his behaviour before he spoke, “Someone’s desperate today, huh?”

Isak ignored the remark, instead concentrating on the task at hand. After finally unbuttoning his pants, Isak dragged them down Even's thighs, shoving his face in his boxer clad crotch and mouthing along the increasingly hardening length straight away, hearing Even groan out a strained 'fuck' at the feeling of Isak sucking on the tip and tasting the pre-cum soak through the cloth, mixing with the pure musky taste of Even.

He whimpered as Even threaded a hand through his hair, the older boy humming in appreciation when Isak pulled his boxers down, revealing his hard throbbing cock, and making Isak take in a shaky inhale of breath at the impressive sight. All he wanted was to have it inside of him, his mouth, his ass, anything. He just needed to make Even feel good, he needed the distraction, the chance to do something right, even if it was something as simple as giving a blowjob.

Firmly gripping the base, he moved his hand up and down, once, twice and then he finally leaned in, the smooth head of Even's cock trailing over his lips as he barely parted them, simply spreading the pre-cum on them, feeling the tacky substance on his mouth. He diverted his gaze upwards and found Even looking at him already-- his mouth open, his eyes half-lidded as he simply kept staring, his gaze strong and unwavering, making Isak feel that Even was seeing something in Isak that he himself had never seen while looking in the mirror. 

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” Even said breathlessly, his voice sounding as if he were not even aware of what he had said, the sentiment simply spilling out of him and making Isak avert his gaze, the words themselves being far too much for him already, he could not handle that look in Even's eyes--the look of pure and utter desire and want.

He opened his mouth and allowed his tongue to loll out, the tangy flavour exploding on his tastebuds, making his eyes roll into the back of his head as he shut his lips around the cock and slowly slid lower before moving back up, setting up a pace which he knew would drive Even wild--slow, long strokes designed to bring him close to the edge. His hands held onto Even’s thighs, feeling the muscles move and tense up whenever Isak slipped his tongue over the underside of his cock, feeling the vein on the shaft before sucking harshly and moving his head up, his hand still working the length while he focused on the sensitive head.

Isak pushed away, gripping Even's cock and jerking him off as he took a deep breath, steadying himself and moving forward, wrapping his lips around it and slowly moving downwards, working on relaxing his throat and his jaw as the monstrous size slid deeper into his mouth. He gagged quietly, Even’s breathing heard loudly in the room as he persevered, carrying on and pushing further and further until his nose touched the light brown hair at the base of Even’s cock, the length stretching his throat out as he released quick puffs of breath through his nose, Even’s hand now gripping his curls and holding him in place.

“Fuck, Isak, that’s so good. You’re so good angel, so fucking wet and tight.”

At the words, Isak whimpered and looked up, tears filling his eyes when he saw Even’s gaze already on him, the older boy’s mouth open in awe and his cheeks flushed a gorgeous pink shade, a groan coming out of him when they locked eyes.

Isak kept looking at him, almost transfixed as Even’s hand slid down to his face, gently caressing his cheek, the tenderness making goosebumps raise on Isak’s body as he slowly moved away from Even, feeling his cock leave his mouth as he wrapped his fingers around it and started moving it while he caught his breath, strands of spit and pre-cum connecting his lips to the swollen tip.

Encircling his lips around it again, Isak set up a quick pace, swirling his tongue around the cock and moving his hand over the parts of the erection that he couldn’t reach, his knees aching where he kneeled but he didn’t care, all that mattered to him were Even’s gasps and soft words of praise continuously spilling out of him.

“Good boy, Isak, you feel so good,” He said breathlessly, clearly about to moan but then, Isak heard the door to the toilets open, his eyes shooting up at Even, the older boy's eyes widened but he simply raised a finger over his lips, signalling for Isak to be quiet. 

They listened to the footsteps slowly moving through the room, struggling to remain quiet, not to let the person hear them, and just as Even gripped his hair and tried to pull him off, Isak sucked harder, looking up at him and slowly starting to move again, his tongue flattening against the shaft. Even’s eyes widened at the action but he wasn’t telling him to stop, his hand now slowly pushing Isak down his cock, his teeth digging into his bottom lip while he fought to stay quiet, hips twitching while the sound of running water from the tap was heard through the room, and the steps starting once again. And the second the door closed and everything was quiet again, Even spoke.

“Fuck, baby, such a naughty boy, what the fuck?”

Isak moaned around him at the words, feeling his own dick harden as the third year thrust forward with his hips, Isak gagging loudly in response. He could feel Even pulling him back, fingers tangled in the golden strands on his head, but Isak couldn’t. He didn’t want to stop, he needed this. He placed his hand over Even’s, pushing down on it and looking up at him before he moved his hands to Even’s legs, fingertips running through the coarse hair when he slid them to the back, over his firm thighs and upwards to smooth skin, small palms covering his ass cheeks as he gripped them and pushed him forward, telling Even what he wanted him to do.

“You sure?” Even asked trepidly but Isak could feel his fingers twitching regardless, tempted by the offer, his hips slowly moving when Isak hummed in confirmation and shut his eyes, relaxing his throat and allowing Even to push into it deeper and deeper.

Even kept his movements slow, careful, but that's not what Isak needed. He gripped Even's ass, pushing him further in, moaning when Even finally quickened his pace, sliding in and out of his mouth and making him gag, spit sliding down his chin as Even's actions got more and more erratic as he approached the edge. Even leaned against the stall wall with the other hand, his hips thrusting forward harshly and making Isak gag, tear tracks being created on his cheeks as he kept his hands on Even’s ass and felt his dick twitch at the feeling of the weight on his tongue, and only for a moment he wondered if he could come just from this, just from Even fucking into his mouth.

“God, fuck, I’m gonna come baby. You gonna swallow my come, yeah?”

Isak looked up at Even, his brows pulled together as he whimpered, the vibrations making Even groan loudly, Isak still looking at him, refusing to close his eyes as Even cursed in satisfaction.

“So good, angel,” Even said one more time, Isak moaning before he felt the first spurt of hot come spill down his throat, Even’s hips stuttering and his grip on Isak’s hair tightening as he kept releasing into his mouth, his eyes closing shut and his lips parted in pleasure as he pushed forward, deeper into the wet heat of Isak's mouth.

As Even came down from his high, he loosened the grasp he had on Isak's head, allowing Isak to move away, Even's cock slipping out of his mouth. He breathed harshly as he tried to calm down, his head leaning on Even’s hip while the older boy smoothed down his curls, almost as if he was apologizing for the force he had previously used.

“Come on, sweetheart,” He heard Even say softly, his voice as kind as it always was when they did this. Isak looked up, noticing the boy extending his hand towards him. Isak placed his own onto it, carefully standing up and slumping against the third year, Even wrapping an arm around him immediately and placing a kiss on his temple before he leaned his cheek on Isak's head.

Isak nuzzled in further into the crook of his neck, releasing a puff of breath and feeling his lips graze against Even's skin. Just as he felt his body relax, he felt a hand slide down his back before it came to his ass, gripping the cheek tightly and pulling him closer.

Isak took in a shaky breath and moved his head away, grabbing Even’s hand and pushing it off of him, not looking at him while doing so.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to,” Isak said while Even pulled his pants up, the younger boy grabbing his backpack and jacket off of the floor and unlocking the door and stepping out, walking over to the counter and turning the tap on.

“Okay, you sure? I can suck you off if you want,” Even offered, buttoning up his pants and walking over to Isak.

“It’s fine,” Isak spoke firmly, his voice harsh as the previous bad mood he had been in returned, the distraction having only worked for a moment. He leaned forward and used the water to wash his mouth out, spitting it out into the sink before he turned it off, using the back of his sleeve to wipe his lips.

“Okay, whatever.”

Isak placed his backpack onto the floor, quickly putting his jacket on before throwing the bag over his shoulder, about to leave the room when he remembered his previous encounter with a certain Penetrator.

“By the way, tell your friend Adrian to leave me the fuck alone.”

Even frowned in confusion, yet a strange flicker showed on his features before he neutralized his expression and nodded, crossing his arms over his chest and pursing his lips.

“Yeah, okay. Just ignore him if he says anything to you, he’s bad news.”

Isak looked at him strangely, trying to figure out what he meant by that, the tone of Even’s voice telling him he knew more but was holding back.

He shook his head to dispel his thoughts and rubbed a hand over his face, “Whatever, I don’t care, I just want him to fuck off.”

Just as he went to leave, he heard Even speak.

“Isak, are you okay?”

Isak stopped in his tracks, taking in a deep breath and speaking through gritted teeth, “Yes, Even, I’m fine.”

He had hoped it would be enough, that Even wouldn’t press on and that he would allow him to go before he inevitably snapped, but he was also aware of the fact that his luck that day had been utterly atrocious, so when Even spoke once again, he shouldn’t have been even remotely surprised.

“Isak, come on. Did I hurt you or something?” Isak could hear the slight hint of fear in his voice, and usually, he would’ve found it charming that Even was so worried about that, he would have, but in that moment, he couldn't think of it as anything but irritating. He felt his face heat up as he shut his eyes, trying to count back from 10 to relax and stop his thoughts from spiralling, but soon enough he lost count, and he turned around, looking Even straight in the eye.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Even. Not everything is about you, I'm fine. I don’t even know why you’re asking, I really don’t. I don't know why you’re standing there and pretending like you give a fuck about how I feel or if I’m okay because we both know you don’t. That’s not what this is about, that’s not something you should care about cause it’s none of your business. You don’t need to care about me, and I don’t need to care about you. So stop acting like my wellbeing matters to you cause we both know all I am to you is something to fuck into, and honestly, let’s keep it that way. Just don’t talk to me and go back to being the fucking asshole we both know you are.”

He panted when he finished, his hands shaking where he clenched them by his sides, his brows furrowed and his gaze unwavering. He tilted his chin up as he watched Even look to the side, rolling his lips into his mouth and releasing them, not saying a word and allowing Isak to simmer in the tense silence.

Finally, after several long and painful moments, Even looked at him, straightening up his back and speaking, his voice emotionless, yet Isak could tell they were laced with hurt, “Okay Isak, fine.” 

If he had spent even a split second thinking about it, Isak would’ve regretted his words, would’ve taken them back just to get rid of the painful expression of well-hidden hurt on Even’s face. But he didn’t, he couldn't think of anything but getting the fuck out. 

He simply nodded curtly and finally left, not taking a look back at Even as he hurried to get out of the building, memories of hurt blue eyes flashing through his mind with each step he took.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! It's a long one again, I know I know.  
> This is like...kind of angsty but not really I guess, so I hope you like it, plus there isn't as much smut as I usually write, but of course there's still some there lmao  
> Anyways, what did you think?? What do you think will happen with Isak and his dad? Or Isak and Even? Or just tell me whatever you want, I don't mind, I just like hearing your thoughts lmao
> 
> If you have any questions about this or any other of my fics, OR if you have any prompts/headcanons you'd like me to either put in some of my fics OR write a one shot for, or if you just want to talk about some hc's, you can head over to my Tumblr:  isaksforelsket   
> Twitter: vandervaltersen


	8. soft talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check end notes for warnings! Not a trigger warning, just something people don't like to read sometimes, so just letting you know so you can skip it if you wanna.

The sound of the boy next to him was vaguely heard through the noise of the crowd in front of him. Even squinted as he looked at his dark eyes, Jakob. He was sure his name was Jakob. But it didn't matter either way. It never did. 

Teenagers were spilling out into the living room and dancing in the haze of cigarette smoke and the stench of strong liquor, yet that’s not what Even was focused on. All he could see was the blonde-haired cherub standing on the other side of the room, and the boy he had considered his best friend standing right next to him, leaning down lower and whispering into his ear. Even through the flashing lights above them, Even could see the pink shade of Isak’s cheeks as Chris continued flirting with him, his chest pressing up against Isak’s shoulder as they both leaned back against the wall, and as Isak face split into a beautiful smile, and he released a giggle at something Chris had said-—the older boys lips spreading in a triumphant grin immediately—-Even looked away, focusing instead on the third year that he had been talking to for quite some time now. He watched as Jakob's lips moved, words spilling out but he couldn’t hear them, all that was heard in his alcohol muffled mind was the sound of Isak laughing because of Chris, and suddenly his mind had created the image of them together, skin pressed up against skin, sweat gliding down their bodies as Chris slid inside, and he felt his body tense at the thought, his cheeks flushing with anger, but that was quickly interrupted by the harsh reminder of their encounter only three days earlier. The venomous words spilling out of the first year and making Even recoil, the concern he had felt being replaced by an offended rage. The rage which had since simmered into a calm grudge he held against him. Yet, deep down, he knew it wasn't anger he felt, it was hurt. And it felt as if the main reason he was upset by the interaction, was because it was Isak. It was Isak who thought that way of him, it was Isak who thought he was an asshole, and somehow that mattered more than he'd like to admit. 

He knew Isak was simply lashing out, and he could see how much he was hurting while he was speaking. And this pain seemed to paint his features for the rest of the week, the boy occasionally glancing at Even and something akin to regret and guilt flashing in the deep green of his eyes before he diverted his gaze and looked away. And Even was happy he had done so, for some reason he couldn’t bare to have Isak’s eyes on him, not because he was angry, but because all he wanted to do at those times was walk up to him and make sure he was okay. And that’s not what he was meant to feel.

So, instead of doing what his subconscious was telling him to, he did what he always had. Escaped via some sort of temporary and fleeting pleasure. In this case, alcohol. And soon enough, if the boy next to him was up for it—which, judging by the hand he had placed much too high on Even's thigh for it too be innocent, he definitely was—-he would be escaping into the world of moans and ecstasy as well.

Lifting his hand up, he took a swig of his beer and slammed the bottle onto the table next to the couch, the surface rattling from the impact before he looked back towards Jakob, raising his eyebrows and leaning forward, his lips brushing against the skin of his ear as he spoke.

“So, are you coming upstairs with me or what?”

Jakob blinked at him with those dark brown eyes, his plump lips spreading in a smirk as he nodded much too enthusiastically, making Even look away so as not to roll his eyes. 

Jakob stood from the couch, Even following straight after and stepping in front of him, starting the journey through the crowd towards the stairs. 

As if some strange urge had taken over him, he turned his head towards where he knew Isak was, and the sight made him inhale sharply, his fists clenched by his sides. Chris was standing even closer to him than before, a charming grin spread on his face while Isak tilted his head up, looking up at him with a shy face, which Even recognized as the first year being flustered, but still flattered and interested. It was the same look the boy wore the first few times Even spoke to him, before they ever had sex. Isak’s eyes were half-lidded, lips pink and slightly parted, his smart tongue darting out to wet them as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear, and Even was overtaken by the urge to do that for him, to walk over and push his hand through his hair and pull him closer, allow their lips to meet before telling Chris, and Jakob, to fuck off. But the words Isak had spoken made him turn his head forward, carefully pushing through the crowd and reprimanding himself for his alcohol-induced thoughts. Because that's all it was. He was drunk, horny, and Isak was there, and Even knew what the boy was like, how he felt, how he moaned. He knew that all he felt towards Isak was pure sexual attraction, that he wanted to fuck the boy and nothing more, no matter how funny or sweet he found him, no matter how much he wanted to protect him and make sure he was okay. He knew it was nothing, and he knew that he was on his way to get fucked into the mattress by the guy walking much too close behind him, his hard-on pressing into the back of Even's thigh. So, Isak didn't matter. And Even would surely stop thinking of him---and the apology he secretly wanted---once he had an orgasm. Once he was satisfied and didn't feel the need to go over to Isak and pull his ridiculously tight jeans below that gorgeous ass of his and fuck into him.

With one final step, he reached the stairs and rushed up without looking back, knowing that Jakob was following close behind.

***

He quickly walked to the door of what he knew to be the spare bedroom, opening it and gripping Jakob’s black T-shirt, pulling him in and closing the door shut. Before either of them had time to say anything, he pulled the boy in for a soaring kiss, teeth clashing and their tongues meeting, the smacking sounds heard over the muted noise heard from downstairs. It was messy, it was desperate, and it was exactly the thing Even needed.

With a few steps forward, Jakob fell down onto the bed, Even crawling over him and straddling his hips straight away, grinding his jean-clad erection over Jakob’s as the other boy trailed his hands over Even's back before gripping his ass, kneading the flesh before gripping it firmly, pushing Even lower onto him and setting up a rhythm which they both found pleasurable.

“Do you have lube?” Even said between kisses before pressing his lips against Jakob’s neck, nipping the skin harshly, “And a condom?”

A shaky inhale of breath was heard and he felt Jakob nod quickly before swallowing audibly, “Yeah, I do.”

Even smirked before falling down onto his back, allowing Jakob to push his fingers into the front pocket of his jeans, pulling out a packet of lubricant and a red foiled condom, all the while Even was sitting up and throwing his T-shirt over his head hastily, unzipping his pants as Jakob took off his own top before moving over Even and kissing him once more, his hand on Even’s neck as Even finally pulled his pants off, throwing them down onto the floor, his boxers following, all the while their lips hadn't separated, but Jakob's hand was now placed on Even's chest, fingertips moving over his nipples.

“Top or bottom?”

A few seconds had passed until the words finally registered in Even’s mind, and he already knew what he wanted, what he needed that night.

“Fuck me,” He whispered against the boy's lips, making the other groan and push his bulge against Even's hip before Jakob moved away from him, the boy taking the rest of his clothes off and moving to settle between Even’s spread out legs, hands running down them before he slicked his fingers up and pushed them in.

It didn’t take long for Even to be ready, the thick fingers of the third year moving inside of him in all the right ways, pressing against just the right spot and making him see stars behind his eyelids, the squelching of the lube heard all around him, but he didn't focus on that, all he could do was groan and try to kiss Jakob when the boy leaned over him.

“Come on,” He heard himself say with a hoarse voice, groaning when Jakob pushed in harder, “I’m ready.”

The empty feeling Jakob’s fingers left behind only made him falter for a moment before he regained his composure and turned around, raising his hips in the air and arching his back as he heard Jakob curse behind him at the sight.

And soon enough, a blunt pressure was pressing against his hole before it gave way, and a thick cock was filling him up, grazing against his walls and spreading him further. He could feel a slight burn on his rim, but he didn't care, he welcomed it, the feeling only serving as even more of a turn on.

He didn’t give Jakob a lot of time to wait before he starting fucking back onto him, feeling the delicious stretch of his walls as he groaned loudly, not caring if anyone heard him.

“Come on,” He moaned out when Jakob finally started to move, his strong hands gripping Even’s hips tightly as he pushed in, and in, and in.

“That’s it, harder,” Even spoke but broke off in a moan as Jakob did as he was told, his hand now gripping Even's ass cheek and pulling it to the side while he fucked further into him.

“Fuck, yeah, that’s good, your cock feels so fucking good,” He kept going, words spilling out of him while his hand trailed over his smooth chest, tweaking his nipples for a moment before it continued downwards and he finally wrapped his long fingers around his throbbing cock, feeling the pre-cum bubble on the tip when Jakob thrust in just right, and he knew he wouldn’t last, and judging by the harsh breathing and the groans heard behind him, neither would Jakob.

His hand flew back away from his erection, moving backwards and sliding over the hot sweaty skin of Jakob's asscheek before he slapped it, gripping it and pulling him in harder, deeper, desperate for more.

Jakob grabbed his cock, his palm sliding over the wet tip before he smoothed it back down, jerking him off in time with his thrusts and bringing him closer to his peak.

"Fuck, I'm gonna come," Even groaned out, his ass clenching tightly around the length inside of him as Jakob pushed in harder, hitting his prostate with the head of his dick and finally pushing him over the edge. He came all over the crumpled up sheets below him, a loud groan coming from behind him as the third year came inside of him, filling up the condom and twitching while Even came down from his high.

Before he could tell him to do so, Jakob pulled out of his limp body, leaving a sort of emptiness behind that Even hadn't felt in quite some time, but he welcomed it nevertheless. He let himself fall down onto the bed, not without moving to the side to avoid falling into the come splattered on the sheets. He lay on his back, looking down at the mess he had made and scrunching up his nose in regret as he remembered this wasn't his house and he isn't the one that would have to clean it.

_ Oh, well. Fuck it. _

Jakob let out a content sigh next to him as Even sat up, wincing at the delicious burn he felt before he rifled through the drawers of the nightstand next to the spacious bed, grabbing some tissues and wiping himself clean before he turned towards the boy still sprawled on the bed, the condom now off and presumably thrown into the trash.

"Here you go," Even handed him some tissues before he stood up, stretching his back and feeling his muscles relax only a tiny bit while he looked down at the floor, searching for his clothes and finally spotting them next to the corner of the bed, heading over to them immediately and pulling his boxers on.

As he was getting dressed, he noticed Jakob doing the same, and soon enough, they were both fully clothed and Jakob strolled over to him casually, his chest puffed out in a sort of cockiness Even suddenly found irritating. But he still allowed Jakob to place a firm hand on the back of his neck and pull him down into a kiss. 

A smile was placed on the other boy's features when he pulled back, licking his lips as he stepped away from Even, his hands pushed into his front pockets.

"Call me sometime, you have my number."

Even smirked at the words before nodding slightly, even though he already knew this was a one time deal, he didn't want to repeat this, in fact, he never wanted to talk to this boy again. 

***

With a grip on the door handle, he turned it, opening the door and letting the music from downstairs become louder as they both stepped out into the hallway. 

Just as they were about to head downstairs, Even heard the door down the hall open, making him turn his head and meet the gaze of the person he had been watching the entire night.

"Halla," He spoke before he could stop himself, smirking as Isak blushed at the greeting. He watched as Isak's eyes darted from the boy that had just been inside of him, back to him, his brows furrowing for a second before he caught himself and neutralized his expression. Even's grin widened when the boy's blush deepened even further as he bit his lip, wringing his hands in front of him in a nervous gesture before he finally looked down onto the floor and walked towards him slowly.

Even looked behind him, realizing that Jakob had already went downstairs, before he focused all of his attention to the boy before him.

"Fun times with Chris?" Even he heard the slight tinge of bitterness in the words, making him frown slightly and shake his head, clearing his throat to get rid of the strange emotions boiling inside of his body, instead watching as Isak furrowed his brows and tilted his head to the side in slight confusion.

"I mean, we talked, that's it, I- We didn't do anything."

Even let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, fear of Chris getting to touch Isak for some reason overwhelming him, and he knew it was because of the bet, nothing more. He knew that had Isak found out about it, he would probably be hurt by the act, he would probably convince himself he had been nothing but a pawn in some sick game they played for their own entertainment, and he couldn't let that happen. He simply couldn't.

"Right, good choice. I'd keep it that way if I were you," He smiled softly at the end of the sentence, trying to keep it light-hearted instead of making it sound like an obvious warning. But still, Isak's frown deepened and he stepped closer to Even, crossing his arms against his chest as Even pushed his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.

"And why is that?" He heard the genuine curiosity in Isak's voice, but also a sense of distrust and concern, and he simply couldn't tell him the truth. The thought of Isak finding out, and thinking Even was a part of it popped up in his mind, the thought of Isak being hurt because of Even and thinking he had in some way planned their whole arrangement as a part of a bet made his chest constrict, but he tampered that image down. No, that wasn't why he didn't tell him, it couldn't be. He simply didn't want to betray his friends and tell Isak what they were doing, that's all.

"He's just an asshole, that's it. I just know what he's like."

Isak hummed softly, observing Even with trepidation as he bit his lip, Even's eyes tracing the action before he caught himself and looked back towards Isak's green eyes, the boy luckily looking off to the side, but glancing back towards Even when he noticed his gaze on him.

"If you think all of your friends are assholes, why do you hang out with them?" Isak asked, his head tilting to the side and making a strand of hair fall down his forehead, Even's fingers twitching in desire to push it back.

"No, I don't," He said slowly, yet truthfully. He didn't think they were bad people. Well, Chris wasn't. Him and Chris were both the same. Just two people taking what they wanted and enjoying themselves, not promising anything to anyone, and as much as he sometimes felt guilt over the way they discarded people without so much as a care in the world, he couldn't let it take over his entire mind. 

"Well, you just said Chris is an asshole, and you said the same thing about Adrian at," His words stopped, an uncomfortable cough coming from him before he finished the sentence, "School."

Even nodded at that, a pang of pain shooting through his chest as he was reminded of what Isak had said, and regardless of the fact that the boy was upset when he had said those things, Even still felt like at least some part of Isak thought those things about him. And he simply couldn't help but be hurt by them.

Well, he assumed his ego was wounded and nothing more, he'd get over it eventually.

"Yeah, I guess I did," Even said before sighing, putting on a smile that even he knew looked far too fake, and judging by the glimmer in Isak's eyes, and the hurt on his features, Isak had noticed as well, "Well, I'm going back down."

He turned around, heading down the stairs before Isak had the chance to say anything else, but suddenly, he heard a small shaky voice speak.

"Wait, Even," He stopped near the bottom of the stairs, turning back around and watching Isak come towards him, standing on the step above him and looking around nervously before he leaned forward, gripping Even's bicep for balance and moving so close to him, Even could feel his breath hit the skin on his cheek, the sensation making a shiver run down his spine.

"I'm sorry," He said simply before he moved back, moving his lingering hand away as well, and somehow, that lack of contact made Even's breath hitch, the desire to be close to this lovely boy overwhelmed him.

"No worries," He smiled once more, turning back around and letting the drunken crowd envelop him completely, leaving Isak alone on the stairs.

* * *

Even stretched where he lay on the couch in Chris' apartment, glancing over at his friend where the other boy was sprawled out on the armchair opposite him, a laptop placed on his crossed legs as he diligently typed, just as Even has been for quite some time now, but the rumbling of his stomach has become something he couldn't avoid any longer and he had to stop.

"Can we order a pizza?" He groaned out as he sat up, placing his laptop on the cushion next to him while he arched his back, feeling his joints crack and making him grimace and rub a hand over his face.

"Sure," Chris mumbled out noncommittally, his fingers still flying over the keyboard for a few more seconds before he leaned forward, barely grasping his phone with his fingertips and finally unlocking it, and only moments later, after a lazy discussion about what they should have, he ordered the pizza.

Even lay back down on the couch, pulling his laptop onto his stomach and staring at the word document which was still open. He heard Chris sigh heavily before he felt the boy's gaze on him, making him look up and meet his eyes, raising his eyebrows in question, the look on Chris's face making anxiety rise in his body.

"So, what's up with you and Isak?" 

Even's breath hitched, his lips parting and his heartbeat accelerating at the question.

_ Fuck. _

He swallowed thickly while Chris looked back at something on his phone before locking it, discarding it onto the seat he was on and looking directly at Even, smirking at Even's shocked expression.

"Nothing," Even said as nonchalantly as he possibly could, hoping his flushed cheeks weren't giving him away, "Why do you ask?"

Chris tilted his head to the side, giving him a knowing look which let Even know he was thoroughly fucked, that Chris knew something, and the only thing Even thought about was how he feared letting Isak know that one of his friends found out about them. The last thing he wanted was for the first year to find out something had gone wrong, and Even simply knew he would get the blame for it and Isak would end the arrangement they had, and the thought of Even never getting to touch him again made his fists clench, his chest constricting.

He tried to shake himself out of his stupor, getting rid of the thoughts muddling his mind and instead focusing on Chris.

"I saw you two talking on the stairs at the party, you seemed really close," Chris said with a hint of teasing in his voice, and Even exhaled at that. A breath of relief coming out of him at the knowledge that Chris didn't really know if anything was happening, he couldn't possibly know for sure.

"Nah, not really," He coughed to clear his throat, trying to gain a few more seconds to think of what to say, "I can't really remember what we talked about, I was wasted, and I fucked someone else that night, so... Nope, didn't do anything with him."

Chris hummed at that and nodded absentmindedly, Even biting his lip as he observed his friend's reaction, waiting for him to continue, which he was sure he would.

"Right," Chris said with a small tint of disbelief in his tone, making Even's chest clench in anticipation of what he will say next, "But do you like him though?"

Even frowned at the question, confused as to what exactly brought that on, why Chris was asking it. He didn't have to think for long about his answer, he knew already. He knew he thought the first year was incredibly pretty, with his golden curls and his lovely sparkly eyes that glimmer in the light and get filled with tears of pleasure whenever Even touches him, but he didn't like him. He definitely didn't want to be with him---the snarky attitude, which he at times found endearing and possibly even cute, would surely become tiresome. But then again, Even knew what Isak was really like when he was relaxed, when he wasn't putting up a front for anyone. The frown between his eyebrows disappearing, his features relaxing and his body becoming pliant as he spoke softly, and he knew the boy was much sweeter than he let on. But no, he didn't like him.

"No, what the fuck?" He spoke a few moments too late, making Chris snort at his reaction while redness rose on Even's face.

"You can tell me, man, if you're into him like that let me know and I'll back off, and I'll tell Adrian to fuck off as well, don't worry about it. We're both in it just for the sex, but if you actually like the kid, I won't do anything," He paused for a moment, the smile on his face softening slightly, "I saw you looking at him at the party, and I know you used to hit on him all the fucking time, so clearly you know that he's fit. So, if you want to be with him just let me know, man."

Even stared blankly at him as he tried to gather his thoughts, tried to think of what to say, but before he could even properly think about it, before he could even consider the offer, the words spilt out of his mouth.

"No, it's cool, you can fuck him, I don’t care."

Even to himself, his voice sounded forced, fake. He didn't even understand why he said it, he didn't know why he didn't tell Chris to back off, just to get the damn bet out of the way, just to prevent Isak from the potential hurt he would feel if he found out about this. But perhaps it was the years of denying any emotions, any attachment to anyone he came across, and perhaps it was because it was the truth, he didn't want to be with him.

He didn't want Isak.

* * *

Pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger, Even read the last sentence he had written in his assignment, the headphones placed into his ears muffling out the noise of the busy cafe as people busted in through the doors and rushed to take the few remaining seats while they gripped their cups in an attempt to warm their hands up. 

He rubbed his eyes with his hand, willing the exhaustion he had felt to disappear from his body and allow him to focus on the task at hand, yet he simply couldn't. He grabbed the mug placed next to his laptop and brought it up to his lips, expecting the sweet taste of warm coffee to enter his mouth, yet nothing came out of it. With a groan, he realized he had drunk all of it. And just as he was about to stand up and go order another drink, he noticed a figure standing before him, and a small hand holding a cup extending toward him.

His gaze trailed upwards, and the second he realized who it was, he felt affection spread throughout his body. Isak stood before him, bouncing on his feet as nervousness emitted from him; his bottom lip was stuck between his slightly parted teeth before he released it, his free hand moving upwards to push up the black-rimmed glasses placed on his head, and Even felt a sudden urge to reach forward and take them off, to see the green of his eyes more clearly. 

He noticed the blush on Isak's cheeks deepen even further, realizing that he was simply glaring up at him as the boy waited for Even to say something.

Even took his headphones out, placing them on the table and raising his eyebrows up and down as a smile spread on his face, his eyes darting from the cup Isak was holding back to the boy's anxious face.

"I wanted to say sorry," Isak spoke with a shaky voice, his tongue darting out to wet his lips before he added, "Again."

Even couldn't help but allow his grin to widen even further, his eyes crinkling slightly as he grabbed the cup from Isak's hand, their fingers brushing together and making electricity spark through his entire being.

"It's okay, don't worry about it," He said softly, his voice almost enamoured as he watched Isak place his hands behind his back, rocking on the balls of his feet as he probably tried to decide whether he should go or not.

"I just," Isak said as he furrowed his brows, trying to think of how to continue as fondness unfurled in Even's chest at the sight of the boy so flustered, "I know that I was a dick, and I didn't mean it. I was just having a bad day and you were there and I took it out on you. Sorry."

"Isak," Even said, stopping Isak from continuing on rambling and watching as pink on his cheeks spread all over his face, "It's fine, really. I get it."

A soft smile appeared on Isak's face, Even tilting his head at the sight and looking up at the boy as he nodded, glancing around the room for a moment.

"I should," Isak lifted a hand, waving towards the back, indicating what he meant, "I should go."

"You can sit down, you know."

The words left Even's mouth before he even knew it, and he couldn't even regret them as for some reason all he wished for was for Isak to say yes and sit with him, perhaps he missed the boy's snarky comments and the playful banter between them. Or he just missed looking at his pretty face, he couldn't be sure.

"Oh," Isak squeaked out, coughing to clear his throat, "I- It's okay."

"Is, just sit down, chill."

He watched as the cogs turned in Isak's pretty little head, his teeth digging into his bottom lip before he released it, the sensitive skin now red and leaving Even unable to look away from it for several seconds before he caught himself and forced himself to look back up.

Isak nodded softly, his curls bouncing while he pulled the chair out, delicately sitting down on it and placing his cup on the table.

"What are you working on?" Isak finally spoke after a few moments of tense silence, both of them apparently unable to think of anything to say to each other. Even held in a laugh at the situation, they had seen each other naked, made each other come, yet sitting down and talking seemed to envoke awkwardness in them both.

Even groaned as he looked back towards his laptop, closing it shut before looking towards Isak, focusing on him and him alone, "Biology essay."

Isak raised his eyebrows, nodding as he took a sip of his drink, "And you're struggling, huh?"

He watched as a cocky smirk spread on the first year's face, making him roll his eyes before he dipped his chin down in a nod.

"Yeah, shut up. It's just boring, it's not like I'm going to need it anyways," Even said while leaning back in his seat, his legs spreading forward and touching Isak's, yet the boy remained still, not moving away from the contact---in fact Even could swear he could feel Isak lean his own leg even further on Even's but he dispelled the thought quickly.

"Do you need any help?" Isak asked confidently yet sincerely, placing his elbow onto the table and leaning his chin onto the palm, a soft smile playing on his lips.

Even snorted at the question, shaking his head in disbelief.

_ This boy. _

"You're a first-year Isak, I'm a third. I don't think you'd be able to help very much."

Isak's bottom lip protruded in a petulant pout, making Even's heart stutter and his fingers twitch as he got an inexplicable urge to move forward, run his thumb over the pink flesh, or better yet, press his own lips against it.

"You have no faith in me," Isak interrupted his thoughts as he spoke in a whiny voice, "I could be a genius for all you know."

"The genius of Hartvig Nissen, huh?" Even teased him, crossing his arms against his chest while Isak nodded with a grin.

"Yup," The boy said, popping the p and nodding his head, his curls swaying slightly. 

Even hummed softly before speaking, "I'm sure you are, pretty boy, but I'm not going to risk it and let you write this."

Isak rolled his eyes at the words, yet his nose scrunched up slightly and a rosy colour bloomed on his cheeks at the nickname, the familiarity of it making Even smile and tilt his head to the side, desperately trying to stop himself from calling Isak every pet name under the Sun if it elicited that precious reaction from him.

"So you don't like Biology," Isak said after a beat of silence, "What  _ do  _ you like?"

The genuine interest in Isak's voice made Even's lips quirk up in appreciation, he couldn't remember the last time someone took such a genuine interest in him, the last time someone wanted to know about him and it wasn't pretend. Or, maybe he couldn't remember the last time he actually wanted to tell someone about himself.

"Film, art, that sort of shit," He could feel his face heat up as he said the words, watching as Isak bit his lip for a moment before he spoke.

"You _make_ films or?" 

His brows were furrowed, his head tilted to the side in the most adorable way as he asked.

"Yeah," Even nodded, "I used to make them with a friend, but," He stopped himself from continuing, his gaze averting downwards at the bitter reminder of what he used to have, but he shook his head, instead focusing on Isak, "Anyways, yeah I do."

"Are you any good?" Isak said with a teasing smile, one of his brows arched up as Even grinned at him. But Even could still sense that the boy was at least a bit impressed by the newfound knowledge.

"I'll show you one day when you come over."

Isak nodded quickly before his skin reddened at the eagerness he displayed, but Even didn't care, he thought it was incredibly endearing that Isak wanted to see them, that he seemed interested. And all Even wanted to do was show him, see if Isak liked them, if he thought they were good, and that thought made him frown slightly, having never needed anyone's approval before, but it was different with Isak. He wondered what part of the film would make him smile, what would make him cry, what would make a giggle burst out of him. He needed to know.

Isak parted his lips, about to say something but Even never found out what it was as they both heard a buzz, and then another, and Isak was forced to shove a hand into the pocket of his jacket, grabbing his phone and frowning at the screen as he read the notification. Even observed his expression, worry enveloping him as he saw Isak's face fall slightly, anger and clear hurt covering his features, a look far too similar to the one Isak wore in school when he snapped at Even, and all the third year wanted to do was reach over, brush his fingertips between his eyebrows and smooth out the skin between them, make the frown disappear.

"You alright?" He couldn't help but ask as he watched Isak's body stiffen, his hands tense as he nodded.

"Yeah, I- I should go," Isak stuttered out, his voice shaky and clearly upset. He pushed his phone back into his pocket and grabbed his cup, already standing up from the chair without so much as looking at Even.

"Okay," Even said softly, Isak nodding once in response and about to turn away, but Even couldn't let him. He couldn't let him leave again when he was clearly upset. So he grabbed him, his long fingers wrapping around his small wrist, his thumb pressed up against his pulse point, and he could feel the boy's heartbeat quicken, matching his own.

"I'm here if you need to talk, just text me if you need anything," He said as gently as he could, subconsciously rubbing his thumb over the soft skin of Isak's arm in a soothing manner.

And relief spread through his body when he noticed a smile pull on Isak's lips, the boy looking at him shyly as he nodded.

"Thanks, Even," He said with a quiet voice, gratefulness clear in his tone. 

Even retracted his arm, the loss of contact making his fingers twitch with the need to feel the boy close to him once more.

"I'll see you around," Isak said once more before turning around, Even watching his every step, golden curls bouncing as his small hand grabbed the doorknob and opened the door, and then he was gone, yet the phantom of their skin touching still lingered on Even's fingertips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter has Even having sex with another guy, so if you don't want to read about that skip the parts between the ***'s. Also, we stan bottom Even in this household.  
> But yeah, I didn't have them fuck in this chapter, shock horror, but they did actually, ya know, have a conversation. So there you have it.  
> As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter. What did you think? What do you think will happen next? Just say whatever, I don't mind.
> 
> If you have any questions about this or any other of my fics, OR if you have any prompts/headcanons you'd like me to either put in some of my fics OR write a one shot for, or if you just want to talk about some hc's, you can head over to my Tumblr:  isaksforelsket   
> Twitter: vandervaltersen


	9. hasty decisions

The chatter of the students surrounding him washed over Isak completely as he sat on the hard and cold chair, making him shift and move in an attempt to get at least a tiny bit more comfortable. But it was of no use. 

He tried to focus on the conversation happening around him, something about a party and Mahdi hooking up with someone, some girl in second year, Isak couldn't be sure nor could he find it in him to care. Their voices were mere background noise at this point. He picked at the sandwich in front of him, trying to force himself to bring his hand up and take a bite of it, get some sort of energy back into his tired body.

Jonas' glances towards him didn't go unnoticed; he could tell his friend was worried and he knew it wouldn't be long before he asked Isak to open up, tell him what was going on and talk to him about what was troubling him. Just as Even had asked. But even though Isak would usually find it annoying, he would usually think the person was prying and would roll his eyes, Even's offer felt different. It felt sincere, and sincerity is something he deeply lacked in his life, as well as the kindness and patience in Even's eyes as he gently wrapped his fingers around Isak's wrist, the memory of which was still burnt into Isak's mind, the phantom of Even's touch making him move his hand under the table, wrap his own fingers around the limb in a poor attempt to replicate the feeling.

The buzzing of his phone interrupted his hazy thoughts, the memory of Even and his gentle touch disappearing from his mind and anxiety filling it instead.

He knew who it was, and he knew what it was about as he had been receiving apologetic messages ever since their fall out. But he couldn't bring himself to feel anything but pure annoyance and anger whenever he read what his father sent him. What used to be a reminder of pain and loneliness was now a source of frustration.

He pushed his hand into the pocket of his hoodie, pulling his phone out and unlocking it, hastily opening the messages and already preparing himself for the sour turn his mood will soon take.

**Pappa**

_Isak, just answer my calls._

_I've said I'm sorry._

_I know that you're mad at me and I understand why, I haven't been much of a father lately, and I'm sorry._

_Please call me when you can, I want to talk to you about something._

Heaving a sigh, Isak pushed the phone back into his pocket, choosing to live in ignorant bliss a little while longer before he was forced to actually respond to the man he was so angry with and listen to whatever excuses he had to give him. 

With a small shake of his head, he straightened up where he sat in the chair, looking at his friends and desperately trying to get back into the conversation, hoping it would serve as a good enough distraction.

But, before he could even try, something else grasped his attention. A sound of a boisterous laugh made him turn his head, his eyes searching for the source until they landed on the person whose mere presence now brought far too many conflicting emotions. Because Isak knew how arrogant and cocky the third year was, but he also knew that no matter how hard he tried to, he simply could not hate Even any longer. Not when he treated him so kindly. Isak presumed his affection for the older boy was purely a product of the lack of kindness in his young life, his desire to feel any sort of soft and caring touch, the touch which Even had provided multiple times, whether it was simply an act to get Isak to be more pliant or not, he did not know. Nor did he particularly care. All he cared about at that moment was watching the way Even's head tilted back towards the ceiling; his eyes closed from the mere ferocity of his laugh; his hand resting on his stomach as his other arm remained wrapped around Chris' shoulders, the boy that was still telling a story which left Even laughing in such a boyish manner.

Isak couldn't help but let a small smile pull on his lips as he leaned his elbow onto the table in front of him, resting his chin on his palm, his gaze still fixed upon the small group of Penetrators sat around the table in the far left corner of the room. He felt the warmth seep into his chest when Even tilted his head and looked at Chris with nothing but fondness in his eyes, a grin still placed firmly upon his face, making him look far more youthful and free than ever before. Yet Isak couldn't help but notice the tinge of a bitter feeling developing within him, a desire to feel that fond look directed towards him, not Chris, not anyone else, but him. And just as he thought that, as if he sensed his presence and his thoughts, Even turned his gaze, meeting Isak's and smirking when he saw Isak looking. The younger boy looked down to his lap straight away, redness covering his cheeks as he bit his lip, the embarrassment at having been caught enveloping him fully. But he still forced himself to look up, to meet Even's eye, and when he did his skin turned a shade redder than before. Even was looking at him with something akin to adoration pouring out of him, but Isak knew that wasn't it, yet he still felt his heart flutter at the sight of Even's previous smirk melting into a soft, kind smile, only directed towards Isak, his face even softer and sweeter than it was when he was looking at Chris and the younger boy allowed himself this small moment between them and he smiled back, whether it was involuntary or not he did not know, but with the way it made Even's face light up he did not care. 

The third-year gave him a small wave with the hand that was still placed on Chris' shoulder, making Isak roll his eyes and his blush deepen before he focused back onto the people around him, no matter how much he wished to look back towards the group of the older students. 

Releasing a sigh, he looked towards his friends, and that's when he noticed Jonas' stare on him. His friends' eyebrows scrunched up in clear confusion, his lips pulled together in a tight line, and as if it was happening in slow motion, Isak's heart raced while he watched Jonas turn his head to the side, looking at exactly what Isak had hoped he wouldn't notice, the Penetrators, and even before Jonas turned his head back towards him, Isak knew what he would assume, and he knew he was fucked.

Jonas looked back at him, this time his lips were parted and his eyebrows were raised, a knowing twinkle in his eyes before a smirk appeared on his face. 

Isak was quick to roll his eyes, desperate to appear casual and as if his heart wasn't racing and his palms weren't sweating where he had them placed on his lap, but he knew that Jonas could see the blush on his face, and he knew Jonas could read him better than anyone. So, he shouldn't have been surprised when Jonas leaned closer to him, forcing Isak to meet his gaze once more as Jonas spoke with a cocky grin.

"So, was it Even you were looking at?"

Isak's lips parted as he tried to get his words to come out, at least to get rid of the smirk on Jonas' face, but he couldn't think of anything to say. With each second passing by he could feel his face turning a shade redder, and he could practically feel the smugness emitting from his best friend.

Luckily, he was saved from having to think of an excuse when he heard Magnus pipe up.

"Oh shit, did you guys hear what Even did a while ago?" 

Isak's eyes snapped towards the blonde boy, carefully watching him as the boy took a bite of his sandwich, chewing loudly while gazing at the rest of the group. Jonas raised his eyebrows once, nodding in confirmation as Mahdi did the same, the latter crossing his arms against his chest while he leaned back on the chair.

Isak's brows furrowed, his head tilting to the side as he tried to think of what it was as he was sure he would be aware of anything Even had done in the past few weeks. But nothing came to mind and he couldn't stop the words from spilling out of his mouth.

"What did he do?" Isak said with a slight tinge of worry in his voice, making him cough in order to cover it up, but he still noticed the way Jonas looked at him, the knowing stare of his best friend making him focus solely on Magnus and Mahdi.

"Weren't you there when it happened?" Mahdi asked calmly, leaning forward to grab the bottle of Coke from the table, speaking while opening it. "He chewed that girl Elise out in front of everyone, right in the middle of the hallway."

Isak's lips parted, eyes widening as he remembered the scene, as he remembered watching it unfold and Elise walking away on the verge of tears. 

"It was so fucked up," Magnus added while nodding, Jonas humming in agreement.

"I don't know what she was expecting though, everyone knows he's a fucking asshole," The words Mahdi spoke were those with which Isak would normally agree, yet now they left a bitter taste in his mouth. He bit his lip in order to stop himself from saying anything, from defending Even in front of the guys that thought he hated him.

"Yeah, I didn't actually think he'd stoop so low and do that shit though," Jonas started with a small sense of anger in his tone of voice. "I mean, come on. The dude fucked half the school and he hasn't been in a relationship with any of them. He has sex with them and then leaves them, that's it, he doesn't care about anyone he sticks his dick in but I didn't expect him to humiliate someone so publicly. He's an asshole."

Isak dug his fingers into his jean-clad thigh, hoping the small distraction of pain would prevent him from doing something stupid. He kept his eyes on the table in front of him, trying to understand why he even felt the desire to say something, to make them see that Even isn't that bad, that what they were saying wasn't true at all. He did care, he had to. Perhaps it was the gratitude he felt towards the third year, the memories of his kind eyes making him want to tell them that right now Even is the only one that he could lean on, Even is the only one that offered to help without trying to force Isak to open up. It was simply gratitude, that's it.

Magnus snorted at the heated words, nodding before he spoke. "Yeah, he's worse than William at this point."

Isak's face twisted into that of distaste, and he knew it was obvious, and before he could bite his tongue and stay quiet, he let the words spill past his lips.

"No, he's not."

He could feel the heat seep to his cheeks, and he could definitely hear the determination with which he spoke those words, and judging by the shocked expressions on his friends' faces, so could they.

Isak coughed to get rid of the awkward tension within his chest, a desperate attempt to clear his mind and think of something to say, but the feeling of Jonas' glare on the side of his face made his thoughts even less comprehensible than they already were, the panic at the situation he had gotten himself in filling his body.

"H-He's not as bad as him, William will always be worse than anyone else."

Jonas snorted at what Isak had said, shaking his head in what appeared to be disbelief as the other two boys kept their eyes on him, making him squirm in his seat in discomfort.

"So," Mahdi started, licking his lips and grinning at Isak, "How do you know what Even is like though?"

Isak rolled his eyes, shrugging his shoulders in what he prayed to be a relaxed manner, but he could feel the tension in his body, the sweat on his palms.

"I don't, but I do know that William is a dickhead, and no one can be worse than him. He's probably just pretending to be all tough but I'm sure he's not actually like that."

The boys stared at him without a word coming out of any of them for several moments, moments which seemed far too long in Isak's mind, and during these seconds he had realized what he had actually done. He had defended Even in front of the people that were used to listening to Isak insult the third year and reject all his advances while claiming it was because Even is simply not the type of person he'd want to be with. And he knew the boys would suspect something. But that wasn't the main issue running through Isak's mind. No, not at all. What bothered him was the fact that he even tried to defend him, the fact that he felt obligated to do so because the boys talking in such a manner about the third year angered him more than he thought it should. He didn't understand why he couldn't listen to them speak of him in that way, the confusion visible on his face as he furrowed his brows, hands moving until they gripped the sandwich in front of him and he instead chose to focus on taking a bite, dutifully ignoring both Jonas staring at him in expectation and the strange nagging feeling in the back of his mind.

* * *

The cold wind hit Isak's face as he stepped into the school courtyard, making him pull the battered red scarf higher up on his face as he trotted along towards the gate, desperate to get home and burrow into his bed, into the comfortable all-enveloping warmth and safety of his home and far away from the questioning eyes of his friends, ones which he had been avoiding ever since the incident at lunch. He simply could not bear to try to explain his newfound stance when it comes to Even, he couldn't explain it even if he tried as he himself didn't understand it, and didn't even have the energy or strength to even try to begin to understand the swirling of thoughts and emotions within him.

The buzzing of his phone made his steps falter only slightly, but he still carried on while begrudgingly pushing his hand into his pocket, his fingers stinging from the cold as he unlocked the device, reading the text which made his heart pound in his chest no matter how much he wished it didn't.

**Mamma**

_Mark 11:25 – And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses_

Regardless of the content and how much he wanted to dislike it, Isak still found himself smiling at the message if only for a split second, and then the memories of who he should forgive crossed his mind. The image of his father stuck in his mind and he simply could not escape it.

He shook his head, his frown deepening as he locked his phone, still holding it tightly in his hand as he raised his head, about to step out of the courtyard when he felt someone grip his arm, making him stop in his tracks and turn his head, about to ask the person what they wanted when he saw who it was and the tiny bit of hope he had at having a decent day disappeared into thin air.

"What?" He snapped as he watched Adrian run a hand through his untamed curls in a seemingly nervous manner.

"I- Fuck, look I just wanted to apologize again. For the party and the way I acted when I apologized the first time," He stopped to take in a deep breath, Isak crossing his arms as he waited for him to continue, still rolling his eyes to remind the older boy that this conversation was not one Isak wanted to have. "You don't have to forgive me or like me, but I know that I acted like a massive asshole and it was fucked up of me to do that, I should've left you alone at the party and I should've acted like a human being when I said sorry the first time. I get it if you don't forgive me, I do, but I just wanted to apologize anyways cause you don't deserve to be treated the way I treated you. So, I'm sorry."

Isak's lips parted at the words, he knew that Adrian was someone that he couldn't be close with, someone that he didn't want anything to do with, but the apology somehow seemed sincere. Maybe it was the earnest expression on the third year's face, or that strange twinkle in his dark eyes that Isak couldn't decipher, but Isak couldn't help but let a small smile grace his features as he dropped his arms to his sides, some of the tension leaving his body.

At the sight, Adrian grinned slightly, tilting his head to the side as Isak sighed.

"Okay, apology accepted I guess," Isak said quietly, kicking a pebble with the tip of his shoe before he looked up.

"Yeah?" 

The sheer excitement and exhilaration in the older boy's voice made Isak snort, shaking his head in disbelief before he nodded.

"Yeah, sure. Just don't bother me anymore."

Adrian laughed at the words, and even to Isak it seemed to be overexaggerated, fake, but he simply assumed it was because the third year was eager to stay on Isak's good side, for what reason Isak didn't know but he didn't particularly care either.

"Okay, I won't, I promise." Adrian winked at him before taking a step backwards from Isak, a grin on his face as his gaze trailed down Isak's body, the younger boy far too oblivious to even notice as he smiled at him, turning back around towards the gate, starting to walk once more before his phone interrupted him again, making him stop and let out a groan at the noise. 

He quickly read the message, immediately wishing he hadn't.

_Psalm 9:17 -  The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God._

Rubbing a hand over his face, he tried to not think about the message, about the meaning behind it or even how his mother was doing. He simply couldn't bear to think of anything but distracting himself.

He bit his lip in contemplation, looking around the yard before his eyes landed on someone walking by, The Penetrators hoodie wrapped around their small body drawing his attention to them, making Isak follow them with his gaze before he read the back of it. Even's name printed in red, and somehow that only made his mood worsen. He inhaled sharply, looking away in order to forget about what he saw, and how it made him feel, how it brought some ugly emotions to the surface, how it made him want to find Even and remind him how good Isak is, that he doesn't need anyone else, that he should just throw all those damn hoodies away cause Isak is all he needs. 

Isak shook his head quickly, pinching the bridge of his nose to alleviate the headache that seemed to appear out of nowhere. 

But, no matter how it made him feel, the sight made him think of a solution to his problems, even though it would only be temporary.

He rushed to open the conversation with Even, quickly typing out a message and sending it, hoping he would respond straight away.

**Even**

_Are you free right now?_

He started walking once more, his phone still in his hand while he headed towards the tram station from where he'd hopefully be heading to Even's instead of back home.

Just as the coldness started to creep into his being, making his fingers ache, he felt the buzzing of his phone, his heart beating faster as he rushed to read it.

_Sure, pretty boy. Come over to my place._

With a sigh of relief, Isak pocketed his phone and with a hasty step headed towards the station.

* * *

He didn't know why he was nervous, why his heart was threatening to beat out of his chest as he stood in front of the door of Even's flat, waiting for the older boy to open door. He rubbed his hands together before wringing them in front of himself, rocking on the balls of his feet and looking down the hall when he thought he had heard something, but then the door clicked and opened, and before he could even process what was happening, what Even was even wearing, a strong arm was being wrapped around his slim waist and he was being pulled in, a gasp escaping his lips before a giggle followed as Even closed the door shut and pressed him up against it, his hand now placed on Isak's hip as the other one rose up until he could cup his cheek, his thumb stroking over Isak's cheekbone and making Isak's pulse race even faster than before.

"Hi," Isak choked out, his breathing coming out ragged as he coughed to clear his throat, a blush covering his face when Even raised his eyebrows, smiling down at him before he trailed his gaze over Isak's body, the hand that was on his hip mere seconds ago now gripping the hem of his T-Shirt, pulling on it lightly before he pushed it up, his fingertips creating goosebumps all over Isak's skin as his palm pressed against the small of his back, pulling him closer until their chests were pressed up against each other, Even lowering his face until he could nuzzle his nose against Isak's.

"You look cute today," Even said with a smirk, making heat rise up to Isak's cheeks as he rolled his eyes, refusing to say anything back to him and instead pushing the jacket off of his shoulders, letting it drop to the floor before he wrapped his arms around Even's neck, pulling him closer until their lips were mere inches away.

"Shut up," He didn't give time to Even to say anything else as he pressed their lips together, kicking his shoes off before Even turned them around, hands sliding over Isak's back before they gripped his ass tightly, taking careful steps forward and leading them to his room, all the while their lips remained connected.

"What's gotten into you?" Even groaned out as Isak latched his lips onto his neck when they separated, stumbling through the doorway into Even's room. 

"Hopefully," Isak panted out as he moved to look Even into his eyes, "You will."

Even rolled his eyes, snorting at the comment as he placed both his hands on Isak's cheeks, pushing him until the backs of his legs hit the bed.

"You're a fucking idiot," His plump lips were suddenly pressed up against Isak's, leaving him breathless and wanting once Even moved away, his gaze still focused on Isak's red spit slicken lips as a thumb came down to trail over the bottom one. "I love it."

Before Isak even had to chance to react, a gasp left his mouth when Even kissed him fiercely once more, their tongues mingling as Isak's hands came up, gripping Even's T-Shirt and trying to pull him closer until their bodies were connected and Isak was falling down onto the bed. But a frown pulled on his face when Even moved away from him, patting his thigh gently as his gaze trailed down Isak's body, pure hunger and lust emitting from him, his pupils blown as he bit his lip before speaking.

"Get on all fours," Even said with a deep, gravelly voice, leaving Isak no other option but to turn over straight away, leaning on his forearms as he lifted his ass up in the air.

He heard Even shuffling around, the sound of the drawer being opened and closed, and suddenly a strong hand was reaching for his pants, unbuttoning them before gripping the waistband and hoisting them down over his ass along with his boxers, making him gasp in shock for only a split second before the sound of a bottle of lube being uncapped took over his senses. Before he even realized what was happening, slick, wet fingers were rubbing over his entrance, a shaky exhale coming out of him at the feeling as Even gripped one of his ass cheeks, pulling it to the side while Isak relaxed his muscles, and finally Even's finger slipped in, pushing inside of him and moving out quickly, not giving him any time to get used to it as Even knew he could take it.

"Fuck, Isak, you're so fucking tight, so good, I can't wait to get inside of you."

The words seemed to pour out of him, the third year not even realizing he was speaking as he continued to push his finger in before he added another, crooking them and making Isak seemingly melt into the sheets, arms folding from the feeling as his ass tightened around Even's fingers, face being shoved into the mattress as he moaned loudly, rocking back and trying to get more, needing more.

"Even, just fuck me, it's fine," Isak panted out, fists gripping the covers beneath him as Even rubbed a hand over his back where his T-Shirt had bunched up around his torso.

"Shh, just let me take care of you, I don't want to hurt you," Even said with a voice much too kind for how brutally he kept pushing his fingers inside of Isak, fingertips pressing against his prostate and rubbing in circles until he added the third digit, the stretch making Isak pant and moan, toes curling and back arching even further than before.

Even seemed to deem him ready enough, which Isak was infinitely grateful for as he tried to bring himself down from the edge Even brought him to, and suddenly Isak heard the crinkling of the condom wrapper being opened, only a few moments afterwards the familiar sound of a lubed up hand fisting a hard cock was heard in the small room.

And finally, Isak felt the blunt pressure of Even's thick cock against his hole, letting him slip the head inside and forcing his body to relax, a moan coming out of him as he arched his back, Even's hands gliding over his body until they gripped his ass cheeks, spreading them further apart as he slipped inside, inch by inch until his hips were firmly pressed up against Isak's ass.

"Fuck," Even groaned out loudly, grinding further into Isak's ass as his thumb came down to rub at the stretched out skin of Isak's rim. "You take me so fucking well, sweetheart, you're so good."

Isak could feel the firm pressure of Even's fingertips digging into the soft flesh of his hips, the feeling of it growing stronger as Even pushed in deeper inside of him, the slap of skin against skin heard within the confines of the room, interrupted only by the grunts of pleasure coming from behind him and the moans Isak couldn't help but let out as the thick length inside of him dragged along his tight walls.

Even shifted behind him, his hand coming down Isak's back until it reached his hair, fingers pushing through the golden strands and gripping, pulling Isak's head back as Even leaned forward, his cock now deep inside of him and Even's hips grinding forward, making Isak's eyes roll into the back of his head as his lips parted on a deep moan, Even's lips suddenly pressing to his temple before he moved down, whispering into his ear.

"You like that, baby?"

A shiver ran down Isak's spine as the hot breath hit his sensitive skin, nothing but a soft whimper coming past his lips as he came closer and closer to the much too needed release.

"Ev, Even," He gasped as Even moved up, thrusting forward harshly and setting up a rough pace once more, his hips angled in a way that hit Isak's prostate on every thrust, leaving the smaller boy an incomprehensible mess beneath him.

Isak pushed his cheek further into the softness of the sheets beneath him, hands gripping the covers and pulling as a sob left his body and a tear slid down his face. 

He could feel Even's pace falter at the sound, the desperation within him making him whine in discontent as he pushed his hips back as much as he could with Even's hands gripping them, trying to fuck himself back and bring back the pleasure he was feeling seconds ago.

"Even, please, please, please," He gulped heavily, trying to calm himself but instead releasing a moan. "Fuck, keep going, please, I need it."

Even groaned loudly at the words, his hand lifting off of Isak's hip before it landed a sharp slap on his ass cheek, making Isak jump in surprise before he moaned loudly, back arching even further as Even started to fuck him in earnest once more.

"You're so good for me, baby, such a good little boy, fuck." Even said breathlessly and Isak knew he was getting closer to the edge, he could tell by the panting in his voice, the groans he occasionally let out as he gripped Isak's cheeks harshly, pulling them apart and looking down at where they met, the way his hips were stuttering, pace faltering.

"Touch me," Isak moaned out as he came closer, only needing one small feel of Even's hand around him to push him over the edge. "Please, fuck, please."

The simple touch of Even's fingers around his dick made him shiver, thighs trembling and mouth dropping open as he moaned loudly, his body unable to decide where he wanted to move, onto the cock inside of him or into the tight channel of Even's hand.

“Yeah, that’s it, cum for me, angel,” Even groaned out as he twisted his wrist on the upstroke, the sensation finally making Isak spill out onto the hand which was now cupped beneath his cock, catching all of his cum so as not to spill onto the sheets as Even kept pushing deeper inside of him, Isak's entire body shaking from the force of his orgasm as he came down from his high, realizing that Even was still inside of him and was struggling to stay still as Isak's ass clenched around him.

He whimpered when Even grazed against his sensitive prostate, wanting him to pull out, or better yet soothe his ache by cumming deep inside of him, filling him up with cum, the thoughts making a shiver run through his body.

His eyes fluttered open and suddenly there was a cum covered hand in front of his face, Even's other hand running soothingly down his side as Isak turned shyly to look at him, a small frown between his brows.

“Clean it up, baby.”

The command in Even's voice brought another wave of arousal through Isak's spent body, but he tampered it down as he wrapped his shaky fingers around Even's wrist, bringing it closer as he shyly ran his tongue over the mess he had left, the taste exploding in his mouth but the twitch of Even's cock inside of him and the loud moan from the other boy forced him to keep going, making him push the fingers inside of his mouth, swirl his tongue around them until they were clean, releasing it slowly and turning his head, his mouth still open and filled with cum as he waited, hoping that he did good, that Even thought he was good.

“Fuck,” Even groaned loudly, gripping Isak's chin firmly and making sure his lips remained parted as he looked down at him. And suddenly Even was coming closer, leaning over his body until their lips were pressed together, Even's tongue meeting Isak's and making the older boy moan at the taste of the cum still in Isak's mouth.

"You're so fucking hot, so good for me," Even groaned as he moved his head back, Isak whimpering as warmth filled his body at the praise.

“Do you need me to pull out?” Even asked with a hint of desperation in his voice, hands still moving over Isak’s body as he waited for a response.

Isak hummed softly, rubbing his cheek against the sheets before he moved his hips, pushing back onto Even's cock and making the third year gasp before he started moving once more, pace picking up as he chased his own release.

Isak whined from the overstimulation, brows furrowing as he tried to clench around Even's cock, make him cum faster, and the effect he desired was there, Even groaned loudly as he gripped Isak's hips, pounding into him faster and faster until his hips finally stuttered and he moaned out in pleasure, spilling out into the condom as Isak whimpered.

"Fuck, so good, baby," Even panted out as he finally caught his breath, Isak squirming and patiently waiting for him to pull out, and when he finally started to move, inch by inch dragging along his sensitive walls, Isak whimpered before a whine came out of him.

"Sh, sh, it's okay, you're okay," He finally pulled out completely, Isak's hole fluttering around nothing as Even gripped his hips, turning him around so that he was laying on his back.

Isak blinked up at him sleepily, his gaze unfocused as Even placed a hand on his cheek, thumb rubbing his cheekbone softly before he spoke.

"You okay, sweetheart?"

With a soft hum of satisfaction, Isak closed his eyes, nuzzling further into the palm pressed up against his flushed skin and turning his head to press his lips against it, making the soothing movements of Even's thumb stop for a moment and forcing Isak to open his eyes, gazing up at the third year who was looking down at him with his mouth slightly open, a strange emotion flickering through his irises, a sort of fondness that Isak would usually think far too much into but the daze his orgasm left him in only made him smile softly before sighing.

“Can we go to sleep, please?” The softness and sleepiness seeped through his voice as he blinked up at Even, eyelashes fluttering as the older boy smiled at him before nodding.

Even moved to the side quickly, reaching for the tissues on the nightstand and using one to clean Isak up, wiping the lube and cum off of him like he always had, always taking care of him first.

Even moved away from him, throwing the condom and tissues into the trash as Isak lifted his hips up, pulling his pants down completely and throwing them down onto the floor before he pulled his boxers back up as Even did the same with his own clothing. The first year went to pull his T-shirt up over his head, the sluggishness of his movements making him huff and whine when he struggled to pull it over his head. He heard an amused yet enamoured chuckle coming from above before strong hands gripped the offending garment and threw it to the side.

“Do you want something to sleep in?”

The deep voice made him look up before he shook his head, turning around on his knees and crawling to the top of the bed as he pulled the covers down, getting his body underneath the cool sheets while Even looked at him for a second, shaking his head with a smile before he approached him slowly, leaning forward and placing a kiss on Isak's forehead, the action making Isak's breath hitch before he seemingly melted into the mattress, all tension leaving his body as he hummed his appreciation of the simple gesture of affection.

He frowned at his thoughts, no, it wasn’t affection. It was purely Even wanting him to be comfortable, to feel safe after what they had done. It was nothing more.

“Do you want some water?” The words made the thoughts disappear from his head as he licked his lips, shaking his head and pulling the covers up closer to his chin.

“Okay,” Even said quietly, his voice so kind and soft it made Isak's heart clench. “I’ll be right back, don’t worry.”

Isak's eyes fluttered shut as he sighed contently, the sound of footsteps exiting the room the only thing heard as he patiently awaited Even's return.

He pushed his face further into the pillow, inhaling deeply and noticing the strong deep scent of pure Even enter his system, a smile pulling on the corners of his lips slowly.

His peace was interrupted abruptly as his phone buzzed, making him groan and scrunch up his nose in annoyance before sighing, lifting himself up on his elbow and looking down at the floor in search of his pants before finally noticing them right next to the bed. He reached down, searching the pockets before he grabbed his phone.

The sight of the messages on the screen made him groan as he pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

**Pappa**

_Isak, please call me. I want to talk to you about something._

_It’s nothing bad, I promise._

He stared at the message, both confusion and annoyance filling his mind as he tried to decide what to do. He didn’t even notice the sound of Even coming back until the older boy spoke.

“You alright?”

Isak sighed as he looked up at him, nodding stiffly and shuffling back on the bed, allowing Even to slip under the covers next to him. 

“You sure?”

The older boy reached forward with one hand as he bent his other arm and tucked it under his head, his hand now grazing over Isak's cheek and making him shut his eyes as his curl was pushed behind his ear.

“Yeah,” He finally responded, his voice quiet and soft before he looked back to his phone.

_Just tell me what you want. I can’t call you._

Surprisingly, his father started typing a response straight away, making a frown appear on Isak's face, Even's hand still toying with his hair and keeping him grounded, the only thing keeping him sane. His lips finally parted in shock when the message came through.

_I know I haven’t been good to you and I know we haven’t spent much time together these past few years, so I wanted to ask if you’d like to come to my apartment for your Christmas holidays? We can go out for meals, decorate the tree and have a nice Christmas together. I just want to spend some time with you. And I have a surprise for you too._

He blinked at the shining screen in shock and he could feel Even's confused gaze on him, but he didn’t care, he couldn’t focus on anything else. This was everything he wished for, everything he wanted was right at his fingertips and he didn’t know what to do. He knew he wanted to keep the grudge he so desperately held onto for so long, but his desire for love and kindness from his father overcame every bad emotion in his heart. He knew he should be mad at him, and he knew at some point the bitterness would return but right now all he could think about was the joy he’d feel at having some form of family with him next month during the time when he felt the loneliest.

His fingers were flying over the keyboard before he could think about his response properly, his teeth dug deeper into his bottom lip as he hesitated for a split second before finally responding.

_Okay. We can do that._

_Good, we’ll talk about everything on the phone, I can’t wait to see you, son._

Isak couldn’t help but allow a smile to unfurl in his face, his cheeks almost aching from the happiness that bloomed within him and he was sure he’d float away had it not been for the hand still pushing through his hair, bringing him back to reality.

He locked his phone with a sigh, leaning over Even's body and placing it on the bedside table and just as he was about to move away, Even's hand gripped the back of his neck, pulling him closer until their lips were pressed together firmly while Even's other hand stroked his waist over the soft duvet.

"You seem happy," Even said softly as Isak moved to lay on his stomach, half of his body on Even's as he trailed a gentle touch over Even's collarbone, his cheek leaning on his chest.

"Yeah," He lifted his head up, smiling at Even, "I guess I am."

Even looked at him for a second, hand stilling where it was stroking over Isak's head before he smiled, leaning forward to place a kiss on Isak's forehead as the younger boy sighed, laying back down and shutting his eyes, hoping he'd fall asleep soon.

Yet, his mind couldn't calm down, he couldn't help but think about seeing his dad once more and about everything that they'd do together, about the Christmas that they'd spend with each other, his heart nearly bursting out of his chest with how full it was, how happy he felt that he wouldn't have to see the pity on Jonas' face when he told him that he wouldn't be seeing his family during the holidays and that he definitely did not want to intrude on Jonas' family during the time, instead opting to spend the time all alone.

_Fuck._

The bitter reminder of his friend came back to haunt him, the conversation he had today now returning to his thoughts and not leaving him alone. And he couldn't help but be reminded of the girl that had been brought up as well. Elise. He knew there was nothing he could do for her but he still felt bad for what had happened, the humiliation that she must've went through when Even treated her the way he had, a small sense of bitterness and anger appearing in Isak's body at that. He knew that Even wasn't like that, he couldn't be, not with the way he was holding Isak so tenderly, not with the way he took care of him.

Even must've felt his body tense as the older boy hummed in question, arm tightening where it was wrapped around Isak's shoulders.

Isak took a deep breath, readying himself before he moved up, leaning on his elbow and staring down at Even.

"Can you apologize to Elise?"

Shock and confusion flashed through Even's expression, his brows furrowing and his arm loosening around Isak, but Isak wouldn't let this go. He raised his eyebrows in question and waited for a response.

"Why should I? I don't care about her."

Isak could sense that Even was lying to him, he knew the words were forced and that he did, in fact, care a great deal about what he had done. And he knew that the stubbornness would prevent Even from doing what he knew was right, no matter how much the other boy must've wanted to fix the situation.

Isak sighed in annoyance, rolling his eyes before looking back at Even, seeing the discomfort in his expression but through it all, he could also see the guilt.

"Please," Isak said softly, his tone much different than before, much softer. "Just do the right thing."

Even blinked at him, not saying a word as Isak tilted his head to the side.

"For me, please."

He didn't know why he added the words, why it should even matter or change Even's mind, but somehow they did. The third-year seemed to relax into the sheets, his hand coming up to tuck a curl behind Isak's ear once more before he sighed, a smile pulling up on his lips.

"Okay, I will."

Isak released a sigh of relief, knowing that at least one more thing will be set right in the world.

He smiled softly as he leaned forward, his body moving off of its own volition and suddenly his lips were pressing against Even's cheek, grazing against the soft skin as the other boy sucked in a deep breath, shocked at the contact, but Isak didn't care.

He moved lower, laying back down and nuzzling into the crook of Even's neck.

"Thank you."

Even's hold tightened around him, his head turning as Isak felt his plump lips pressed up against his temple, making a small smile appear on his face as Even said one quiet word, "Goodnight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!!! Hello!! It's been a while, 2 months or something like that I believe.  
> So sorry to keep you guys waiting for an update, it's been a bit hectic in my life and I haven't been able to find the time or the motivation to write this. But I'm back now and my life is a tiny bit better, so hopefully my upload schedule won't be as trash anymore.  
> Anyways, hope you guys like the chapter! Let me know what you think of it, of their relationship so far, or what you think might happen, I don't mind, I just like talking to you guys!
> 
> If you have any questions about this fic, or if you have any prompts you'd like me to write about seperately OR even include in this fic, let me know on my Tumblr:  isaksforelsket   
> And if you want to listen to me bitch about writing, or anything else, head over to my Twitter: vandervaltersen


	10. sunlit

A groan spilt from Even's lips the second he felt the sunlight shining onto his face, regret filling him as he remembered he had forgotten to close the curtains before he had shut his eyes and fallen asleep, annoyance mixing in with the emotion as he realized that there was no chance for him to fall back asleep, there was no use in even trying. He twisted and turned his body, stretching until he shoved his face into the warm pillow beneath his head. He threw his arm to the side, half expecting to feel the supple figure and warmth of the boy that had fallen asleep next to him to there, but instead he was met with nothing but cold and abandoned sheets. 

Lifting his head up sluggishly, he looked to his side, his eyes glancing down to the edge of the blanket which had been thrown away haphazardly, almost as if the person had been in a rush to get out. His hand flattened on the mattress, something akin to disappointment settling in his bones as he remembered the feeling of a comfortable weight on his body when he fell asleep. But now it was gone, and he couldn't help but miss the boy that had fallen asleep on top of him, and before he could stop himself he found himself wishing that he had stayed, or at least that he hadn't woken up and Even got to open his eyes and see his smooshed cheek on the pillow beneath him, his curls sticking out in all directions as he slept peacefully, the same way he had been last night. Maybe Isak would have woken up, those green eyes slowly blinking open and looking up at him before Even got the chance to taste his lips once again. But he didn't have that, and he never will, and he shouldn't be wishing for it.

He frowned at the clenching of his heart, rubbing a hand over his face and trying to make the feelings arising within him to evaporate into thin air, because he didn't want that, he didn't want to feel that way, and he didn't feel anything but slight affection towards the boy. He didn't want anything like that with Isak, or anyone at all for that matter. He knew that he would never be able to give anyone what they deserved, nor would they want him in the first place, so he simply pushed that thought into the darkest, deepest crevice of his mind, and never sought it out, never even considered the option. And yet somehow Isak managed to bring it out in him. He succeeded in making Even wish for the intimacy that he did not need or even particularly craved for, and Even knew why that was. He understood that he had missed the comfort of someone he trusted sleeping beside him, and he did trust Isak, and he did care for the boy, just not in the way that his treacherous mind wanted him to believe. No matter how much he enjoyed the affection and the company of the first year, he did not want those things for any longer than one night, nor did he think that he would be able to handle spending more time with Isak. It didn't not matter how endearing his grumpiness was, or how cute he could be when he let himself relax and not follow the rules he seemed to set up for himself, it didn't matter one bit.

Heaving a sigh, Even sat up in his much too spacious and empty bed, the mattress feeling even bigger now that he was the only one in it. Lifting his arms above his head, he stretched, feeling his joints pop before he yawned loudly, covering his mouth with one hand as he scratched his chest with the other. 

He turned to his side, eyes trailing over the room in search of his jeans in which he knew his phone was before they reached his nightstand, and he saw the item he had been looking for, and he suddenly remembered how it got there. He had woken up in the middle of the night, disoriented and confused at the warm weight planted on his chest until he looked down, seeing Isak asleep on top of him. He had shifted slightly, hoping to reach down onto the floor and find his phone to check the time without somehow disrupting the boy's sleep, but Isak had still whimpered at the movement, nuzzling closer to him, almost as if he was petrified of Even leaving his side. But it didn't matter, because the second Isak had done that, had released that sweet sound and moved closer to him, all previous thoughts and ideas had simply evaporated from Even's head and all he could do, all he could bare to do, was gaze down at the sleeping boy next to him. He had lifted his hand from the pillow, his arm aching from Isak's weight pressing down on it, but it didn't matter, he simply placed his hand onto his shoulder, pulling him in closer before he lifted his other hand, pushing a stray curl behind his ear and savoring the content sigh Isak had released at the soft gesture, and Even couldn't help but let a smile unfurl at the sight of him, the softest boy he had ever seen. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against Isak's forehead, inhaling the scent around him and closing his eyes shut, marvelling at the mere peace he had felt at that moment. His hold tightened around Isak's shoulders, a sudden pain appearing in his chest, around his heart. He didn't know how or why Isak made him feel this way, why he had this strange desire to give him everything and anything he desired, why this boy made his mind blank yet so full at the same time, full of only one thought-- 'I want to make him happy.'

He sighed heavily, shaking his head and desperately trying to reel himself back into the present, to stop thinking of the small moment of weakness he had had in the dead of the night. All he could do was hope that those feelings would never appear again, that they were simply a product of a tired mind and a touch starved body, he prayed that this sense of protectiveness and care he had for the first year were merely circumstantial, because he knew that it couldn't possibly be anything more that that. He was aware that it had been quite a while since he had the urge to take care of someone the way he did with Isak, it's been a long time since someone had even slept beside him without his mind rushing to figure out how to get as far away from them as possible. It had been 2 years since he had that, 2 years since Sonja was spending almost every night with him, making his heart race and his cheeks hurt from smiling, until she decided that she didn't want to anymore. And the feelings Isak had awakened within him, the sense of comfort and the intimacy between them, it was simply far to reminiscent of the time Even actually had that, the time he had someone. He didn't feel the way he did because it was Isak. It was Isak was there. He was convenient.

He lowered his head for a moment, hands covering his face as the thoughts swirled in his mind until they cemented themselves into his brain, no matter how much some deeper part of him was protesting. 

With a turn to the side and a loud groan, he grabbed his phone and sighed as he unlocked it, raising a hand to rub one of his eyes as he looked at the screen, finally noticing the notifications on the screen as his thumb flew over it, opening the conversation with Adrian and Chris.

Yet, as soon as he had done so, he wished he hadn't.

**Adrian/Chris**

**_Adrian_ **

_(photo)_

_won't be long until I have him bent over in front of me_

_can't believe he's actually falling for my shit lmao_

_'im so sorry isak :( im such a horrible person, i'd never dream of hurting your feelings' lmao pathetic_

_**Chris** _

👍👍

Even inhaled deeply as he read the messages, the words themselves already enough to make anger rise within him, but the photo was the thing that pushed him over the edge. Even if Adrian hadn't said who it was, Even would still recognize him. He'd know the body, those jeans, even the way he was standing, he'd know it was Isak. He stared at the photo, the focus of it on Isak's ass being squeezed by the dark and tight denim, and he knew that this wasn't out of the norm. They had always sent photos of other people to each other and commented on them, made jokes that shouldn't be spoken, that oftentimes left Even sitting on his bed wishing he hadn't said them in the first place, but he pushed that feeling out of his mind, not allowing it to settle in his body and instead he continued with the games, with the lewd comments, as did the other two boys. Which is why he knew that he was meant to do the same this time around, he was supposed to talk about how hot Isak is, how he'd love to spread him open, but he couldn't. The anger he felt blinded him and muffled his thoughts. Anger at the way Adrian was talking about him, the way he seemed to be mocking Isak and his kindness and his forgiving nature. He knew Isak had forgiven Adrian, but Even couldn't, and he wouldn't. He could feel his heartbeat speed up, his palms sweating and itching as he tried to reel himself back in and stop himself from saying something he'd surely regret.

After placing the phone on the bed, he ran both hands through his hair, groaning and scrunching his eyes shut as he gripped the strands and pulled, trying to think of what to do. He knew he couldn't ignore it, he never does, but even if he wanted to he simply could not bear to do so. He had to say something.

He gripped his phone once more, his thumb shaking as it hovered above the keyboard, but then he read Chris' reply, something that he didn't pay much attention to at first. Even frowned at the sight, at the callous response, almost as if he didn't want to respond almost as much as Even.

Picking on his bottom lip with his thumb and forefinger, he stared at the conversation for a few more moments before finally taking in a deep breath, deciding to say something before he changed his mind.

_Dude, that’s not cool. Why you taking pics of him like that? It’s creepy._

He waited for a reply, but he knew that it always took a while for them to respond, so he chose to distract himself instead. He threw his feet over the edge of the bed, getting up and heading towards the bathroom, deciding that a cold shower is the best thing to do at this point, hoping it would distract him from both Isak and the fact that his friend was becoming increasingly more irritating.

The buzz of his phone made him slow down, his hand lifting and reaching for the doorknob as he read the reply.

_**Adrian** _

_what the fuck?? we do this shit all the time, how is it any different with him?_

_stop being such a little bitch even, who cares about the kid_

Even took a deep breath at the words. He wasn't surprised, he knew what Adrian was like, and he knew that he expected Even to react the same way he always does, but he simply couldn't.

_Just stop._

Shutting his phone off to avoid talking to him any further, he quickly entered his bathroom, his brows pulled up in a frown as he trying to tamper down the anger he felt. The anger he still didn't understand.

He stood before the mirror, looking up at himself and his reflection, his body still naked from the night before as he set his gaze the marks left on his neck, the bruises commonplace on his skin, yet somehow they felt different this time around, they always felt different when Isak was the one to leave them behind. He reached up with his hand, trailing his fingertips over the edges of it, almost feeling the phantom of Isak's pretty lips pressed up against the spot, sucking and licking and marking him. Even bit his lip at the thought, warmth covering his cheeks as the memory appeared in his mind, a smile pulling on his lips. 

Marking him. Almost as if Even was his, only his.

He dropped his hand, his cheeks heating up even more as he coughed to release the tension that was suddenly enveloping his chest.

Running a hand through his tangled hair, he groaned in frustration.

He was so fucked.

* * *

The door to the locker swung open once Even put the code in. He reached in, shuffling through the many objects until he found the book he was looking for, his hand gripping the door once more but a figure beside him made him stop in his movements, his brows furrowing as he looked at the person beside him.

_Oh, fuck._

He recognized him. Or, at least he thought he did. He knew he was Isak's friend, close friend judging by how much time they spent together and how many hugs he witnessed the two sharing. Something bitter rising within him at the thought.

He raised his eyebrows in question as the boy rolled his eyes, pulling his yellow beanie down to his thick eyebrows before fixing Even with a glare.

"Listen, dude," The boy started and crossed his arms as Even turned towards him after shutting his locker, leaning on it with his shoulder while he pushed his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. "I'll just cut to the chase and come out and say it."

Even frowned at the confusing mixture of nervousness and confidence the boy was displaying.

"What the fuck is going on between you and Isak?"

Ice seemed to fill Even's veins, his mouth dropping open before he could stop himself, his eyes widening at the question.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

He shook his head, scrunching his face up and desperately praying that all he appeared to be was confused rather than shocked.

He let out a laugh, smirking at the younger boy and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"The blond twink?" Even said with a surprisingly calm voice, but the words felt sour leaving his mouth as he knew that Isak was more than that.

The brunette rolled his eyes at the words, making Even think that he must've picked up the habit from Isak, however it was much more endearing when Isak did it.

"Yes, sure, whatever. Just tell me what's going on."

Even shrugged, his heart pounding in his chest and threatening to escape as he looked the first year in his eyes.

“Nothings going on.”

Isak's friend groaned at that, making Even’s palms sweat as his mind already raced with the thoughts of how he’d apologize to Isak, how he’d get the boy to forgive him for letting his friend find out cause he clearly knew something, Even could tell by the frustration the boy was exhibiting.

“I saw him looking at you at the cafeteria on Friday and he doesn’t look at anyone that way, so just tell me if you’re together or not.”

His heart sped up once more but this time for a different reason. He would’ve gasped had he not been trying to keep a hold of himself. He knew that he had seen a different side to Isak that day, he knew the boy seemed to melt when their gazes met, but apparently, he wasn't the only one, his best friend could tell too. But Even couldn't think about that, not when he also said Isak never looked at anyone that way. And he couldn't help but wonder... What was Isak thinking?

Something akin to hope grew inside Even and he simply didn’t understand why. He squashed it down as soon as he felt it, and tried to reason with himself instead. He simply felt happy because he now knew Isak had a soft spot for him, there was nothing more to it other than pride and joy at the fact that the snarky first year that acted as if he was unreachable finally had his walls broken down, by none other than Even.

Even sighed loudly, blinking a few times and returning to the present, and instead of thinking of Isak and what his friend had said he tried to focus on getting himself out of the situation. He bit his lip, trying to think of something, anything.

“How do you know he was looking at me?”

He crossed his arms, raising his eyebrows and hoping the boy couldn’t tell how tense his body really was.

“Who else would he be looking at? He only knows you and I know you used to flirt with him all the time, and I saw you talk to him a few times and he'd always get weird afterwards.”

Even rolled his eyes, scoffing at the words as he looked down at the floor, shaking his head and trying to think of what to say even as he felt his cheeks burn.

"Sorry to tell you but he wasn't looking at me."

The first year scrunched his face up, dark eyebrows furrowing as he glared at Even for a moment before taking in a deep breath, his gaze of disbelief turning into that of confusion.

"Who the fuck was he looking at then?"

Even knew that he shouldn't say anything, that he should simply walk away and get himself out of the situation as fast as possible.

He shrugged and sighed in what he hoped would appear to be an annoyance. "I don't know, man."

The boy looked at him again, tilting his head to the side as he tried to figure something out, and Even couldn't let him carry on thinking about this, he knew he had to get him to stop thinking about him and Isak being together, he had to make sure no one found out.

So he said the name of the first person that came to his mind.

"Chris."

He cursed himself for even opening his mouth, fighting every instinct in his body that told him to slap his hand against his face and run as far away from the situation as possible. But he couldn't do that, he was in too deep. He knew Isak would eventually call him out on it and probably be mad for doing this. He could already imagine the way the boy will frown, scrunch his face up and cross his arms against his chest and stare up at Even while the third year desperately trying not to coo at him and call him cute.

He almost smiled at the thought. Almost.

The sound of shock from in front of him shook him from his thoughts, making him blink and focus on the way the mouth of the boy before him was wide open in confusion.

"Chris? Fucking Chris?" The confusion and disgust in his voice made Even bite his lip to prevent laughter from leaving his mouth, but he still felt a bit of resentment at the way Chris' name sounded coming out of his mouth.

He nodded slowly, letting out a sigh before deciding that he might as well try to convince him of the lie.

"Yeah, they talked a few times at parties, so they must've hit it off or something."

The first year looked at him for a few seconds, almost as if he was trying to decide whether he believed him or not, and Even could feel his heart speeding up at the scrutiny he was under.

But thankfully, Isak's friend released a breath, nodding as his tongue darted out to wet his lips and he let out a disbelieving laugh.

"It's just that, the boys mentioned you that day at the cafeteria, they might've said some not very nice things," His eyes flicked up towards Even, probably out of nervousness at Even's reaction, but Even didn't care. He already knew people didn't like him, and Even gave them plenty of reasons to do so. It didn't matter what they thought of him at all. "And Isak was very quick to jump to your defence."

Eyebrows shooting up in the air, Even couldn't help but let a grin take place on his face as he took the words in, his heart clenching and skipping a beat before he took in a deep breath to calm himself. But he still couldn't believe it. Isak had defended him.

"Oh?" He tried to sound uninterested, bored almost, but he knew that the slight tilt in his tone betrayed him. He coughed to cover it up as the curly-haired boy frowned up at him. "What did he say?"

Isak's friend groaned at that, tilting his head up towards the ceiling before looking back at Even.

"Nothing, just something about how you're not so bad, how you're not really like that or some shit, I don't know. He was just adamant that you're really a great guy, or something."

A blush appeared on the boy's face as he spoke, but Even didn't care, all he could focus on was the fact that Isak felt the need to say something, to defend Even and speak up to his own friends. Bashfulness took his being over, he couldn't focus on the conversation any longer.

And luckily, he didn't have to. The sound of the bell interrupted the awkwardness between the two boys, and the other boy seemed to be as grateful as Even was at the interruption.

"Right, I have to go to class." The first year mumbled out before swiftly turning around, practically running away from Even as the older boy snorted, rolling his eyes and pushing himself away from the lockers, walking in the opposite direction.

But with every step he took his thoughts ran back to Isak.

Isak who risked having his friends find out about them just because they were saying something nasty about Even, something that was probably true. Even smiled at the thought, the first year seemed to be far sweeter than he let on, having defended someone that didn't even deserve it.

Even pushed his hand into the pocket of his jacket, fishing his phone out and unlocking it swiftly, glancing upwards every once in a while so as not to walk into anyone as he flicked through his texts, finally opening the conversation with Isak.

**Pretty Boy**

_You're cute._

He watched as the 'read' receipt showed up, making him bite his lip as he awaited for a response.

_???_

Even snorted, he could practically see the confused look that Isak would have on his face while reading the sudden text.

_Nothing. You're just cute, pretty boy._

He locked his phone, putting it back into his pocket as he opened the door to the classroom, a smile still plastered onto his face.

* * *

The cold air blew into Even's face as he finally stepped out of the school at the end of the day, and he suddenly couldn't wait to walk back into the warmth of his flat and go to bed. He let out a sigh, taking step after step towards the gate, but then he caught sight of the person he still wanted to talk to, and preferably would get to take home and fuck into the mattress, but just as he was about to walk over to him, tell him to come over, and stay the night in his bed, Isak's friends joined him in the courtyard, surrounding him and talking to him, making the boy smile and roll his eyes and Even could see that there was something different about him, he almost looked lighter. Happier. Even glanced to the boy next to Isak, and he could see it was the first year that had spoken to him the day before, and yet he wasn't speaking, instead he was simply observing his friend with a pensive look on his face.

Even sighed in disappointment, about to head home and jerk off on his own while thinking about the last time he got to fuck Isak, but suddenly he saw someone that reminded him of a promise he had made, no matter how begrudgingly he had said it, how much his mind was screaming at him and telling him to say no, he still told Isak he would apologize to Elise.

He bit his lip in thought, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jacket as he tried to prepare himself for what he was about to do.

He never did this. Not with anyone, no matter how poorly he treated them, no matter how many times he glanced at them in the hallway of the school and his stomach turned at the thought of the things he said and did to them. But this time, this time was different. Not only had he humiliated her in front of everyone, Isak had asked him to do it. Isak wanted him to do the right thing, and no one ever expected Even to do that, no one ever even bothered to ask or confront him about his behaviour, no one ever tried to give him the push he needed, but Isak did.

He took in a deep breath and finally took a step forward, and another, and another, and soon enough he was walking towards Elise and her group of friends, his heart pounding in his chest when she lifted her gaze and frowned at him, her face in a grimace as she grabbed the arms of her friends, about to leave when he was two steps away from her.

"Elise, wait."

Even watched her stop her movements, her friends glaring at him as he licked his lips to give himself some time to prepare for what he was about to say.

"Can we talk? Alone?" She blinked up at him, still not saying anything, but Even couldn't give up, he knew Isak was there, watching him, but somehow this mattered beyond that. He simply needed to do this. "It won't take long, promise."

Elise sighed, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear before she nodded, her friends mumbling something at her that Even couldn't comprehend but he could assume they were telling her not to do this, he knew from the tone of their voices, the way they kept throwing angry glances at him. But Elise seemed determined. She said something to them that made them stop talking, both of them looking resigned, but the anger and worry still remained on their faces. They threw another glare at Even before walking away, Elise taking a step towards him and pushing her hands in her pockets as she looked up at him.

With a deep breath, Even shuffled on his feet, nervousness suddenly encompassing him and leaving him incapable of having a single coherent thought.

It wasn't until she raised her eyebrows in question, annoyance clear on her features, that Even shook himself out of his stupor.

"Look, I just want to apologize for all the shit I did to you."

Elise's eyes widened before she managed to school her expression into neutrality, but the shock she had shown was clear.

"I'm sorry for taking you out and making it seem as if I was actually interested in a long term relationship. It wasn't right of me to toy with you or your emotions like that, you deserve honesty and I didn't give you that, so I'm sorry."

Elise's lips parted as she stared up at him and for once Even felt his cheeks flush at the scrutiny, but he continued.

"And I'm sorry for what happened in the hallway."

He saw hurt appear on Elise's face, her eyes twinkling and awakening something within Even; pure regret, something he hadn't allowed himself to feel in a long time. But as he stood before this innocent and sweet girl, he couldn't help but think about everything that he had done up until that point, and with every word he said to her he could feel some parts of him chip away, something deep within him being unleashed, a part of him which he had hidden away ever since everything that had happened with Sonja.

"Oh." Elise suddenly said softly, the first thing she had said since Even walked up to her. Even looked away for a second to gather his thoughts, and that's when his eyes landed on Isak once more, the boy looking down at the ground as his friends talked around him, but then the boy lifted his hand, placing it on his neck and rubbing the soft, smooth skin while a grin appeared on his face, the sun shining on the curls peeking through under his hood as he giggled, and Even couldn't explain the need within him to go closer, to have the privilege of hearing the sound of his laugh. And Even remembered why he was even doing this, and his thoughts cleared, his mind not as stifled as he kept his eyes on that pretty face until he simply had to look away.

He fixed his gaze back on Elise, the girl still gazing up at him with shock and confusion riddling her features, but there was something else there, some emotion that gave Even hope that this would work, that he'd be able to redeem himself.

"That was fucked up, no one deserves to be spoken to like that. I didn't want you to think anything could happen between us, I figured that once we had sex you'd realize that I didn't want anything else just like everyone else did, I thought that because of my reputation I wouldn't have to explain anything to you. But then you came up to me, and I didn't know what to do, so I responded in anger. There's no excuse. You're a sweet girl and you just wanted to spend time with me and I treated you like shit. I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that."

Elise blinked up at him, long dark lashes fluttering as the wind suddenly blew, making her shiver and sniffle slightly as she raised her shoulders to protect herself from the cold.

"I- thank you for saying that," She started, frowning and looking down for a split second before meeting Even's gaze once again. "It was a bit of a dick move of you to do that."

Even snorted once he noticed the light tone of her voice, rolling his eyes as he nodded, trying to hide the relief he felt. 

"Yeah, it was a massive dick move. You deserve better than that, Elise."

She smiled softly at that, pursing her lips for a second and tilting her head to the side as Even frowned at the girl, waiting for her to say what she's thinking about.

"You're different, you know?"

The words hit him in the chest, his breath hitching as his lips parted. 

He wasn't. He couldn't be. He had become this version of himself, Penetrator Even, the moment he had met William on the first day at Nissen, and he never let anyone see anything other than that, they didn't need to. He hid every part of himself away until this was all that was left, he hasn’t changed since.

"I'm not really."

Elise shook her head, sighing and shrugging slightly. "I think you are. You seem different, anyways. More relaxed. Even when we went on the date I could tell you were a bit tense, like it was difficult for you to stay focused on me, but now it's different. It's good, don't worry."

Even tried to speak, to tell her that he was the same, exactly the same, there was nothing good about him, nothing worth noticing and admiring, but she seemed to think there was, and he simply didn't have the strength to deny it, so he nodded stiffly.

"Are we chill?" He couldn't help but speak with a hopeful voice, wishing that he could make this right.

Elise smiled up at him, nodding quickly before she took a step back. "We're chill."

She turned her back to him, walking away towards her friends as Even let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and suddenly he realized breathing was easier. It felt as if some part of his mind had finally cleared up, he had done something right.

He looked up, turning to the side towards the gate, about to walk away when he noticed a pair of green eyes on him. Soft, special eyes.

Isak was looking at him, a strange sort of expression on his pretty face, and it took Even a few moments to realize what it was. Pride.

Even smiled at him, tilting his head to the side and raising his eyebrows in question, but Isak simply returned the smile, and Even knew he would apologize to every person he had ever wronged if it meant he would get to see that look on Isak's face.

And that's when it hit him. He had changed. Whether he'd like to admit it, something was different. He didn't know if it was because Isak seemed to have some strange power over him, this ability to talk him into doing what was right, or if it was simply time. Time to change who he is and who he could be.

But he realized it didn't matter. He would change a thousand times if he had to, all that mattered was the blush that appeared on Isak's cheeks as the boy ducked his head for a second, only a moment later peering up at Even through his lashes.

No, it didn't matter one bit.

* * *

The corridors were empty as Even walked through them, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he languidly strolled through the school, about to head out and go home, hoping for inspiration to strike so he could spend the afternoon drawing.

It had been an easier day than most, brightened by the smile Elise had given him when he walked past her in the morning, the acknowledgement that they were okay after his apology yesterday reminding him that he had done something right. But he still felt as if there was something missing.

He looked up once he heard footsteps heading towards him, and a smile spread on his face when he realized just who it was. He watched Isak look down at his phone, not paying attention to where he was even going, the much too familiar frown present on his face once again, and all Even wished to do was to make it disappear.

They were about to walk past each other, right next to the door to the toilets, the room in which Isak had chewed him out and snapped at him the last time they were in it together.

But Even didn't care.

He wrapped his hand around Isak's bicep, grinning at the surprised yelp the smaller boy let out, the sound turning into a groan once he realized who it was.

"Come on," Even said as he pulled Isak to the side, the boy stumbling after him as Even opened the door and pulled him in, quickly dragging him into one of the cubicles and shutting the door behind them. 

"Okay, what the fu-" The rest of the words were muffled as Even pressed his lips against Isak's, pushing him against the now-closed door as the boy suddenly melted into him, a whimper coming out of him while his hands gripped the edges of Even's jacket and pulled him closer as Even slid his tongue into his mouth, tasting him and flicking his tongue in a way he knew would make Isak's knees buckle.

Even reluctantly moved away from him, taking in a deep breath as he kept his eyes closed, and his mind immediately chastised him for daring to break the kiss, for breathing in instead of keeping his lips firmly pressed against Isak's, the latter seemed much more important anyways.

His eyes fluttered open, focusing on Isak's spit slick mouth, his eyes half-lidded as he gazed up at Even in shock before smiling softly, leaning back until his head hit the door. He quirked his eyebrow up in question while wrapping his arms around Even's neck, and suddenly the older boy felt silly, felt stupid for being so overcome with the need to feel Isak that he simply had to drag him in here.

He rolled his eyes, shrugging as he licked his lips, hoping to hide the way his heart stuttered as he gazed down at the boy before him.

"You're hot."

Isak let out a laugh at that, the melody of it making a smile pull on Even's lips as he placed his hands on Isak's hips.

"That's it?"

Even hummed in confirmation, moving forward and pressing his forehead against Isak's once again.

As he watched Isak's soft, almost fond, smile he remembered what Isak's friend had said. He remembered how Isak had defended him to his friends, stood up for him, and Even's smile grew at the thought as he wrapped his arms around Isak's waist, pulling him closer to his chest.

He would've teased the boy. Brought it up and said that it's clear Isak is suddenly going soft on him, maybe he'd even accuse him of having a crush, but as he looked at Isak's relaxed expression, his features carrying no tension or anxiety, he couldn't bring himself to do it. No matter how much satisfaction it would've brought him to watch the pink appear on Isak's cheeks, he wanted to keep him like this for as long as possible, nothing weighing on his shoulders. No thoughts about anything but this moment, this minute.

"Do you want to come to my place after class?" Isak's voice interrupted his thoughts, making him blink and focus on the lovely face in front of him.

He was just about to nod, say that of course he will, of course he wants to spend the afternoon hearing Isak's sweet moans and making him gasp in ecstasy, but he was interrupted by a buzzing in his pocket, the sound far too loud in the quiet room.

A sigh escaped his lips, both at the interruption as well as the fact he was now forced to focus on something other than the boy pressed up against him.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, reading the notification on the screen and feeling his face fall at the reminder.

**Mamma**

_Don't forget about your appointment this afternoon, sweetheart. Did you take your meds this morning?_

Even bit his lip to prevent a groan from exiting him, instead locking his phone and putting it back in his pocket. Of course that would've been the reason for the interruption, of course that would be the reason he can't spend more time with Isak. But he knew it was necessary and unavoidable, he had to go.

He looked back at Isak, at those patient green eyes carefully taking in his expression. Even knew that his frustration must've shown when Isak's brows furrowed, his head tilting to the side as he wrapped his arms around Even's neck once again, one of his hands pushing through his hair and playing with the strands.

"Everything okay?"

Even sighed at the patient tone of his voice. Always willing to let Even sort his thoughts out, asking but not expecting anything, and yet Even couldn't tell him. No matter how kind he knew Isak to be he simply couldn't admit what was going on with him, what was wrong with him. He thought that maybe Isak wouldn't trust him anymore afterwards, maybe Isak's fond gaze would change into something else, something different and mistrustful. Even could handle that from anyone else, but not from Isak, and he didn't know why. He simply couldn't.

So, he nodded quickly, taking in a deep breath and plastering on a well-practised smile.

"Yeah, just have to do something today so I can't hang out later."

Isak hummed at that, his brows still furrowed, his bottom lip now stuck between his teeth as he observed Even.

And Even knew that Isak wanted to ask more, but he didn't, still trusting Even, not demanding anything more than what he was willing to offer.

Even raised his hand, smoothing Isak's frown out with his thumb before he pushed a golden curl behind his ear, leaving his hand on Isak's neck and pulling him in for a soft kiss, a kiss much gentler than what they usually shared.

"Don't worry, pretty boy," He said once they parted, grinning down at a dazed Isak before he pulled him in closer, pressing his lips against his forehead. "I'll see you some other time."

He couldn't help but look at Isak one more time. That look in Isak's eyes present once again, the one that Even couldn't decipher, one that he didn't even dare to give any thought to.

A smile pulled on his lips as he dragged his hand down Isak's shoulder, down his arms as he unlocked the door to the cubicle and Isak moved to the side to let him out, his fingers wrapped around Isak's soft hand, the warmth of his skin seeping into Even's and invigorating his being as he opened the door, finally turning around and exiting it.

He clenched his fist, shivers running down his spine as he tried to get rid of the feeling. Yet the phantom of Isak's touch on his hand remained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand I'm back! Sorry it took a while again! But here it is, this one doesn't have any smut in it, I've decided to instead focus on the way Even feels and just further show you his thought process and why he is the way he is.  
> Hope you guys like it!  
> Let me know what you think, what you liked, anything you want, I love hearing your thoughts!  
> If you have any questions about this fic, or if you have any prompts you'd like me to write about seperately OR even include in this fic, let me know on my Tumblr:  isaksforelsket   
> And if you want to listen to me bitch about writing, or anything else, head over to my Twitter: vandervaltersen


	11. a soothing touch

The soft voice interrupted him from his thoughts, distracting him from the phone which he held in his hands as he looked towards the entrance of the living room from where he was splayed out on the couch, head perched up on the armrest at an awkward angle. He watched as Noora tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, tapping her pockets with her other hand and checking if she had everything she needed.

"You're leaving? Where?"

Eskild's voice was laced with outrage and confusion, and Isak knew exactly why. It was the regularly scheduled night of the week when they all got forced to stay in the living room while Eskild put on whatever show or movie he wanted them to watch, all in the name of bonding, spending time together as a family, and Isak refused to admit to them--or even to himself--that he secretly enjoyed and cherished the schedule and the certainty that they will, at some point in the week, all be together in the same room, like a family. But Noora didn't seem to share the sentiment, and she rolled her eyes, red coloured lips pulling up in a smile as she cocked her head to the side.

"I don't think that's any of your business."

With pursed lips and a quick nod, Eskild hummed at the words before he glanced at Isak, raising his eyebrows, almost as if he was asking _Can you believe this?_

But Isak simply rolled his eyes, smirking as Eskild turned towards Noora from where he sat on the other couch, his legs crossed, hands delicately placed on his knee.

"Okay, so you're going to Eva's, got it."

Noora scoffed at the words, mouth dropping open in shock, but Isak could see the twinkle in her eye at the mere mention of his friend.

"Bye, Eskild."

The man sighed as Noora turned around swiftly, walking out the door while saying goodbye to Isak just before they heard the door to the apartment close shut behind her.

Eskild huffed, shaking his head as Isak looked up at him, waiting for Eskild to start talking about betrayal, and disloyalty, and any other overdramatic adjective which will surely be forgotten about by tomorrow morning when Noora returns and brings home some food from the bakery. 

Isak felt his phone buzz from where he put it down on his chest, making him jump in surprise, breath catching in his throat. He sighed as he rubbed his eye with a closed fist, yawning and unlocking the phone before opening the text, but the second he saw just who it was he smiled widely, dropping his hand down and staring at the bright screen, his eyes twinkling with joy.

**Pappa**

_I’ll send you the money for the ticket soon and I’ll pick you up from the bus station when you arrive. We can go and get something to eat after you settle in. It's only a few weeks until you're here!_

The happiness flowing through his body almost overwhelmed him. No matter how much resentment he had for some of the things his father had done, he couldn’t help but desire his attention and his love, and he was finally giving him it. His dad was trying to be better, to give Isak what he deserved and what he wanted, to be a good father, and Isak couldn’t tell him to stay away and leave him alone, not when he was so close to having some semblance of a family. He knew he had the Kollektiv, and he had his friends, but he craved his father's approval and affection, his body felt empty, weakened by the lack of love in his young life, and it felt as if these small interactions were filling him up with something he hadn't felt in a while. Joy. 

“Are you talking to Even?”

Eskild’s voice cut through his thoughts, making him startle and lock his phone hastily before he glanced up at his friend, a sly grin on his face as he pulled his legs up on the couch and crossed his arms, waiting for Isak to respond.

Isak gaped at him, blinking slowly as he tried to process what Eskild even said.

He shook his head slightly, tongue darting out to wet his lips before he sighed, and he could feel the warmth seeping to his cheeks even at the mere mention of the third year’s name. He raised his shoulders up, lowering his head in an attempt to hide his blush from Eskild.

“N-no,” He stuttered out, coughing to cover up his nervousness. “I’m not.”

He couldn't tell him, not yet. He was well aware of just how much the older man despised his dad for what he had done, after all Eskild had seen Isak at his worst after his father left, and he blamed him fully for all of Isak's hardships, and Isak understood that, he did. And so he kept his mouth shut, keeping it to himself.

He had hoped Eskild would drop it, sigh and go back to talking about his latest hookups or the presentations he has to make for his classes, but no such luck.

“Aw,” He cooed at him, tilting his head to the side as he smiled softly, and Isak couldn’t stand it, mostly because of the redness in his face. He rolled his eyes, huffing in exasperation as he crossed his arms against his chest. “You’re so cute.”

He was about to get up, ready to leave the room and stop this conversation before it carried on, but as if he could sense his thoughts, Eskild leaned forward slightly before speaking.

“So, how long have you guys been dating?”

Isak’s head snapped up, eyes wide as he stared up at Eskild in shock.

What the fuck?

They hadn’t done anything that could make him think that they were actually dating, their relationship hadn't changed at all since it started. 

Isak’s cheeks heated up even further, the shade of pink travelling all the way up to the tips of his ears, and he knew Eskild could see it.

His brows furrowed as he continued to glare at him, Eskild gazing at him for a moment before he arched his brow, still waiting for an answer.

Isak groaned, rubbing a hand over his face and letting out a tired sigh.

“We’re not dating, and you know that.”

Eskild frowned, looking down for a moment, almost as if he was surprised at the revelation.

“But,” He paused for a second, crossing his arms against his chest and leaning back onto the couch. “You like him.”

Isak spluttered at the words, sitting up suddenly and staring at Eskild in shock.

“I do not.”

Eskild tilted his head to the side, pursing his lips and narrowing his eyes as Isak squirmed in the seat, the smaller boy moving until he was leaning back, knees pulled up to his chest.

“Okay,” Eskild spoke slowly, clearly unconvinced. “Is that the truth or are you just lying to both of us right now?”

Isak’s cheeks flushed as his lips parted, letting out a huff before he rolled his eyes, the seconds ticking by as he tried to get his mind to work.

“Yes, of course it’s the truth. I don’t want to be with him.” The words sounded weak even to him, and he knew it was because he wasn’t prepared for the conversation, he didn’t ever want to talk about this with anyone, but it was clear Eskild wouldn’t give up.

Eskild hummed at the words, nodding before letting out a sigh filled with exasperation.

“Okay, what do you think of him then?”

Isak frowned at the question, looking at Eskild in confusion as he brought his hands closer to his chest, pulling the sleeves of his hoodie lower.

“What do you mean?”

Eskild rolled his eyes, sighing in annoyance and almost making Isak pout in frustration, making him want to whine and tell him what the fuck he means.

“If you don’t like him, then why exactly are you fucking him?”

Isak’s cheeks flushed at the question, the mere topic of the conversation making him want to get up and bolt out of the room and run out the flat, but he stayed, forcing himself to stay in his seat as he wrapped his arms around his knees. 

“I don’t have to like him like that in order to have sex with him.”

Eskild nodded at the words, and Isak knew that usually Eskild would take that as an answer and move on, but he was aware that that wouldn't happen this time.

“But why are you still doing this with him?”

Isak’s lips parted, his eyes focused on Eskild as the man crossed his arms against his chest, patiently waiting for Isak to answer the question.

“The sex is good.”

Isak’s cheeks burned at the answer, but it was the truth. The sex was good, only he didn’t understand why the answer made his mind scream at him, why he felt as if he should say more, as if he should explain himself.

Eskild snorted, shaking his head and looking at Isak with what seemed to be pity.

“What is it about him that makes you want to keep going? I know you, baby Jesus, I know that if it was just the sex that was good you wouldn't continue with this arrangement you two have, that's not you.”

Taking a deep breath, Isak leaned back against the couch, his eyes set on a mark left behind by a coffee mug on the small table before him. Eskild was right, that was undeniable. Had there been nothing but sex drawing him to Even he would have ended it after the first time Isak pulled him into the building when Even walked him home.

“I don’t know, at first I was just attracted to him and it sort of happened, he was persistent and confident and I wanted to do it, so I did. And it was good so we kept going, and it is still good, he’s good,” His cheeks flushed as he picked on a string hanging down the inseam of his sweatpants. “I guess the thing that I like the most is that he takes care of me, he makes me feel safe. Whatever we do or wherever we are I don’t really need to worry about what will happen or what I need to do or say or anything like that, I can just relax and be with him, cause that’s all that matters in that moment, you know? Everything else disappears and I can focus on being myself and being with him. And he’s actually kind of sweet when he lets himself be,” Isak felt a smile pull on his lips, his eyes shining with emotion as he kept talking, “Every time we do it he makes sure I’m alright before he does anything else, he gets me a drink and asks me if everything’s okay and takes care of me, and he always keeps me warm when we go to sleep. I didn't think he would but he always cuddles me. He sort of pulls me in his arms as if he just wants to make sure that I'm there and that I'm safe. He’s different when he’s with me, he lets this weird cocky, arrogant persona go a little bit, and I feel as if I can see someone else, someone much kinder than the person he normally is. And he proves it with the way he acts and the way he constantly compliments me and calls me pretty and all these pet names and shit. He just… He makes me feel wanted, and sometimes I think that he does want me, which I’ve never felt with anyone else, so it draws me to him. It just feels like right when we’re together.”

His words trailed off to almost a whisper, his lips parting once again to let out a sigh as he finally glanced back up at Eskild, almost flinching at the sympathy the older boy portrayed on his face. He was leaning his elbow on the back of the couch, face placed on the palm as a small smile played on his lips, not teasing for once, it merely exuded happiness and content, and Isak didn’t particularly understand why.

“Oh, baby. You're so stupid. It sounds to me like you really do like this boy.”

Eskild’s smile was still in place, but Isak’s body was stiff, his muscles tensed as he opened his mouth, ready to defend himself, tell him that no, he does not like him, but he cannot. Nothing leaves his lips, merely a soft sigh before he throws himself down onto the couch, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling. His heart was clenching, stomach twisting in knots as he tried to reel his mind in, get himself to think about what was going on with him.

He couldn’t possibly actually like him, he simply couldn’t. No matter how much he liked the feeling of Even’s hands on him, the sound of his voice whenever he teased him, the smell of the cologne he wears that Isak can’t help but inhale whenever they are near each other, the words he says to him and the way he somehow makes every bad thought Isak had ever had quiet down within his head. He can’t like him.

He doesn’t.

Isak’s eyes clenched shut, bottom lip quivering slightly as his hands gripped his hoodie, trying to get rid of the shaking that simply wouldn't stop.

_Fuck._

* * *

Isak gripped the controller tightly as he lost the game, cursing and throwing himself back on the bed, head hitting the soft mattress as he threw his arm over his eyes, the controller now laying next to him.

“Okay, wow, that was really fucking shit,” He heard Jonas say in a monotone, making him stretch his arm back, grabbing one of the light pillows and swinging it forward, hitting Jonas on the back of his head and pushing his yellow beanie down his forehead.

“Fuck you,” Isak said, his tone lacking the venom he thought it would have as he pushed the pillow beneath his head while closing his eyes shut.

The room was quiet, far too quiet for what it was usually like; loud and filled with laughter. Isak’s brows furrowed as he cracked one eye open, looking at Jonas who was still sitting at the edge of the bed, biting his lip and staring down at the controller he held in his hands.

Isak nudged his side with his knee, putting his arms behind his head as he waited for Jonas to speak.

“What’s up?”

Jonas finally looked at him, bottom lip still between his teeth before he turned towards Isak fully, crossing his legs underneath him and putting the controller down onto the bed.

“So, what’s going on between you and Chris?”

Isak’s brows furrowed as he sat up quickly, almost feeling dizzy at the speed of his movements, but he couldn't have heard him right, he simply couldn't have. He and Chris have barely spoken, and even when they have Jonas had never seen them together.

“What the fuck do you mean?”

Jonas rolled his eyes, huffing out a laugh before he arched his brow, disbelief on his features. Silence filled the room, and Isak knew Jonas was waiting for him to just come out and admit to doing whatever it was Jonas believed he was doing, but there was nothing to say, and so the seconds ticked by until Jonas rubbed a hand over his face and spoke.

“Okay, look, a few days ago, when you were looking at someone at the cafeteria, I thought it was Even, so I went to talk to him, just to make sure that he wasn't being a dick to you or anything like that.”

Isak’s face flushed at that.

_Fuck._

He had completely forgotten that Jonas caught him practically staring at the third year, he simply pushed it out of his mind and ignored it, perhaps out of self-preservation, out of desire to ignore the fact that their little game might be revealed to the world soon enough, but it seemed as if Jonas didn’t forget.

“A-and what did he say?” Isak coughed in hopes of covering up his stutter as Jonas groaned, pushing his beanie off and running a hand through his curls as he threw the garment to the side.

“He said that you were probably looking at Chris cause you two have talked at parties a few times.”

Isak let out a breath of relief; Even covered for him. No matter how he felt about the third year—something which he, himself, didn't even understand anymore—he could at least admit to himself that Even saved him in this situation. He got Jonas off the track, and that’s all that mattered. But for some reason Isak felt a flash of disappointment course through his body at the reminder that Jonas didn’t know, no one knew about what they were doing, about what they were like together, and he wanted to tell someone, he wanted to get some of the stupid thoughts out of his head and have someone help him put them in perspective, to have someone tell him that yes, they're making it work, they're good for each other. He wanted to look at Jonas and ask him why he thought Isak felt this way, why did his heart do a flip whenever Even tucked a strand of hair behind his ear? Why was his mind doing this to him now when everything seemed to be going well? 

He shook his head, trying to focus back on the conversation and forget about himself and his own turmoil.

“Um,” He sighed, trying to get a few more seconds to think about what to say as a blush covered his cheeks. “We just talked a few times, that’s it.”

Jonas hummed at that, and Isak knew that Jonas understood that Isak might not want to get committed to anything, and so he didn’t question it, he simply believed him and took his word for it. And at that thought Isak had to stop himself from turning around and burying his face into the pillow in shame; he was lying to his best friend. The best friend that was always there for him, always held him when he needed it, and now Isak was lying to him about who he was spending so much of his time with. Guilt churned in the pit of his stomach, and he had to bite his lip to stop all of his secrets from spilling out.

“Do you like him though?”

The question was a bitter reminder of his conversation with Eskild, and he looked at his friend, sighing before he threw himself back onto the bed, head hitting the pillow as he closed his eyes and his tongue darted out to wet his lips.

He nodded quickly, “Yeah, he’s nice.”

He wanted to say more, to talk about him for hours on end, to tell Jonas how sweet he was, how kind, how he took care of him, but Isak knew that those words applied to only one person, and they weren’t talking about him, and they never would be. He couldn’t describe someone else as Even, it wasn’t right. The praise belonged to one man alone.

Just as he was about to try and think of something to add, his mind screeched to a halt, eyes almost widening before he reminded himself to relax, to stay calm. But how could he not let his heart quicken its pace at the realization that Even was the one that came to mind during the conversation? Even was the one he wanted to talk about in that moment? He couldn't let himself think about it any further, he simply couldn't.

“Good, man, I’m happy for you.”

Isak nearly flinched at the words, but instead, looked towards his friend, meeting Jonas honest and open gaze, forcing himself to smile in a way he hoped would be convincing. 

“Thanks, bro.”

Jonas turned around, leaving Isak to lay on the bed as the brunette started to play the game on his own, and Isak’s phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket. 

He quickly pulled it out of his pocket, reading the message and almost letting out a groan at the sight.

**Pappa**

_I got my salary so I'm sending the money for next month in advance!_

Isak clenched his eyes shut at the reminder of what he would be doing during the holidays, and he knew he had to tell Jonas, and he also knew how poorly that would go.

“J-Jonas?” He stuttered out, leaning forward on his elbows as Jonas hummed in question, still facing the TV.

“I’ve been talking to my dad again.”

Jonas paused the games straight away, turning towards Isak as the boy looked down at his chest, biting his lip, not even needing to look at his friend to know what expression he wore.

Worried. Tired. Angry.

“Why?” Jonas' voice was deep, filled with resentment towards Isak’s father, and he understood why, he knew that Jonas wasn’t his biggest fan, but Jonas didn’t understand. He’d make everything better, he promised, he was trying.

“He asked me to stay with him for Christmas, and I,” Isak gulped, finally meeting Jonas stony gaze, “I said yes.”

He expected Jonas to be outraged, to slap him on the back of his head and tell him to stop being an idiot, like he had so many other times before. _You’re staying with me Isak, don’t be stupid,_ he’d say, _don’t trust him._

But not this time.

Jonas shut his eyes for a moment as if he was trying to calm himself down before he opened them, and once he did, Isak recognised the emotion in his irises very well, it was one he saw many times before when Isak would come to school visibly tired, his professors would shoot him this look; when he begged Eskild to let him stay at his place, not to make him go home, Eskild gave him this look. And Isak didn’t like seeing it on his best friend.

Pity.

“Isak,” He trailed off, sighing as he tilted his head to the side, his curls falling over his forehead.

“It’s different this time, Jonas, he invited me, he said we’d spend time together.”

Jonas bit his lip, and Isak felt his heart pound as he waited for him to say something, anything.

“You’ll get hurt.”

Isak’s lips parted at the blunt words. He knew it was a possibility, but he couldn’t not try, he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to have something which he craved for so long, he needed this. 

“If I do then I’ll know that at least I tried.”

Jonas looked at him for a few moments, leaning toward him with pure concern in his eyes.

“If he fucks up this time you need to move on. You need to stop. You’ve done this before, Isak. You’d arrange something and then it would get fucked up and you’d end up even more broken than you were before. I love you, bro, and I can’t let you keep hurting yourself. This is his last chance.”

Isak’s eyes pricked with tears at the harsh words, and he averted his gaze once again, desperate to hide the truth of his tumultuous emotions. It was true. It had happened one too many times. He was tired, exhausted of everything he had been through, and this was his last chance.

He nodded as he took in a shaky breath. 

“One last time.”

* * *

He hadn’t spoken to him in almost a week. Ever since they had parted after Even pulled him into the cubicle and kissed him senseless. And Isak wasn’t worried, and he most certainly wasn’t a little bit annoyed over the fact. He wasn’t. There was nothing to be annoyed about. Even was simply busy doing something—or someone, a bitter voice in Isak’s head spoke—else and he simply couldn’t talk to Isak. And Isak dutifully ignored the pout appearing on his face when he thought about the fact. 

Instead, he scrolled through Instagram, laying on his bed and staring at the posts flashing before his eyes; all random, all inconsequential, until one post caught his eye. Isak scrolled past it on accident, making him scroll back up until he stopped on it, biting his lip as he stared at the sight before him.

Even was wearing that godforsaken hoodie, the same hoodie he had given to Isak so long ago, and Isak rolled his eyes at that, but then he looked once more. And this time he couldn’t help but let a smile unfurl on his lips as he looked at all the details of the photo. The plumpness of Even’s lips as he smirked; the hand gripping the edge of the black hood and pulling it over his eyes, hiding the majority of his face and making Isak crave to move the offending garment, to let him see his eyes; only a few strands of blonde hair were sticking out from under it, and all Isak wished to do was tuck them behind Even's ear, to run his fingers through his hair and kiss him until their lips ached. The seconds ticked by as Isak trailed his gaze over every detail, and he couldn’t ignore the clench of his heart at the sight, the way his cheeks were hurting from the smile he had on his face, there was nothing he could do to control his reaction. And he didn’t want to, he didn’t want to have to try to pretend. So, he didn’t bother. He wanted him. He desired him.

His thumb flew over the screen as he opened their texts, quickly typing in a message and sending it before he could even begin to overthink it, his heart thumping as he waited for the response. He reached up, pushing his glasses up his nose, biting his lip as he stared at the chat, and finally, the typing bubble appeared.

**EBN**

_Hey, wanna come over?_

_Right now?_

Isak bit his lip, his thoughts running wild for a second as he tried to figure out if maybe Even didn’t even want to see him, maybe there’s a reason he hadn’t spoken to Isak in a few days, maybe he was getting tired of him and he wasn’t good enough.

Isak took in a shaky breath, fingers hovering over the keyboard as he stared at the last message.

But then Even typed once more and his breath hitched, his pulse racing.

_Issy?_

The corner of his lip hitched up at the nickname, and suddenly at least some of the tension left his shoulders. So, he typed once more.

_Yeah._

Taking his glasses off, Isak practically threw them onto the nightstand beside him as he turned over to lay on his stomach. Isak shoved his face into the pillow, letting out a high pitched whine as he kicked his legs up in the air, lifting one of them before dropping it, repeating the action with the other leg over and over again as he tried to get rid of the nervous energy inside his body. The movements distracted him from the harsh grip he had on his phone, and yet he could feel the redness of his cheeks, the tingling sensation arising on the skin as he ignored the fact that he’d rarely ever felt this way before. Inviting Even over had never been an issue for him because he didn’t care, but in that moment he found his mind thinking about what would happen if Even said no, if Even didn’t want to come. At that thought, Isak realized that he wouldn’t care about the lack of sex, the lack of pleasure and touch, he’d care about the fact that he wouldn’t get to see Even.

His legs stopped in mid-air, his breath hitching at the realization. His phone slid out from his hand as he gripped the pillow instead, pulling the edges of it over his ears and disregarding the pounding in his head, ignoring the fact that maybe, just maybe, there was a small possibility that Even had become someone important in his life despite the protests Isak had shown during the many times Even simply infuriated him, including the very first time they had talked at the party, when Even walked up to him, stood between his legs while Isak dutifully ignored his desire to glance down, look at those plump lips and pull Even closer to him. Despite all of that, Even was not The Penetrator anymore, no, he was much more than that.

Isak jumped as he felt his phone buzz next to his arm, making him lift his head up quickly and grab it, almost dropping it onto the floor in the rush.

But the message he read made him let go of the device regardless, and it fell onto the duvet as Isak pushed the side of his face onto the pillow, smiling as he pushed the earlier realization to the back of his mind, it didn’t matter any more.

_I’m on my way, pretty boy._

* * *

The feeling spread throughout his body, leaving him incapable of doing anything but gasping as he felt Even’s hands on his body, firmly holding him close, fingertips digging into the soft flesh of his ass as Isak sunk lower onto his cock, the head breaching his rim and making his thighs shake. Even moved closer from where he was leaning against the wall, his lips pressing against Isak’s neck as the smaller boy whined in pleasure, moving lower, and lower, his heart nearly bursting at the feeling of fullness. But he kept going, his nails digging into Even’s shoulder blades, and he knew it must be painful, and if he were in his right mind he would’ve apologized once he heard the loud hiss when he pulled on the skin, but he didn’t. Especially not when Even bit onto his neck, sucking and making sure that he was marking Isak right back.

Yes, I’m yours. The thought was fleeting, almost unnoticeable, and Isak ignored it, instead focusing on the dull ache at the base of his spine, the stretch of his rim as he finally bottomed out, his ass touching Even’s thighs, and finally he let out a breath, head falling forward as he nuzzled into the crook of Even’s neck.

“Okay?”

Even’s voice washed over him, his back arching as if he was seeking out the hands firmly pressed to his skin, as if he needed more of the feeling.

A hum left his slightly parted lips, his arms wrapping around Even’s neck as he pressed a featherlight kiss to the skin right in front of him, nestling closer the second after.

He more so felt rather than heard the amused huff Even let out. But all Isak could focus on was the big hands moving up his spine, one of them remaining on his lower back while the other reached his nape, fingertips pushing up into his hair as he moved his thumb in a soothing manner, and no matter the pressure on his prostate, the desperation he felt, Isak thought about how he could stay in that position for hours, for as long as Even wanted him.

His eyes fluttered shut and he moved, a smile pulling on his lips when he heard the moan Even let out at the small movement.

Isak shifted then, leaning back and moving his hips in circles as his eyes settled on Even’s face; his blown pupils, the redness of his lips, the flush on his cheeks.

Isak put a small hand on Even’s jawline, fingertips travelling upwards until he could trail them over his lips, up over his cheek before he pushed them up into his hair. 

Even looked at him in wonder, large hands gripping Isak’s waist and slowly lifting him up, and before he knew it the fullness was overtaking him once again as Even slammed him down.

They moved in sync then; Even careful not to move too quickly, not to overwhelm him, but it didn’t matter. Isak's senses already felt as if they were ablaze; he felt tears fill his eyes at the intense pleasure, his shaky hands gripping the strands of hair on Even's hair as he continued to move his hips, and Even must’ve seen something in his eyes. Perhaps the feeling of wonder and intensity that was coursing through Isak's veins, and Even slowed his pace, arms wrapping around Isak's body and pulling him in against his chest, every inch of Even's body that touched Isak's skin burning him, branding him and ruining him for anyone else. 

“You’re so beautiful.”

The words were whispered, almost as if they weren’t meant to be spoken, but Isak heard them, he saw the movement of Even's lips, the way his gaze softened as he witnessed Isak moving on his cock. Slow; steady; deep. 

Isak's hand moved to Even's neck, thumb catching on his jawline as he sunk lower, lips parting at the feeling, thighs tensing when he slowly started to lift himself up again.

His teeth dug into his bottom lip, desperately trying to stop himself from letting out a sob, a mixture of fear and overwhelming pleasure creating inside of him. He couldn’t handle it; it was far too much for him. The depth of him that Even seemed to reach; the words leaving his plump lips; the way Even seemed to know exactly what Isak needed as he thrust up inside of him, hands tightening around him, fingertips digging into his back as Even leaned forward and captured his lips in a bruising kiss.

A whimper was muffled against Even's lips, the fear suddenly subsiding as he landed back on earth, back to Even where nothing but them mattered. 

“Just focus on me, nothing else, baby,” The words were quiet, laced with something unrecognisable, but Isak obeyed. His movements stopped, if only for a moment to let him breathe in, the steadiness in his breathing coming back as he rolled his hips, and a moan escaped him. 

“That’s it, just stay here with me.”

_I will, forever._

The thought evaporated as quickly as it appeared, and Isak leaned in, nose trailing against Even's skin until he could lean his head on Even's shoulder, hiding himself into the crook of his neck as he continued to move, Even's thrusts remaining slow, almost careful.

“Good boy. So good for me, all mine,” Even said, Isak’s hold tightening around his shoulders at the words, and the smaller boy felt a tear drop, sliding over his nose until it reached the tip, and finally it dropped, falling in slow motion until it reached the searing heat of Even's chest. 

The movements slowed, the time stilling as Isak continued to move languidly.

“Are you okay?”

Isak nodded, a shaky breath coming out of him as he pressed his fingertips against Even's shoulder blades, still grinding, still moving in circles.

“Please. Don’t stop.”

Hands gripped his hips, stilling him completely, forcing a whine to come out of him.

_No, don’t go._

But then the pressure grew, thumbs digging into his hipbones as Even groaned, and snapped his hips up.

His eyes rolled into the back of his head, mouth dropping open as his entire body tensed at the sensation, hands scrambling for purchase as Even's movements sped up, his thrusts harsh, but his hands were now gentle, stroking over Isak's back, pushing into his hair before he lowered them once more, one on his lower back, pressing Isak closer to him, while the other lowered to his ass, palm pushing into the muscle as his fingertips grazed over where he was buried inside of him. Isak shuddered at that, moaning and desperately trying to hold himself together. But he didn’t need to. He didn’t need to try, he knew Even was right there. 

“There you go,” Even spoke after a particularly harsh thrust. “That’s all you needed, huh? Needy boy.”

Isak moaned at the words, ass clenching tightly as his tears continued to stream down his face. 

“P-please,” Isak begged, and yet he didn’t know what for, it was all too much and too little at the same time.

“I’ve got you. I’m here,” He felt Even’s head move, and suddenly plump lips were being pressed to his shoulder, Isak’s breathing hitching at the gesture. “Don’t think about anything else, just focus on feeling good.”

And Isak knew he could do it, he could do anything Even asked of him, so he nodded, letting out a shaky breath and forcing himself to relax all of his muscles.

Even hummed in approval, one hand stroking up his back, fingers trailing over the vertebrae. “Good boy.”

Isak let his body fall against Even’s, chests pressing together as Even sped up his movements, pushing his cock in deeper, harder, and all Isak could think about was how good it felt, how safe it felt to be wrapped up in Even’s arms.

A whimper escaped him when he felt a familiar tightening in his abdomen, and he knew it wouldn’t be long until he reached the edge, but he couldn’t help but wish to hold it off, to be kept on the edge of ecstasy just so that he could keep the firm pressure on his lower back, the soft kisses pressed on his neck and shoulder, he never wanted to lose that. But he was going to, there was nothing he could do to prevent it. This didn’t belong to him, it wasn’t his to keep, and so he had to let go.

“E-Ev, I’m gonna cum.”

Even’s hand gripped his ass, yet the pressure of his fingertips remained as gentle as ever, and that, the softness, the gentleness, was what tipped Isak over the edge, and he was falling; falling as his body tensed, rim clenching as he finally came, a loud moan being released into the small room as the pleasure ran through his veins, only accentuated when he felt Even’s cock twitch, when he heard the loud groan in his ear, and he knew Even was cumming. A shiver ran down his spine as he wrapped his arms around Even’s neck, holding him tightly as the older boy pulled out of him once they both calmed, and Isak couldn’t help but whine at the loss, at the emptiness he left behind. 

“So good, you did so well, baby,” The pet name slipped from Even’s lips as if it was nothing, as if it didn’t make Isak’s heart flip for some reason, and if Even noticed the way Isak tightened his hold around him he said nothing, instead he slowly ran a hand over his back, pressing a searing kiss to Isak’s temple as the smaller boy took in a deep breath and finally moved away. He leaned his forehead against Even’s, eyes closing shut as Even pressed his lips against the corner of Isak’s mouth.

“You okay?”

The question made Isak pause, let out a breath as he opened his eyes. And as his fingers pushed through Even’s hair, Even’s eyes set on him alone, nothing else, Isak nodded, a smile appearing on his features as Even returned the gesture before wrapping an arm around Isak’s waist, suddenly flipping them over and making Isak yelp in surprise before he giggled quietly.

He watched as Even turned to the side, quickly taking the condom off before he grabbed the tissues and doing what he always did, taking care of Isak. He cleaned him up slowly; meticulously, almost as if he wanted to make sure nothing would create discomfort for Isak while he slept. And he couldn’t help it. Isak placed a hand on Even’s nape, the third year only looking at him in confusion for a split second before Isak pulled him down, kissing him gently, the touch more delicate than ever yet more electrifying at the same time.

They separated slowly, lips parting as Isak’s eyes fluttered open, and right there before him was Even’s shocked, yet incredibly fond, expression. Isak moved his hand, tucking Even’s hair behind his ear the same way Even always did for him, and the older boy smiled at that, leaning closer and pressing his lips against Isak’s forehead.

With a content sigh, Isak leaned back against the pillows, stretching his back as Even cleaned himself up, throwing the tissues into the trash can before he ran a hand through his hair and turned towards Isak.

“Do you want anything to drink or eat, pretty boy?”

Isak smiled at the familiar nickname before he shook his head, sighing as he turned to his side, his eyes closing shut.

“Just come to bed with me.”

He knew his voice sounded tired and sated, and he knew that usually Even would say something about it, and he expected him to, he waited for the teasing to begin, but all that was heard was a soft hum of acknowledgement as Even pulled the blankets lower and got underneath them, turning on his side towards Isak as he covered them both up.

Fingertips pressed onto his cheek, moving until they were running through his hair, and Isak couldn’t help but smile at the feeling, shuffling closer until his chest was pressed up against Even’s.

“Feels nice,” He mumbled quietly, body losing any tension it once had as he sighed in pleasure.

“You know, you really are beautiful.”

The words caught him off guard, his lips parted as he opened his eyes, and he saw the sincerity in Even’s eyes mixed with a small amount of shock, almost as if the words weren’t meant to slip off of his tongue, but they did, and Isak heard them.

The blush spread on his face as he smiled, looking down towards Even's chest as he took in a deep breath before he looked back up.

“So are you.”

It was the easiest thing in the world to say the words, to speak the truth as Even wrapped an arm around his waist, smiling at him before he leaned in, lips softly brushing against Isak’s before he turned to lay on his back, pulling Isak in, the smaller boy settling his head against Even’s chest and the familiar sound of his heart beating. 

His smile is still there, soft and fond, and Isak couldn’t seem to get rid of it, he couldn’t stop the way his body seemed to light up as Even pressed a hand to his spine, drawing him closer to his body.

“What’s got you so happy?”

The voice interrupted Isak’s thoughts, and he looked up at Even, Isak's eyes growing soft as he saw the honest expression on his face, but Even’s face changed, his features morphing to those of wonder and shock as Isak trailed his gaze over every inch of his face, desperately trying to memorize it all.

“Doesn’t matter.”

He pushed himself up slightly, pink lips pressing against Even’s cheek, staying there for a few seconds longer than they usually would have before Isak let out a sigh, placing his head down once again and breathing in deeply as Even wrapped his arms around him.

He ignored the rapid pounding of the heart beneath him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks! The smut in this chapter is a tiny bit different than what I usually write. Usually it's very much so filled with horniness but to me it feels like this chapter is a bit more subdued and calm and..........almost romantic? But yeah, I had a lot of fun writing it.  
> Anyways, let me know what you thought, what you liked, whatever, comments fuel me and my soul which is desperate for praise and attention.
> 
> If you have any questions about this fic, or if you have any prompts you'd like me to write about separately OR even include in this fic, let me know on my Tumblr: isaksforelsket  
> And if you want to listen to me bitch about writing, or anything else, head over to my Twitter: vandervaltersen


	12. a fixation

Even’s chest expanded as he took in a deep breath, waking up to the sensation of hot puffs of air on the back of his neck and a slight weight on his naked waist, and even in his tired state he knew who it was coming from. 

Pushing his face into the pillow he groaned quietly, careful not to wake the boy behind him as he stretched his back and shuffled forward so that he could turn around, and suddenly the arm around him tightened, almost as if Isak was scared of losing the warmth of Even’s body even in his sleep. A smile appeared on the older boy’s face as he looked over his shoulder, grinning at the lax expression on Isak’s face before he turned around fully, settling on his side and pushing a hand beneath his cheek as he placed the other on the small empty space between him and Isak.

The sun shone through the window, making him glance towards it with squinted eyes as he realized they didn’t shut the curtains the night before, but it didn’t matter, he would be leaving soon anyways. 

His gaze travelled back towards Isak and he was suddenly grateful for the illuminating sunlight. Isak’s curls were shining, glistening in the light, one stray curl falling down his forehead, and Even raised his hand, pushing it up and behind his ear, the same way Isak had done the night before, the same way Even had done to him many times before. His fingers ran through the soft hair, the boy before him still blissfully asleep as Even trailed his eyes over his slack features. His lashes cast shadows on his cheeks, the skin of which was flushed and pink, the shade seemingly permanent on the boy's face. Even let out a quiet huff of laughter before biting his lip to quiet himself when he saw the parting of Isak’s lips, drool spilling out from his mouth as his cheek lay squished from the fist which Isak had tucked underneath. Even ran his thumb over his brows, moving his hand lower and cupping his cheek, heart stuttering at the way the boy nuzzled into his palm. 

The skin he was pressing his hand to was warm, overwhelmingly soft, the reminder of his lips pressed against it burnt in his mind. He ran his thumb over his cheek until Isak’s breath hitched and the boy shuffled in his sleep. Even pulled his hand back immediately, hoping not to have woken him up, but it seemed that Isak was stuck in his dream, and suddenly the boy moved his hand across the small space between them, curious fingers searching until he felt Even’s forearm, and only then did he relax and fall back into a deep slumber. 

The delicate nature of the gesture made Even’s heart stutter, his breath hitching as flashes of the way Isak behaved the night before as their bodies moved against each other, as Even wrapped his arms around him and felt the tears of pleasure drip onto his skin, ran through his mind. Sweet; precious; tender. 

He shivered at the vivid memory, shaking his head and trying to rid himself of the thoughts, knowing they would lead to the inevitable, to the memories of the way Isak pressed his lips against his cheek before falling asleep on top of him, oblivious to the inner turmoil the action brought up in Even. It seemed as if, despite everything that happened that night, that particular moment was the one to bring Even’s heart to a halt. He couldn’t take it, he couldn’t take the way his body heated up at the gesture, the way his cheeks flushed and his heart sped up. He could only hope Isak didn’t notice his reaction, and if he did, he prayed he didn’t think anything of it.

With a shake of his head, he leaned up on his elbow, about to get up when his eyes fell upon Isak once again, and he stopped his movements.

Beautiful.

The word didn’t feel enough to describe the way the boy looked, but it was all he had. 

He pushed his hand through Isak’s curls once again, a smile appearing on his lips as his body moved off of its own accord, leaning closer and closer until he could finally press his lips against Isak’s temple, the heat from Isak’s skin coursing through his body and making a shiver run down his spine.

Leaning back, he already seemed to miss the contact between them. But he had to get up. Isak didn’t want him to stay. The thought caused a sharp pain to travel through his heart, a frown appearing on his face as he let out a sigh of frustration and carefully slid his forearm out of Isak’s hold.

The whimper the boy let out at the loss of contact was enough to make him falter, to make him think about staying here. Right there with Isak, where it felt right.

But he couldn’t.

Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, he rubbed a hand over his face before he focused his eyes on the floor. He saw his clothes discarded all over it, memories of him and Isak slowly tumbling through the room, taking the clothes off of each other, clear in his head, but he ignored them, grabbing the garments and getting up, hastily pulling them on and covering the marks which Isak left on his skin.

His hands rose up in the air, muscles tensing as he stretched, almost letting out a groan of pleasure as he heard his joints crack.

He refused to look back at Isak. 

So, instead, he walked towards the door, hand on the doorknob, only seconds away from turning it as the light shone into his eyes.

He frowned at that, pausing his movements and glancing towards the window and the open curtains.

His gaze followed the trail of light, specks of dust flying through it as it shone onto Isak’s sleeping face, and Even couldn’t leave it like that, Isak deserved to get some rest. He didn’t have to say anything to Even, but Even knew he already struggled with sleep, he could tell by the sluggish movements he sometimes made, the delayed reactions and the almost permanent dark circles beneath his eyes. He dutifully ignored the fact that whenever he was with Even, he slept peacefully.

And so he rushed towards the window, pulling the curtains shut and letting out a sigh as the darkness enveloped him, the morning sunlight disappearing behind the garment. He turned towards the bed, towards the boy sleeping calmly under the warm covers which only reached the dip of his waist. Even couldn't help but wish to stay in the safety of the room all day long, but he knew that he would have to leave eventually, Isak wouldn't allow him to stay, and so it was better for him to leave in that moment than to wait until Isak woke up, opening those green eyes and looking up at him with that fond look always seems to have; he knew that if he saw that look once again he would lose all his inhibitions and there was nothing he could do about it. It was better this way.

He didn’t even understand why exactly he wished to stay, he couldn’t help the way the feelings rose within him, feelings of desire and temptation. 

He wanted. He craved. And he couldn’t have what he needed.

With a sigh, he let his head fall, his hair falling down his forehead as he looked up at the door, and just as he gained control of his muscles, just as he was about to take the steps towards it, he heard Isak whimper in his sleep, and he snapped his head towards the source of the sound.

Isak turned around in the spacious bed, the soft blanket falling even lower down his naked body, the bruises across his hip revealed, reminding Even of the way he held him last night, his grip so tight as he thrust into him. A tremble ran through his form, and Isak sighed as he settled back down.

Even’s gaze trailed down to the freckled skin of his shoulder, the spot which Even pressed his lips against just the night before as Isak cried in his arms.

He couldn’t help it, it seemed as if his legs were moving off of their own accord as he rushed towards the bed, kneeling on the edge of it, feeling it dip beneath his weight as his hands hovered over Isak’s body before finally gripping the edge of the blanket, pulling it over Isak’s naked form, his fingertips lightly trailing over the skin, tingles running through his hands at the gentle contact. 

He covered him fully, his hand lowering once it reached the nape of Isak’s neck, Even almost whimpering at the warmth emitting from the first year, and his desire to get back into bed beside him grew once more.

The thoughts running through his head made a frown appear on his face, the thoughts of him beneath the covers, wrapping his arms around Isak, cradling the boy’s head to his chest just like he had the night before, and he couldn’t help but wish there were no rules, that he could simply stay right there with him for as long as he pleased. He wanted to stay. To feel Isak close to him, to feel their skin pressing together as they slept beside each other, to feel Isak’s lips pressing against his own in a languid kiss as they both awoke. But he had to leave before Isak noticed he was still there.

His hand trailed over the blanket once more as he made sure Isak was fully covered, not a single inch of his body revealed to the coldness of the room.

A sigh escaped from between his lips as he leaned back from the boy, carefully getting off of the bed so as not to jostle him before he turned towards the exit, each step making him feel as if his legs were filled with cement. Desperation enveloped him, and he didn’t understand it. It didn’t make any sense for him to feel that way. But regardless, he gripped the doorknob once more, only hesitating for a second before he opened the door, exiting the safety of the room and closing the door shut behind him.

His head fell back against the wall, an exhale of breath released into the empty hallway as he closed his eyes shut, trying to ignore the shakiness of his hands as he focused on getting out of the flat, leaving Isak behind, no matter how much he wished to turn around and go back to his boy.

No.

His eyes snapped open, breath hitching as he caught up with his thoughts.

Isak wasn’t his, he never would be, and Even had no right to refer to him as such. Isak didn’t want to be his, he barely tolerated his presence at all, and had they not been having sex Even was sure Isak wouldn’t even spare a glance in his direction. Isak didn’t want him. He wanted someone that could be with him in ways that Even never could, in ways that Even didn’t earn the right to.

The spiralling of his thoughts forced him to inhale deeply before he pushed himself away from the wall, stumbling down the hallway on shaky legs until he reached the living room, and he stopped in his tracks, his movements faltering as two sets of eyes turned towards him, one set barely acknowledging him as the girl went back to looking at the TV where she lay on the couch while the other remained on his frozen form.

A sigh left him before he could help it, and he flashed a smile at them both.

“Good morning.” 

No matter the cheeriness of his voice, his face contorted with anxiety once he saw the smug smirk placed on Eskild’s face.

“Morning, Even, I see you’re up early,” Eskild said as he leaned forward, grabbing the cup off of the coffee table before him as he pulled his feet up on the couch while the girl continued to ignore them both.

Even squirmed as he ran a hand through his hair, cursing himself for managing to get caught sneaking out once again.

“Is Isak up?” Eskild asked, tilting his head to the side and wrapping both hands around the steaming mug of what Even presumed to be coffee.

Even shook his head, crossing his arms against his chest as he looked down at the floor, hoping he would be able to get out soon.

“Still asleep.”

“Then why are you leaving?”

Even’s muscles tensed at the question, serving as a reminder of where he should’ve been in that moment, where he wanted to be the most.

A forced smile appeared on his face as he sighed. “I have to get out before he wakes up, that’s the rule.” 

Eskild rolled his eyes, throwing his head back and groaning before looking back at Even, parting his lips, about to say something when the girl interrupted him, mumbling something under her breath, but Even heard her, and clearly, Eskild did too judging by the smirk on his face.

_ “I’m sure Isak wouldn’t mind.”  _

His brows furrowed, head tipping to the side as Eskild glanced at him from behind his mug, taking a sip as he raised his eyebrows.

“What do you mean?”

Eskild sighed at the words, rolling his eyes before fixing Even with a look that did nothing but make him feel as if he was missing something incredibly obvious.

The older man clicked his tongue, leaning forward and placing the mug on the coffee table before crossing his arms against his chest. 

“Oh, nothing,” He waved his hand, his face suspiciously neutral as if he was hiding something as he spoke. “You know what Isak is like. Sweet and cuddly kitten, he just wants to be held and cuddled no matter how much he tries to hide it behind that cute little frown of his. He likes having contact with others, makes him feel safe.”

Even’s lips pursed at the words, his fingertips trailing over his bicep before he wrapped his hand around his forearm, looking off to the side in thought.

He knew the words were true no matter the effort Isak went through in order to hide it. He knew that all Isak desperately craved was affection, it was obvious in the way his body subconsciously tilted towards Even's whenever they were close; the way Isak melted in his arms whenever Even held him; the way Isak trembled at every touch of Even’s careful fingertips, the same way he had the night before when Isak sat in his lap, crying and overwhelmed. The same way he had done the time in the car, when Even had brought his palm onto the soft flesh of Isak’s ass over and over again until the boy came. A shiver ran down Even’s spine, his hand clenching around his arm as he took in a deep breath.

But Even knew that he wasn’t the one that should be giving Isak the attention he craved, he didn’t deserve the privilege of doing so.

A bitter laugh escaped him before he could stop it.

“I don’t think I’m the guy that he wants that sort of shit with.”

He glanced up at Eskild, his cheeks heating up at the incredulous expression on his face, Eskild's features melting into those of pity, but he ignored it, he couldn’t bear to stay in the room with him, to be tempted to turn back and go to where he felt the pull. 

His feet moved before he had the chance to think about it, before Eskild had the chance to tell him he was right, and he turned towards the door, frowning at the pain he felt in his chest as he left the place where he seemed to wish to spend the majority of his time.

* * *

The gravel crunched beneath his feet, snowflakes falling from the sky as Even pushed his face further into his scarf, his brows furrowed as he rushed to the bus station, desperate to get home as he ignored the buzzing of his phone in his pocket in favour of keeping his hands away from the frosty air.

He knew who it was already. His mother had been planning a Christmas dinner already, and now that December had started her intensity over the holiday only increased, and Even loved her, he did, but the last thing he wanted to do in the freezing cold was to look at the texts only for them to end up being about what colour the table cloth should be or how many candles she should light up. 

His breath created mist before his eyes when he let out a sigh, and suddenly, as he pushed onwards and looked down the empty street, he saw the one person his mind tried to escape from for the past few days, and now he was right there, standing in front of a lit-up shop, his cheeks pink and his curls sticking out from beneath his burgundy hat as he pushed his hands further into his pockets, scrunching his shoulders up as he tilted his head to the side, a soft smile pulling on his lips while snowflakes fell upon his clothes.

Even’s hands clenched in the pockets of his jacket, sweat covering his palms as his steps faltered, mind racing at the sight before him.

Before he could overthink it, he rushed over to him, his thoughts forcing him to remain focused on the only thing that mattered. Getting to Isak.

“Hey, pretty boy,” The words were far softer than he intended them to be, but he had no time to overthink it as Isak turned his head towards him, lips parting in surprise before he rolled his eyes in an all too familiar fashion even though the gesture seemed to lack the venom it once held, and Even felt his fingers twitch with the desire to reach out, feel if his cheeks were cold, if they were as soft as they looked.

“What?” Isak snapped as he turned towards him, his body shivering from the cold as he pulled his shoulders up and Even stood before him. The proximity allowed him to see all the features of Isak’s face he hadn’t noticed before. There was a lack of the usual darkness beneath his eyes, the small detail making a smile appear on Even’s face, but the thing that struck Even were his eyes. The way they seemingly shimmered as the boy sniffled, his red nose twitching in the cold as he looked up at him, his lashes covered in snow as he fluttered them, tilting his head to the side while a frown appeared on his face, and that’s when Even realized he hadn’t said a word since Isak responded to him.

“I, um,” He started, rubbing the back of his neck with a cold hand before quickly pushing it into the warmth of his pocket, his palms sweating as he tried to think of what he even wanted to say. His mind was blank, completely empty as he looked to the side in thought, and that’s when he saw what Isak was looking at. Large teddy bears were in the display window, Santa hats on top of their heads as Christmas lights sparkled all around them, and that’s when it clicked. “I was gonna ask if you’ve been invited to the parties The Penetrators are throwing before Christmas and the one for New Year's Eve?”

Even expected Isak to simply shake his head, nothing more, but the boy seemingly lit up, his eyes glimmering the same way the lights in the windows were, a large smile pulling on his lips as he bounced on the balls of his feet, seemingly unable to contain the excitement within his body.

“No, but I won’t be home then anyway, so I won’t be able to go.”

Despite the happiness Isak clearly exuded, and despite the fact that this shouldn’t bother him at all, Even felt his stomach drop at the words.

“Oh,” He licked his lips, looking off to the side as he frowned at his own thoughts. It was strange the way he simply expected Isak to be there, to always be available just like he had been so far. Ever since they’d started to plan the parties, in Even’s mind Isak was always right there beside him. He was always present, and it seemed as if his plans for New Year’s Eve included Isak there the moment the clock struck midnight. Thoughts of him scooping the boy up in his arms and kissing him at the start of the new year flashed through his mind as he bit his lip to prevent a petulant pout from forming. “Okay.”

Isak simply kept looking at him with that shy smile, almost as if he couldn’t contain the feelings within him, and at that reminder Even forced the bitterness that Isak’s absence will bring aside, instead focusing on the boy before him, the boy that barely ever looked like this.

Free, happy, excited.

“Where are you going?”

It was as if Isak was waiting for the question and his smile widened even more.

“My dad asked me to stay with him for the holidays, he’d never done that before.”

The words were colder than the wind hitting Even’s face, and despite the clear joy that Isak displayed he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of a man doesn’t ask his child to spend the holidays with him.

Even was aware how alone Isak was, and regardless of the effort Isak went through to never mention his home life Even knew something was wrong, he knew the moment he found out Isak lived with a college student rather than his own parents. 

But Isak’s behaviour was contradictory to the state of his life. He was alone, he was clearly abandoned by the ones who should’ve cared for him the most, and yet he seemed willing to grasp at any opportunity he got at a normal life. Starved for affection, that’s what he was, and the bitterness Even tried to squash down arose once more, only this time it was because he knew that he could care for the boy far better than the man that didn’t even bother inviting him over for Christmas. His hands held more care for the first year than anyone else’s, and yet he wasn’t Isak’s choice. 

His eyes trailed lower, focused on the ground as he tried to collect his thoughts, to rid himself of the emotions within him. 

He didn’t understand. The possessiveness he seemed to feel was out of the ordinary, it wasn’t him, and yet it seemed to consume every fibre of his being.

His thoughts travelled back to the morning, everything he had done since he had woken up, had he taken his meds? The question wasn’t unusual, and yet it seemed to shock him. 

It was almost as if his subconscious was rejecting the notion that the feelings towards Isak were a byproduct of his carelessness and illness.

They weren’t. But he didn’t know what exactly they were either.

He looked back up. Back to the overexcited boy before him, and he couldn’t help it, it was almost as if he had no control of his features.

He smiled.

“That’s great, Isak. I’m happy for you.”

Isak’s cheeks flushed even further, and Even hoped he was the cause of it rather than the harsh cold they were in.

His eyes fell to Isak’s lips, and he bit his own, as if he was trying to chase the feeling of whenever they were pressed against Isak’s, whenever he got to feel his warmth, feel the vibrations of his sweet whimpers against his tongue.

A car drove by, snow flying everywhere as Even snapped out whatever stupor he was in, and the fog surrounding him disappeared.

He watched as a snowflake fell on Isak’s cheek, and he wished it was his lips instead, but he couldn’t do that. He had no right.

His hand fell out of the pocket, the skin prickling in the cold, but it did not matter. He raised it up until he could lean his knuckles against Isak’s cheek, feeling the cold skin as he wiped the snowflake away with his thumb.

Isak’s lips parted, eyes widening at the touch, and Even couldn’t take it.

He grinned, the expression feeling fake even to him, but he couldn’t let Isak see it. He couldn’t know that Even was close to falling apart right before him.

So he did what he always had.

“I’ll see you around, then.”

He left.

* * *

**Mamma**

_ Are you coming over on Thursday, sweetheart? _

Even glanced up at where Chris was sprawled out on the other couch, phone in his hand as the other felt around the coffee table, searching for the nearly empty pizza box without diverting his eyes from the screen.

With a roll of his eyes, Even leaned forward from where he was sitting cross-legged, pushing the box over to him and letting out a huff of laughter when Chris finally grabbed a slice and started to eat.

His focus trailed back to the message, and he smiled softly as he typed.

_ Yes, mom, I’ll be there at 6. _

Dread filled his head when he saw his mom start and stop to type several times, something she only did when she was worried about what she was saying, and the second the message was finally sent Even knew why she was apprehensive.

_ Did you hear that Adam and Mikael moved in together? _

His heart dropped at the words. 

He always knew they were close, in a way that him or the squad didn't always understand, and he knew how big of a deal it must’ve been for them to take such a huge step, he only wished he could’ve been there for them when they had done it.

He fell back on the couch, laying on his side and letting out a sigh as he shut his eyes, trying to calm himself and forget about what was in the past.

It didn’t matter. Not a single detail of his life before Nissen mattered. He had nothing tying him to it, only bitter reminders from his mother, but that wasn’t important. 

Sonja was gone, his friends had disappeared after he snapped, and so did his old self.

Why should he concern himself with matters that weren’t part of his life anymore?

He huffed and locked his phone, knowing that the temptation to snap at his mother was far too great, and he didn’t wish to do so.

Instead, he focused his eyes on the turned-off TV before him. Staring at the screen and trying to empty his mind, to stop thinking completely.

Luckily, it seemed as if Chris could sense his discomfort, the rage bubbling inside of him at the sheer lack of luck he had in his life, and he knew to distract him.

“Even?”

The tone of Chris’ voice is strange, almost tinged with nervousness, and Even frowned in confusion, focusing his gaze on his friend who was sitting up on the couch, sitting cross-legged as he flipped his phone in his hands over and over again, his bottom lip stuck between his pearly white teeth.

“What’s up?”

Chris looked up at him and took in a deep breath as he leaned against the back of the couch, hands clenching around his phone as he pursed his lips, tilting his head to the side for a moment before finally speaking up. “What do you actually think about the bet?”

The question forced a grimace to spread on Even's face, and he sat up slowly, frowning as he thought the words over, trying to figure out why exactly Chris was even asking such a question, why it mattered what exactly Even thought about it. But what confused Even even more was the sheer amount of irritation in his body, the words 'I fucking hate it' right at the tip of his tongue, and yet he said no such thing.

“I mean, I don’t really care,” The sentence tasted bitter in his mouth, the lie spilling out easily, but it left him with another piece of guilt in his mind.

Chris rolled his eyes, trying to appear relaxed but Even could see right through it, he could see the tension in his shoulders, the way he seemed to wipe his sweat clad palms against his sweatpants.

“Just tell me what you actually think,” Chris said with a surprising amount of anxiety in his voice, and Even let out a sigh, pursing his lips in thought.

He already knew he wasn’t particularly okay with what they were doing, it was exactly why he wasn’t taking part in the whole thing, why he refused to do so that cold morning. It felt wrong, and Even couldn’t deny the fact that were he less of a coward he would have stopped them from making the bet in the first place.

Isak didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve to be used and tricked into this situation, he should be getting treated with care and kindness, not pushed into a game that he didn't even want to play.

And so before he could bite his tongue and stop himself, he spoke his mind, no holding back.

“I think it’s a bit fucked up,” The words were quiet, lacking any of the usual humour Even’s voice usually held. “I think Isak is a really nice and sweet kid and it’s messed up to basically manipulate him into sleeping with you just so that you can get some extra money that you don’t even need. You’re rich, bro, why the fuck are you doing this? You could hook up with any person in school, you have actually done that in the past, so I don’t know why you’re going after him, why you’d want to take advantage of him like that. He deserves better. He's the type of guy that deserves dates and flowers and all that bullshit, not this.”

He trailed off at the end, words quieting down as he realized he was rambling, now staring at his hands in his lap and taking in a deep breath, refusing to look up at Chris in fear of what he’d see.

But Chris didn't say anything, not a word, and so Even looked up at him, only to see him shuffling in his seat, appearing even more nervous than before.

“I think I want to call off the bet.”

A frown appeared on Even’s face before he could stop it, lips parting while he stared at Chris in utter confusion. He’d never backed down from a challenge before, not one where he had an actual chance of winning money as well as sleeping with someone, and Even didn’t understand why.

“What? Why?”

Chris let out a sigh, running a hand through his brown hair, the strands being pushed back from his forehead as he leaned back, body falling against the cushions behind him.

“I’ve talked to Isak a few times now, you know? And you’re right, he’s a sweet kid, too sweet in fact, and it feels fucked up doing this to him, especially since Adrian seems to be taking it so fucking far.”

Even looked down at the floor, measuring his breaths and ignoring the spike of joy he felt at the words.

“Y-yeah, I don’t think you should do it if you feel that way about it,” Even coughed to cover up the stutter, yet even he could tell there was a certain sort of enthusiasm in his voice.

Chris tilted his head to the side, making Even squirm in his seat as his friend bit his lip in thought, and Even leaned forward, grabbing the glass of water off of the coffee table and taking a sip to keep himself busy just as Chris spoke.

“You should ask him out.”

Even choked at the words, coughing as he set the glass down, eyes watering while snorted and shook his head in disbelief.

“What the fuck? Why?” He said as he felt a blush covering his cheeks, and he only hoped Chris wouldn’t notice.

“Cause you clearly like him,” Chris said, not an ounce of doubt in his voice, and Even didn’t even want to think about why his friend was so certain of the fact.

Even rolled his eyes, ignoring the rising heat of his face. “You know fine well I don't date. And I’ve told you already, I don’t li-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Chris cut him off, waving a hand around and nodding exaggeratedly. “You said you don’t have a thing for him and all that, but you’re just lying to yourself. I know you, bro. Just suck it up and stop being a pussy. Be the guy that will take him out and give him flowers and shit.”

Even sighed, heart pounding in his chest as he shook his head, forcing himself to look up at Chris. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

* * *

The bass was echoing through the house, walls vibrating with the force and loudness of the song, the floors shaking as the people danced, spilling drinks all over the floorboards as some made out in the corners, others keeping to themselves or standing off to the side with their friend groups, but not Even. A girl was leaning against his body, her lowcut top revealing her busty cleavage which she was pressing up against his side, glancing up at him through her long false lashes, twirling a strand of blonde hair and desperately trying to grasp Even's attention, but all Even could see were Isak and Chris.

The first year was sat on the couch, legs crossed delicately as the liquid in his cup slushed around with every one of his tipsy movements, but what Even's eyes focused on was the simple fact that Chris had his arm thrown over the back of the sofa, leaning in close and talking to Isak as the boy giggled at whatever it was that Chris said to him.

Even's hand involuntarily clenched around the beer bottle he was holding, the glass now warm from how long he had been holding it, but the girl beside him remained oblivious to the inner turmoil of his mind or the tension in the lines of his body. 

A feather-light touch trailed over his forearm, right where the sleeves of his Penetrator hoodie would've been had they not been rolled up. The contact forced his attention to the second year next to him, but even at the sight of her glossy lips and the clear interest she had he couldn't help but feel a pull towards Isak, his mind screaming at him to look away, to turn his head and walk over to the boy, to pull him up and press their lips together, lick the cheep beer off of his tongue and marvel at how much better it seemed to taste that way. He wanted to show everyone he was his, his to kiss, to touch, to fuck, but he couldn't, no one could know. 

His nostrils flared at the thought and he turned away, leaning his head back against the wall and trailing his gaze back to the couch, inhaling sharply at the sight of Chris putting a hand on Isak's shoulders, squeezing it slightly and pulling Isak in closer to say something to him. The touch seemed innocent enough, almost a friendly gesture, but no matter the lack of lust in Chris' gaze, Even knew the way he worked, he knew the way he made people feel good, he was an expert at making them think they were special, as if he was their friend, and it always ended up in him pushing them down onto his bed and getting in between their legs. 

Even couldn't stand it, he rolled his eyes at the sight and slammed the bottle against the small table beside him, the girl blinking up at him in confusion as he looked towards her, shooting her a smile which he knew looked fake before heading upstairs, hoping to find the bathroom quickly and get some time to himself.

The music became muffled as he walked down the hall, looking around the empty floor before grabbing a random door handle, opening the door and stopping at the entrance, eyes focusing on whatever he could see from the small amount of light coming from the hall, and he realized it was someone's room. His steps faltered at the sight, gaze focusing on the large bed in the middle of the wall in front of him, soft-looking blankets thrown over the sheets, multiple pillows splayed out near the headboard and Even couldn't help but think about laying someone on them, gently kissing their lips as their hair, golden curls, sprawled onto the white pillowcase.

He grinned before he could stop himself, looking around and stepping inside, shutting the door behind him as he got his phone out of his back pocket, shining the light and walking over to the nightstand, quickly turning the lamp on and turning the light from his phone off as he sat on the edge of the bed, leaning back on his hand, his fingertips digging into the blanket underneath as he opened the chat he was looking for.

**Pretty Boy**

_ Come up. Second door on the right. _

The seconds ticked by as he waited, pushing his phone back into the pocket while he drummed his fingertips against the back of the bed, patiently waiting for Isak to come. He knew he would. He had to. 

Even diligently ignored the spark of joy he felt at Isak leaving Chris, making up flustered excuses just so that he can rush upstairs and be with Even, spread his legs and part his lips for him, simply because Even wanted him to.

Even shook his head to rid himself of the thoughts, instead tilting his head back and closing his eyes, taking in a deep breath as he focused on the calm, on the darkness enveloping him, on the faint sound of the music and the party from downstairs.

But suddenly the door opened and his eyes widened, forcing him to look at the intruder, a lazy smirk spreading on his face when he saw Isak's flushed cheeks, the rosiness only seen because of the lamp shining brightly.

Even grinned at him, hoping to contain the smugness he felt at the fact that Isak came to him. But he knew that Isak could see right through him, and the boy huffed, rolling his eyes as he locked the door and walked over to him.

"Really, Even? Some random persons room? You couldn't wait and take me back to your place or something?"

Even shrugged, looking up at Isak as he stood before him, his fringe falling down his forehead and his eyes glistening in the dark.

His hand moved before he could stop it and he placed it on the delicious dip of Isak's slim waist, pulling him in and revelling at the surprised yelp the smaller boy let out, the soft sound turning into a giggle as Isak straddled his hips.

"What can I say," He placed his hands on Isak's hips as he spoke, fingertips digging into the plump flesh of his perky ass as Isak settled down, wrapping his arms around Even's neck and arching his back, tilting his head to the side, "You're just that fucking hot."

Isak snorted, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against Even's shoulder as he took in a deep breath, the strands of his hair tickling Even's neck, but he ignored the sensation, instead focusing on the simple movement of his hand over Isak's back until the boy raised his head up once again, his brows raised and his lips pulled up in a playful smile. 

An overwhelming urge to trace the lines of his beautiful lips with his fingertips overcame him, but Even shook it off.

"Maybe you're just a slut."

Even gasped in faux offence, placing a hand over his chest as Isak giggled, the sound forcing a grin to appear on his own face, he couldn't stop it from happening even if he tried.

"If anyone here is a slut it's you," Even's words were soft in the quiet room, his hands still trailing over Isak's back as the boy snorted while he played with the hair on the nape of Even's neck.

"Even, you fucked most of the people at the school, not me."

Even hummed as he pushed a hand up Isak's T-Shirt, tongue darting out to wet his lips. "Doesn't mean you're not a slut, though. Doesn't mean you don't fucking love my cock."

The thoughts whirring around Isak's head were obvious, his lip was stuck between his teeth as he tried to think of what to say, but it was clear he was far too flustered to do so, the shuffling in Even's lap and the increasing flush on Isak's cheeks being the proof of that.

"N-not true," The words coming out of the boy were quiet, mumbled, but Even understood them nonetheless.

He bit his lip as he trailed his gaze over his features. 

"So, if I told you to get on your knees and suck me off right now, you wouldn't do it?"

Isak shook his head, but Even could see the way he glanced downwards, he could feel the twitching of his nimble fingers at the back of his neck.

He leaned forward, tilting his head to the side and smirking as he reached Isak's neck, biting on his earlobe once and letting go before whispering. "Come on, baby, show me how good you can be."

The weight was lifted off of his lap before he could even say anything else, and suddenly Isak was kneeling before him, back arched and hands on his own plump thighs, teeth digging into his bottom lip as he gazed at the prominent bulge in Even's pants.

"Take it out, pretty boy."

The way Isak's lip seemed to quirk up at the nickname brought warmth to his chest, his heart speeding up at the sight of the boy glancing up at him through his lashes before he set about undoing his pants, only taking his cock and balls out before he looked back up at Even, and it only took Even a few seconds to figure out why he wasn't doing anything.

He was waiting for instructions.

Even took in a sharp breath at the realization and he grabbed a hold of his cock, pushing his other hand through Isak's curls until it was placed on the back of his head and he could pull him in closer and closer until he was mere inches away from the head of his cock, lips shining and eyes focused on the tip, like a moth to a flame.

Even's hand moved, palm pressing against the hot skin of Isak's cheek, the touch gentler than anything he had ever done before, and he moved his thumb over his cheekbones, watching as the boy's eyes slid shut and his head leaned into his touch.

The shaky breath he took in went by unnoticed and he pulled Isak even closer than before, rubbing the head of his dick over his lips, smearing the pre-cum over them as the first year opened his mouth, tongue darting out and licking away the layer left behind.

"Come on now, open that pretty little mouth for me," His voice was firm, he sounded sure of himself, yet on the inside he felt anything but.

The emotions were swirling inside of him, leaving him dazed and confused, unsure of what to do with himself, with Isak, and so instead he simply focused on the feeling of Isak's lips stretching over his cock.

"There we go, that's good."

The feeling of Isak's wet tongue sliding over the slit had Even's breath hitching, yet his touch remained gentle as he pushed a hand back into Isak's unruly curls.

Heat spread throughout his body as Isak sunk lower and lower with each move of his head, tiny whimpers coming out of him as he clutched Even's thighs with shaky, yet sure, fingers.

"Good, you're doing so well, baby," Even spoke with nothing but tenderness in his voice, pure admiration at the way Isak swallowed down his cock, his eyes shooting up to meet Even's steely gaze, and that simple contact had Even's hips bucking up.

The sound of choking filled the much too quiet room and Even gasped at what he had done.

"Fuck, sorr--"

The words were cut short, his hand stilling where it was trying to pull Isak off, because he could see the way a shiver ran down Isak's spine, the way his eyes rolled into the back of his head and his jaw went lax, but he could also hear the lewd moan he let out at the intrusion in his throat.

"Oh," Even said dumbly, relaxing back onto the bed as his fingers stroked over Isak's scalp, getting a soft moan out of the boy once again, and that time it was Even's turn to tremble, to feel his own thighs shake at the vibrations surrounding his cock. "You like that, huh?"

A whimper was all he got in response, but he gripped Isak's hair regardless, pulling until he let go of his cock with a lewd pop reverberating throughout the room. 

Strings of spit attached Isak's lips to his cock, the boy looking up at him through his lashes as he took in a deep breath.

"I asked you a question, Isak," The words were firm, yet there was still a certain sort of fondness in the tone, it was undeniable.

Isak nodded, tongue trailing over his slick lips as he kept his gaze on Even. "Y-yeah, I do."

Even trailed the head of his dick over his mouth and he smiled gently, nails scratching over the sensitive skin of Isak's scalp as the boy hummed in appreciation. "Good boy."

And finally, Isak took him in once again, enveloping his length with tight, wet heat, pressing his tongue against the underside of the head, against the shaft as he slid down, lower and lower until his nose was squished, pressed up against the pubic hair around the base.

Isak jerked his head, trying to move away as he gagged, but Even kept up a firm pressure on his head, holding him close and grinding into his mouth, making him feel every inch of his thick cock stretching his throat out.

"Stay there, baby, make me feel good, come on."

A hum vibrated around his dick, forcing Even to curse under his breath as he dragged Isak off, letting him gasp for air before the boy encircled his fingers around the erection, wrapping his lips around it once again as Even leaned back on his hand, running the other one through Isak's hair and cooing at him as the blond bobbed his head up and down.

"That's it, so perfect," He sounded breathless even to himself, his skin covered in a light sheen of sweat as he threw his head back, letting out a groan while his hips bucked upwards.

Isak gagged once again, hands clutching at Even's hips once as the third year looked back at him once again, just in time for Isak to still, his jaw going slack as he squeezed Even's hips once, eye contact not faltering.

"You sure?"

Isak hummed once, his eyes closing shut as he moved his hands lower and lower until he put them behind his own back, clasping them together as Even's breath hitched at the sight.

Isak on his knees, back arched and expression soft, open and trusting.

He gulped before speaking, his voice quiet and tinged with a hint of anxiety. "Pinch my side if you need to stop, okay?"

Isak nodded once and Even took in a deep breath.

And so he moved, slowly at first, lifting his hips and grinding into Isak's mouth, releasing a shaky breath at the way Isak just  _ took  _ it.

His movements sped up as he learned Isak's limits, how much the boy could take, how roughly he could fuck his throat, how much pressure he could apply when pulling on those lovely golden strands, all the while he watched as Isak moved his hands, unbuttoning his own pants and pulling his cock out, tears starting to stream down his cheeks as he moaned when he wrapped his fingers around his dick.

"Feels good, huh? That's it, baby, fucking take it, take my cock."

The moan Isak let out was far too lewd for the sweetness in his pretty eyes as he gazed up at Even, and suddenly Even's hold on his hair tightened, his thrusts becoming harsher and faster as Isak gagged, spit sliding down his cheeks as he let go of his cock, placing his hands on Even's knees to steady himself as he forgot about his own pleasure, focusing only on Even.

"You look so good like this, you know?" Even panted out, groaning as he pushed Isak's face further down, cock fucking in and out of his throat as Isak's eyes rolled into the back of his head. "Taking my cock so fucking well, your pretty little mouth was made to suck cock, to suck _my_ cock. Look at you, such a beautiful fucking mess. Such a good boy, Isak, my good boy."

A tear trailed down Isak's cheek, mixing with the spit sliding of off his chin, and Even placed a hand on the spot where the wet trail was, wiping over it with his thumb as the coil of heat in his abdomen threatened to snap. So close.

His thrusts became less controlled, hips stuttering as he panted, moaning and groaning in pleasure as he stayed buried deep inside Isak's throat while Isak whimpered around his length, mouth stretched wide open, his jaw probably aching. 

Even looked down, eyes meeting Isak's tear-filled ones, and he spoke, almost in a whisper. "You're so good for me, baby."

The moan Isak let out was louder than before, more desperate than ever, his eyes wide for a second before he clenched them shut as he continued to moan, and that was Even's undoing. His fingers tangled in the curls, pulling Isak lower as he thrust forward once more, pushing his cock down Isak's throat as he came with Isak's name tumbling past his lips, Isak swallowing the cum while Even groaned, his thighs trembling as he listened to Isak splutter, gagging around him, forcing even more cum to spill out of him until his cock was soft and he could finally breathe, his heartbeat erratic. Only then did he let up on the firm grip he had on Isak, and the boy pulled away immediately, taking in gasping breaths as he coughed, spit still sliding down his chin, drops falling to the floor where he kneeled.

Even tried to calm down, to get his breathing under control enough so that he could return the favour.

"Fuck," He groaned out, running a hand through his hair before looking down at Isak, but Isak wasn't looking at him at all, in fact, his gaze was facing downwards, his cheeks flushed with something akin to embarrassment, his lips swollen and puffy as he wiped them with the back of his hand, still not looking at Even, and the third year frowned at that, concern suddenly coursing through his veins, replacing the previous overwhelming pleasure he had felt.

"Isak, did I hurt you? A-are you okay?"

The nod Isak immediately gave managed to relieve some of the tension in Even's shoulders but he still couldn't help but worry.

His hands moved to Isak's face, cupping his cheeks gently and forcing him to raise his gaze, to focus on him.

"You okay, baby?"

The emotion flashing through Isak's eyes at the pet name was unrecognizable but Even could still hear the hitch in his breathing, yet he ignored it, concentrating on making sure the boy was alright.

And then Isak nodded, leaning forward and pressing his lips against Even's, tongue shyly darting out as Even parted his lips, hands still cradling Isak's face.

"Come on," Even mumbled against Isak's lips. "Get on the bed and I'll suck you off."

But suddenly Isak was looking down once again, placing his hands on his lap, over his cock and blushing harder than before.

"I-it's fine, you don't have to," Isak stuttered out with a raspy voice as Even tilted his head to the side, a frown appearing on his features, ignoring the smugness he felt at the fact that he did that to Isak, he made him sound that way.

"You sure?"

Isak hummed in confirmation, licking his lips before he mumbled something out, something completely incomprehensible.

"What'd you say, sweetheart?"

The sigh Isak let out was exasperated, and the first year's eyes closed shut as his cheeks turned pinker than before.

"I already came, okay?"

"But, you weren't tou--," Even stopped himself, eyes widening, lips parting as he stared down at Isak, embarrassment clear as day, shoulders tense as he waited for Even to say something. "Oh."

Suddenly all Even could focus on was how amazed he was. How good Isak was. 

He couldn't say anything, not a single word, so he did the only thing he could think of.

Grasping his face gently, Even tilted Isak's head up, the first year about to say something when Even pressed their lips together, Isak's smaller body losing all of its tension straight away.

As they separated, Even took in a moment to breathe, to lean his forehead against Isak's and press their noses together as he slowly opened his eyes, Isak doing the same when Even pushed a strand of hair behind his ear, resting his hand on the back of his neck afterwards before pecking his lips once again, hoping to alleviate whatever shame Isak felt at what had happened.

"Come on," Even spoke softly, his voice almost a whisper. "Let's get you cleaned up."

He looked around the room until his eyes settled on the tissues placed on the nightstand, and with that he leaned down, pulling Isak up on his legs and getting him to sit down on the bed, and straight away Even grabbed the tissues, cleaning Isak up before doing the same to himself, both of them zipping their pants up before Even pushed Isak down, making him lay down on the bed, letting out a yelp in surprise when Even got on top of him, in between his legs.

"You know," His hand trailed through Isak's hair, Isak letting out a hum as he wrapped his arms around Even's neck. "That's actually really fucking hot."

Isak rolled his eyes but a blush still spread on his cheeks as his fingertips continued playing with the hair at Even's nape. "How is it hot? It's just embarrassing."

A grin spread across Even's face before he spoke. "Not really. I love that you couldn't help yourself, I love that I could make you feel good even though I had no idea I was doing it. I love that you're such a little slut for my co--"

The words were cut short as Isak squealed, twisting to the side and grabbing a pillow, slamming it over Even's head and making him let out a boisterous laugh.

"Really, Isak?" He threw the pillow to the side, fingers wrapping around Isak's wrists and forcing them down onto the bed, the smaller boy still letting out soft giggles as he wriggled beneath him. "You can't deny it anymore, you've just confirmed you love my cock."

"Oh my God," Isak squealed out, voice going higher in pitch as his face turned red. "Shut up."

Even rolled his eyes at the words, thumbs rubbing over the sensitive skin on Isak's wrists before he let them go, leaning on his forearms instead, nose brushing against Isak's as the blond placed his hands on Even's chest, playing with the collar of his hoodie and pulling on the strings hanging from it.

"So," Isak started, coughing for a moment and looking down as Even tilted his head to the side. "What else are you into?"

Even contemplated the question, pulling on one of Isak's curls and watching it bounce back into place once he let go.

He never really thought about it with Isak, not when everything they had done so far had been nothing but pleasure, there was no need for him to think about anything else when he could easily just have incredible sex that they both enjoyed. But he knew that there were some things that have crossed his mind in the past, things that he didn't really think he'd bring up with Isak, not when the boy was so shy. But then again, Isak did have moments where he let go completely, asking and begging for things that Even knew he wouldn't dare do when he isn't in the haze of lust, things like the sting of Even's palm against his ass, his cock buried deep inside his throat over and over again, the dildo pushed inside his ass that one night that Even thought about far too often. It was clear that Isak was completely different when Even's fingertips weren't digging into his sensitive flesh, and so Even shrugged, the words tumbling out of his mouth.

"I guess it would be really fucking hot to see you in some lingerie."

The indignant sound Isak let out was accompanied with an expression of pure disbelief and Even couldn't help but snort at the sight.

"W-What? Like, panties and bras and shit?"

Even hummed, heat already filling his body at the mere thought of pretty lacy things covering Isak's body.

His hand trailed down Isak's side, fingers catching on his T-Shirt until he reached his hip, squeezing once and trailing lower until he gripped his thick thigh, hoisting it up higher on his waist. "Panties? Yeah. Maybe put you in some thigh highs and a garter belt too, make you look so pretty and soft, you'd be the prettiest boy for me, wouldn't you?"

The heat emitting from Isak's body was almost palpable, his thigh trembling slightly as he kept pulling on the strings of Even's hoodie.

"I don't know," Isak's voice was quiet, shy and nervous.

"You don't have to, I'd never force you to do anything," Even reassured him as he let his leg go, instead placing his palm on his cheek. "If you're not into it then it's cool, we've been having fun so far, haven't we?" Isak nodded. "Okay, so we don't have to change anything if we don't want to, I just wanted to be honest with you. I mean, fuck, who wouldn't want to see you in some lacy panties, pretty boy?"

Isak bit his lip, looking up at Even through his lashes before letting out a sigh. "I'll think about it."

Even smirked at him, leaning in closer and pressing their lips together for a moment. "What about you?"

"Hm?" 

"Is there anything you're into?"

Isak's cheeks flushed, brows furrowing as he pursed his lips, pushing his hands to interlace his fingers at the back of Even's neck. "I don't know, if I think of anything I'll tell you."

"Okay." Even said before pecking him once again, leaning back and sitting up on the edge of the bed as Isak coughed, making Even turn towards him straight away.

"You sure you alright? I wasn't too rough or anything?"

The roll of Isak's eyes was answer enough, but there was still a sense of fear in the back of his mind. He never wanted any harm to come to the boy before him.

"I'm fine, stop worrying about me."

Even huffed, shaking his head before he stood from the bed, stretching and feeling his back crack. "Can't help it, pretty boy."

The words didn't get a response, and when he looked back at Isak he saw a soft smile crossing his face as he moved to stand up, but Even said nothing about it, opting to stay quiet.

"Come on," Even said as he placed a hand on Isak's lower back, leading him out through the door after he unlocked and opened it.

"So," Even wrapped an arm around Isak's shoulders, pulling him in close to whisper in his ear. "You were saying you weren't a slut and then you cum from me fucking your throat, huh?"

Isak groaned at the words, pushing him away and rushing to get away from him. "Fuck off, Even."

Isak didn't hear the laugh Even let out, not when he was too busy stomping down the stairs, curls bouncing as he hurried down into the party.

The music was getting louder with every step Even took, the bass shaking the floors as he ran a hand through his hair, and yet he didn't miss the sound behind him. 

A door closing shut.

His brows furrowed, anxiety filling his veins for a split second before he shook himself out of his stupor.

It was nothing. Nothing at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh it's been a while but here's chapter 12! It's a long one!  
> Let me know what you think, I always love hearing your guys' thoughts!
> 
> If you have any questions about this fic, or if you have any prompts you'd like me include in this fic, let me know on my Tumblr: isaksforelsket  
> And if you want to listen to me bitch about writing, or anything else, head over to my Twitter: vandervaltersen


	13. don't let go

The black-rimmed glasses slipped down Isak’s nose as he sat cross-legged on the end of the bed; the only source of light in the room--the TV before him--shining on his face as the game of Fifa abandoned a while ago for the sake of endlessly scrolling on his phone flashed on the screen.

It was late. He should’ve been asleep, he knew that, but his mind wouldn’t allow him to do so. No matter the peacefulness of the night, the snowflakes falling from the sky before his window, some gathering on the window sill while the others created a shiny sheet across the pavement on the streets below; it didn't matter, sleep did not come. And so he remained wide awake, hoping that his eyes would start to close soon and he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from falling into a deep slumber, at least for a few hours. 

He couldn't help it, however. His mind was racing constantly, thoughts of the trip he would soon go on overflowing his entire being; the restlessness and the anticipation stopped him from getting any rest.

His fingers pushed the glasses up, nose scrunching up only slightly before he sighed, annoyed with himself as a thought of calling Even crossed his mind. No, he wouldn't call him, no matter how much the older boy seemed to help him fall asleep.

But suddenly his phone buzzed, the notification sliding down the screen and revealing a text from the person he hadn’t spoken to in a few days, ever since the party, and immediately his heart stopped, his body freezing.

**Chris**

_So, how long have you and Even been fucking?_

The panic within him grew with each time he re-read the message, the words swirling before his eyes as his breathing sped up; he couldn’t control it, palms sweating and almost causing his phone to fall as he moved one of his hands, gripping his forearm tightly, almost painfully so, digging his short nails into the sensitive skin in a desperate attempt to distract himself from what was happening. But it was of no use. No matter what he did or how hard he tried to rationalize the situation and tell himself it would be fine, that it wasn’t a big deal at all, his mind wouldn’t listen.

He stood from the bed, raising his hand and picking on the skin of his bottom lip with shaky fingers as he quickly typed out a reply.

_Where did you hear that?_

The seconds ticked by, the waiting only making his heart race faster than it did before, his hand clenching, nails digging into his palm as he watched the bubbles appear and disappear.

_Saw you two leaving the room together at the party._

Isak ran a hand through his hair, fingers getting tangled in the blonde strands before he tugged, the pain barely noticeable as he sat down on the edge of the bed, putting his glasses onto the nightstand before rubbing his eyes, taking in a shaky breath.

He didn’t know why he was reacting the way he was, why the mere thought of anyone knowing about him and Even terrified him, but it’s been so long since they started this thing between them, whatever it was, and he couldn’t fathom anyone intruding on it. 

It was theirs. 

It was them making sneaky plans in the middle of the lonely nights; running out of parties to rush to someone’s flat, stumbling over shoes and the carpet as they kissed their way to a room; Even winking at him in the hallway of the school when he noticed the bruises covering Isak’s neck and the slight limp in his step. 

It was theirs and theirs alone.

But Isak knew that what terrified him the most was the expectations and opinions everyone would have the moment they found out about them.

_Did he really think he could change him? He'd been sleeping around with others while they've been together._

_What a slut, can't believe he hooked up with the biggest manwhore in the school, so fucking easy, bet he'd spread his legs for anyone._

_What did Even see in him? He could do so much better._

They all knew Even, they knew what he was like, his reputation was well known within the confines of the school but they also knew just how Even felt about everyone he slept with. 

They were nothing to him. No one. Just a number. 

Isak couldn't be that. He couldn't be a faceless, unwanted figure in a long list of conquests. He couldn't bear the fact that that's maybe what Even had been thinking of him as all along. 

_Will you tell anyone?_

_Do you not want me to?_

Isak took in a deep breath, his heart still racing as he typed.

_No, please don’t say anything about it._

_Okay, no problem._

Isak frowned in confusion at the answer; it was far too simple, the response almost kind, but he couldn’t respond, he had to make sure Chris wouldn’t say a word about it.

So, he did the only thing he could think of, the only option which made sense.

He called Even.

The phone was ringing as he held the device to his ear, teeth digging into his bottom lip and tears filling his eyes, threatening to fall, but he wouldn't let them, he couldn't.

“Hello?” Even’s deep voice filled his head, the tone of it raspy, probably having just woken up, but Isak didn’t have time to feel bad about it, not when he was gasping, clutching at his chest and letting his fingers wrap around the fabric of his T-Shirt.

“E-Even," Isak stuttered out, walking back and forth in his room as his nails dug into his palm.

“Isak? What’s wrong?” Even's voice was filled with worry and panic, the words doing nothing to calm Isak down.

“I- Even, Chris knows, he knows about us,” He gasped, taking in a deep breath but his chest aching from the pressure he felt, his mind racing as he felt his hands tremble.  “He saw us walking out of the room at the party and I-I don’t know what to do, he’s gonna tell someone, E-Even, he’s gonna tell and I--” He cut himself off as he rubbed a hand over his face, trying to measure his breathing, counting in his head, hoping and praying that he would just stop fucking overreacting. 

He barely registered Even cursing under his breath, sounds of shuffling clear in the background as he started to speak. "Fuck, Isak, baby, I need you to focus on me, just listen to my voice, okay?"

His eyes closed shut, head tilting back as he tried to calm himself.

"Baby, it's okay, I'll take care of it, okay? Don't worry about anything," His words were calm, measured and reassuring; Isak's knees buckled as he finally took in a deep breath.

"That's it," Even spoke softly, "That's good, keep breathing for me."

Seconds ticked by, turning into minutes as Even continued to talk, to remind him to breathe, and finally, Isak found himself calming down.

"Are you in bed?"

"N-no," Isak stuttered out, hand clenching around the phone.

"Why don't you get comfortable and go lay down, yeah? I'll stay on the phone with you."

The nod he gave was pointless and so he whispered, "Yea-yeah, okay. I'll be right back."

He rushed to change his clothes, throwing his sweatpants down onto the floor with no regard.

He would clean everything up tomorrow, tonight it did not matter, not when Even was waiting right at the end of the line.

A clean T-Shirt on his body and his legs bare, only boxers covering the tops of his thighs, he climbed into the bed after turning the TV off, the room enveloped in darkness as he grabbed the phone, pressing it against his ear and shuffling beneath the blankets.

"I'm back," His voice was croaky, quiet and filled with remnants of anxiety.

"Comfy?" 

Isak hummed in confirmation, blinking slowly as he bit his lip, awkwardness slowly starting to creep in.

"I'll take care of it, you know?" Even said quietly, almost in a whisper, the tone of his voice causing a shiver to run down Isak's spine. "I'll make sure he doesn't say anything to anyone, I promise. Don't worry about anything, pretty boy."

Isak's eyes closed shut, a shy smile appearing on his features as he whispered. "Promise?"

"Promise." 

A few seconds of silence passed, Isak's heart finally back to normal speed as he simply focused on the sound of Even breathing. 

"Talk to me," Isak muttered, words slightly muffled as he pushed his face into the pillow, inhaling deeply almost as if he was chasing after the remnants of Even's scent from the last time he was beneath the covers with him.

Even didn't question it, he simply hummed in thought before the words spilt out of him; stories of his childhood, his aunt, Chris, anything he could think of until Isak's breathing evened out and he fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Red-rimmed, puffy eyes stared ahead as Isak rose his hands to pull his scarf up, the cold wind making his fingers tingle and bring about a sense of pain, but it didn't matter, not when his gaze was set upon the one person who was the reason behind his debauched appearance.

The courtyard was nearly empty, save for a few groups of students still postponing going inside the building, and luckily, The Penetrators were one of them and so Isak could see Chris; he could see him and Even leaning against the wall, arms pressed together as Even leaned down to whisper something to him, Chris merely rolling his eyes and nodding in response.

Isak gripped the straps on his backpack, pulling them up before he let his arms fall, his nails once again digging into his palms as Even finally met his gaze, something sympathetic flashing in his eyes, but Isak wasn't thinking about that, no, all that mattered is that he takes care of the situation.

His legs started to move before he could let himself overthink it and with each step Even's gaze turned more and more panicked, a small shake of his head becoming apparent but Isak kept going.

He approached the group, hands cold and heart racing, disregarding the murmurs and whistles he received when he gripped the sleeve of Chris' jacket, the third-year's expression filled with confusion at the sudden commotion, but he walked with Isak regardless when the smaller boy pulled, dragging him away from his friends.

Isak stopped suddenly, both of them facing each other as Isak ignored the glare Even was sending their way.

"Wha--" Chris started, voice filled with confusion but Isak simply cut him off.

"You can't tell anyone," He spoke quickly, in a panic, and Chris' features changed to those of understanding. Isak took in a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts and think of a way to get out of the mess they had created. "I just don't want anyone to know, so please, don't tell anyone about it."

Chris blinked, brown eyes trailing over Isak's face as the smaller boy shuffled in one spot, wringing his hands together and biting his lip until it was red and raw.

"Isak, I wouldn't do that, okay? Don't worry, bro, I won't say a word."

A sense of relief flooded Isak's body but he still had doubts, he couldn't help it, not when he had had people promise something to him many times before only to betray him seemingly within seconds.

He closed his eyes shut, taking in a shaky breath before opening them once again, vision blurred with tears and yet he could still see the way Chris recoiled from the sight.

"I-I need you to promise me, Chris, promise you won't tell," He stopped, throat closing up as he tried to keep in his sobs.

"I promise, I swear no one will find out, your secret is safe with me. Even already talked to me this morning and told me he'll break my legs if anyone finds out so don't worry about it."

Isak nodded hastily, lips parting as he looked down at the ground.

And before he knew it, there were two strong arms wrapping themselves around him. "Come here, kid," Chris said before Isak found his face buried in the soft coat Chris wore, Isak's arms hugging the third year around his waist as he let out a shaky breath.

"Thank you."

As they parted and Isak could finally smile sincerely, he glanced to the side and yet he ignored the way Even's expression was filled with anger.

* * *

It wasn't long since he had received the text-- _Come over, pretty boy_ \--and yet Isak already stood before the door of Even's flat after a kind old lady let him into the building as she was walking out, a sweet smile on her face as Isak walked past her and towards the man that was sure to ruin him that very night. 

His knuckles met the wooden door, his nose and cheeks still red from the cold as he ran a hand over his face, hoping that Even would open quickly and let him into the warmth of his apartment.

"What the fuck?" He heard the confused voice before the door even opened but within seconds the entrance was opening and he was met with a disgruntled Even; a large T-Shirt hanging off of his body as his legs remained bare, his lower half only covered by boxers, causing Isak to shriek in surprise before he frowned in confusion at the furrow of Even's brows.

"Why the fuck are you so surprised? You asked me to come over."

Even rolled his eyes, sighing while stepping to the side, allowing Isak to enter and discard his shoes and jacket.

"I thought you would be longer, I started watching a movie."

Isak sighed at that, placing his jacket on the hook and turning toward Even. "Eskild was going somewhere so he dropped me off, I can go if you want me to."

Even groaned at that, wrapping his hand around Isak's wrist and dragging him through the simplistic flat. "Shut up, just watch the movie with me and then I'll fuck you."

Isak snorted, a smile appearing on his face as they entered Even's room. "So fucking romantic, Even."

"Oh, sorry," Even said as he jumped on the bed, leaning back against the headboard and picking up the laptop he had placed on the floor. "Next time I'll be sure to  spread rose petals on the floor and light some candles, okay baby?"

The blush that spread across Isak's cheeks did nothing to remove the furrow of his brows and he dutifully ignored it, walking over to the bed and sitting down instead, making sure not to touch Even at all.

"Just shut up and put the shitty movie on."

Even shifted slightly, turning the lamp off and allowing the room to become dark, the only light shining on them being the screen of the laptop; Isak's eyes focused on it as Even went back to the beginning of the film until it stopped on the title-- 'Breathless.'

"You'll like it, don't worry," Even smirked at him as Isak pulled his knees up to his chest, hugging around them and listening to the start of the film. "It's a masterpiece."

Isak wouldn't admit it, not when Even was sitting right next to him, a smug expression on his face as Isak stared intently at the screen, but he loved it. Every line, every shot, every word the characters spoke enraptured him completely, so much so that he almost missed the buzzing of the phone in his pocket.

Almost.

With a sigh, he shuffled forward, leaning back and pushing his hand into his pocket until he finally gripped the device, looking at the screen immediately and biting his lip to prevent a smile from pulling on his face at the sight of the caller.

He answered.

"Hey, dad."

Silence; seconds filled with tension until his father finally heaved a sigh.

"Hey, Isak."

Isak barely noticed Even pausing the movie, now scrolling on his phone and waiting while Isak moved to sit crosslegged.

"Did you call about the trip? Don't worry, I'll be ready and I'll have everything packed, I don't want to bring a lot of stuff but at the same time I don't want to be missing anything when I get there so I'm going to have to figure something out, I don't think it will all fit in my suitcase. Oh, I was going to ask you if you wanted to go ice-skating one day?" He stopped his rambling, his body almost vibrating with excitement.

But his father did not respond the way he expected him to.

"Isak, we need to talk."

Isak's face dropped, his heart starting to race. His father wouldn't do this to him, not again, not when Isak was so close to having the one thing he'd been wanting for years.

"Wha-what is it?"

Another sigh came from the older man, Isak's knuckles turning white as he clenched his hand around his phone, staring off at the wall before him, ignoring the way Even's eyes were trailing over his face.

"I'm sorry but there's been a change of plans," The words left Isak's hands shaking, his muscles tense and rigid as he felt his chest tighten. 

"What do you mean?" Isak asked, voice quiet and filled with fear. He knew what he was going to say, he knew, but there was still a small bit of hope left within him. Hope that he wouldn't do this, he wouldn't let him down.

"You can't come here for Christmas, Isak."

His body shivered, trembling as if he was still standing outside in the freezing cold, his bottom lip starting to shake as he stared ahead, Even still beside him, shifting in the spot and placing the laptop down onto the floor. He pulled on a loose thread on his sweatpants, trying desperately to focus enough to keep his hands from shaking, to calm the fuck down.

_I should've expected it, I should've seen it coming, I should've--_

He took in a shaky breath. 

"Why not?"

"Something came up," Terje's voice was shaky, quiet. "I have work, Isak, I can't get time off and it would be pointless for you to come since I wouldn't be home at all."

A lie.

Isak knew he was lying, he could tell by the tone of his voice, and so the betrayal he felt began to mix with anger, rage.

"Just tell me the truth, tell me wh--" He was cut off, a soft-spoken woman saying something to his dad. He couldn't understand what it was, he didn't need to, he could tell there was fondness in the words, affection that he hadn't heard directed towards him in what felt like years. He was just about to speak, call him a liar and tell him never to speak to him again when suddenly he heard children giggling, laughing in the background, his dad's breath hitching at the sound. He knew Isak heard it. "So, that's why I can't come?"

Terje sighed and Isak could just picture the expression on his face; his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes closed shut in exasperation. 

"They were supposed to come back after you left. Well, the kids were. She was going to come a few days before and I was going to introduce you to her but something happened and I had to give the extra room to the kids. I'm sorry, there's just no room for you here."

A bitter laugh threatened to burst out of him, eyes prickling with tears as he processed the words.

_No room for him. He wasn't welcome._

He didn't know why he thought it would turn out differently. His father didn't want him, he had a new family, new children that he could get another chance with, children that weren't yet fucked up by the lack of care in their lives.

Pointless. The whole idea was pointless.

The thing he was most enraged by, however, was the mere fact that he fell for it. He believed him and he thought that he had changed.

A fucking lie.

"Okay. Don't bother contacting me for anything other than money. Bye."

"Is--"

He didn't hear the rest, he refused to listen to whatever excuses he would try to come up with. There was no point, he didn't want to hear it.

But the moment he hung up, throwing his phone to the side, the anger disapparated, all that was left behind was pure betrayal, his chest heavy, as if someone was sitting directly on top of it, constricting his airway.

He couldn't breathe. He needed to get the fuck out.

“Isak?” Even’s voice was barely heard, a whisper in his far too loud mind as he gulped, only then noticing how dry his mouth was, how difficult it was to focus on anything that wasn't the burning of his lungs.

In and out. In and out. It wasn’t fucking working.

He felt tears prick at his eyes, his fingers shaking as his lips parted.

“I-I have to go, I’m gonna g-go home.”

He made to stand from the bed, his knees buckling and form shaking as he turned to the side, breath coming out fast and rapid. But suddenly he felt a hold around his wrist, something anchoring him to where he was.

“Isak, I can’t let you go anywhere when you’re like this, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

The sincerity in the third year's voice is what cut through his heart the most. His chest breaking in half as he struggled to take in a breath, his head turning to the side and gaze meeting Even’s steely one, worry clear in his irises.

He couldn’t take it. A sob wracked his body as he let himself fall backwards, body twisting until he could lean forward towards Even, desperate to feel his comforting touch. He flinched back suddenly, reminding himself he wasn’t welcome, he couldn’t have the touch he so desperately craved, not from the boy before him, he didn't deserve it, he-- 

Before he could even think about running away Even was gripping him tightly, strong arms wrapping around him and pulling him in until his face was smooshed into his T-Shirt, tears soaking the fabric while he fisted it with shaky hands.

“I-I,” He tried to speak but he couldn’t, voice cracking as his throat convulsed.

“It’s okay,” Even spoke, hand combing through his hair as Isak shuffled closer, hands desperately trailing over Even’s body, trying to find purchase as he took in a gasping breath.

“Why-Why doesn’t anyone want me?”

He felt Even stiffen, the words sour on his tongue, bitterness spreading throughout his body and yet the taste was washed away with his tears. He didn’t care, he couldn’t any longer. “I try so fucking hard and he never wants me, no one ever wants me, what did I do? Ev-Even what did I do?”

Even’s hold tightened around him until suddenly he was shifting, grip becoming loose for a moment and Isak let out a sob louder than before, fear filling his veins at the mere prospect of Even pushing him away.

_He said too much._

_He’s being too loud._

_He’s done something wrong._

_He-_

Even moved him until Isak was sitting sideways between his legs, Even’s arms still firmly wrapped around him as he leaned his cheek against Isak’s head, and all Isak could do was turn to the side and weep.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Even’s words were firm, settling within his mind but they did nothing to ease the ache. “You’re a good person, Isak. You’re kind and you’re sweet and merely having you around can make someone's life vastly better than it was before. Don’t blame yourself for the shortcomings of others. You did nothing wrong.”

Isak ignored the wetness of Even’s T-Shirt, clumsy fingertips digging into his sides as he tried to burrow closer, disappear completely from everything and everyone. He didn’t want to do it anymore, he didn’t want to always lose.

“I just want someone to love me,” He sobbed out, throat aching from the power of it as Even pressed a kiss to his hair. “I-I want to feel wanted.”

Even did not speak, instead, he ran his palm down Isak’s back, shivers crashing through his small form as he continued to cry, emotions flooding his entire being while Even simply held him.

But Isak needed more, he needed to forget, to feel as if he could do something right, he could make someone want him if only for a few moments.

He surged up, Even gasping from the sudden movement but he did not have time to speak, not when Isak was clumsily pressing their lips together, fingers pushing through blonde streaks of hair as Even kept his lips shut.

Suddenly, only a few seconds later, Isak felt strong hands grip his shoulders, teary eyes looking at Even’s, finally noticing the apprehension in the older boy's face, his hands pushing him away as tears continued to stream down Isak's cheeks.

"Please, please Even, I just want to forget, I don't want to think, please," He clenched his eyes shut, shame filling his veins as he trembled. "Please make it stop."

Even didn't kiss him, he didn't do what Isak wanted him to, instead he raised his hands, cupping his cheeks and with the gentlest of touches he wiped away the tears falling from his closed eyes. "It's okay, just let it out," Even whispered before Isak finally crumpled, falling forward and allowing all the pain to leave his body, letting the sobs fall from his lips and his hands clutch

Even as if he was worried he would disappear from his grasp if he didn't hold onto him.

He did not know how much time had passed, how long he spent crying into Even's chest, how long Even held him and whispered sweet nothing's into his ear, but at some point, all that was left inside of him was pure exhaustion; his eyelids heavy, lips dry and muscles heavy. 

He sniffled, staring off to the side as Even's fingertips trailed down his spine.

"Let's get you to bed," Even whispered, waiting until Isak nodded and finally moving him until Isak was sitting beside him.

"Do you want to take your clothes off?" Even said as he wiped the remainders of his tears off of his face, his palms hot and soft on Isak's cheeks.

Isak merely nodded.

Even moved away at that, Isak watching him as he walked over to the closet, grabbing a T-Shirt before rushing back.

"Come on, sweetheart," Even spoke softly, as if he was worried he would scare him if he raised his voice. "Let's get you comfortable."

Isak felt his fingers dip beneath the hem of his hoodie, gripping it and pulling, throwing it to the side before he pulled the cold T-Shirt over his head, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear after he did so.

"Can I take your pants off?" Even asked as Isak looked up at him, seeing nothing but concern in his eyes.

A nod.

Even quickly pulled them off, dragging his socks off along the way and throwing the clothes down onto the floor before he shed his own T-Shirt.

"Move up a bit, baby, get under the covers."

Isak did so, allowing him to pull the blanket down.

"Good boy."

The praise that would usually bring a flush to his cheeks did nothing of the sort and instead, he simply lay down, turning on his side and facing away from Even as the older boy got in next to him.

 _Please hold me, please, fuck, just hold me,_ Isak prayed. 

He needed to feel him, he needed those strong arms around him and he was just waiting for the moment that Even would reject him, refuse to give him the touch he craved.

But he needn't worry, for Even pressed his body against his, his chest warm against Isak's back as the smaller boy shivered at the touch, a gasp caught in his throat and tears once again filling his eyes. And so he turned around, throwing an arm over Even's waist and clutching at him as the third year held him close.

"I've got you," Even whispered, his lips pressing against Isak's forehead, the tears spilling over once again. "Don't worry, I'm right here, baby, right here."

And so Isak fell asleep with tear tracks trailing down his cheeks and the embrace of the person he could no longer pretend to despise holding him together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back heeeyy  
> So, no smut in this one folks, sorry heh I decided to focus on Isak and his emotions a little bit instead!  
> As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, what did you think? What did you like, etc 
> 
> Tumblr: isaksforelsket  
> Twitter: vandervaltersen


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